FabSwingers.com forum: Social club or sex club?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cross posted this from Swingers Chat because it doesn't seem to be getting traction there but is (I think) genuinely interesting...

Went to Quest last night, amazing place, didn't get to play but that's life.

But what struck me as it has on every visit to a club is how long it takes for play to start.

I mean, you wouldn't go to a sailing club and spend all day chatting then say "Oh there's an hour of daylight left let's get some sailing in" or go to a chess club and spend the afternoon gossiping before getting a chess board out.

Certainly whenever I've been to a club with a playpal we've cracked on pretty quickly - perhaps nothing more than a little fingering but the idea has been we're here for sex and aren't shy about it - even if we only play with each other.

Of course nice company is nice and I'll talk the hind leg off a donkey, but what am I missing here....?

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

Only noticed this when at 'dressed' clubs. The dress down clubs tend to start a lot earlier!

I've been to clubs and chatted all night, not stepping foot near a play area.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Totally agree with you on this. We usually find that we spend about 30 minutes looking around, seeing if we see someone we are interested in chatting up - if not we go and have fun together!

Quite often we have pre-arranged a meet, we don't usually wait 30 minutes then!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the lack of pressure, that's why I go

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By *roggMan
over a year ago

haverfordwest

Some people do go for the social side but as has been said in a dressed down club there is more activity on the play side and even more so in a sex club where people are still social

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes, the lack of pressure makes sense....but I was just about to edit the post to say that one sees a lot of people hardly socialising...just sitting sipping their drinks....

It will all come down to diffr'nt strokes I guess.

And my point certainly wasn't about expecting mass orgies from the off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone to there own, maybe some are edging there bets incase someone more suitable comes in

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

When I use to sail it was said "sailing is something to do when the bar is shut." Also sailing and chess are things that can be done in public...

We have played in the afternoon at a club but we don't often play for the first couple of hours. Swinging is quite a social past time and many people like to get settled in and have a couple of drinks before they play...

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By *atEvolutionCouple
over a year ago

atlantisEVOLUTION Swingers Club. Stoke

What about chat flirt tease dance laugh friends it's all part of our social make-up . . .

Give me 'social and swinging' any time. Anything less just feels 'brothel' like.

Most clubs are open for 5 hours or more in an evening. 5 hours of sex would be pretty boring really.

Single guys need to realise that girls like them to do some work . . . chatting up, making them laugh, woo them into the playrooms . . . we are not yours for the taking, win us with some original wit and fun. Learn to bust some moves on the dance floor, dress nice, smell nice,

'Fancy a fuck?' really doesn't do it for me. Sorry.

Match yourself to the club - if you are looking for a brothel, go find a brothel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thing is, sailing doesn't require you to establish a mutual attraction to anyone, neither does chess. If you're there as a single looking for a single, you've got to pull one person. If you're a couple, looking for a threesome/foursome/moresome you're going to need to establish mutual attraction and wants/needs between many people. This takes time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all attend clubs with our own agenda. I am guilty of attending Quest purely to socialise (for the most part). I'm often called a fraud and some people will frown upon my presence for not playing. But I won't apologise for that.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

"What about chat flirt tease dance laugh friends it's all part of our social make-up . . .

Give me 'social and swinging' any time. Anything less just feels 'brothel' like.

Most clubs are open for 5 hours or more in an evening. 5 hours of sex would be pretty boring really.

'Fancy a fuck?' really doesn't do it for me. Sorry.

Match yourself to the club - if you are looking for a brothel, go find a brothel.

spot on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That really wasn't my point AT ALL. Of course I expect to put in the flirting and seducing if I expect to "pull" - goes without saying.

The point was a more general one and the votes seem to be coming down on the side of social - which I can do and do well, but I would probably prefer to do in other places. And as for 5 hours of sex being boring....well you clearly haven't spent 5 hours with me! (OK I exaggerate. A bit).

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By *atEvolutionCouple
over a year ago

atlantisEVOLUTION Swingers Club. Stoke

That really wasn't my point AT ALL. Of course I expect to put in the flirting and seducing if I expect to "pull" - goes without saying.

My apologies for the term 'single guys' - I didn't mean to tar and brush 'all'

I've met single guys who actually do the work and for me they go more places and get to many more places than the proverbial lager in the adverts lol. . .

5 Hours straight? Noooooo! I wanna' dance, and laugh and be romanced all the way to a playroom.

Cat X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh I guess we could squeeze in the odd dance - I am RED HOT - and I'll try to make you laugh....

Do we have a date?

But in spite of all the very good arguments people have put up here, I still find it odd not to have found a club which oozes sex and play from the off (sadly not necessarily involving me).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I mean, you wouldn't go to a sailing club and spend all day chatting then say "Oh there's an hour of daylight left let's get some sailing in" or go to a chess club and spend the afternoon gossiping before getting a chess board out. "

I'm a member of a chess club and there's definitely more chatting than play. Though at the next meeting I might suggest we get to the play more quickly, or at least finger the queen for a bit.

