FabSwingers.com forum: Spotting a timewaster

By *anLondon OP Man
over a year ago

London

For anyone that's been on here a while, timewasters are one of the unavoidable stumbling blocks to getting your rocks off.

Luckily, it's only happened a few times to me; a last minute cancellation or a disappearing profile when it gets around time to organize the exact details of a meet.

My general rules are that I won't contact:

Any person who has been on here longer than three months without a verification from another user.

Any new 'couple' without a photo verification.

Anyone without a verification from another person but would like to try something kinky for the first time. (I've found for this, a photo verification isn't enough.)

How do you spot potential timewasters?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anLondon OP Man
over a year ago

London

On a side note, people often wonder why people pretend that they want to meet up when they aren't serious. My two cents is that they get turned on by the fantasy of a meet, but don't have the opportunity or confidence to actually do it.

I'm guessing that's why single guys pretend to be couples; so that they can converse and sexually engage with couples that otherwise wouldn't be interested.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have fake boobies

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just trust your instincts, a rigid criteria won't work

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

When they ask for an email address... or when they want you to keep sending pic after pic and i get none back.

Verifications for me personally dont give me a basis for timewasters but we all have our own experiences of veris and equally our own definitions of time wasters.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We like to think we pretty good at it but having a party tonight started with 17 couples now down to 9 lol all lame excuses lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

someone may have joined, not really used site until a few month down the road and have no verifications.

i would never base a meet on verifications as they are all rosey

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use the force

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ayone who wants to talk about 'what we'll be getting up to on the meet'. usually just want dirty chat.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't think there are a set of rules, we've had someone we met socially three times cancel on us at the last minute and people we've barely spoken to turn up. We only class our time as having been wasted if a meet doesn't turn up and that hasn't happened (yet

) or if we all turn up and the people we meet have grossly misrepresented themselves.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

Anyone who goes off radar several days before and doesn't answer to a confirmation text on the day of the meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I usually meet people in their house and they've always been there before me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I been on here over a year and it only recently that some people I have messaged have actually spoken but as most in area not looking for ages between 45 and 50 not been able to set meets but that not make me a time waster just a realist, I accept it and move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I usually meet people in their house and they've always been there before me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

There isn't a fool proof way of avoiding 'timewasters'.

We just go with our gut instinct and it hasn't led us far wrong.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *angbang junkieCouple
over a year ago

Ilkeston

That's all a bit long winded, they usually just stick out a fucking mile to us....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Face pictures are a big one, if they don't have them even in private or send any to you that don't delete, it's a massive flag.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icky_tvLondonTV/TS
over a year ago

london

A dowsing rod?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gut instinct. ..the bigger your gut the less time wasters your will encounter

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I can usually tell by the way the conversation goes when swapping messages. If a guy starts wanting sex talk then he aint going to meet - he just wants a wank.

However, that's not my definition of a time waster. I'm online anyway, so my time isn't being wasted. A true time waster is someone who arranges a meet then doesn't turn up. Unfortunately even verifications don't prevent that. They're just tossers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no verifications so I'm fake

yayyy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I have no verifications so I'm fake

yayyy"

You may be fake but at least you're not wasting anybody's time....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

An unverified guy recently told me I was fake and a timewaster because I didn't want to meet him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eendeeCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

We seem to have found that the site as got worse for time wasters and false profiles over last cpl of years and the site seems to be attracting a lot of wannadoes who don't end up doing !!! but unfortunately it's not easy to spot these people X we just keep hanging in there and hope to be lucky x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago

not far from you..

I was just told I was a "time waster"in a message received today..really I have verifications!..where's yours??..I told him...boosh!....??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I was just told I was a "time waster"in a message received today..really I have verifications!..where's yours??..I told him...boosh!....??"

"Timewaster" is almost as meaningless as "genuine"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We seem to have found that the site as got worse for time wasters and false profiles over last cpl of years and the site seems to be attracting a lot of wannadoes who don't end up doing !!! but unfortunately it's not easy to spot these people X we just keep hanging in there and hope to be lucky x"

I've found this too. It seems some are willing to verify profiles knowing they are fake. I've also noticed the number of fake photos being uploaded (including ones with water marks from the website they've taken them from) has increased.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvy_bi_honeyWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

'Single' women profiles annoy me, that when you start reading through they will only meet with their master / boyfriend / husband present..... Ummmmm.... That makes you a couple!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eendeeCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

"'Single' women profiles annoy me, that when you start reading through they will only meet with their master / boyfriend / husband present..... Ummmmm.... That makes you a couple!!!

