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Wife fucked a guy solo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So after lots of discussion, the mrs admitted that whilst she now found swinging/group sex boring, she still fancied the idea of fucking a bloke without anyone other than her and him (The guy hadn't been decided..he was just a figure of speech)

Her explanation was that if she could pull, and fuck someone, she'd feel sexy as her age is something that troubles her a lot lately.

I can appreciate this of course and because I love her so completely, told her I needed a little time to get my head around it before deciding.

My conflicting emotions told me not to disappoint her and allow it because she could potentially do it anyway without my consent..Maybe..She does has a selfish streak at times.

Anyway, after chipping away at list of "Things i'd be comfortable with" I finally accepted the proposal of letting her do it with a married guy we know who we swung with years ago before he got wed....Safety in infidelity I guess.

It happened yesterday...I left the house and drove around with my stomach in knots, my heart in my mouth and a massive mix of jealousy and excitement..I couldn't wait to get back and reclaim her as mine..

It worked out he shot too early, she was too sexy for him to cope with and he didn't last so when i get back, he left sheepishly and I reclaimed her easily.

My problem is this...I'm suffering enormous confidence issues here, feeling belittled by her taking another guy when she has me on tap..Silly really I suppose but when i tried telling her how I felt, her responses made me feel silly.

She wants me to do something similar, have girl and then have her come back to tell her all about it (But seriously, I aint all that and doubt the opportunity would arise) I don't really want to do this as my goal from the scene was all about seeing her pleasured..Maybe if there was a camera in the room I'd not be so unhappy right now..maybe not.

I'm rambling..I'm hurting a little.

I'm just trying to get other peoples angles on this, hopefully by folk who have been here before and know how to get through it.

thanks in advance

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you really are having qualms about this then you need to talk about this honestly. Surely if you don't want it then she should respect that. If you feel that you cant trust her in this then you would both be best to walk away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I get that mate but the qualms are only mine..And I kinda feel like she deserves to try it as she's never had a guy alone other than me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't for the life of me figure out why you went ahead with it if you felt so strongly against it... And if your missus is making you feel silly for telling her how you feel about it that's a bit crap. In my opinion, everything to do with swinging has to be mutually beneficial. If it turned you on knowing she was playing away then great, but if not she should respect you enough to not do it. I feel for you and I hope you can both get through it. Although based on what you've wrote it seems as though she's being very selfish and you're not getting across how you feel... Talk to her. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why dont you combine the efforts.

She wants to pull, you want to see it?

So go out together and give her free reign to pull a guy.. you both take the guy back home/to a hotel where you just watch (as it sounds like its the visual aspect thats is the thing for you).

But tell her why you want that, tell her what turns you on about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't sound like fun to us, maybe you should try house party's then each of you can roam around playing with others in different rooms, then meeting up throughout the night to exchange your experiences .

The way you've explained what your doing at the moment she goes out and gets laid without you and you go out and get laid without her, not really swinging is it.!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So group sex is ok, but her on her own with a guy is different?

Don't quite understand that , but then I've not been in that position so don't know.

If it was a gf I'd ditch her immediately - but ur married ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guys..I've told her I want to watch, her response is that she'll feel like it's a show and not real.

I've told her I would do separate room for starters..She's not interested in meeting new cpls, all that vetting etc..

She wants to dive into hotwifing and for me to be fine with it..I don't mind the hotwife idea but it's just how it's been without my parameters..I feel helpless, out of control and just....shit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So group sex is ok, but her on her own with a guy is different?

Don't quite understand that , but then I've not been in that position so don't know.

If it was a gf I'd ditch her immediately - but ur married ?"

I love seeing her being fucked...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/16 09:59:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks guys..I've told her I want to watch, her response is that she'll feel like it's a show and not real.

I've told her I would do separate room for starters..She's not interested in meeting new cpls, all that vetting etc..

She wants to dive into hotwifing and for me to be fine with it..I don't mind the hotwife idea but it's just how it's been without my parameters..I feel helpless, out of control and just....shit "

Then you need to communicate that with her. She's dismissed your concerns and desires in favour of hers? That's very one sided and selfish. It needs to be for both your benefit or it wont work and will just foster resentment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks guys..I've told her I want to watch, her response is that she'll feel like it's a show and not real.

I've told her I would do separate room for starters..She's not interested in meeting new cpls, all that vetting etc..

She wants to dive into hotwifing and for me to be fine with it..I don't mind the hotwife idea but it's just how it's been without my parameters..I feel helpless, out of control and just....shit "

It's not wrong to want to be involved. I don't know the answer OP but here - have a hug x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Lol thank you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest when Ginger first started meeting alone was like you in 2 minds. The mixture of emotions swirling around was great and yet also not great. Horny knowing that she was being fucked but not knowing the details till she returned didn't leave me fully satisfied myself cos I too am a visual guy. You need to have a word with her and communicate how you feel because otherwise your going to end up an unhappy cuck whether you intend to or not. Nowadays Ginger will have pics taken which she'll send to me or show me when I come home or calls me which makes up for me not being there

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By *an2loveMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

Not sure if this would help .. We have separate flats (fungirl and me) ... Would it work if we met together and then swapped to separate flats and then met up again for chat and a drink

.. Or have I missed the point!! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another way is if you remain in the house when she meets but not allowed into the bedroom so that you still hear but don't see. Quite a turn on as your imagination is trying to fill in on what might be happening.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be honest when Ginger first started meeting alone was like you in 2 minds. The mixture of emotions swirling around was great and yet also not great. Horny knowing that she was being fucked but not knowing the details till she returned didn't leave me fully satisfied myself cos I too am a visual guy. You need to have a word with her and communicate how you feel because otherwise your going to end up an unhappy cuck whether you intend to or not. Nowadays Ginger will have pics taken which she'll send to me or show me when I come home or calls me which makes up for me not being there"

Thank you..This is a massive help

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thanks guys..I've told her I want to watch, her response is that she'll feel like it's a show and not real.

I've told her I would do separate room for starters..She's not interested in meeting new cpls, all that vetting etc..

She wants to dive into hotwifing and for me to be fine with it..I don't mind the hotwife idea but it's just how it's been without my parameters..I feel helpless, out of control and just....shit "

Your feelings about this are real and valid, not silly. You need to own that and tell your wife she needs to accept, understand and discuss. I soybean this harshly but you need to be a bit stronger in this or you're going to end up in a mess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So after lots of discussion, the mrs admitted that whilst she now found swinging/group sex boring, she still fancied the idea of fucking a bloke without anyone other than her and him (The guy hadn't been decided..he was just a figure of speech)

Her explanation was that if she could pull, and fuck someone, she'd feel sexy as her age is something that troubles her a lot lately.

I can appreciate this of course and because I love her so completely, told her I needed a little time to get my head around it before deciding.

My conflicting emotions told me not to disappoint her and allow it because she could potentially do it anyway without my consent..Maybe..She does has a selfish streak at times.

Anyway, after chipping away at list of "Things i'd be comfortable with" I finally accepted the proposal of letting her do it with a married guy we know who we swung with years ago before he got wed....Safety in infidelity I guess.

It happened yesterday...I left the house and drove around with my stomach in knots, my heart in my mouth and a massive mix of jealousy and excitement..I couldn't wait to get back and reclaim her as mine..

It worked out he shot too early, she was too sexy for him to cope with and he didn't last so when i get back, he left sheepishly and I reclaimed her easily.

My problem is this...I'm suffering enormous confidence issues here, feeling belittled by her taking another guy when she has me on tap..Silly really I suppose but when i tried telling her how I felt, her responses made me feel silly.

She wants me to do something similar, have girl and then have her come back to tell her all about it (But seriously, I aint all that and doubt the opportunity would arise) I don't really want to do this as my goal from the scene was all about seeing her pleasured..Maybe if there was a camera in the room I'd not be so unhappy right now..maybe not.

I'm rambling..I'm hurting a little.

I'm just trying to get other peoples angles on this, hopefully by folk who have been here before and know how to get through it.

thanks in advance

xx"

Sending hugs it's a shit situation you're in and not something I can comment on as I'd never share a partner, simply isn't my thing. Hope you guys can work it out but don't live hurting and being miserable, you're worth more xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't mean...not soybean

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not sure if this would help .. We have separate flats (fungirl and me) ... Would it work if we met together and then swapped to separate flats and then met up again for chat and a drink

.. Or have I missed the point!! Xx"

That was my initial idea of baby stepping into it..But it doesn't seem to be her desire.

She's actually getting a kick out being selfish...

