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Single women, how would you feel if...

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By *ivinefox OP   Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

You turned up for a social meet with a guy and he was in a wheelchair? I don't know if it's ok to talk about it on here but this happened to me a few weeks ago. He had a very good profile, with verifications saying what a nice guy he was but no mention that he was severely disabled so I really wasn't expecting it. He told me when we met that he'd broken his back 20 years ago. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest and didn't really know how to react. We'd even had a chat on the phone and he hadn't mentioned it.

We had a pleasant enough evening but I decided not to meet again as it wasn't what I was looking for. I felt really bad about it afterwards but also bit deceived as he hadn't mentioned quite an important fact about himself before we met. I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You turned up for a social meet with a guy and he was in a wheelchair? I don't know if it's ok to talk about it on here but this happened to me a few weeks ago. He had a very good profile, with verifications saying what a nice guy he was but no mention that he was severely disabled so I really wasn't expecting it. He told me when we met that he'd broken his back 20 years ago. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest and didn't really know how to react. We'd even had a chat on the phone and he hadn't mentioned it.

We had a pleasant enough evening but I decided not to meet again as it wasn't what I was looking for. I felt really bad about it afterwards but also bit deceived as he hadn't mentioned quite an important fact about himself before we met. I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand? "

I always mention that I am ugly before arranging a meet. It would not be right otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You turned up for a social meet with a guy and he was in a wheelchair? I don't know if it's ok to talk about it on here but this happened to me a few weeks ago. He had a very good profile, with verifications saying what a nice guy he was but no mention that he was severely disabled so I really wasn't expecting it. He told me when we met that he'd broken his back 20 years ago. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest and didn't really know how to react. We'd even had a chat on the phone and he hadn't mentioned it.

We had a pleasant enough evening but I decided not to meet again as it wasn't what I was looking for. I felt really bad about it afterwards but also bit deceived as he hadn't mentioned quite an important fact about himself before we met. I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand? "

Personally I think it only fair to have mentioned it to you so you could make an informed choice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is something that should be mentioned before hand.

It gives you time to make your choice and if you feel hes the right person for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd think that comes under the category of something to mention

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

I've met two guys in wheelchairs from here. But I've known from the pics on their profiles, was never sprung upon me

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

It's the kind of thing I'd expect someone to tell me. Probably wouldn't make a difference to me but it's nice to know. Maybe he was scared of rejection, but it's almost as bad as using different pics to get a meet as you are scared of rejection

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've been on here long enough to know the value of verifications! No verification, no meet, social or otherwise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose none of us advertise our bad points on here (obviously, I am perfect, like everyone else reading this!)

It is hard enough to get even a social meet on here as a single male, so you wouldn't want to reduce your chances by stating something that might put someone off. Poor chap was hoping you could see beyond the disability and the wheelchair.

But yes, it would still surprise me if the person I was meeting had omitted to mention it. Would it put me off? No, not on its own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh god wish I never opened this thread. Honestly if I met a handsome guy with a dick that still worked and he was in a wheelchair it would open up a whole can of worms and fetishes I have that I don't feel I can discuss.

It wouldn't put me off though, but to answer your question, yes it should've been mentioned before meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's better to be honest, no point in trying to be dishonest about, a disability, size,age,etc, because you get found out if you meet,I've met a few that say they are non smokers, but they do lol,another said he was 6ft 2, he was so short I could pat him.on his head

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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago

Southampton


"You turned up for a social meet with a guy and he was in a wheelchair? I don't know if it's ok to talk about it on here but this happened to me a few weeks ago. He had a very good profile, with verifications saying what a nice guy he was but no mention that he was severely disabled so I really wasn't expecting it. He told me when we met that he'd broken his back 20 years ago. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest and didn't really know how to react. We'd even had a chat on the phone and he hadn't mentioned it.

We had a pleasant enough evening but I decided not to meet again as it wasn't what I was looking for. I felt really bad about it afterwards but also bit deceived as he hadn't mentioned quite an important fact about himself before we met. I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand? "

He should have mentioned it yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You've been on here long enough to know the value of verifications! No verification, no meet, social or otherwise! "

She said he had veris

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By *ivinefox OP   Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

He did have veris from pp he'd met in clubs who all said he was a nice guy. No mention of his disability. I just felt disappointed really and shocked as it just wasn't what I was expecting! He knew what he had done as he said, 'I know it's a bit of a shock but you did say you wanted an intellectual connection '

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Wow! That definitely should have been mentioned beforehand.

Fair play to him though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You've been on here long enough to know the value of verifications! No verification, no meet, social or otherwise!

She said he had veris"

My bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He did have veris from pp he'd met in clubs who all said he was a nice guy. No mention of his disability. I just felt disappointed really and shocked as it just wasn't what I was expecting! He knew what he had done as he said, 'I know it's a bit of a shock but you did say you wanted an intellectual connection ' "

Hmmm, difficult one, having met him, did you verify him? if you did, did you mention the unmentionable?

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By *herryhott1Man
over a year ago

Cork

Yeah should have been mentioned beforehand. When the chips are down u gotta be able to come clean about anything.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

Yes he should have mentioned it. It wouldn't put me off, but is unfair to spring it on you on the day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been known to 'warn' people that I sometimes wear glasses instead of contact lenses in case they're anti-specs!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was in a wheelchair I'd have to mention it

I don't think I would like any sort of negative response if it shocked some one who wasn't expecting it

I think he was brave to do what he did,maybe he's had a lot of knockbacks because he's mentioned it before a meet

Maybe he doesn't see it as any sort of problem so didn't think it worth mentioning

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I would of felt exactly the same as you and he definitely should of mentioned it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think he should have told you in advance. I met a guy ages ago who had shattered part of his spine and walked with a stick - it wasn't a problem at all because he'd told me about it quite early on and could answer any questions I had about how it would affect the sex, which I probably wouldn't have been comfortable about if I'd been caught off guard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be annoyed that he hadn't mentioned it. It would depend on what happened next as to what I would do after that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm on the fence about this. Why should he mention it? At what point does being differently abled become something you need to mention before a meet, is one walking stick ok to keep quiet about but two something that needs to be declared, at what level of visual or hearing impairment should we let people know before we meet?

I don't know the answers.

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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago

Southampton


"He did have veris from pp he'd met in clubs who all said he was a nice guy. No mention of his disability. I just felt disappointed really and shocked as it just wasn't what I was expecting! He knew what he had done as he said, 'I know it's a bit of a shock but you did say you wanted an intellectual connection ' "

Shame he didn't verify you imho

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow


"I've been known to 'warn' people that I sometimes wear glasses instead of contact lenses in case they're anti-specs! "

Yeah that confused me HH last weekend I was expecting you in glasses and saw you in contacts

Lol I might upload a photo of me in glasses just to confuse people as I don't normally wear them only for cinema and when I try to look clever

Going back to the wheelchair I would want someone to tell me beforehand as I think it would be important

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You turned up for a social meet with a guy and he was in a wheelchair? I don't know if it's ok to talk about it on here but this happened to me a few weeks ago. He had a very good profile, with verifications saying what a nice guy he was but no mention that he was severely disabled so I really wasn't expecting it. He told me when we met that he'd broken his back 20 years ago. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest and didn't really know how to react. We'd even had a chat on the phone and he hadn't mentioned it.

We had a pleasant enough evening but I decided not to meet again as it wasn't what I was looking for. I felt really bad about it afterwards but also bit deceived as he hadn't mentioned quite an important fact about himself before we met. I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand? "

It would make a difference to me.

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage


"He did have veris from pp he'd met in clubs who all said he was a nice guy. No mention of his disability. I just felt disappointed really and shocked as it just wasn't what I was expecting! He knew what he had done as he said, 'I know it's a bit of a shock but you did say you wanted an intellectual connection '

Shame he didn't verify you imho "

She was verified a week ago, i would guess its from him.

I think it should been mentioned prior to meeting, but equally its just a social, so I wouldn't be annoyed or put off, if anything I would feel dismayed that he didn't feel comfortable with our conversation to tell me

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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago

Southampton


"He did have veris from pp he'd met in clubs who all said he was a nice guy. No mention of his disability. I just felt disappointed really and shocked as it just wasn't what I was expecting! He knew what he had done as he said, 'I know it's a bit of a shock but you did say you wanted an intellectual connection '

Shame he didn't verify you imho

She was verified a week ago, i would guess its from him.

