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Conflicted

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By *aeBabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

I'm conflicted with my reason for being here... I joined as a couple with someone I was dating off that fish site, but it didn't work out and due to the nature of our parting, I decided to "swing" by myself. Through my time here I have met great and not so great people, and have made some friends too. But I never wanted to do it by myself. I feel like being in a committed loving relationship that allows for indulging in the swinging lifestyle enhances what a couple already has.

But in my experience the type of men I'm attracted to and meet on fab or through swinging would never give a second thought to me as dating material. Yeah I may be good company, but nothing special.

Most of the messages I get from the fish site are from men I'm not attracted to and those I am attracted to either read and delete my messages or only want to shag..

Getting a meet only makes me feel better for a while, but I don't feel the affection or connection that you would in a relationship obviously.

I'm feeling really lonely I suppose, a little empty...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If it doesn't feel good...stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it doesn't feel good...stop.

"

Ask yourself why you're here. If you like the answer, good. If you don't...well, then maybe it isn't the right place for what you want.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hope you find that special someone soon x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps you're looking for a relationship in the wrong way? Of course, there needs to be an attraction between two people to form a relationship, but attraction isn't always solely about how someone looks in a picture, or sounds in a typed profile on a screen.

I hope you find your way soon though. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm conflicted with my reason for being here... I joined as a couple with someone I was dating off that fish site, but it didn't work out and due to the nature of our parting, I decided to "swing" by myself. Through my time here I have met great and not so great people, and have made some friends too. But I never wanted to do it by myself. I feel like being in a committed loving relationship that allows for indulging in the swinging lifestyle enhances what a couple already has.

But in my experience the type of men I'm attracted to and meet on fab or through swinging would never give a second thought to me as dating material. Yeah I may be good company, but nothing special.

Most of the messages I get from the fish site are from men I'm not attracted to and those I am attracted to either read and delete my messages or only want to shag..

Getting a meet only makes me feel better for a while, but I don't feel the affection or connection that you would in a relationship obviously.

I'm feeling really lonely I suppose, a little empty... "

Go on a real dating site

Match

E-harmony

Find friendship and love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Based on your post, is this the right place for you? This should be about fun & enhancing your life, as soon as it loses the spark I would suggest a break & a rethink.x

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By *ormalguy71Man
over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells


"I'm conflicted with my reason for being here... I joined as a couple with someone I was dating off that fish site, but it didn't work out and due to the nature of our parting, I decided to "swing" by myself. Through my time here I have met great and not so great people, and have made some friends too. But I never wanted to do it by myself. I feel like being in a committed loving relationship that allows for indulging in the swinging lifestyle enhances what a couple already has.

But in my experience the type of men I'm attracted to and meet on fab or through swinging would never give a second thought to me as dating material. Yeah I may be good company, but nothing special.

Most of the messages I get from the fish site are from men I'm not attracted to and those I am attracted to either read and delete my messages or only want to shag..

Getting a meet only makes me feel better for a while, but I don't feel the affection or connection that you would in a relationship obviously.

I'm feeling really lonely I suppose, a little empty... "

Don't put yourself down, everyone is special in some way. Judging from your pictures I am sure there are many people here who would view you as girlfriend material.

Try jumping on one of the date threads that are posted on here x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have what they call burn out. The only way to cure this is to take a long break.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Hold out for the right person. When we met on here, both of use though about how and where could or would it have got to. As a single I think its a tricky one. I have been on and off the site for four years, and found relationships of a sort along the way. Mr came along when I was ready for him and he ready for me. I also agree with above posters, and the thing that sort of stood out for me was the believe that you are not special (you implied in your first post). Don't ever think that about yourself. Take time to get to know and nurture yourself. I am not a white knight, just a woman with experience of taking a while to fond herself and I am also a mum who realises how important it is for all women, but especially young woman, to be self assured and secure. Good luck and it will happen...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm confused op Hun! Thought you posted fairly recently saying you had a couple profile on here with someone? Xx

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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago

Southampton


"I'm conflicted with my reason for being here... I joined as a couple with someone I was dating off that fish site, but it didn't work out and due to the nature of our parting, I decided to "swing" by myself. Through my time here I have met great and not so great people, and have made some friends too. But I never wanted to do it by myself. I feel like being in a committed loving relationship that allows for indulging in the swinging lifestyle enhances what a couple already has.

But in my experience the type of men I'm attracted to and meet on fab or through swinging would never give a second thought to me as dating material. Yeah I may be good company, but nothing special.

Most of the messages I get from the fish site are from men I'm not attracted to and those I am attracted to either read and delete my messages or only want to shag..

Getting a meet only makes me feel better for a while, but I don't feel the affection or connection that you would in a relationship obviously.

I'm feeling really lonely I suppose, a little empty... "

I felt like you are feeling, I didn't want to leave the site as I knew I would come back. I wanted someone to spend time with, friendship and to have fun with. I was lucky enough to meet that special someone who was willing to make a commitment and it's working out very well.

Just hang in there, that man you look for is out there, it took time for me but it happened. Good luck

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Like everything else... The things that you own, come to own you...

What you want is what the majority of the world wants...

Other people are at different phases in their lives and you never know exactly where they are, so sometimes, no in fact always, one person wants the other more...

Like everthing else in life this is just another thing to entertain you as you move through life...

Pick something you really want to do/see and go for it, you may find what you're looking for...

The best people I have ever know were all met in far off lands, under what seemed like a strange series of coincidences....

But the universe has a plan.

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By *aeBabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"I'm confused op Hun! Thought you posted fairly recently saying you had a couple profile on here with someone? Xx"

I did, but that fizzled out fast. Wasn't that great a guy... in essence he wanted to convince me to take one for the team... I didn't.

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By *aeBabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"Like everything else... The things that you own, come to own you...

What you want is what the majority of the world wants...

Other people are at different phases in their lives and you never know exactly where they are, so sometimes, no in fact always, one person wants the other more...

Like everthing else in life this is just another thing to entertain you as you move through life...

Pick something you really want to do/see and go for it, you may find what you're looking for...

The best people I have ever know were all met in far off lands, under what seemed like a strange series of coincidences....

But the universe has a plan.

"

Deep x

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By *ormalguy71Man
over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

Wanna get married? And runaway together holding hands skipping into the sunset

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm confused op Hun! Thought you posted fairly recently saying you had a couple profile on here with someone? Xx

I did, but that fizzled out fast. Wasn't that great a guy... in essence he wanted to convince me to take one for the team... I didn't."

Ah! Sorry to hear that! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps take a break from 1on1 meets and playing.

Attend some parties or organised group socials or munches and just talk and speak to people, see if you find somine relationship worthy

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By *uny1122Man
over a year ago

longeton

All people here r players ,do what u want to do ,try and I hope u will get soon ,wish u good luck xxx

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By *uny1122Man
over a year ago

longeton

There is some body for u maybe ur friend ,he love u but maybe he is not ur type ,we always not think those who love use r like we think about them who only play with us I was same like u and I loos those who love me I m lonly know ,hope its help u .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Defo think about taking a step back, delete your account, stop looking for love in all the wrong places and put your efforts into getting out in the real world and meeting new people, you usually find what you're looking for when you stop looking so hard for it. You seem like a really nice woman, I hope you find what you're looking for

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Regarding swinging guys not seeing you as "dating material" a lot of guys are here solely looking for sex. A great hypocrisy is that there are a lot of men who wouldn't date a girl who has had more than a couple of sexual partners yet want to have loads themselves.

Maybe you should try going to Dating events/nights as there are plenty in London. It will give you a chance to meet people in the flesh as opposed to on a computer screen. Part of the problem with Internet dating is that although it is very easy to meet someone it is also very easy to meet someone else (hence why some use the fish site for casual hook ups) and it encourage people to have tick list which can be unrealistic. There are definitely a lot of guys who would like to date you. I just think you're more likely to meet them at a live event rather than a dating site (just an opinion).

Finally, if you aren't getting the satisfaction you expect from swinging maybe take a break. It's easy to fall out of love with something or to forget why you enjoy it in the first place. Everyone needs time off from time to time.

Hope you find what you're looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm conflicted with my reason for being here... I joined as a couple with someone I was dating off that fish site, but it didn't work out and due to the nature of our parting, I decided to "swing" by myself. Through my time here I have met great and not so great people, and have made some friends too. But I never wanted to do it by myself. I feel like being in a committed loving relationship that allows for indulging in the swinging lifestyle enhances what a couple already has.

But in my experience the type of men I'm attracted to and meet on fab or through swinging would never give a second thought to me as dating material. Yeah I may be good company, but nothing special.

Most of the messages I get from the fish site are from men I'm not attracted to and those I am attracted to either read and delete my messages or only want to shag..

Getting a meet only makes me feel better for a while, but I don't feel the affection or connection that you would in a relationship obviously.

I'm feeling really lonely I suppose, a little empty... "

Ok lovely - I'm going to address one area that I don't think anyone else has as yet - the fact that on fab you can meet your 'ideal type' physically - but you can't when looking for a relationship! That, I think is the double edged sword for women on fab. Because there are far more men than women on the site, women can be much choosier when it comes to physical attributes than we can in the outside world - ie here we can meet male Adonis types that - when in a relationship - will generally settle down with a female Adonis! This may be unpalatable - but broadly speaking it's true! In a relationship people tend to seek someone that their emotionally as well as physically attracted to - and in many (but certainly not all) cases like attracts like!

Basically all single fems on fab need to take a reality check when we want a 'real relationship' - ie stop insisting on the types we've managed to meet in the swinging world and concentrate on the types we attract in the 'real world'! I'm well aware it's something I'll have to do myself when I feel ready for a relationship - wave goodbye to young Greek gods and start dating guys nearer my own age with warm, caring hearts and great personalities! Doesn't sound too bad when you put it that way, does it? chin up sweetheart - you're still young and I'm sure your Mr right is out there - but you may have to accept that he might not come with the face and body of a male model! Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I (husband) was single I found dating on regular sites to be a nightmare because 95% of the women on there are not open to the possibility of swinging. So my pre-marriage dating consisted of 2-4 month relationships until th swinging conversation came up and promptly ended it.

So I'd be amazed if there aren't a lot of single guys who would love a partner who swings, you have other stuff going for you too! This site in particular seems to have a lot of singles who don't consider themselves swingers, but there are others where I'd be amazed if you weren't fighting them off. SH.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I will admit this site makes me laugh at times, females are good enough to fuck but not have a relationship with, I even have a male friend who has said this, as he wouldn't trust them, it is full of double standards.......

I have been four months without as I am not looking for a relationship and would rather wait for someone I would want to have sex with, in the meantime I have my wand for those moments I need a quick release, so you are young and sometimes you just need to take a break!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will admit this site makes me laugh at times, females are good enough to fuck but not have a relationship with, I even have a male friend who has said this, as he wouldn't trust them, it is full of double standards....... "

It's not just men that are capable of double standards! But there is a fair bit of it on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will admit this site makes me laugh at times, females are good enough to fuck but not have a relationship with, I even have a male friend who has said this, as he wouldn't trust them, it is full of double standards.......

It's not just men that are capable of double standards! But there is a fair bit of it on here"

It's everywhere. This isn't something unique to the site or to swinging. Ever heard the term "moped?" And I don't mean a vespa. It's stupid, yes, but certainly not particular to fab.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I will admit this site makes me laugh at times, females are good enough to fuck but not have a relationship with, I even have a male friend who has said this, as he wouldn't trust them, it is full of double standards.......

It's not just men that are capable of double standards! But there is a fair bit of it on here

It's everywhere. This isn't something unique to the site or to swinging. Ever heard the term "moped?" And I don't mean a vespa. It's stupid, yes, but certainly not particular to fab.

-Courtney"

Not before you just wrote it but now I know!

I just meant that there are men who would fuck a girl they won't commit to and even some that will promise to commit in order to get a fuck.

But there are also women who will commit to guys they don't actually fancy and have a relationship completely devoid of affection or intimacy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we looked,at your photos and thought you were lovely so all will be well for sure. All the best ??

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Sounds like you really like the social side of it all so maybe concentrate on that side of things on here.

Looking at your profile pictures you are really good looking and look after yourself. I'm sure the right person will come along when you least expect it, think positive and enjoy your life and love yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have what they call burn out. The only way to cure this is to take a long break. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just let fate take its path - it will take you where you need to go. We met as singles on Fab nearly 5 years ago - and are blissfully happy - so it can happen - but there are a lot of sharks out there - sounds like you have the ability to 'sniff them out' pretty quickly though - good luck - just don't try and 'force' things x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a brave person who decides they want to be a single swinger for any length of time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm conflicted with my reason for being here... I joined as a couple with someone I was dating off that fish site, but it didn't work out and due to the nature of our parting, I decided to "swing" by myself. Through my time here I have met great and not so great people, and have made some friends too. But I never think wanted to do it by myself. I feel like being in a committed loving relationship that allows for indulging in the swinging lifestyle enhances what a couple already has.

But in my experience the type of men I'm attracted to and meet on fab or through swinging would never give a second thought to me as dating material. Yeah I may be good company, but nothing special.

Most of the messages I get from the fish site are from men I'm not attracted to and those I am attracted to either read and delete my messages or only want to shag..

Getting a meet only makes me feel better for a while, but I don't feel the affection or connection that you would in a relationship obviously.

I'm feeling really lonely I suppose, a little empty... "
I think u would be some much better on single sites like pof e harmony etc have u tried any single nights locally to where u live cause browsing your pics I can not see why u would have any problem meeting someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm conflicted with my reason for being here... I joined as a couple with someone I was dating off that fish site, but it didn't work out and due to the nature of our parting, I decided to "swing" by myself. Through my time here I have met great and not so great people, and have made some friends too. But I never wanted to do it by myself. I feel like being in a committed loving relationship that allows for indulging in the swinging lifestyle enhances what a couple already has.

But in my experience the type of men I'm attracted to and meet on fab or through swinging would never give a second thought to me as dating material. Yeah I may be good company, but nothing special.

Most of the messages I get from the fish site are from men I'm not attracted to and those I am attracted to either read and delete my messages or only want to shag..

Getting a meet only makes me feel better for a while, but I don't feel the affection or connection that you would in a relationship obviously.

I'm feeling really lonely I suppose, a little empty... "

You don't deserve to feel empty or lonely. Take some time out, be with friends and feel better about yourself then if you want to, start meeting or thinking about guys again but there's no rush. All the best xx

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By *aeBabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

I definitely enjoy the social side of swinging because of the open-mindedness of people, and if I play I do enjoy it more at clubs or parties than private meets because there isn't so much pressure for it to happen.

I am on the fish site and have been on other dating sites, but always get messages from people who aren't my type. 2 out of 10 may be my type, but only want nsa, which is worst than meeting on here.

I've never attended singles events before...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To some extent a few of us have been there. I joined as a single...I have twice been in "relationships" with fellow swingers from here....not necessarily as a couple as such but definitely with some connection. This does put a different slant on things and can leave a feeling of disillusionment.....

After the last time I decided to take a break....just to get my head together. My "friend" actually moved away...though we do still have contact she has given up swinging and "found somebody". I felt I needed a break....perhaps you do too?

I would be happy to speak to you privately...you come across as a very genuine and caring individual. But you have blocked single guys...so this may need to suffice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm conflicted with my reason for being here... I joined as a couple with someone I was dating off that fish site, but it didn't work out and due to the nature of our parting, I decided to "swing" by myself. Through my time here I have met great and not so great people, and have made some friends too. But I never wanted to do it by myself. I feel like being in a committed loving relationship that allows for indulging in the swinging lifestyle enhances what a couple already has.

But in my experience the type of men I'm attracted to and meet on fab or through swinging would never give a second thought to me as dating material. Yeah I may be good company, but nothing special.

Most of the messages I get from the fish site are from men I'm not attracted to and those I am attracted to either read and delete my messages or only want to shag..

Getting a meet only makes me feel better for a while, but I don't feel the affection or connection that you would in a relationship obviously.

I'm feeling really lonely I suppose, a little empty...

Ok lovely - I'm going to address one area that I don't think anyone else has as yet - the fact that on fab you can meet your 'ideal type' physically - but you can't when looking for a relationship! That, I think is the double edged sword for women on fab. Because there are far more men than women on the site, women can be much choosier when it comes to physical attributes than we can in the outside world - ie here we can meet male Adonis types that - when in a relationship - will generally settle down with a female Adonis! This may be unpalatable - but broadly speaking it's true! In a relationship people tend to seek someone that their emotionally as well as physically attracted to - and in many (but certainly not all) cases like attracts like!

Basically all single fems on fab need to take a reality check when we want a 'real relationship' - ie stop insisting on the types we've managed to meet in the swinging world and concentrate on the types we attract in the 'real world'! I'm well aware it's something I'll have to do myself when I feel ready for a relationship - wave goodbye to young Greek gods and start dating guys nearer my own age with warm, caring hearts and great personalities! Doesn't sound too bad when you put it that way, does it? chin up sweetheart - you're still young and I'm sure your Mr right is out there - but you may have to accept that he might not come with the face and body of a male model! Xxx"

Very underrated post.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I can empathise with you, as I went through something similar before meeting my OH.

I found the empty feeling after a meet became stronger and spoilt my swinging.

Please be kind to yourself, if you're starting to feel jaded on meets, then take a break or adjust how you swing. Sometimes the empty feeling can make you feel worse than not meeting at all.

The forumites have given some really good advice about finding a relationship so I won't add to that. Good luck xxx

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London


"I definitely enjoy the social side of swinging

I've never attended singles events before..."

Personally I think you'd have more luck at a singles event (I've heard from friends they're a lot of fun) as you are a very social person and I think that it is more likely to find a "spark" with someone in real life as opposed to on a dating site. Even if you don't meet anyone at least it's still a fun night out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am on the fish site and have been on other dating sites, but always get messages from people who aren't my type."

Do your own searches, initiate contact with those who are your type! I wanted to recommend a dating site to you that I believe is a notch above the rest but I'm blocked from messaging you (two years too old).

I've read through this thread and I'd like to add, as a side note, that I've used this and another swinging site to find two real-life lovers and partners I am now in long-term committed relationships with. So I don't stand by the "looking for love in the wrong places" comment: people are people, and you could find anything you desire here as long as you are clear and firm about your intentions.

Many have advised taking some time out... Allow yourself the space&time to find your centre and refocus, with or without a break from the site. Personally I find rewriting profile text helps me concentrate on what I want to go after next. Best of luck x

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By *aeBabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"I am on the fish site and have been on other dating sites, but always get messages from people who aren't my type.

Do your own searches, initiate contact with those who are your type! I wanted to recommend a dating site to you that I believe is a notch above the rest but I'm blocked from messaging you (two years too old).

I've read through this thread and I'd like to add, as a side note, that I've used this and another swinging site to find two real-life lovers and partners I am now in long-term committed relationships with. So I don't stand by the "looking for love in the wrong places" comment: people are people, and you could find anything you desire here as long as you are clear and firm about your intentions.

Many have advised taking some time out... Allow yourself the space&time to find your centre and refocus, with or without a break from the site. Personally I find rewriting profile text helps me concentrate on what I want to do after next. Best of luck x"

I get that about being active and messaging the guys that are my type. Sadly my profile gets viewed and message deleted, so I must not be my types type lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm conflicted with my reason for being here... I joined as a couple with someone I was dating off that fish site, but it didn't work out and due to the nature of our parting, I decided to "swing" by myself. Through my time here I have met great and not so great people, and have made some friends too. But I never wanted to do it by myself. I feel like being in a committed loving relationship that allows for indulging in the swinging lifestyle enhances what a couple already has.

But in my experience the type of men I'm attracted to and meet on fab or through swinging would never give a second thought to me as dating material. Yeah I may be good company, but nothing special.

Most of the messages I get from the fish site are from men I'm not attracted to and those I am attracted to either read and delete my messages or only want to shag..

Getting a meet only makes me feel better for a while, but I don't feel the affection or connection that you would in a relationship obviously.

I'm feeling really lonely I suppose, a little empty...

Ok lovely - I'm going to address one area that I don't think anyone else has as yet - the fact that on fab you can meet your 'ideal type' physically - but you can't when looking for a relationship! That, I think is the double edged sword for women on fab. Because there are far more men than women on the site, women can be much choosier when it comes to physical attributes than we can in the outside world - ie here we can meet male Adonis types that - when in a relationship - will generally settle down with a female Adonis! This may be unpalatable - but broadly speaking it's true! In a relationship people tend to seek someone that their emotionally as well as physically attracted to - and in many (but certainly not all) cases like attracts like!

Basically all single fems on fab need to take a reality check when we want a 'real relationship' - ie stop insisting on the types we've managed to meet in the swinging world and concentrate on the types we attract in the 'real world'! I'm well aware it's something I'll have to do myself when I feel ready for a relationship - wave goodbye to young Greek gods and start dating guys nearer my own age with warm, caring hearts and great personalities! Doesn't sound too bad when you put it that way, does it? chin up sweetheart - you're still young and I'm sure your Mr right is out there - but you may have to accept that he might not come with the face and body of a male model! Xxx

Very underrated post..... "

Thanks Hun!