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I wouldn't worry about it and use the time she's out having sex to watch a movie and drink beer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't mean...not soybean

"

Lol I'm sure you didn't

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By *limaxinnylonCouple
over a year ago

CHESTER

Hi, I met a guy on my own for the first time. Jon was very turned on at the thought but I wanted him to feel like he was involved too as he's the guy I love and I am just fucking someone else so I sent him pics and little videos throughout telling him how much I wanted him to come home and fuck me for being so naughty. There are enough single guys in fab and the right ones are respectful and if you ask them to video fucking you doggy to send to your other half they will

Reading your post however that she wants to pick up guys is slightly different that's a confidence and attractiveness thing for her as she wants to see if she still can!! If all she was interested in was fucking someone else as a fantasy fab guys would do! In my opinion and it's only an opinion she's searching for something else. You are a partnership and boundaries are set by you both, she could set up a webcam etc but again fact she feels like she would be on show but was happy to meet couples again says to me she doesn't really want you involved and wants this as her own piece of fun! long talks ahead for you both

Jayne xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Not sure if this would help .. We have separate flats (fungirl and me) ... Would it work if we met together and then swapped to separate flats and then met up again for chat and a drink

.. Or have I missed the point!! Xx

That was my initial idea of baby stepping into it..But it doesn't seem to be her desire.

She's actually getting a kick out being selfish...

"

I think it might be time to log out of fab an onto your relationship.

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

Sounds like swinging need to be put on hold and focus on each other. Expand sexually with each other before expanding with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't really give you advice, I haven't done what you've done. But I have met married women who's husbands have no idea what their wife's are doing. I think that she still loves you with all her heart but just wants that extra bit of sex. Let her do what she wants to do, you know that you'll be the one she'll be spending more time with, than the guy that's just fucked her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not been in your position OP .. But I have been the "other" guy.

It is a classic "cuckold" situation, but the cuckold normally embraces the conflict and turmoil as part of the experience...not sure if you are fully ready for that yet?

I have also done the whole...on camera thing. Few years back when I was up north..met a lady in a hotel near Chester. Her hubby was at their home in Brittany...watched us on webcam. Early afternoon session. I went to work...then came back for another session that evening!

It worked well for them.(and me). Feel free to PM me for further details.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure if this would help .. We have separate flats (fungirl and me) ... Would it work if we met together and then swapped to separate flats and then met up again for chat and a drink

.. Or have I missed the point!! Xx

That was my initial idea of baby stepping into it..But it doesn't seem to be her desire.

She's actually getting a kick out being selfish...

"

Sounds like enjoying playing the hot wife a little too and forgotten that she is a wife. Fantasy and role play are one thing but when feelings are getting hurt time to step back. Hopefully you guys can sort it out and find a path that works for the both you

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

You are here as a cpl ... you should agree on things as a couple . One thing hubby and I have always said is it takes 2 yes's for anything to go ahead ,but only one no to stop it ! You clearly aren't happy with your wife meeting alone so that's an end to it ! She may not like it but surely her priority is your relationship? If its not then you got much bigger problems than her meeting alone!

Maybe you should hide your profile and take time away from this as a couple . You need to look at boundaries you BOTH are happy with . If you can't agree then I'm afraid you need to stay clear of swinging. This is meant to be fun addition to your relationship, not a cause of emotional stress and angst.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The bottom line is that if you were a man trying to force your wife to accept you fucking a single woman then the forum would have lynched you by now.

It's not ok just because she's a woman. Everyone has boundaries and your partners boundaries should be the highest priority.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"The bottom line is that if you were a man trying to force your wife to accept you fucking a single woman then the forum would have lynched you by now.

It's not ok just because she's a woman. Everyone has boundaries and your partners boundaries should be the highest priority. "

Yep!

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By *rs PleasuresWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

This is about both of you. Your feelings aren't being taken into consideration. As someone else pointed out, you need to talk about this and I mean really talk.

We swing together but also I meet alone, but if I get even the slightest feeling my other half isn't happy then it stops. It's about both of us and always will be. If you aren't getting off on it then it won't work.

Hugs OP X

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By *rs PleasuresWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Everyone has boundaries and your partners boundaries should be the highest priority. "

Absolutely

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford

This is something we would never do, we like to share our experiences and our relationship comes first above anything else. It sounds like you want different things out of the lifestyle and its time to sit down and discuss what you both want out of this. If they are not the same things, then maybe time to take a break and just spend some time together rather than other people. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone, you've actually gone a long way in helping me.

It was a cathartic exercise on here that's given me focus that I needed.

I truly appreciate your points, advice and concerns xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my wife swing solo and to be truthful it look best thing ever for our sex life.we play dom and sub and I dom her ever time she comes back from a meet its great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks guys..I've told her I want to watch, her response is that she'll feel like it's a show and not real.

I've told her I would do separate room for starters..She's not interested in meeting new cpls, all that vetting etc..

She wants to dive into hotwifing and for me to be fine with it..I don't mind the hotwife idea but it's just how it's been without my parameters..I feel helpless, out of control and just....shit "

Don't be pushed...sounds like you're doing it because otherwise you think she'll do it anyway....that's no basis for swinging. If you're allowing all this to keep her happy why isn't her priority making sure that you're happy. Unless you have an honest and frank discussion and agree to terms you're both happy with I can't see how this will work. If she's going to cheat (as oppose to seinging) perhaps you need to rethink where your priorities should lie.

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

I have been the male who has slept with mens wifes...and although its horny ..I have never minded being filmed ..ive even held the camera. .lol

Im fully aware they have hubbys and they are THERES. im Purley there because they want me to be..as a fella joining a couple we (single men) will never get that soft intermitcy she gives to here husband ..we are just a spear cock .a dildo with motion. .lol..dont get paranoid ...we leave ..They love u enough to be doing what they doing with u...

Happy swinging ppl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The bottom line is that if you were a man trying to force your wife to accept you fucking a single woman then the forum would have lynched you by now.

It's not ok just because she's a woman. Everyone has boundaries and your partners boundaries should be the highest priority. "

If you are not wanting to do that... I'm not comfortable with playing separately so at the moment we don't. We do little steps. If I was pushed I wouldn't be able to do this at all x

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/16 13:54:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks guys..I've told her I want to watch, her response is that she'll feel like it's a show and not real.

I've told her I would do separate room for starters..She's not interested in meeting new cpls, all that vetting etc..

She wants to dive into hotwifing and for me to be fine with it..I don't mind the hotwife idea but it's just how it's been without my parameters..I feel helpless, out of control and just....shit

Don't be pushed...sounds like you're doing it because otherwise you think she'll do it anyway....that's no basis for swinging. If you're allowing all this to keep her happy why isn't her priority making sure that you're happy. Unless you have an honest and frank discussion and agree to terms you're both happy with I can't see how this will work. If she's going to cheat (as oppose to seinging) perhaps you need to rethink where your priorities should lie. "

pretty much what I was going to say but you saved me the effort! It's meant to be fun for all right? If you're not enjoying it, jealous, and you said yourself she had a selfish streak that can be destructive and - from the fact you're saying all this - it's already eating away at you which can't be healthy!

As others have said maybe a frank adult to adult talk about what you both want and agree parameters ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you everyone, you've actually gone a long way in helping me.

It was a cathartic exercise on here that's given me focus that I needed.

I truly appreciate your points, advice and concerns xxx"

There tis an temptation for swingers to go too far. If one has a high sex drive then one is going to get ones needs met irrespective of the feelings of one's partner. However, once said need is satisfied then the rest is just pure indulgence and not a necessity.

So in conclusion, it sounds like she's getting all the 'd' she needs and is being a bit selfish. Break it to her nicely though.

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

Sometimes swinging brings some realities home about the foundation of a relationship. I'm aware of a few cpls who split after one realised the others interest in swinging come before their relationship and their own sex life.

Swinging's fun but doing it with no self control or respect to your partner/relationship can prove to be a killer.

In contrast I've met cpls who's relationship was amazingly strong with unreal but expected awareness of each other. So much so him allowing her to wander off and partake in a little pastime/hobby once or twice a month was a norm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry not had time to read all thread. I had similar issues and we are now separated. She's off 2-3 times a week on her own.

Lots of emotions

Not good

Good luck hope it turns out better for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like you need to really talk about what your boundaries are. What you are both happy with. I know we are D/s but we still discuss what we are both happy with. To date, we've always met others together , that won't change unless we are both happy with it. Being honest , I can't see us changing.

Maybe there's a compromise you can reach, but talking is the way forward. If it's made you feel crap then it needs sorting. Swinging shouldn't be more about one half of the couple than the other . It should be a positive experience for both parties.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"So after lots of discussion, the mrs admitted that whilst she now found swinging/group sex boring, she still fancied the idea of fucking a bloke without anyone other than her and him (The guy hadn't been decided..he was just a figure of speech)

Her explanation was that if she could pull, and fuck someone, she'd feel sexy as her age is something that troubles her a lot lately.

I can appreciate this of course and because I love her so completely, told her I needed a little time to get my head around it before deciding.

My conflicting emotions told me not to disappoint her and allow it because she could potentially do it anyway without my consent..Maybe..She does has a selfish streak at times.

Anyway, after chipping away at list of "Things i'd be comfortable with" I finally accepted the proposal of letting her do it with a married guy we know who we swung with years ago before he got wed....Safety in infidelity I guess.

It happened yesterday...I left the house and drove around with my stomach in knots, my heart in my mouth and a massive mix of jealousy and excitement..I couldn't wait to get back and reclaim her as mine..

It worked out he shot too early, she was too sexy for him to cope with and he didn't last so when i get back, he left sheepishly and I reclaimed her easily.

My problem is this...I'm suffering enormous confidence issues here, feeling belittled by her taking another guy when she has me on tap..Silly really I suppose but when i tried telling her how I felt, her responses made me feel silly.

She wants me to do something similar, have girl and then have her come back to tell her all about it (But seriously, I aint all that and doubt the opportunity would arise) I don't really want to do this as my goal from the scene was all about seeing her pleasured..Maybe if there was a camera in the room I'd not be so unhappy right now..maybe not.

I'm rambling..I'm hurting a little.

I'm just trying to get other peoples angles on this, hopefully by folk who have been here before and know how to get through it.

thanks in advance

xx"

this is why i always say that in swinging there should be no such thing as "taking one for the team"......

if you this torn up about it

1) it should never have happened in the first place....

2) now that it has happened and you feel this bad... it should never happen again

and if the justification is "well she may do it behind my back anyway.." then she wouldn't be half the person you think she is anyway.......

in swinging we are always learning and evolving... and if it isn't for either of you anymore... take a break! or reconsider it... but time out may be the best solution...

if it is eating at you now.... what happens if it happens again.... and again....

resentment

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan

Shown her this thread?

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By *anillanomoreCouple
over a year ago

Chichester

What everyone else says really. You shouldn't need to agree to things that don't do it for you under threat of her cheating.

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By *r. and mis.jayCouple
over a year ago

Lancaster

"So after lots of discussion, the mrs admitted that whilst she now found swinging/group sex boring, she still fancied the idea of fucking a bloke without anyone other than her and him (The guy hadn't been decided..he was just a figure of speech)

Her explanation was that if she could pull, and fuck someone, she'd feel sexy as her age is something that troubles her a lot lately.

I can appreciate this of course and because I love her so completely, told her I needed a little time to get my head around it before deciding.

My conflicting emotions told me not to disappoint her and allow it because she could potentially do it anyway without my consent..Maybe..She does has a selfish streak at times.

Anyway, after chipping away at list of "Things i'd be comfortable with" I finally accepted the proposal of letting her do it with a married guy we know who we swung with years ago before he got wed....Safety in infidelity I guess.

It happened yesterday...I left the house and drove around with my stomach in knots, my heart in my mouth and a massive mix of jealousy and excitement..I couldn't wait to get back and reclaim her as mine..

It worked out he shot too early, she was too sexy for him to cope with and he didn't last so when i get back, he left sheepishly and I reclaimed her easily.

My problem is this...I'm suffering enormous confidence issues here, feeling belittled by her taking another guy when she has me on tap..Silly really I suppose but when i tried telling her how I felt, her responses made me feel silly.

She wants me to do something similar, have girl and then have her come back to tell her all about it (But seriously, I aint all that and doubt the opportunity would arise) I don't really want to do this as my goal from the scene was all about seeing her pleasured..Maybe if there was a camera in the room I'd not be so unhappy right now..maybe not.

I'm rambling..I'm hurting a little.

I'm just trying to get other peoples angles on this, hopefully by folk who have been here before and know how to get through it.

thanks in advance

xx"
I felt the same way befor I sat down and talked to my wife after our first 3sum because I let then just fuck without me I felt confused and bothered but when I talked to her she understood how I felt.Now were looking to full swap hope your wife could be understanding like my wife was sorry about how u feel.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"I'm aware of a few cpls who split after one realised the others interest in swinging come before their relationship and their own sex life.Swinging's fun but doing it with no self control or respect to your partner/relationship can prove to be a killer.

"

Yes this happened to me and it's not nice.

Op, show her this thread, talk to her, tell her honestly how you feel. If this isn't something you're happy with and she doesn't care/still goes ahead then you need to decide if the relationship is what you want. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shown her this thread?"

Fan of shock treatment are we? I think the discussion needs to happen in a face saving manner personally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh lovely, it's a really good start that you're so self aware of how this is making you feel. We're in a very similar situation. I (Mrs) do enjoy threesomes and group fun but I feel most relaxed when one to one with a guy. I guess because like your wife, I feel that I have to put on a bit of a show in front of others. I also think that with MMF, i'm constantly aware that I don't want hubby to feel left out. One to one I can enjoy the chemistry and intensity much more and just do whatever feels right. Unfortunately, we've found that I don't cope nearly so well as hubby does when things are switched around. We've now taken the decision that for now and possibly forever, hubby will only be playing with me. I realise the hypocrisy of this but it's working for us. That doesn't mean that hubby doesn't struggle at times and that I don't struggle with the guilt because we absolutely do. It's peaks and troughs. He finds as long as he doesn't cum while i'm out, he gets a kick out of imagining me with other men and then reclaiming me when I get back home. There are many who will be quick to judge or to suggest that she shouldn't be doing it, however, it's something that only you two can decide. Talk, talk and talk some more, the conversations will be hard but I promise you, if she's anything like me then it will make her love you even more for being such an amazing and selfless husband. xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What a fantastic reply. Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you talked to OP yet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi

We had a discussion last night where I laid down some rules about the possibility of continuing.

There will be no relaxation of my rules, but there can be compromises.

It wasn't heated, it was calm and loving.

I think we can move on from here positively.

Thanks everyone

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

That's great news you are working out together what you are are both happy with .

Communication, communication , communication keep it up and enjoy together x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No relaxation of rules, but compromises can be made."

Bit contradictory ain't it? Compromising on existing rules already is a relaxation of them.

I get all sorts of wrong vibes from your description of the situation. If she's married to you already what does she care about being attractive to other men still? It's classic hunting mentality here, she still thinks she's single and on the pull when in reality she should be basing her self confidence off attracting her husband's attention and desire.

It's up to you two if her hotwifing wishes get played out again. But this thread here is a classic demonstration of why I'll swing only when I'm single, and I'll never mess around with anyone's partner alone without their other half involved as well.

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

From our perspective swinging is about doing only those things you are both entirely comfortable with, otherwise it isn't swinging. If one partner cajoles the other into something it's tantamount to bullying. Any doubts at all don't do it is the way we see it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We started out with LOL meeting a guy at our home on her own and me at work but he had to agree to being videoed all thru... It took an adjust of mind set but was more than worth it, catapulted us in at the deep end and we still enjoy it today with others... Its about how it made her feel that was the drive behind realising that the other guys are an accessory not a replacement, the sex we have now is even more mind blowing...

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi

We had a discussion last night where I laid down some rules about the possibility of continuing.

There will be no relaxation of my rules, but there can be compromises.

It wasn't heated, it was calm and loving.

I think we can move on from here positively.

Thanks everyone"

Good to hear that you two been able to agree on how things should move forward so both of you are happy and guess the comprises will allow her to slowly take charge as to how she wants things to be but at a pace that suits you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the added guy who see's a couple regularly its such a bonus to be great friends with both hot wife and her lucky hubby....

Security in all ways and boundarys never crossed, he knows she's safe, they both enjoying her having a lover and she's free to stay as and when....

Wouldnt and couldnt work if they werent so in tune with with each others desire's

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As the added guy who see's a couple regularly its such a bonus to be great friends with both hot wife and her lucky hubby....

Security in all ways and boundarys never crossed, he knows she's safe, they both enjoying her having a lover and she's free to stay as and when....

Wouldnt and couldnt work if they werent so in tune with with each others desire's

"

Bang on with this....i am in exactly same situation as you mention. And it the best ever for me....i am blessed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh lovely, it's a really good start that you're so self aware of how this is making you feel. We're in a very similar situation. I (Mrs) do enjoy threesomes and group fun but I feel most relaxed when one to one with a guy. I guess because like your wife, I feel that I have to put on a bit of a show in front of others. I also think that with MMF, i'm constantly aware that I don't want hubby to feel left out. One to one I can enjoy the chemistry and intensity much more and just do whatever feels right. Unfortunately, we've found that I don't cope nearly so well as hubby does when things are switched around. We've now taken the decision that for now and possibly forever, hubby will only be playing with me. I realise the hypocrisy of this but it's working for us. That doesn't mean that hubby doesn't struggle at times and that I don't struggle with the guilt because we absolutely do. It's peaks and troughs. He finds as long as he doesn't cum while i'm out, he gets a kick out of imagining me with other men and then reclaiming me when I get back home. There are many who will be quick to judge or to suggest that she shouldn't be doing it, however, it's something that only you two can decide. Talk, talk and talk some more, the conversations will be hard but I promise you, if she's anything like me then it will make her love you even more for being such an amazing and selfless husband. xxx"

At least you realise the Hypocrisy of it.

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By *smfuncplCouple
over a year ago

WESTON SUPER MARE

Even in swinging we all have limits & lines that we feel comfortable with.

You should never do things your not 100% sure of. Each partner should respect the wishes of each other in what they are comfortable with.

You have tried this & obviously didn't feel comfortable with it so stick with what you enjoy otherwise it will ruin a relationship x

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By *abloversCouple
over a year ago

London

Being honest, this could be a slippery slope for you both. On the one hand it could make her realise that self esteem comes from within. We all want to feel sexy and desired by others but having sex with strangers may not empower her long term as she expect's. Your self esteem also seems to be very low based on your own description of yourself. This is not the time to share each other - swinging can be great. It can also leave you feeling unsatisfied, empty and cold. You need to work on your relationship with each other. She appears to simply want to have sex with other people and wants you to do the same so she doesn't feel bad - this potentially has disaster written all over it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite a good thread here and my pennyworth here is that you've only done this once and if you remember back to your early days of swinging with couples I bet you felt very excited with all sorts of emotions running through your head.

Isn't that the natural mindfuck you are going through of being a cucked husband you are going through, try to see it for what it is as surely that is one of the pleasures. It's sort of having your cake and eating it. You can't be a jealous husband and a cuck at the same time can you ?

Don't give up first time and just modify it a little.

Mrs N and I have tried this Cuck thing and we do quite like it, however she is very different in that she does not want to meet guys on her own even though I would be happy for her to do it. So the compromise we've worked out is when we have a guy to see us we'll start off the meet together and then once she has relaxed a bit she goes off to our bedroom with the guy and I wait around outside or downstairs. I Must admit I find that very arousing.

She enjoys some private time with the guy without me fussing around and I get to hear all the lovely sounds of her seduction. Also I get to peep in and take some lovely piccies like on our profile and then withdraw again.

There are no set rules to this hotwifing, cuck thing. Surely in a marriage you have to find someway to compromise so that you both find it mutually beneficial.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hilly has been on a few single jaunts. Frankly I could not sit still thinking about it when she was out on hotel meets. it was fantastic. We don't do so many currently but she only went off with trusted friends who I had met previously.

It's a really horny adjunct to swinging if you can suppress the destructiveness of jealousy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We've had some great conversations since my OP and we're now ready to go again with tweaks.

She can invite a guy back for me to watch or for me to join in and then leave them to it afterwards.

She can "get off" with guys (That's never been an issue) and as she's away on a Butlins weekend in Feb, she has her sights on a girl which i have no worries about but if she does get a guy at all..there must be pics/vids.

We're really very happy together and this has been a steep learning curve but thanks to everyone for their very helpful advice xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow. I'm in the same situation. It all sounds great and the first time it happened I had the same feelings.

Unfortantly all I can day is that after several times it doesn't make it any easier to swolow the situation and the thought of, why not me, I'm on tap. Obviously not good enough now..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's about finding what you both want from it.

We know now, and are happy knowing neither of us will be hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" You are here as a cpl ... you should agree on things as a couple . One thing hubby and I have always said is it takes 2 yes's for anything to go ahead ,but only one no to stop it ! You clearly aren't happy with your wife meeting alone so that's an end to it ! She may not like it but surely her priority is your relationship? If its not then you got much bigger problems than her meeting alone!

Maybe you should hide your profile and take time away from this as a couple . You need to look at boundaries you BOTH are happy with . If you can't agree then I'm afraid you need to stay clear of swinging. This is meant to be fun addition to your relationship, not a cause of emotional stress and angst.

Good luck

"

This

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