I think it should been mentioned prior to meeting, but equally its just a social, so I wouldn't be annoyed or put off, if anything I would feel dismayed that he didn't feel comfortable with our conversation to tell me"

My bad I didn't look at the veri summary. I think I'd be a bit put out if he didn't mention it previously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You turned up for a social meet with a guy and he was in a wheelchair? I don't know if it's ok to talk about it on here but this happened to me a few weeks ago. He had a very good profile, with verifications saying what a nice guy he was but no mention that he was severely disabled so I really wasn't expecting it. He told me when we met that he'd broken his back 20 years ago. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest and didn't really know how to react. We'd even had a chat on the phone and he hadn't mentioned it.

We had a pleasant enough evening but I decided not to meet again as it wasn't what I was looking for. I felt really bad about it afterwards but also bit deceived as he hadn't mentioned quite an important fact about himself before we met. I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand? "

Did you just have a social or still fucked him

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By *ongleggedfemaleWoman
over a year ago

Bucks


"You turned up for a social meet with a guy and he was in a wheelchair? I don't know if it's ok to talk about it on here but this happened to me a few weeks ago. He had a very good profile, with verifications saying what a nice guy he was but no mention that he was severely disabled so I really wasn't expecting it. He told me when we met that he'd broken his back 20 years ago. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest and didn't really know how to react. We'd even had a chat on the phone and he hadn't mentioned it.

We had a pleasant enough evening but I decided not to meet again as it wasn't what I was looking for. I felt really bad about it afterwards but also bit deceived as he hadn't mentioned quite an important fact about himself before we met. I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand? "

I met a guy in a wheelchair and he was great. He did tell me before and told me what he could and couldn't do. It didn't put me off meeting him but I was glad he told me.

This guy should have really but perhaps he thought he'd take a chance and get you there at least x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You turned up for a social meet with a guy and he was in a wheelchair? I don't know if it's ok to talk about it on here but this happened to me a few weeks ago. He had a very good profile, with verifications saying what a nice guy he was but no mention that he was severely disabled so I really wasn't expecting it. He told me when we met that he'd broken his back 20 years ago. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest and didn't really know how to react. We'd even had a chat on the phone and he hadn't mentioned it.

We had a pleasant enough evening but I decided not to meet again as it wasn't what I was looking for. I felt really bad about it afterwards but also bit deceived as he hadn't mentioned quite an important fact about himself before we met. I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand? "

Tbh its happened to me well he disclosed his disability as o. Was on my way to meet him. But in all fairness we had a great social meet and we did meet again for dinner and drinks a few weeks later , his legs don't work but his fingers and tongue do and his personality is second to none... He did agree though that he should of informed me earlier about the wheelchair but we have become great pals now..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think i might invest in a wheelchair...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Myself broke my back in my 20s luckily I'm not in a wheelchair but however I do have a 24" scar across my torso which I allways mention before hand some people think my scar is sexy personally I don't so that's why I mention it

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By *hoenixmanMan
over a year ago

Where men are men, and sheep are nervous...!


"... I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand? "

Strangely, I was told a very similar story to this on the first NSA site I was on about 6-7 years ago. A lady I chatted with on there had gone to have dinner with a guy she'd been chatting to for a while who she broke a rule for as he was at least ten years over her upper age limit anyway.

When he came into the restaurant.. on his disability scooter with his prosthetic leg strapped to the back seat.... things changed a bit. She had the meal, but wouldn't see him again either.

*****

I have a blind mate of mine. He's a couple of years younger than me and I've known him since I was about 20. He's a very talented musician and very confident in may ways. But... he cannot face his own blindness and expects everyone else to 'see' (no pun int!) beyond it. I am not the only one who has said to him that things will change for him (he's never had a proper relationship and as far as I know is still a virgin) when HE faces up to his own blindness - and stops expecting others to see past it...

I wonder whether some or all of this is what is behind this guy who the OP, and the lady in the other story I was told, both met? They want YOU to see past their disability, rather than them confronting it...?

Before you jump down my throat, I do not have anyone who is severely disabled in the ways described in my family so I can only come at this from my experience, specially dealing with my blind friend, so apologies if I have offended anyone as I know there are quite a few disabled Fabbers on here..

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"You've been on here long enough to know the value of verifications! No verification, no meet, social or otherwise! "

OP said he was verified.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion to have not mentioned it was purposefully misleading. (Mr)

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I think he should have mentioned it so that you were prepared; or could have cancelled if you wanted to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

His 'Height' should have rung alarm bells

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I would be very upset if a guy I was meeting neglected to mention something noticeable that might affect the way the meeting will go. There is a level of honesty expected between two people that may get naked together. I don't expect his bank account details, but I do expect to know whether I can go on rambles across the Yorkshire Dales with him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suppose none of us advertise our bad points on here (obviously, I am perfect, like everyone else reading this!)

n."

Actually - I do!!

I point out all my flaws very clearly so people can make an informed decision as to whether to meet me! I do this because I'd hate to see anyone's face fall when I strip off!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"His 'Height' should have rung alarm bells "

So he won't be 5'9" because he's in a wheelchair?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's just for a social then no, play meet then yes.

If it was me tho I would, I always mention I have had children so expect the marks that come with it!

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By *tumpy guyMan
over a year ago

dewsbury

ive always mentioned as it says on my profile and yes I also have verries so do my profile put you all off ?? as don't seem to get many meets now like I used to ??

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"You turned up for a social meet with a guy and he was in a wheelchair? I don't know if it's ok to talk about it on here but this happened to me a few weeks ago. He had a very good profile, with verifications saying what a nice guy he was but no mention that he was severely disabled so I really wasn't expecting it. He told me when we met that he'd broken his back 20 years ago. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest and didn't really know how to react. We'd even had a chat on the phone and he hadn't mentioned it.

We had a pleasant enough evening but I decided not to meet again as it wasn't what I was looking for. I felt really bad about it afterwards but also bit deceived as he hadn't mentioned quite an important fact about himself before we met. I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand? "

Well firstly, if I were to post something like this I know the forumites would be hating on me for posting something about another fabber. So far you're in the clear

Secondly, yes I think you have the right to make an informed decision about the people you meet, but maybe because it was a social meet he wanted a chance to explain or let you see him and not his disability. On the fence about it as I understand how you are feeling, but also how he feels too.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"In my opinion to have not mentioned it was purposefully misleading. (Mr) "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You turned up for a social meet with a guy and he was in a wheelchair? I don't know if it's ok to talk about it on here but this happened to me a few weeks ago. He had a very good profile, with verifications saying what a nice guy he was but no mention that he was severely disabled so I really wasn't expecting it. He told me when we met that he'd broken his back 20 years ago. I was pretty gobsmacked to be honest and didn't really know how to react. We'd even had a chat on the phone and he hadn't mentioned it.

We had a pleasant enough evening but I decided not to meet again as it wasn't what I was looking for. I felt really bad about it afterwards but also bit deceived as he hadn't mentioned quite an important fact about himself before we met. I wondered how other women would feel if this had happened to them. Obviously everyone has a right to a sex life, regardless of their disabilities but I think it's only fair to tell someone else beforehand? "

Yes he should of mentioned it.

I tell potential meets I'm fat so they are warned before hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I suppose none of us advertise our bad points on here (obviously, I am perfect, like everyone else reading this!)

It is hard enough to get even a social meet on here as a single male, so you wouldn't want to reduce your chances by stating something that might put someone off. Poor chap was hoping you could see beyond the disability and the wheelchair.

But yes, it would still surprise me if the person I was meeting had omitted to mention it. Would it put me off? No, not on its own."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He did have veris from pp he'd met in clubs who all said he was a nice guy. No mention of his disability. I just felt disappointed really and shocked as it just wasn't what I was expecting! He knew what he had done as he said, 'I know it's a bit of a shock but you did say you wanted an intellectual connection '

Shame he didn't verify you imho "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For all you know he could have been the real Slim Shady but you couldn't tell as he wasn't able to stand up !!!

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