Don't think it's what people want to hear though!

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By *aeBabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

London


"I'm conflicted with my reason for being here... I joined as a couple with someone I was dating off that fish site, but it didn't work out and due to the nature of our parting, I decided to "swing" by myself. Through my time here I have met great and not so great people, and have made some friends too. But I never wanted to do it by myself. I feel like being in a committed loving relationship that allows for indulging in the swinging lifestyle enhances what a couple already has.

But in my experience the type of men I'm attracted to and meet on fab or through swinging would never give a second thought to me as dating material. Yeah I may be good company, but nothing special.

Most of the messages I get from the fish site are from men I'm not attracted to and those I am attracted to either read and delete my messages or only want to shag..

Getting a meet only makes me feel better for a while, but I don't feel the affection or connection that you would in a relationship obviously.

I'm feeling really lonely I suppose, a little empty...

Ok lovely - I'm going to address one area that I don't think anyone else has as yet - the fact that on fab you can meet your 'ideal type' physically - but you can't when looking for a relationship! That, I think is the double edged sword for women on fab. Because there are far more men than women on the site, women can be much choosier when it comes to physical attributes than we can in the outside world - ie here we can meet male Adonis types that - when in a relationship - will generally settle down with a female Adonis! This may be unpalatable - but broadly speaking it's true! In a relationship people tend to seek someone that their emotionally as well as physically attracted to - and in many (but certainly not all) cases like attracts like!

Basically all single fems on fab need to take a reality check when we want a 'real relationship' - ie stop insisting on the types we've managed to meet in the swinging world and concentrate on the types we attract in the 'real world'! I'm well aware it's something I'll have to do myself when I feel ready for a relationship - wave goodbye to young Greek gods and start dating guys nearer my own age with warm, caring hearts and great personalities! Doesn't sound too bad when you put it that way, does it? chin up sweetheart - you're still young and I'm sure your Mr right is out there - but you may have to accept that he might not come with the face and body of a male model! Xxx

Very underrated post.....

Thanks Hun!

Don't think it's what people want to hear though! "

No I read your post, I don't always go for Adonis', as one of my friends told me, I like men lol I have to be attracted to them of course. Just that most that message me on dating sites are not my type, that includes personality. I'm not expecting myself to end up with someone who was ripped straight out of a magazine or romantic movie, but I do expect to fancy him physically and like him more for his personality. Otherwise if he isn't my type and has a great personality, that's just friendship in my books.

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By *aeBabe OP   Woman
over a year ago

London

I appreciate all advice given here x

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By *5happycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tooting / dept 23 France

I was on the fish dating site for 18 months when I met my husband. If he had messaged me when I started on the site I would not have given him the time of day as I thought I knew what I was looking for and was searching hard for all of that. How wrong I was. Turns out that he was exactly what I needed. I only agreed to meet him because I had started to think of dates as potential friends as opposed to 'the one' and had met some lovely single men who were not going to be my life partners but were great for a fun night out while waiting. I think that once I relaxed my criteria and just took each person as they came, I started to have a lot more fun and took the pressure off myself. And I then met the man who makes me happy.

Just think about what you want from this site, it is primarily for swingers, ie people who are happy to play with others sexually without any form of long term commitment. If you do happen to find someone, then great, but in the meantime, enjoy it for what it is and for when you feel that you need to scratch that itch. I wasn't aware of this site when I was on the fish site, so I used some of my meets there to scratch my itches, which worked well for me at the time. Just remember, there are a lot of nice men out there, maybe not 'the one' but certainly nice enough to spend an evening with having some fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be patient, as with the 'real' world there are plenty of people who can't give you what you need but there are decent men on here. Many just want no strings attached sex, which is fine. However, there are also men on here who want to experience more of a connection and from that, something regular may develop. We've been here about 18 months and in that time i'd say there are two men who are particularly special to me. As it happens, both of these guys aren't my usual 'type' so even though this is a swinging site and physical attraction is very important, maybe be a little more open minded about who you're willing to meet for a social. Good luck xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a program on the other day wasn't there about how endemic loneliness has become. We all seem to be stuck in a vicious cycle where are working lives and social lives seem to be dependent on our Screens. Thank goodness I play tennis. Just hope I don't get injured, where I have to give it up as things would be very bleak indeed. Have you thought of taking up a sport or something sociable like that.

Hugs

xxx

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