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Men... Spoil it for ourselves

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

I'm as hot blooded, randy, kinky and horny as the next man on here. With experience and hindsight I now feel as though I can share a few words of wisdom. I remember when I first got into the scene and the advice that I didn't take note of.

I read on here all the time about men complaining of not getting meets and throwing toys out of the pram because women aren't responding to mails and messages.

My opinion; and it is just my opinion is that we men spoilt it for ourselves on the scene a long time ago. The pressure we put on ourselves to get any sort of action and in some cases the desperateness of just having any woman say yes to your advances is seen as a result! It's this that firmly puts women in the driving seat and not so much just the numbers or ratios.

I love sex but with maturity I think I have accepted that sex every day and night will not come by joining a swinging site. This site is quite quirky in the things that I see people doing to prove worthiness of meeting another. Men it really does seem to be us willing to do silly things for a meet on this site. For example.... Why would you send a face picture to a profile that has no pictures on it? Don't believe that crap of I'll reply with a face pic if interested tosh! What else would you do for a promise? I've seen 'wish lists' on some profiles. You can buy a woman something from a wish list. Do men do this? If so you deserve to have the piss taken out of you? The other gem I see on here a lot is the whole thing of if you message them starting the conversation with 'hello' you will be blocked! Last time I went out in the real world, away from a keyboard and screen, people still greet each other with hello! Then the unfair match. There is the guy that has set his parameters and search criteria to find what he likes but after time relaxes these wants as those he wants are not responding. Don't do it mate! When your out with your pals down the local would you still approach the lady you are about to send a message to. The other giggle I have is looking at a profile where the public photos are of a shapely ass or pert breast but the closing line on their profile is don't send cock pics they all look the same! Take note ladies they don't all look the same. Catch mine I the right light and it is the Denzel of all cocks on here!

In the West Indies we have a saying.... Fix up!

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

I think I can condense what you're saying..

Think with your brain not your cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I can condense what you're saying..

Think with your brain not your cock "

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff


"I'm as hot blooded, randy, kinky and horny as the next man on here. With experience and hindsight I now feel as though I can share a few words of wisdom. I remember when I first got into the scene and the advice that I didn't take note of.

I read on here all the time about men complaining of not getting meets and throwing toys out of the pram because women aren't responding to mails and messages.

My opinion; and it is just my opinion is that we men spoilt it for ourselves on the scene a long time ago. The pressure we put on ourselves to get any sort of action and in some cases the desperateness of just having any woman say yes to your advances is seen as a result! It's this that firmly puts women in the driving seat and not so much just the numbers or ratios.

I love sex but with maturity I think I have accepted that sex every day and night will not come by joining a swinging site. This site is quite quirky in the things that I see people doing to prove worthiness of meeting another. Men it really does seem to be us willing to do silly things for a meet on this site. For example.... Why would you send a face picture to a profile that has no pictures on it? Don't believe that crap of I'll reply with a face pic if interested tosh! What else would you do for a promise? I've seen 'wish lists' on some profiles. You can buy a woman something from a wish list. Do men do this? If so you deserve to have the piss taken out of you? The other gem I see on here a lot is the whole thing of if you message them starting the conversation with 'hello' you will be blocked! Last time I went out in the real world, away from a keyboard and screen, people still greet each other with hello! Then the unfair match. There is the guy that has set his parameters and search criteria to find what he likes but after time relaxes these wants as those he wants are not responding. Don't do it mate! When your out with your pals down the local would you still approach the lady you are about to send a message to. The other giggle I have is looking at a profile where the public photos are of a shapely ass or pert breast but the closing line on their profile is don't send cock pics they all look the same! Take note ladies they don't all look the same. Catch mine I the right light and it is the Denzel of all cocks on here!

In the West Indies we have a saying.... Fix up!"

In deepest Wales we have a saying - "paragraphs, mun" . In fairness, they are there at the start, but that last block of text is a bigger to wade through.

Being serious though. Blokes are pretty desperate in real life too. Relaxing standards? Have you not seen guys on a night out getting less and less picky as the night draws on and the beer flows?

Profiles asking for gifts are very rare. I'm sure blokes still message them, but blokes often do daft things in the real world too.

"Hello" messages - the women I know are perfectly happy to get a message that starts "hello", then moves on. Very different to one saying just "hello". It does suggest a lack of imagination.

I used to have a friend who'd ring up and say "hello". That was it. I'd have to make the conversation. It feels like that and that's a pain on a site where some people get so many messages (it was a pain with my mate too). First impressions and all that.

I don't think women are saying all cocks are the same. They just mean they get the general idea and (rightly or wrongly) a profile with just those pics suggests the guy lacks imagination will just be focused on that part of his anatomy having a splendid time at the meet.

Interesting thoughts though.

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

*is a bugger*.

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool


"I'm as hot blooded, randy, kinky and horny as the next man on here. With experience and hindsight I now feel as though I can share a few words of wisdom. I remember when I first got into the scene and the advice that I didn't take note of.

I read on here all the time about men complaining of not getting meets and throwing toys out of the pram because women aren't responding to mails and messages.

My opinion; and it is just my opinion is that we men spoilt it for ourselves on the scene a long time ago. The pressure we put on ourselves to get any sort of action and in some cases the desperateness of just having any woman say yes to your advances is seen as a result! It's this that firmly puts women in the driving seat and not so much just the numbers or ratios.

I love sex but with maturity I think I have accepted that sex every day and night will not come by joining a swinging site. This site is quite quirky in the things that I see people doing to prove worthiness of meeting another. Men it really does seem to be us willing to do silly things for a meet on this site. For example.... Why would you send a face picture to a profile that has no pictures on it? Don't believe that crap of I'll reply with a face pic if interested tosh! What else would you do for a promise? I've seen 'wish lists' on some profiles. You can buy a woman something from a wish list. Do men do this? If so you deserve to have the piss taken out of you? The other gem I see on here a lot is the whole thing of if you message them starting the conversation with 'hello' you will be blocked! Last time I went out in the real world, away from a keyboard and screen, people still greet each other with hello! Then the unfair match. There is the guy that has set his parameters and search criteria to find what he likes but after time relaxes these wants as those he wants are not responding. Don't do it mate! When your out with your pals down the local would you still approach the lady you are about to send a message to. The other giggle I have is looking at a profile where the public photos are of a shapely ass or pert breast but the closing line on their profile is don't send cock pics they all look the same! Take note ladies they don't all look the same. Catch mine I the right light and it is the Denzel of all cocks on here!

In the West Indies we have a saying.... Fix up!"

You had me at "I'm"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the real world if you walked up to someone's wife and started chatting them up the male half may be so inclined to knock 10 bales of shit out of you or how often do you walk up to a girl in a bar with a bag over your head and your cock out saying "hello, Wanna fuck?" real world examples don't really work for fab is my point...

As a couple do you know how many messages we get saying "hello"? It's lots. Do you know how many of those we have replied to end up in a decent conversation? Its not many I can assure you. Generally the ones who put some thought and effort into the message are the ones worth speaking too, sorry but that's the law of averages.

I do however totally agree with not lowering your standards, why on earth anyone would meet with someone just for the sake of meeting is beyond me, desperation isn't attractive and the "any holes a goal" mentality on here really does give women all the options.

There are some guys who do really well on here so obviously they are doing something right that 95% of the others aren't. I wouldn't tar all men with the same brush.

M&M

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover


"In the real world if you walked up to someone's wife and started chatting them up the male half may be so inclined to knock 10 bales of shit out of you or how often do you walk up to a girl in a bar with a bag over your head and your cock out saying "hello, Wanna fuck?" real world examples don't really work for fab is my point...

As a couple do you know how many messages we get saying "hello"? It's lots. Do you know how many of those we have replied to end up in a decent conversation? Its not many I can assure you. Generally the ones who put some thought and effort into the message are the ones worth speaking too, sorry but that's the law of averages.

I do however totally agree with not lowering your standards, why on earth anyone would meet with someone just for the sake of meeting is beyond me, desperation isn't attractive and the "any holes a goal" mentality on here really does give women all the options.

There are some guys who do really well on here so obviously they are doing something right that 95% of the others aren't. I wouldn't tar all men with the same brush.

M&M

"

I quite agree.

The OP is thoughtful but as I read it through it began to sound more like a thinly-disguised rant

...still, it's the right day for that..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some men ruin it for themselves by constantly leading with sex which obviously in life you wouldn't do ,you approach a woman with manners and ask her things relating to her profile and send a face pic and if they like you they will get back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some posts make me

Thats all i have to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/03/16 09:16:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most guys on here seem to forget they are talking to women and all subtleness is long lost!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Basically then (some) blokes will do anything to get laid? Who knew?

Seriously though op if you've lived as a woman for any length of time you know all of that, some of us choose not to take advantage of guys willingness to roll over and others will. Hang around the forums and watch the sycophantic behaviour of the minority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have made a few valid points though a shorter version might have been easier to read.

Men shouldn't lower their standards in the hope of getting sex nor should they jump through any hoops they don't want to. If you see a ranty profile demanding this & that, you don't have to comply, it's not compulsory.

Some women on here, I have no doubt have an over enflated ego the same as some men have an overt sense of entitlement. The two don't mix well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of the 14 e mails I have received this morning 1 is from a local couple 2 are from local men and the other 11 are from men who clearly did not read my profile they don't have to read all of it the first sentence should have been enough to tell them not to bother e mailing me .....

However I only block if the person gets abusive or doesn't get the message that I'm not interested for example for the last two weeks I have had the same e mail from the same man despite telling him several times I'm not interested so the last e mail to him was straight to the point 'as you can't read you're blocked' certainly don't block for a simple hello more likely just delete the e mail.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Some men spoil it for themselves... Others know and maintain their own self worth.

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

Really sorry the original message was so long and thank you for reading it in the spirit it was sent. I had not wanted to discourage (some) women from doing what they do but wanted to make the lads think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Really sorry the original message was so long and thank you for reading it in the spirit it was sent. I had not wanted to discourage (some) women from doing what they do but wanted to make the lads think.

"

If the 'lads' can't think for themselves perhaps that says it all?

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By *onny Bones OP   Man
over a year ago

a block away from heaven

[Removed by poster at 31/03/16 11:40:07]

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

I do agree that some men do spoil it for themselves but would stress they definitely do not for others, as is frequently claimed on whining posts...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't lay all the eggs in one basket

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Wibble

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

We treat all single men the same way we treat everyone else on here (and in the 'real world') with respect and courtesy. Unfortunately lots of people don't do the same to us and be they single females, guys or couples they will be ignored, shot down or ridiculed depending on their initial contact and mood we happen to be in.

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By *sianmale89Man
over a year ago

Stockport

OP is like a black yoda, spreading thy words off wisdom onto the eyes and ears for the men on fab to read..

definitely some good points you have made, think the best way to use this site in a nutshell is just act/speak like how you would in real life with people by behaving more or less...

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...that is unless some one acts like an arsehole with you then wreck havoc on their arses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately the ones here who insist on maintaining their standards and not be pushovers are often the ones who have the longest dry spells. Like it or not, throw enough crap at the fan and sooner or later something is going to stick.

Seems ironic that the best way for a man to get meets here is to be a dick and spread his net as far and wide as possible. At least that's my impression.

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By *sianmale89Man
over a year ago

Stockport


"Unfortunately the ones here who insist on maintaining their standards and not be pushovers are often the ones who have the longest dry spells. Like it or not, throw enough crap at the fan and sooner or later something is going to stick.

Seems ironic that the best way for a man to get meets here is to be a dick and spread his net as far and wide as possible. At least that's my impression. "

you don't have to lower yourself to the standards off being a "dick" though tbh, this place is not easy or a simple thing to pursue but with the right people you meet it can be excellent IMO and if you come across nasty people sod em their not worth the time..

I'm usually honest and upfront with those who are interested in meeting and they usually appreciate the honesty and politeness, if some one acts like a knob head towards me then I pretty much just be a bigger one back till they piss off...

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester

On the cock shot thing, lots of women aren't bothered about size. They are probably more interested in who you are and what you can do with that cock. Men tend to be turned on by visual stuff, lots of us fems need more than that to interest us

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

Women in the driving seat is ruining things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find the best way to meet anyone is at a club, I have met loads of couples and had hours of fun and met a load of new friends because you are talking face to face to them couples or singles, and also had private meets at my place with couples who have asked for my number and contacted me. I do sent messages to couples on here and not one meet, that say everything too me, I am genuine, I have been verified by couples but still no meets on fab, so it's clubs for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do people quote really Long posts lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

no-one has ever spoiled it for me.

I have made some great choices in life & swinging, some not so good.

I don't make the same mistakes again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

people need to focus more on themselves and what they want and not what others are doing wrong fed up with reading post from men telling other men how to behave its almost looking for brownie point for yourself .. no one is ruining it for anyone bar themselves ..

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