So true!! X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

" It seems some are willing to verify profiles knowing they are fake. "

You may be right but I'm curious to know how you know that...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

"I was just told I was a "time waster"in a message received today..really I have verifications!..where's yours??..I told him...boosh!....??

"Timewaster" is almost as meaningless as "genuine""

Ah yes, but what about the genuine timewasters?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My rules of thumb...

1.) Anyone that doesn't have a single public profile pic but demands 'a clear face pic' must be sent on the first message.

2.) Profiles that can't afford more than one line on the 'about me section'

3.) No verifications after 3 months.

4.) Professional looking photos are always to be wary of.

5.) Those that know how to be a site supporter/upload pics as soon as they join but claim to be 'new' here.

And unfortunately anyone ever so slightly hot seems to be a waste of time too!...

lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"My rules of thumb...

1.) Anyone that doesn't have a single public profile pic but demands 'a clear face pic' must be sent on the first message.

2.) Profiles that can't afford more than one line on the 'about me section'

3.) No verifications after 3 months.

4.) Professional looking photos are always to be wary of.

5.) Those that know how to be a site supporter/upload pics as soon as they join but claim to be 'new' here.

And unfortunately anyone ever so slightly hot seems to be a waste of time too!...

lol.

I don't see that any of those criteria clearly indicate timewasters...

A good female friend of mine on the site ticks all those boxes and is far from being a timewaster

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me a timewaster is someone who doesn't turn up. N I've not yet found I garantted way of spoting them but I have found resecntly that if you ain't up for meeting straight away the men im talking to seam to get bored. And tbh that's there loss.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My rules of thumb...

1.) Anyone that doesn't have a single public profile pic but demands 'a clear face pic' must be sent on the first message.

2.) Profiles that can't afford more than one line on the 'about me section'

3.) No verifications after 3 months.

4.) Professional looking photos are always to be wary of.

5.) Those that know how to be a site supporter/upload pics as soon as they join but claim to be 'new' here.

And unfortunately anyone ever so slightly hot seems to be a waste of time too!...

lol.

I don't see that any of those criteria clearly indicate timewasters...

A good female friend of mine on the site ticks all those boxes and is far from being a timewaster"

And you've not verified each other?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"My rules of thumb...

1.) Anyone that doesn't have a single public profile pic but demands 'a clear face pic' must be sent on the first message.

2.) Profiles that can't afford more than one line on the 'about me section'

3.) No verifications after 3 months.

4.) Professional looking photos are always to be wary of.

5.) Those that know how to be a site supporter/upload pics as soon as they join but claim to be 'new' here.

And unfortunately anyone ever so slightly hot seems to be a waste of time too!...

lol.

I don't see that any of those criteria clearly indicate timewasters...

A good female friend of mine on the site ticks all those boxes and is far from being a timewaster

And you've not verified each other?"

I've verified her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Oh lord

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I usually meet people in their house and they've always been there before me.

if not just break in and ransack the place. That will teach them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We like to think we pretty good at it but having a party tonight started with 17 couples now down to 9 lol all lame excuses lol "

This is when you will get the most of it....always invite:

(a) some couples that you already know and are happy to party with [even if not play with as they will play with others and add to the general atmosphere]

(b) at least twice as many "others" as half will not turn up.

Having said that I did this one time with a total of 28 people invited (expecting 20 or so). I ended up with 36.... Quite busy for a two bedroom flat!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elle2016Woman
over a year ago

...

"Face pictures are a big one, if they don't have them even in private or send any to you that don't delete, it's a massive flag."

Really?

I didn't think I was one...but by what you say...its an indication I am one as I refuse to post pictures on here.

Oh well...Im a timewaster....yipee!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Face pictures are a big one, if they don't have them even in private or send any to you that don't delete, it's a massive flag.

Really?

