FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Assertiveness vs pushy vs shy

Jump to newest
 

By *ikeC81 OP   Man
over a year ago

harrow

I am a chatty bloke and I like flirting but I really struggle to to ask people if they want to progress from flirting to playing.

I suppose as a single guy I always tend to be politle but subtle and if I am flirty it normally means I am intreasted in you but I really struggle to say either would you like to play or would you like to go for a wander something that should be really easy

Sometimes I get annoyed with myself and I was just wondering if you could see someone was flirting with you would you wait for them to ask or would you take the bull by the horns

I guess sometimes I don't know if people are just chatting or is it flirting - I am awful at that sometimes

Just wondered what other people's thoughts are

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't help - shy....put it in six foot high letters and I might still miss the signs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

We're the same. We have no trouble approaching people and chatting but always find it difficult to ask if they want to get jiggy.

Think it's more not wanting to seem pushy and put people on the spot.

Which I know is silly as we can and have asked (eventually!) But it can sometimes take us a while to get there.

Much easier if the other couple / single are more blunt & forward.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"I am a chatty bloke and I like flirting but I really struggle to to ask people if they want to progress from flirting to playing.

I suppose as a single guy I always tend to be politle but subtle and if I am flirty it normally means I am intreasted in you but I really struggle to say either would you like to play or would you like to go for a wander something that should be really easy

Sometimes I get annoyed with myself and I was just wondering if you could see someone was flirting with you would you wait for them to ask or would you take the bull by the horns

I guess sometimes I don't know if people are just chatting or is it flirting - I am awful at that sometimes

Just wondered what other people's thoughts are "

A very good friend gave me this tip.

So you're chatting away and flirting as you do. Then when things get hot and you feel like you wan to take things further just ask "Would you like to look around?". Then just get up and pause for an answer. If they decline just be polite and say something like "Ok, cool I'll catch you later!" still being nice but leave it at that.

If they get up to follow then you're basically off looking for an appropriate place to play! Keep up the chatting and flirting while you wander around though. Maybe chat about what other people are doing, possible things you'd like to try.

Bear in mind that you may not make it to a play room before you start to have fun though!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iverpool LoverMan
over a year ago

liverpool


"I am a chatty bloke and I like flirting but I really struggle to to ask people if they want to progress from flirting to playing.

I suppose as a single guy I always tend to be politle but subtle and if I am flirty it normally means I am intreasted in you but I really struggle to say either would you like to play or would you like to go for a wander something that should be really easy

Sometimes I get annoyed with myself and I was just wondering if you could see someone was flirting with you would you wait for them to ask or would you take the bull by the horns

I guess sometimes I don't know if people are just chatting or is it flirting - I am awful at that sometimes

Just wondered what other people's thoughts are

A very good friend gave me this tip.

So you're chatting away and flirting as you do. Then when things get hot and you feel like you wan to take things further just ask "Would you like to look around?". Then just get up and pause for an answer. If they decline just be polite and say something like "Ok, cool I'll catch you later!" still being nice but leave it at that.

If they get up to follow then you're basically off looking for an appropriate place to play! Keep up the chatting and flirting while you wander around though. Maybe chat about what other people are doing, possible things you'd like to try.

Bear in mind that you may not make it to a play room before you start to have fun though! "

that doesn't sound like a very good tip to me if I'm being honest.

Firstly thats doesn't work if the OP was commincating via messages on here and wondering how to move from flirty to the next step.

secondly if the OP did meet somone from here, somewhere public to see if they connect, saying somthing like "would you like to look around" may not make sense to the other person and if they say they are happy where they are then you propose that he just says "ok take care see you" and walks off probably leaving the other person a bit complexed and confused.

I know I would be.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"We're the same. We have no trouble approaching people and chatting but always find it difficult to ask if they want to get jiggy.

Think it's more not wanting to seem pushy and put people on the spot.

Which I know is silly as we can and have asked (eventually!) But it can sometimes take us a while to get there.

Much easier if the other couple / single are more blunt & forward.

"

Should add its only in person that we find it hard to ask.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"I am a chatty bloke and I like flirting but I really struggle to to ask people if they want to progress from flirting to playing.

I suppose as a single guy I always tend to be politle but subtle and if I am flirty it normally means I am intreasted in you but I really struggle to say either would you like to play or would you like to go for a wander something that should be really easy

Sometimes I get annoyed with myself and I was just wondering if you could see someone was flirting with you would you wait for them to ask or would you take the bull by the horns

I guess sometimes I don't know if people are just chatting or is it flirting - I am awful at that sometimes

Just wondered what other people's thoughts are

A very good friend gave me this tip.

So you're chatting away and flirting as you do. Then when things get hot and you feel like you wan to take things further just ask "Would you like to look around?". Then just get up and pause for an answer. If they decline just be polite and say something like "Ok, cool I'll catch you later!" still being nice but leave it at that.

If they get up to follow then you're basically off looking for an appropriate place to play! Keep up the chatting and flirting while you wander around though. Maybe chat about what other people are doing, possible things you'd like to try.

Bear in mind that you may not make it to a play room before you start to have fun though!

that doesn't sound like a very good tip to me if I'm being honest.

Firstly thats doesn't work if the OP was commincating via messages on here and wondering how to move from flirty to the next step.

secondly if the OP did meet somone from here, somewhere public to see if they connect, saying somthing like "would you like to look around" may not make sense to the other person and if they say they are happy where they are then you propose that he just says "ok take care see you" and walks off probably leaving the other person a bit complexed and confused.

I know I would be. "

Sorry. I just assumed it was a club situation. Ignore the post if it wasn't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iverpool LoverMan
over a year ago

liverpool

It may well be, in which case ignore my post

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard to tell really as everyone is different.

Some guys i really like and would fuck them there and then, others i'm not sure about but am keeping my options open because their a possibility, and some i'm not interested in at all and the conversation dies when they are interested in sex.

As a confident person i would make it obvious if i wanted to fuck someone, but as someone who doesn't like confrontation i'm not keen on rejecting people, although i obviously wouldn't fuck someone coz i was scared of rejecting them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Perhaps whilst flirting you could pose the question, if you were flirting someone and we're hoping to take things further what would you say ?

When they answer.....you just repeat it or say yes.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

If I'm in the mood it's always good to ask 'so what type of things do you like' and then you can find out if it's the same as what you're after. Because of the nature of the question, things tend to get flirty cheeky and sexy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikeC81 OP   Man
over a year ago

harrow


"If I'm in the mood it's always good to ask 'so what type of things do you like' and then you can find out if it's the same as what you're after. Because of the nature of the question, things tend to get flirty cheeky and sexy "

Oooo I am going to try that one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!


"Perhaps whilst flirting you could pose the question, if you were flirting someone and we're hoping to take things further what would you say ?

When they answer.....you just repeat it or say yes. "

Popping this in to my bag of tricks if you don't mind?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top