FabSwingers.com forum: As a single guy in a club...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Went to my first night in a club recently. Seems I went on a fetish night.

I danced most of the night and made eye contact with a few ladies and got close on the dance floor.

Dint know what to do next in case my new newness would be seen as overstepping boundaries etc.

Any tips?

I even got the dj to introduce me as new and not knowing anybody.

I'm not expecting to play ( as in an assumption that will happen) but would be nice to chat to people and make some friends.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

I think it would honestly depend on the club ... we tend to go to something lower key and more relaxed, but it would be up to you to introduce yourself and mingle. I can imagine that may be hard to do, but gets better with practice?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i know its hard sometimes but how do you get talking to new people in any environment? just say hi

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Iv found most people at clubs to be really friendly (especially when I started going for the first time) just saying hi or making an observation about the club (busy here tonight) usually is good enough to start a conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am single female and attend clubs, can be very daunting.

I tend to just make eye contact and smile....works for me. Always easy to strike up a conversation at the bar area while making drinks. Good luck. X

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By *ubguy12345Man
over a year ago

Stanhope

"I am single female and attend clubs, can be very daunting.

I tend to just make eye contact and smile....works for me. Always easy to strike up a conversation at the bar area while making drinks. Good luck. X "

This is excellent advice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all. Great advice.

May get a badge that says I'm new please say hi etc or is that just silly?

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

I think you need to take the initiative rather than wear a badge .... lots of people will be new

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

True. And I guess if I wear something memorable I may be remembered if I mention in chat rooms etc,,and people get to know me?

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By *reston_geordieMan
over a year ago

Preston

I'm thinking of going to a Social Event for the first time this Thurs (7th).. So looking forward to it .. but .. I just wonder whether I have the bottle !! ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm thinking of going to a Social Event for the first time this Thurs (7th).. So looking forward to it .. but .. I just wonder whether I have the bottle !! .. "

A social is just what it says. Go there. Be polite. Get chatting. Find out what you may want to do next. Make sure you speak to as many people as possible. Be yourself. Then hopefully they will verify you which goes a long way.

I went to one then lost bottle. Deleted profile. Wish I had kept is as met some lovely people I have now lost contact with.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

I've been to two clubs. Whilst I'm not the most outgoing type of person - I'm not shy either.

I'm not really a good conversationalist with blokes - I ended up feeling like a lemon and left before the end.

I guess I'm not a club-type person.

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By *ndykinkyMan
over a year ago

STOKE-ON-TRENT

Checkout what night it is at the club you are going to. Don't go on a Fetish Night unless thst is what you are into.

Relax, don't have to much to drink and don't expect to much on the first visit. Think of it as scouting out the place and people.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

As someone else has suggested hover near the bar and chat. Just smile and ask basic questions about if they have been here before, or about the music, or comment on their outfit.

Don't expect to whizz upstairs and have sex. Plan to chat to several people and maybe swap details with people on fab. You can then ask about if they will verify you.

You might be able to message on the site and arrange a meet at another time.

Don't drink too much. Relax, smile and enjoy the evening.

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By *osmicsMan
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I've had some success on some of my club visits but I have also had nights with less than nothing...

I guess it's no different to a night out in vanilla world..

My advice...Make a few visits before deciding if club meets are for you!

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs have a clique ...be part of it hahaha

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"Went to my first night in a club recently. Seems I went on a fetish night.

I danced most of the night and made eye contact with a few ladies and got close on the dance floor.

Dint know what to do next in case my new newness would be seen as overstepping boundaries etc.

Any tips?

I even got the dj to introduce me as new and not knowing anybody.

I'm not expecting to play ( as in an assumption that will happen) but would be nice to chat to people and make some friends. "

Sounds hideous.

A shed load of money to get in....for very little it seems. I've never been tempted.

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By *reston_geordieMan
over a year ago

Preston

Thanks Lizzy .. Will Do .. I'll let you know how it goes ..

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By *reston_geordieMan
over a year ago

Preston

Thanks Miss Purple .. I'll give that a try .. x

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"I'm thinking of going to a Social Event for the first time this Thurs (7th).. So looking forward to it .. but .. I just wonder whether I have the bottle !! .. "

Just go. Expect nothing, be polite and socialise. It's a social so it's a good chance nothing will happen but, if you play it cool and right, you may make contacts and get some good verifications. If course it's always possible you may get lucky on the night but don't bank on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks all. Great advice.

May get a badge that says I'm new please say hi etc or is that just silly?"

I got one that said "I swallow" it worked for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Went to my first night in a club recently. Seems I went on a fetish night.

I danced most of the night and made eye contact with a few ladies and got close on the dance floor.

Dint know what to do next in case my new newness would be seen as overstepping boundaries etc.

Any tips?

I even got the dj to introduce me as new and not knowing anybody.

I'm not expecting to play ( as in an assumption that will happen) but would be nice to chat to people and make some friends.

Sounds hideous.

A shed load of money to get in....for very little it seems. I've never been tempted."

Perhaps OP could tell us how much he paid in total to enter the "club".

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage

"Went to my first night in a club recently. Seems I went on a fetish night.

I danced most of the night and made eye contact with a few ladies and got close on the dance floor.

Dint know what to do next in case my new newness would be seen as overstepping boundaries etc.

