FabSwingers.com forum: Very difficult to finally meet

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I find myself going in circles.

I start chatting to a nice girl, (which is hard enough due to the volume of messages women seem to receive on here).

They say they are interested, send me pics and then I try to carry on the chat to arrange a meeting and they read the messages but stop replying.

It's very annoying and I'm really not sure how I can break this trend.

Any ideas?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From experience if we have exchanged three messages and they ask for a meet we stop. Trust enough to have sex with someone for us takes a while of building a friendship it's not a transaction. Maybe leave off asking for a meet so soon get to know them and then you will have warmer response. Good luck x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"So I find myself going in circles.

I start chatting to a nice girl, (which is hard enough due to the volume of messages women seem to receive on here).

They say they are interested, send me pics and then I try to carry on the chat to arrange a meeting and they read the messages but stop replying.

It's very annoying and I'm really not sure how I can break this trend.

Any ideas? "

That will happen a good deal I imagine as the leap from pleasant chat to an actual meet is quite a big one and by no means guaranteed.

I would imagine you not being able to accommodate doesn't help, but it's probably a case of being patient and meeting socially

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have U thought about trying a club instead ? If new to the scene we would defo recommend, can be really helpful chatting face to face with other members of the swinging community

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

OP is it a social meet you ask for or a 'meet' meet? Some gals prefer a social first is all.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I try not to move straight to asking for a meet but at the same time this is a swinging site. Not really sure of the rules I guess.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't have a lot of free time so it's always a intimate meet I ask for but I'm never pushy about things!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I try not to move straight to asking for a meet but at the same time this is a swinging site. Not really sure of the rules I guess. "

There are no rules as such, buy you will most likely find a more positive response to the suggestion of a social meet first...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I try not to move straight to asking for a meet but at the same time this is a swinging site. Not really sure of the rules I guess. "

Swinging is no different than any other walk of life you have to have mutual attraction, trust and time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I don't have a lot of free time so it's always a intimate meet I ask for but I'm never pushy about things! "

Well you may like to consider that asking for an intimate meet instead of a social one may be regarded as being pushy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to make a woman feel comfortable about meeting you and put no pressure on them to do anything they don't wish to do. Expecting an intimate meet on a first meet probably puts some off as it puts unnecessary pressure on them. I can't say if I want to jump into bed with someone until I've met them face to face and I'm sure many women would be the same.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have chatted to people.. Been interested.. Then a few messages in they say something to make me not interested.. . It happens..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"I try not to move straight to asking for a meet but at the same time this is a swinging site. Not really sure of the rules I guess.

There are no rules as such, buy you will most likely find a more positive response to the suggestion of a social meet first..."

Agree

Although there are probably some women that might be happy to skip the social. Personally I never would know if I found someone sexually attractive until I'd met them face to face first first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have a lot of free time so it's always a intimate meet I ask for but I'm never pushy about things! "

Sounds pushy to me...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have chatted to people.. Been interested.. Then a few messages in they say something to make me not interested.. . It happens.. "

Exactly this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have a lot of free time so it's always a intimate meet I ask for but I'm never pushy about things! "

This quote seems to contradict your profile where you say you are looking for unrushed meets and like to get to know someone on an intellectual level so maybe when you say this the person is somewhat put off ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the comments people.

Surely it's polite to just say you've changed your mind though instead of being rude and suddenly stop talking.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the comments people.

Surely it's polite to just say you've changed your mind though instead of being rude and suddenly stop talking. "

Life on here bud, get used to it. Some blokes send abuse for it so women don't say to avoid this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the comments people.

Surely it's polite to just say you've changed your mind though instead of being rude and suddenly stop talking. "

But they may see it as impolite that you've asked to just meet for sex, without a social first. Unnecessary pressure if you ask me. I know I would and I'd react in exactly the same way by just ignoring and moving on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks for the comments people.

Surely it's polite to just say you've changed your mind though instead of being rude and suddenly stop talking.

Ok here's an example.

She said she was up for a meet, told me things she enjoyed in the bedroom and then suddenly nothing when I said ok shall we arrange something.

To me that's just a tease.

Was I wrong to try and arrange something?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the comments people.

Surely it's polite to just say you've changed your mind though instead of being rude and suddenly stop talking.

Ok here's an example.

She said she was up for a meet, told me things she enjoyed in the bedroom and then suddenly nothing when I said ok shall we arrange something.

To me that's just a tease.

Was I wrong to try and arrange something? "

It was a bloke

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"Thanks for the comments people.

Surely it's polite to just say you've changed your mind though instead of being rude and suddenly stop talking.

Ok here's an example.

She said she was up for a meet, told me things she enjoyed in the bedroom and then suddenly nothing when I said ok shall we arrange something.

To me that's just a tease.

Was I wrong to try and arrange something?

It was a bloke

Quite probably yes.

It happened to me two or three times in my first year on the site but I got wise to signals, particularly descriptions of preferred positions etc., and realised it was a bloke.

A request for a phone conversation usually sorts out the fakes who then vanish like morning mist and go UNLOS.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *manda63Woman
over a year ago

Southampton

"I don't have a lot of free time so it's always a intimate meet I ask for but I'm never pushy about things! "

Sounds pushy. at least you are getting some messages. We wouldn't meet anyone unless it was socially first and we don't have a lot of free time either

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the comments people.

Surely it's polite to just say you've changed your mind though instead of being rude and suddenly stop talking.

Ok here's an example.

She said she was up for a meet, told me things she enjoyed in the bedroom and then suddenly nothing when I said ok shall we arrange something.

To me that's just a tease.

Was I wrong to try and arrange something? "

there are a lot of timewsters on here, both men and women. I wouldn't bother analysing it..just move on...you are bound to get lucky at some point just by the law of averages ....and its not pushy if that's what the other person says that's what they are also looking for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the comments people.

Surely it's polite to just say you've changed your mind though instead of being rude and suddenly stop talking. "

You sound pushy and are now blaming your lack of success on others. Clear enough to me why you can't get a meet on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks for the comments people.

Surely it's polite to just say you've changed your mind though instead of being rude and suddenly stop talking.

You sound pushy and are now blaming your lack of success on others. Clear enough to me why you can't get a meet on here."

How exactly is it pushy if I'm talking about sex with them and they are sending all the right signals?

I'm not blaming anything I'm simply asking for others input. That may have experienced the same thing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for the comments people.

Surely it's polite to just say you've changed your mind though instead of being rude and suddenly stop talking.

You sound pushy and are now blaming your lack of success on others. Clear enough to me why you can't get a meet on here.

How exactly is it pushy if I'm talking about sex with them and they are sending all the right signals?

I'm not blaming anything I'm simply asking for others input. That may have experienced the same thing. "

Simple, don't talk dirty, leave it for the social, it builds up the excitement. To say to a woman you want a sex meet as a first meet will, whatever you say, put some off as it is putting unnecessary pressure on them to have sex with you and they may not want to when meeting you in the flesh for whatever reason. I expect nothing from a meet so when it turns to fun its a bonus. I also accept that on the rare occasion I get a reply, it doesn't mean we will meet, even socially.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a generalisation but a fairly representative one, on any hook up site.

Pretty much it's a given that ALL men on fab are after sex, and most don't get as much as they'd like to, many don't even ge the attention they'd like and don't get that women are often getting more attention than what they want.

Women are also after sex but are the ones being demanded of it mostly and not so desperate for sexual intimacy with anyone they don't know. This means men tend to push for sexual intimacy before most women are ready. This is also why when a 'woman' on here is sexual straight away it is thought they are likely to be a guy.

Treat women like people and not like sex objects. Most women tend to not enjoy being objectified, some do but not many. This means learn how to get to know someone, learn how to read cues from other people, learn how to be patient, learn how to make someone look forward to your time and company.

If you can't do the above then look for couples or singles who like fuck and go.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks to everyone that have taken the time to give an actual idea that could help. It is very much appreciated and I'm sure will be helpful.

Have fun people!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onnie and JohnCouple
over a year ago

WILTSHIRE

"I have chatted to people.. Been interested.. Then a few messages in they say something to make me not interested.. . It happens.. "

thats so true one wrong word..connie x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread