FabSwingers.com forum: Preferences...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello,

I have received quite a few abusive messages from women (and taken abuse in chat) for having "NOT IN TO BBW'S" written on my profile.

When I see profiles with "BBC ONLY" or "MUST BE 8 INCHES PLUS", I take no offense and am actually grateful for their preferences being made clear, so not to waste anybody's time.

Do you see anything wrong in stating that I'm not interested in BBW's? If there is a more polite way that I could word it, then I'm all ears, as I seem to keep offending people on this website and it honestly isn't my intention.

I also have no interest in reporting the profiles that become riled by it and send me abuse, as I see "telling the teacher" as incredibly childish and it's not in my nature to do so - I'm just looking to get what I am looking for across clearly without offending anybody.

Any thoughts/feedback will be hugely appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are as entitled to your preferences as is everyone else.

Why are you getting abuse? I have no idea, but you can't please all the people all the time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick with it...nothing wrong in what you are doing. Just some people with body image problems....they have the problem. Not you!

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

I don't see anything wrong in it at all. We all know what does and doesn't make us tick and people should respect that whether it's a single fem, couple or single guy.

Just ignore the haters and enjoy yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People get arsey when they think they're entitled to have what they want. Mostly women on here I've found tbh.

I find it helpful if someone states what they do and don't like makes it easier for me.

Tell them to go fuck themselves and have what you want on your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People get arsey when they think they're entitled to have what they want. Mostly women on here I've found tbh.

I find it helpful if someone states what they do and don't like makes it easier for me.

Tell them to go fuck themselves and have what you want on your profile. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People get arsey when they think they're entitled to have what they want. Mostly women on here I've found tbh.

I find it helpful if someone states what they do and don't like makes it easier for me.

Tell them to go fuck themselves and have what you want on your profile. "

..report and block anyone abusive also

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because women are holding all the cards. One rule for them and one for us lol.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

I would rather know what people like and don't like otherwise its a waste of time. I think more people should say what they really want on their profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would rather know what people like and don't like otherwise its a waste of time. I think more people should say what they really want on their profile."

That's my thinking. I think it comes down to low self-esteem, I've never looked at a profile where what they have been looking for has been described as the polar opposite to me and felt anger or offense, as I like to think that I'm comfortable in my own skin.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have seen this on some profiles so passed them by... The time it confuses us is when someone that states they are not into big women messages us and then they take offence when we decline due to the fact if their preference stated on the profile x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone gets abuse on this site at some point or other. You can either cry about it & rant, or just ignore & delete.

I prefer the latter - if someone finds offence in what I like then that's their problem, not mine. I'm never gonna meet these people so why care?

I personally don't meet bi guys, but that doesn't mean I see anything wrong with it, it's just a personal preference.

If you don't like bbw then so be it, it's your choice, it doesn't make you a bad person. Just enjoy yourself on here & ignore the haters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would rather know what people like and don't like otherwise its a waste of time. I think more people should say what they really want on their profile.

Wouldn't worry about why other people are the way they are. Just work out how to make the site more enjoyable for yourself, by reporting abusive messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about stating on your profile

"I don't want to offend anyone but neither do I want to waste anyone's time so I should say I am not looking to meet BBWs ( although I realise I am probably in a minority on here!)"

I agree the other comments - If they abuse you it reveals they have a problem not you.

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

The only thing I can think of is to simply remove that particular line.... are you contacted for meets by so many bbw that it's even necessary? I imagine not... so just remove it and if it happens deal with it then a little more tactfully.

Having said that there's nothing wrong with having your preferences, but you asked how not to offend. ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The only thing I can think of is to simply remove that particular line.... are you contacted for meets by so many bbw that it's even necessary? I imagine not... so just remove it and if it happens deal with it then a little more tactfully.

Having said that there's nothing wrong with having your preferences, but you asked how not to offend. ...

Sorry, I don't agree with that. Yes, before putting it up, every female who contacted me was a BBW and I was contacted by a few bisexual couples in which the female was a BBW.

I think removing it completely and then reading far stricter preferences on female/couple's profiles would be supporting a double standard.

Also, given that BBW's have taken offense when they haven't even expressed an interest in me anyway, I imagine the offense they'd take to being told after they have expressed an interest would be tenfold.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why does it matter if they get offended. That's they're own problem not yours. As a curvier girl it's definitely helpful to read that your not someone's type before bothering to message

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why does it matter if they get offended. That's they're own problem not yours. As a curvier girl it's definitely helpful to read that your not someone's type before bothering to message "

I agree, so I'll keep it up. This is why I disagree with removing it like the lady above suggested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good for you !! ..I wish everyone would put their preferences up that way we'd know not to message them if we weren't their type. ..who are /were you getting abuse off? ..just report, ,block and move on ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with it at all. It's ypur profile and you're entitled to write what you wish.

Report, block and delete them

I did see one profile that stated " no roly poly's"

which I did think was rather rude !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How dare you have preferences

As a man on here, you're supposed to fuck any woman that messages you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nothing wrong with it at all. It's ypur profile and you're entitled to write what you wish.

Report, block and delete them

I did see one profile that stated " no roly poly's"

which I did think was rather rude !! "

Yeah, that is rude. There was a black woman whose "preferences" I found quite offensive, it went something like - "black enlightened kings onky, NO PORK!". It's really not that difficult to just say - "sorry, no in to white guys" surely?

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

You should have it on your profile - it is your preference.....just like anyone else has their preferences on.

When I get fabbed or winked by a profile that has it on I ignore them because I am fat and they don't want to meet chubs - I also tell them that if they message

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By *anther and gothic angelCouple
over a year ago

fairy land

Maybe it's the fact it's the 1st line on your profile and it's in capitals so it seems really aggressive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe it's the fact it's the 1st line on your profile and it's in capitals so it seems really aggressive. "

It does actually, I'll get that changed now. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's funny how preferences work on fab isn't it? Quite often on the forum there's posts calling others a bigot if they have certain preferences, yet in other cases it's ok to have preferences. As shag said earlier it's one rule for one and one rule for another.

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By *anther and gothic angelCouple
over a year ago

fairy land

"Maybe it's the fact it's the 1st line on your profile and it's in capitals so it seems really aggressive.

It does actually, I'll get that changed now. Thanks.

That reads better now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What about big ugly women?

(I may have a chance!)

Make sure you report any abuse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's funny how preferences work on fab isn't it? Quite often on the forum there's posts calling others a bigot if they have certain preferences, yet in other cases it's ok to have preferences. As shag said earlier it's one rule for one and one rule for another. "

I'm thinking maybe it has something to do with the way single men hugely outnumber women on here, making meeting ANY woman be seen as a bit of a prize, so if men are seen to be being picky, it cant provoke the reaction of "who does he think he is?! He can't pick and choose!"...

That's just how it comes across to me, particularly in chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's just how it comes across to me, particularly in chat."

Maybe but us couples get a fair bit of a moan for preferences too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The time to worry is when you message a bbw...and they reply with you trying to say im a bbw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We originally had "no chubby bunnies" written on our profile, apparently that's offensive so we toned it down a bit.

Everyone has a preference, makes it easier for everyone if its stated clearly in your profile so you don't waste your/anyone else's time.

M&M

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By *arehamMan
over a year ago

handforth

I am with you as to bbw's,they do nothing for me what's the point of meeting someone who you don't fancy,each to their own.

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By *rs DCouple
over a year ago

far

If your not into fat girls then its up to you.

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By *razedcatMan
over a year ago

London / Herts

People are entitled to preferences, and more of the time I think it's the manner in which those preferences are expressed that upset people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe but us couples get a fair bit of a moan for preferences too"

Sour grapes from people who can't accept that they aren't what you're looking for. I imagine you get it most from single men, as many on here seem incredibly insecure - hence all the "why are my measages being deleted?!/why am I not getting any meets?!" threads, predominantly posted by single men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you should see the abuse I get when I say I'm not into BBC or short people!!

*facepalm*

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

Isn't the whole point of the profile to advertise what you're about and what you're looking for.

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By *van ArdenMan
over a year ago

Coleford, Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire.

I agree Ellie Rose but some people are so up their own arses on here don't you think ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"you should see the abuse I get when I say I'm not into BBC or short people!!

*facepalm*"

Racist body-shamer!

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon

"Hello,

I have received quite a few abusive messages from women (and taken abuse in chat) for having "NOT IN TO BBW'S" written on my profile.

When I see profiles with "BBC ONLY" or "MUST BE 8 INCHES PLUS", I take no offense and am actually grateful for their preferences being made clear, so not to waste anybody's time.

Any thoughts/feedback will be hugely appreciated."

Stick with it. Its their stuff not yours. I would rather see it written on someone's profile rather then be told by message to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having said that there's nothing wrong with having your preferences, but you asked how not to offend. ...

Sorry, I don't agree with that. Yes, before putting it up, every female who contacted me was a BBW and I was contacted by a few bisexual couples in which the female was a BBW.

I think removing it completely and then reading far stricter preferences on female/couple's profiles would be supporting a double standard.

I've read your profile lovely - and the reason people are getting offended is that it's remarkably like many single female/couple profiles - ie you state exactly what you're looking for without flowering it up!

Single guys on here are expected to kiss ass at all times by many people - congratulations for Not conforming! I read your profile, realised you're unlikely to be interested in me, and moved on! Others should simply do the same! Xx

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

"I agree Ellie Rose but some people are so up their own arses on here don't you think ?"

As a girl who has very definite preferences and clearly has them stated on my profile I have been contacted more than once by people who feel they have the right to make judgements about it.

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

"We originally had "no chubby bunnies" written on our profile, apparently that's offensive so we toned it down a bit.

Everyone has a preference, makes it easier for everyone if its stated clearly in your profile so you don't waste your/anyone else's time.

M&M"

I like the chubby bunnies bit....sounds cute so I would have giggled and moved on....no offence taken at all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks, I'm glad you it that way.

I dont know where you got that I wouldn't be interested in you from my profile though. If you were based in London or the home counties, I most definitely WOULD be interested. I may even stop by your profile again when I get home for my after-work-wank.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Glad you see it that way*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks, I'm glad you it that way.

Ik - you're very welcome! The profile text is useful too if you can't sleep!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't see a problem. Everyone have there own personal presences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I appreciate the fact you state what you are looking for and as a curvy girl myself (prob bbw but I'm not keen on that name) I certainly am not offended. We are all here on fab too seak out what we desire not what we will settle for. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/03/16 17:42:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile, your preference.

I don't see anything to be offended over. Just block them and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We originally had "no chubby bunnies" written on our profile, apparently that's offensive so we toned it down a bit.

Everyone has a preference, makes it easier for everyone if its stated clearly in your profile so you don't waste your/anyone else's time.

M&M"

Can you say that with twenty marshmallows in your mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people would shag anything

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

There is nothing wrong with your preference or with anyone else's preference. Ofcourse, those who are excluded get their knickers in a twist. But sex is supposed to be fun and not a community service order

Instead of saying, "No BBWs", say "My preference is for fit or athletic women"

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

You're entitled to preferences the same as anyone else.

I would keep it on your profile as how it's worded isn't rude. If some people choose to get offended by it, that's their problem, not yours.

I would rather know in advance what people are looking for, so not to waste my or their time by contacting them.

Report any abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I certainly won't lose any sleep if I see a guy dosent like a bbw, each to their own,plenty that do lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think 'chubby bunnies' is kinda cute and in no way offensive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I certainly won't lose any sleep if I see a guy dosent like a bbw, each to their own,plenty that do lol

Precisely!

I don't see why every guy is expected to tow the 'all women are beautiful/desirable' line! If a guy is only attracted to women with big boobs, for instance, then I won't be of interest to him! Doesn't bother me at all! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If that is your preference then nothing wrong with having it on your profile. We actually like it when a guy states his preferences. Everyone is into something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a BBW and I've not got a problem if you're not interested in me! Everyone has preferences

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