Any tips?

I even got the dj to introduce me as new and not knowing anybody.

I'm not expecting to play ( as in an assumption that will happen) but would be nice to chat to people and make some friends.

Sounds hideous.

A shed load of money to get in....for very little it seems. I've never been tempted.

Perhaps OP could tell us how much he paid in total to enter the "club"."

Not all clubs are expensive for men, theres a club section on this site which lists all clubs and contains links to their websites, websites will have prices.

The Attic in Derby i believe is £20 for single men, membership wasn't required but believe there is talk about introducing it.

New paradise club near loughborough varies in price, midweek its £10, weekends its £30 with annual £5 membership.

Neither of these clubs are any more expensive than going out for a few pints

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage

"Went to my first night in a club recently. Seems I went on a fetish night.

I danced most of the night and made eye contact with a few ladies and got close on the dance floor.

Dint know what to do next in case my new newness would be seen as overstepping boundaries etc.

Any tips?

I even got the dj to introduce me as new and not knowing anybody.

I'm not expecting to play ( as in an assumption that will happen) but would be nice to chat to people and make some friends. "

Its down to individuals to mingle and say hello, talk to people exactly the same way as you did at the social event you attended, memorable clothing and name tags aren't required.

If you made eye contact and danced close with some, why didn't you then go on to say, hi, I'm (name), my first club visit, any tips fir a newbie, that would get a conversation flowing.

It sounds from the description you went to xtasia, is it worth going to smaller club where loud music isn't playing until you feel more comfortable and confident in the club scene

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes was there. I think the music helped me feel more comfortable. If it quieter and had to chat to others think I would not have enjoyed the experience.

I think you are right on clothing and badge.

Next time wil def make more effort to chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs are an amazing experience better then going to a pub lol

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By *reston_geordieMan
over a year ago

Preston

OK .. I'm gonna give it a try then .. Social @ No.3 in Chorley on Thursday .. I might just give it a try !! ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK .. I'm gonna give it a try then .. Social @ No.3 in Chorley on Thursday .. I might just give it a try !! .. "

And it aint so straight forward there are procedures and rules

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By *irty Girty From No 30Woman
over a year ago

Burbage

"Yes was there. I think the music helped me feel more comfortable. If it quieter and had to chat to others think I would not have enjoyed the experience.

I think you are right on clothing and badge.

Next time wil def make more effort to chat. "

If you don't chat you wont get anywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to have chitchats!!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"As someone else has suggested hover near the bar and chat. Just smile and ask basic questions about if they have been here before, or about the music, or comment on their outfit.

Don't expect to whizz upstairs and have sex. Plan to chat to several people and maybe swap details with people on fab. You can then ask about if they will verify you.

You might be able to message on the site and arrange a meet at another time.

Don't drink too much. Relax, smile and enjoy the evening. "

Great advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Agreed. All makes sense. Looking forward to next trip. Will add to events / meets next time and see what comes of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to get any chance of playing in a club as a single male you need to get near the front of the benny hill train ..when a couple move to play mainly the first few in the benny hill train get to play or watch lol are we joking ?? lol not in some of the clubs we,ve been to lol

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By *oyce69Man
over a year ago

Driffield

"to get any chance of playing in a club as a single male you need to get near the front of the benny hill train ..when a couple move to play mainly the first few in the benny hill train get to play or watch lol are we joking ?? lol not in some of the clubs we,ve been to lol

When reading your post I had this funny tune playing in my head.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

This post just confirms all the many reasons I'd hate to go to a club.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Pmsl

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

I don't play that way. I socialise and chat in the bar, Jacuzzi, sauna areas, and by the time we move to the playrooms, guys definitely know whether they are invited to play with me or not. All the clubs I have been to have strict rules about no touching without asking, and anyone who thinks they can get somewhere by pushing to the front will probably get ejected from the club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like the post above says - the best way to have a chance to play is engage a couple in social chat before play starts - we go to clubs, we like the addition of a single male quite often - we always invite ones to play who have taken the effort to chat to both of us and who have made me feel a little bit special

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

haha theres always the cockblockers on the font line

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

When we are at clubs we may meet a few singles at the bar but mainly we meet them in the play rooms, sauna or jacuzzi.

If we are stuck in the bar we are tempted to leave as the club is dead

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By *ripleXrateDWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Never be to shy to introduce yourself but make sure you do to both male and females. I've only been to a club twice but both times I've met people thete for there first time and I've also seen single guys following females about but not introducing themselfs, that's kind of creepy.

Good luck but can I suggest next time look on here for any pre club meets. There's normaly one in a pub for my local club. Xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are going to a club and hoping for a shag then keep it simple. Just dont go, nook an escort for 1/2 an hour and you WILL get sex rather than the very real risk of being excluded from cliques and going home frustrated whilst having paid for the privilege

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, I have been around both the fetish and swinging club scene for years with a couple of exes.

You would have better chance of success on a pure swingers night rather than a fetish one. Not all fetish people are automatically into swinging and xtasia has good dungeon facilities. There is also the issue of D/s dynamics to be taken into account. You might offend some fetish couples by say, addressing someone who is the obvious submissive in the relationship rather than talking to the dominant first to make sure it is ok. It can be a complete minefield even for those 'scene aware'

So do check out 'what's on' first!

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