I didn't think I was one...but by what you say...its an indication I am one as I refuse to post pictures on here.

Oh well...Im a timewaster....yipee!!"

Stop wasting our time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just trust your instincts, a rigid criteria won't work"

You Will often end up excluding many who are not time wasters with a rigid criteria

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How come it's men who are considered the bulk of timewasters?

I have had so many convos randomly end, women randomly add you as a friend then not talk after, and even stranger things from feminine profiles

Oh no wait....

The epiphany...

What if... They are men.... Pretending to be women? To get pics? Or balance out the timewaster numbers?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"ayone who wants to talk about 'what we'll be getting up to on the meet'. usually just want dirty chat."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must have been extremely lucky as I've met some lovely genuine people so far.

Hope I haven't blown my luck too soon.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Impossible went to meet a couple last week got into the house to find a bisexual man no lady to be seen. Time for a sharp exit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inkyKellyCDTV/TS
over a year ago

Coventry

"ayone who wants to talk about 'what we'll be getting up to on the meet'. usually just want dirty chat."

Ah, you never know - I sometimes ask that in a "is there anything you'd particularly like to do, or not do" way, no other reason.

In my case, i'm probably over-stringent when it comes to 'criteria' to avoid timewasters but it's been pretty much 100% effective so far (at least when it comes to people not turning up when they say they would). Something TV- specific but as mentioned, first-timers are a bit of a risk, as is anyone who has their profile set to 'straight' and their Looking For bit just set to 'women'. Or if they've been here ages without a verification.

And 500 other things because I'm a miserable bastard

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been on the site a few years now so I am pretty cynical about fakes.

A good example is a couple who joined an hour ago and contacted us. I explained as newbies they would have to convince us of their credibility first.

I was perfectly polite but up front.

Their profile has disappeared within the hour.

As do 90% of new "couples" profiles.

Fuck wits. They clearly think we are as retarded as they are.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litheroevoyeurMan
over a year ago

Clitheroe

"For anyone that's been on here a while, timewasters are one of the unavoidable stumbling blocks to getting your rocks off.

Luckily, it's only happened a few times to me; a last minute cancellation or a disappearing profile when it gets around time to organize the exact details of a meet.

My general rules are that I won't contact:

Any person who has been on here longer than three months without a verification from another user.

Any new 'couple' without a photo verification.

Anyone without a verification from another person but would like to try something kinky for the first time. (I've found for this, a photo verification isn't enough.)

How do you spot potential timewasters?"

I must be a time waster then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *horehouseCouple
over a year ago

dissatisfied

"someone may have joined, not really used site until a few month down the road and have no verifications.

i would never base a meet on verifications as they are all rosey"
if they have a few verifications there is more likelyhood they are genuine and will turn up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"someone may have joined, not really used site until a few month down the road and have no verifications.

i would never base a meet on verifications as they are all roseyif they have a few verifications there is more likelyhood they are genuine and will turn up "

That is surely undeniable.

Whilst there are always exceptions the alarm bells are usually correct.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *fcouple3343Couple
over a year ago

hamilton

Mmmmmm food for thought. Maybe lack of veris is why we are struggling for meets. We are new to the site and definitely not time wasters but most won't consider a meet because we have too few verifications. Makes it all a bit catch 22 if your new. We have arranged 2 socials, one happened and was great, the other, well.... heavily verified couple who blocked us after arrangements were made!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I only meet people who say that they are atleast 115% genuine. That way, I can avoid the time-wasters

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I class a time waster as someone who arranges a meet and either cancels last minute or doesn't show...

I on the other hand always get accused of being a time waster, purely cos I lead a busy lifestyle and can't always meet at the drop of a hat... Takes a while for me to make time and people reckon that's me being a time water ...

So I think everyone has their own perception of that

I can't really spot them to be honest but luckily haven't had many

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We find that most people on Fab want a shag and they want it NOW with minimal effort involved.

We want more than that and therefore always take time to chat on Fab before arranging a "Social" meet in a public environment with no play whatsoever.

That said some still expect a leg over despite what we have previously said and some are no where near as described but still meet in the hope of getting a shag.

Amazing how people think sometimes, almost treated as second class citizens just because we are on Fab who think that the Wife will shag anyone - doh!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread