FabSwingers.com forum: polite rejections

By *ancingfeet OP Couple
over a year ago

Redditch

Hi, some advice please from relative newcomers. We have been in a few situations where we have found it hard to extricate ourselves where the dynamics are not right with another couple.

We love the social side and happily chat with lots of people and in the cold light of day a thanks but no thanks seems easy. When you've been chatting for a while and the other couple say shall we go and find a room or similar we find that quite a snub to them. So much so, one time we left the club early on the back of an excuse.

I think we have been stung by our first attempt at rejection being met with quite a hostile response by a d*unk lady.

So, experienced people of Fab, do you prefer a direct, thanks but we are looking for something different or another option?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As much as it can sting, I'd rather know where I stand. Otherwise, the situation is just ambiguous and I don't know whether to try again at a later time or not.

If someone can't handle being turned down politely, make that their problem, not yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We much prefer a direct, but polite honest answer.

And we are always sensitive when turning people down.

Afterall, everyone isnt for everyone.

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By *edallionMan
over a year ago

manchester

Just tell them maybe some other time as you're just relaxing and seeing how things turn out for now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We were at OP4F chatting to a guy, hubby went of to the bar for refills, another couple joined us, within 60 seconds the lady asked if I wanted to join them in a private room but not my hubby (guy who was chatting to us, they presumed I was with him) not our type they said, she said perhaps I could bring the guy at the bar (my hubby) as a replacement

I thought how rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking from experience, I think it always pays to be totally honest from the start, or it can lead to quite a uncomfortable situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Speaking from experience, I think it always pays to be totally honest from the start, or it can lead to quite a uncomfortable situation "

So a guy approaches in club we don't like the look of what should we say?

Hit the road jack

Beat it shorty

No white men please

Are you an ape, beat it

Sorry your not our type

Should we say this before or after we start chatting ?

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By *ancingfeet OP Couple
over a year ago

Redditch

"Speaking from experience, I think it always pays to be totally honest from the start, or it can lead to quite a uncomfortable situation "

Agreed - thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Socializing doesn't mean you have to play!

"No thank you" is never a snub, no matter how much time you've been chatting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A polite no thanks is just fine or get up and walk away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say " you are kidding aren't you ,seriarsely? " and walk away don't look back coz they're probably doing twos up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Socializing doesn't mean you have to play!

"No thank you" is never a snub, no matter how much time you've been chatting."

I agree with wasp hunter on this, it's much better than making up some bull shit excuse as nothing worse than being caught out after.

Reminds me of the time an older couple approached us we told them maybe another time as we were leaving but as we were on our way out we bumped into friends all the time we're both hoping the other couple don't see us

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By *ougarsandcubsWoman
over a year ago

Medway

I think If you like socialising find a good social network through certain clubs or socials or events and you'll find play would flow more freely when least expected .. There's someone out there for everyone ..

Some swingers go to play and are very specific and others prefer a softer .. no need to ask naturally happens approach.

From listening to friends that have played when they didn't feel comfortable and later regretted it .. a polite no is aways best .. Otherwise the person feels violated put yourself in their shoes !!.

Learn to read body language and then you'll get a vibe and you no not to ask in first place ... the signs are always there xxx

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As has been said, a polite no thanks is more than acceptable. Failing that " are you having a giraffe " normally gets the message across lol

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By *r.BlondeMan
over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

Had the wave a couple of times from couples when watching other couples, just waved back haha quite awkward though!

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

If people get aggressive/ nasty when turned down......

Well that tells the story, doesn't it?

Decent people will say " Pity, but OK, fair enough "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If people get aggressive/ nasty when turned down......

Well that tells the story, doesn't it?

Decent people will say " Pity, but OK, fair enough "

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

I'd be embarrassed about being knocked back and leave the person/s alone. I wouldn't ever dream of giving abuse under any circumstances. Even if they had been particularly rude or nasty, I may be impolite back, but never abusive. I realise I'm not for everyone and acting like a twat won't change that

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

[Removed by poster at 27/02/16 15:49:29]

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

We only play in clubs and find that rejection is never an issue - it's always assumed that people have their preferences as to who they play with and not fitting those preferences is certainly not an insult. It also provides the opportunity of seeing potential playmates before committing to a meet.

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By *howdown1Man
over a year ago

Wellingborough

ok while i appreciate not everyone is for everyone some couples think there mr and mrs beckham. ohh not my type. yet there have no manners. just because there a couple it seems its about them them them only. rather than mutual fun. i used to like the club scene now it seems so much of a disapointment.

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