FabSwingers.com forum: Social events with single guys. Yay or nay?

By *ondonSwingSocial OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Hi,

I recently started to plan social events and just wanted to get a general consensus from couples and single women. Would you attend a social with single guys?

Some couples I've been speaking to wouldn't attend due to there being single men in attendance.

I've now put up an event that's on the 23rd of April for couples and single women only.

And have had some people who would have gone, but due to the lack of single men, were not interested.

I understand it's a Social so no play is involved. For those couples that won't attend because of single men, do you think they understand that?

Shall I change the event to include men?

Thanks for all your opinions xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always think a social event should be open to all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have absolutely no issue socialising with singles or couples, men or women, even though we aren't actively looking for single guys to meet for ourselves we do host parties and know other people who are looking to meet single guys so would always be happy to make new single male friends to invite along.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Any social event we've attended has included single men and they've all understood very well that its social only. We prefer social events that are open to all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm with the deviants. I pretty fresh here and And it seems that single guys get bad rap. But there are some of us that would be pretty happy in a purely social environment. I do it all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on how many are coming and ratio of couples and singles x

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By *ondonSwingSocial OP Couple
over a year ago

London

I did think socials were open to all, but I wondered why some couples didn't want to attend of there were single guys?

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By *awtynNiceCouple
over a year ago

…

Guess we all look for different things; we would always look for an event with a good mix of guys, girls and couples. Hope it all goes well. X

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

You know our opinion as I have spoken to you about it. It's a social and we think it should be open to all. Difficulty is choosing the single guys though, because whose taste would they be to? Saying that, its a social so the people we socialise with, wouldn't necessarily be those we play with. We would be much less likely to go to a social where there were only single women and couples. We like the company of friendly people ....

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"I did think socials were open to all, but I wondered why some couples didn't want to attend of there were single guys?

Personally, I think they may either think the single men might be pushy or maybe the guy in the couple doesn't want too much competition? Why else?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did think socials were open to all, but I wondered why some couples didn't want to attend of there were single guys?

Perhaps because they're only looking for couples and/or women

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"I did think socials were open to all, but I wondered why some couples didn't want to attend of there were single guys?

Perhaps because they're only looking for couples and/or women"

I think different when it's a social though? We aren't looking for couples, but we would still go ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did think socials were open to all, but I wondered why some couples didn't want to attend of there were single guys?

Perhaps because they're only looking for couples and/or women

I think different when it's a social though? We aren't looking for couples, but we would still go .... "

Yes but as the op says some couples won't go if there are single guys there which is why I've said what I've said. I guess they feel it's pointless if there are single guys there as less couples would attend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't go to a social that excluded anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on venue too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is cos the men in the couples would feel intimidated if their wife fancied them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am very much inclined to say that it isn't a social if 1) there are attendance limits, and 2) certain categories of people are barred from going (like single guys in the example given). Socials are in a public area and should rightly be a free-for-all for everyone to mingle and get to know new people. I wouldn't go to a social that excludes single men (because I wouldn't be able to get in anyway) and I wouldn't go to that social even if the organisers opened up the lists for single men again because I'd be right pissed off that they've wanted to cut out an entire segment of the Fab population just to appease some couples who are too touchy about single males just because they have negative impressions or stereotypes beforehand!

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"I think it is cos the men in the couples would feel intimidated if their wife fancied them."

I agree with this, Shah. It would be great to see you at a local social. love your posts and think you would be a great laugh at a social ...

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"I think it is cos the men in the couples would feel intimidated if their wife fancied them.

I agree with this, Shah. It would be great to see you at a local social. love your posts and think you would be a great laugh at a social ..."

*shag .... my autocorrect doesn't like rood words, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it is cos the men in the couples would feel intimidated if their wife fancied them."

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I think socials should include everybody. It is after all just an event to get to know each other. Although I do get that you wouldn't want it to become a sausage fest!!

There was a social in my area recently, unfortunately I couldn't go, but 'invites' were sent out and I know one single guy I know didn't get one. It felt a bit

Good luck OP

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Our socials are open to everyone. All the single men who have attended have behaved perfectly well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it is cos the men in the couples would feel intimidated if their wife fancied them.

I agree with this, Shah. It would be great to see you at a local social. love your posts and think you would be a great laugh at a social ...

*shag .... my autocorrect doesn't like rood words, lol"
lol yes the phone sometimes do spell words funny, thanks and I like your posts as well and would as well be fun to attend one of the socials, have a drink and some snacks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it is cos the men in the couples would feel intimidated if their wife fancied them.

If that were the case then those couples shouldn't even be swinging then. Says a lot about the selfish nature of some couples who swing mainly for the male partner's benefit (he gets to fuck extra pussies without needing to cheat outside marriage, but he feels insecure or threatened if some other guy could fuck his female partner too?) "
That is right too and yeah it can depend on many things as well and factors, I think swinging allows both parties to see other peeps without feeling guilty too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well that isn't very social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our socials are open to everyone. All the single men who have attended have behaved perfectly well

Whens yr next one and where would be very interested in coming x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The forum folk are always advising single guys go along to socials as a way into the scene/to get verified...its hard enough for them without being excluded from these as well. For every couple that won't attend there will be plenty more who will....and you could always please both by having a general social for all and a couples only version...I know which I'd rather attend!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think socials should be open to everyone.

But, I think the bad wrap lots of guys in couples get is unfair. If a couple doesn't want to attend a social with single guys then they must be insecure and afraid their wife will just fancy other men? Really?

I think it's because single men are pretty plentiful on fab. You don't generally need a social to find them. Women and couples, on the other hand, can be more difficult to find on fab. So lots of couples probably want to attend socials with that demographic. That goes for the women in couples as well as all those insecure men.

Any OP, the social should be what you want it to be. If you want an event for everyone (which is the type of event we prefer to attend) then go for it.

-Courtney

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Our socials are open to everyone. All the single men who have attended have behaved perfectly well

Whens yr next one and where would be very interested in coming x"

On Saturday in London then in Leicester soon. Feel free to friend my other profile and you'll get our updates

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

golden rule about dealing with tge public.. you cant please everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd prefer open to all. If couples don't want to speak to single guys (or insert any demographics in there) the they don't have to.

I've had it a few times while working where couples have asked if I can set them up with people their age etc. It's like people don't want to put in a little effort themselves and want everything tailored to them, all for free of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our socials are open to everyone. All the single men who have attended have behaved perfectly well

Whens yr next one and where would be very interested in coming x

On Saturday in London then in Leicester soon. Feel free to friend my other profile and you'll get our updates

Have messaged you x

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By *ondonSwingSocial OP Couple
over a year ago

London

Thanks for all the advice all...

I have changed my profile to reflect how I would like to run my socials.

As a single girl I would like single men to be there

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

I think if it's your social - and you've organised a venue etc - you can invite whoever you want. Personally, I wouldn't be interested in a social that excluded single guys, though.

Perhaps a half-way house would be to have a limit on the proportion of single guys invited? Or maybe couples/single girls can each bring along a trusted single guy they know?

Although at all the organised socials I've been to, the single guys have all been perfect gentlemen. I've never known there to be any problem with single guys at socials. And for those single guys who can't get a meet, it would be nice if socials were open-to-all, so that they could start building up their contacts in the swinging world.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

some people seem to forget that "social" is short for socialising......

in the 10 odd years of now going to socials up and down the country i have never been at one where they have had to gerrymander figures for single guys to be the biggest group of people there....

singles have never outnumbered couples... and yet... some people still fill its right to put on quota's...

my local have started doing this again... i decided not to go out of principle.. simple as!!! i go to others up and down the country who dont and i have a blast!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"some people seem to forget that "social" is short for socialising......

in the 10 odd years of now going to socials up and down the country i have never been at one where they have had to gerrymander figures for single guys to be the biggest group of people there....

singles have never outnumbered couples... and yet... some people still fill its right to put on quota's...

my local have started doing this again... i decided not to go out of principle.. simple as!!! i go to others up and down the country who dont and i have a blast!"

We found that single men were in the minority simply because many of them felt too nervous to turn up alone. As I said we never found single men to be anything less than friendly and respectful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being honest, and I say this as someone that has been around the scene for several years as one half of a couple and a single male so sees it from both sides, I think barring single men is a really bad idea.

Socials should be inclusive. There is no obvious reason to exclude single men, if male halves of couples are threatened by single males (don;t personally buy that theory) they'll be threatened by the male halves of couples. Similarly while the forums feature plenty of stories about poor behaviour, this is unusual and certainly not limited to single men.

There is an argument to balance numbers, a social where most people are straight single men would be crap for most people there and how you balance the numbers while keeping the event inclusive is always going to be difficult but still doable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/03/16 00:25:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did think socials were open to all, but I wondered why some couples didn't want to attend of there were single guys?

Because some couples are so far up themselves that they see single guys as lower than themselves .

The entitled attitude that exudes from them is simply sickening .

A social us an opportunity for anyone and everyone to get verified and to show they can interact in a mature way .

We would steer well clear of a social which excluded single guys and TVs

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By *ondonSwingSocial OP Couple
over a year ago

London

My last social had more men than women, but all were respectful. And my friend who is a TS came to support me, they respected her too.

I really shouldn't pander to the wants of a few. Thanks for the comments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did think socials were open to all, but I wondered why some couples didn't want to attend of there were single guys?

Because some couples are so far up themselves that they see single guys as lower than themselves .

The entitled attitude that exudes from them is simply sickening .

A social us an opportunity for anyone and everyone to get verified and to show they can interact in a mature way .

We would steer well clear of a social which excluded single guys and TVs

Well said

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By *inger SiMan
over a year ago

Cambridge

"I did think socials were open to all, but I wondered why some couples didn't want to attend of there were single guys?

So couples are just odd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will be dammed if you do dammed if you don't. You will loose some which ever way you do it. It my opinion if it's a social it should be inclusive. There are club nights to suit how everyone plays

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a social should be as inclusive as possible. Given that you're the one putting the time and effort into organising them you should go with what you feel most comfortable with too. I'm not sure how I feel about limits or quotas. However, if the venue places a limit on the number of people that may attend then perhaps it becomes necessary to maintain a good mix.

Good luck with the next event OP. We'll keep an eye on future dates.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At first we limited the number of single men, we had over 70 want to attend the first one and only 34 couples, 4 single ladies,

On average around 75% of men who ask to attend don't show, we give them a second chance and if they fail to show up and had not cancelled, we block them, same goes for couples, ladies and Tv/ts.

We only accept men if they have been on for over 3 months and unverified couples and ladies, must talk to us on the phone first, this gets rid of the fake ladies and couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My last social had more men than women, but all were respectful. And my friend who is a TS came to support me, they respected her too.

I really shouldn't pander to the wants of a few. Thanks for the comments

I think it's great that you're organising socials for London & you know what? you won't always get it right nor can you please everyone.

Some great advice given on this thread & I for one wouldn't feel comfortable attending a social that excluded single men.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I would think that a social is for everyone.

After all the forums are always saying to guys to find a local social to get themselves known.

You could always cap the numbers if you are concerned.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I am very much inclined to say that it isn't a social if 1) there are attendance limits, and 2) certain categories of people are barred from going (like single guys in the example given). Socials are in a public area and should rightly be a free-for-all for everyone to mingle and get to know new people. I wouldn't go to a social that excludes single men (because I wouldn't be able to get in anyway) and I wouldn't go to that social even if the organisers opened up the lists for single men again because I'd be right pissed off that they've wanted to cut out an entire segment of the Fab population just to appease some couples who are too touchy about single males just because they have negative impressions or stereotypes beforehand! "

I agree with this guy. I'm thinking of organising a Brighton beach social and I wouldn't dream of excluding anyone. Hopefully, though, the miserable sods who don't want single men at a social wouldn't attend anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *loucesterSocialCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

We've always allowed single men to our socials and find a lot of couples and single ladies want to meet them. We do ask single guys to book and on average about 1 in 5 actually turn up.... xx

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"I always think a social event should be open to all. "

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Single men rock, invite them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt attend a social event if single guys weren't invited to attend, the same as I won't attend clubs on single women and couples only nights. Not because i want to shag the men but because i think they should welcome all sections, and to be honest a lot of the time I get better conversation out of the singles that attend rather than couples.

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

"I wouldnt attend a social event if single guys weren't invited to attend, the same as I won't attend clubs on single women and couples only nights. Not because i want to shag the men but because i think they should welcome all sections, and to be honest a lot of the time I get better conversation out of the singles that attend rather than couples. "

I agree and as a single female I wouldn't want to be limited to meeting just couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you perhaps limit the number of single guys if numbers seem to be high for that particular group ? You'll get an idea won't you as to the numbers involved ? Treat the first social event as a test run. You can always Tweak it the next time. Plus you'll never please everyone whatever you do. We like single guys so we'd attend a social event with them there.,

Sarah

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By *he PlaygroundsCouple
over a year ago

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

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By *ackett1962Man
over a year ago

harrow

Can understand your worries, but why not limit the number of single ladies and single men?. It is after all a social.x

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"Can understand your worries, but why not limit the number of single ladies and single men?. It is after all a social.x"

If you are going to do that, why it limit the number of couples too

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By *ondonSwingSocial OP Couple
over a year ago

London

I think the thing is, most single men are more than willing to put their names down on the list or book than women are. And when there is a high ratio of men to women some back out.

I did my first social on the easter Sunday and had just over 40 on the list, only 24 showed and the majority were men. A lot of the women backed out as well as the couples.

So far on my profile there seems to be a good mix and I have allowed single men to come as a plus one of the ladies and couples as well as a mix of some guys I have invited including those that came to the last social.

It's all so complicated, but I hope that's a better way to go about it x

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"I think the thing is, most single men are more than willing to put their names down on the list or book than women are. And when there is a high ratio of men to women some back out.

I did my first social on the easter Sunday and had just over 40 on the list, only 24 showed and the majority were men. A lot of the women backed out as well as the couples.

It's all so complicated, but I hope that's a better way to go about it x"

I think you are doing a great job with it, Mae. Interesting that in so many instances its apparently the single men who flake out .... but is it usual in socials for it to be the couples and women ...

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

As most have said as a social it should not be an issue. I know the very successfull York social has single men although there are limited places for them and they have to be verified. Couples can also bring a single guy with them which we have done a couple of times, obviously getting permission from the organisers. As single guys are our preferance we would not attend if there were none, the same as we dont attend couples only partys or Couples only nights at clubs.

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

I would only attend if there was single guys there. I'm not looking for women or couples.

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By *exyFusionCouple
over a year ago

Near to you

[Removed by poster at 05/04/16 12:15:55]

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"I always think a social event should be open to all. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single men included

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd attend as long as singles are invited

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By *ickeyandmouseCouple
over a year ago

nr Alicante

"I think socials should be open to everyone.

Any OP, the social should be what you want it to be. If you want an event for everyone (which is the type of event we prefer to attend) then go for it.

-Courtney "

I ( male of a couple) totally agree with this posting. I am not insecure or intimidated by single men at all. Single men are so plentiful they become sort of faceless, so it doesn't matter if it's Brad Pitt ( ok that might be a step too far), a single bloke is a single bloke is a single bloke.

So I have no problem with an open social at all. The last one we attended had a couple of tv's there, no problem, not our thing each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...

Single men are so plentiful they become sort of faceless,

..."

I think this comment perfectly sums up the Couples Swinging Scene.

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By *rs DCouple
over a year ago

far

No tbh it will.be just flooded with single men

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By *loucesterSocialCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

"No tbh it will.be just flooded with single men "

I don't think that would necessarily be the case, sometimes we end up with more single females than men. As it's a no play event it tends to put a lot off. They certainly are never the majority. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was going to a social and there was no single men I'd be disappointed. I was going to go to one where 300 were attending and only 5 single guys allowed. That was more than enough apparently. No where near enough. Single guys have a hard time, if they can't even go to social then what are they supposed to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

I recently started to plan social events and just wanted to get a general consensus from couples and single women. Would you attend a social with single guys?

Some couples I've been speaking to wouldn't attend due to there being single men in attendance.

I've now put up an event that's on the 23rd of April for couples and single women only.

And have had some people who would have gone, but due to the lack of single men, were not interested.

I understand it's a Social so no play is involved. For those couples that won't attend because of single men, do you think they understand that?

Shall I change the event to include men?

Thanks for all your opinions xx "

I would only go to events where everyone is welcome.

You could have events for just couples and women, and some where men were invited too. You won't ever please everyone. Maybe try both and see which is most popular.

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By *ickeyandmouseCouple
over a year ago

nr Alicante

"...

Single men are so plentiful they become sort of faceless,

...

I think this comment perfectly sums up the Couples Swinging Scene. "

So what is a "Couples swinging scene"? Just because we don't embrace single guys in our play. Plenty couples do, plenty don't.Simple.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I've attended a few socials .. some had single guy limits others didn't, for every person that might not go because a demographic was allowed others would because they were...

Chat to the organisers of other socials they might be able to offer some advice op..

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

We're not looking to meet single guys but we've happily chatted to several at clubs in the bar or in the hottub and also written varis for them after.

I think it's very hard for guys to get an opening (so to speak) on fab so face to face is going to be the best platform. You can judge their character and see if they can actually human in a social setting. On fab you're mostly waiting for the insults or dick pics to start.

So yes! Socials for all!

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