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By *atEvolutionCouple
over a year ago

atlantisEVOLUTION Swingers Club. Stoke

Oh I guess we could squeeze in the odd dance - I am RED HOT - and I'll try to make you laugh....

Do we have a date?

But in spite of all the very good arguments people have put up here, I still find it odd not to have found a club which oozes sex and play from the off (sadly not necessarily involving me).

I think some clubs do ooze sex and play - it's just that some of the sex is pre-play which leads to sex . . .

Do we have a date? Well in your profile you have a thumb as your picture! It may well be the most delightful, sexy thumb a girl has ever seen - but it's not sound material for you as a date.

Your profile is a little short on content.

With a wink and a twinkle in my eye . . . do some work!

Cat X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So let me get this straight - if you go to a club expecting to have sex , you should go to a brothel . And it's the social side of things that distinguishes a club from such a den of iniquity .

What a ridiculous state of affairs , and this is precisely the reason we stopped going to clubs a year or so ago .

For us , swinging and having sexual hook ups with others , is a lifestyle choice we made in order to fulfill some fantasies . The socialising is not , and never has been why we swing . Of course we have made some good friends along the way , but it's not that we would ever arrange a social meet .

When we went to clubs it was with the intention to find like minded people to have sex with . And that's what happened , no problem . A drink , a chat , a play . But as time went on there seemed to be more and more people using the clubs for a social meet up point . And as the consensus is that if you don't like it , move on , that's what we did .

Unfortunately we live too far from chameleons which was the only club we visited which worked for us , and others , who do enjoy going to a club to play . But since avoiding clubs , it's never been better . We meet people like ourselves and we all have fun .

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

I would think many women would be quite sore after 5 hours of sex...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wasn't totally aware that it actually had to be 5 hours of penetration

I think most men would be pretty sore too!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I was at Adam & Eves last night and it shut at 1am. Nearly everybody sat at the bar chatting til midnight then went en masse down to the orgy room. When I commented on it the manager said that always happened.

I'd been playing since half ten of course because I'm a floozy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get what the op is saying. We have often been the first to go play...

We love the social side but can't ever see why it takes till gone 11 for most people to hit the play rooms..

We have noticed that many need a few drinks In them to go and play....where as we don't...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Really good point about the drinks. Surely you shouldn't need Dutch courage? But it's nice to see that a few folk think my way.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I agree that clubs for me are about fun. I wouldn't want to come in the door and within 15 minutes be merrily fucking in the playrooms......then what?

I like the build up, the anticipation. Flirting, chatting, meeting people before you wander upstairs for some fun.

It also gives you chance to swap details and possibly line up some future fun with people. It isn't necessary to play at the club. Do a bit of networking.

For me a sex club is about way more than just sex.

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By *he horny kinkstersCouple
over a year ago

North West

We usually go in, grab a drink, have a quick look around and then get playing with each other. If others want to join us they're welcome but we're there for us first and foremost.

We do enjoy chatting to people but usually can't keep our hands off each other for very long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We get what the op is saying. We have often been the first to go play...

We love the social side but can't ever see why it takes till gone 11 for most people to hit the play rooms..

We have noticed that many need a few drinks In them to go and play....where as we don't... "

That works best for us too - a cup of tea, one small glass of wine or whisky washeddown with20 minutes of flirting and chatting then.....it' time to fulfil those darkest desires.....2hours later - rinse, refresh and repeat!!!!

Dressed down clubs make it more simple for everyone but they seem to be disappearing - maybe club owners think they will take more profit if people stay in the bar area for longer and play in a bit of a hurry at the end of the night?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

So what we find is everyone uses clubs differently. Who knew?

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"So what we find is everyone uses clubs differently. Who knew?

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

I do like to socialise a bit at clubs but must admit that on most occasions I've been one of the first to start playing

I've been to one club where, because of the nature of the night, you weren't allowed to play until midnight, then the club shut at 1am

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By *roggMan
over a year ago

haverfordwest

"I do like to socialise a bit at clubs but must admit that on most occasions I've been one of the first to start playing

I've been to one club where, because of the nature of the night, you weren't allowed to play until midnight, then the club shut at 1am

perhaps that is their idea of happy hour

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"I do like to socialise a bit at clubs but must admit that on most occasions I've been one of the first to start playing

I've been to one club where, because of the nature of the night, you weren't allowed to play until midnight, then the club shut at 1am

perhaps that is their idea of happy hour"

It wasn't my idea of happy hour that's for sure

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now funnily enough that's one variation on the theme I DO get.....it really would allow for a build-up of tension.

And a very busy hour!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We get what the op is saying. We have often been the first to go play...

We love the social side but can't ever see why it takes till gone 11 for most people to hit the play rooms..

We have noticed that many need a few drinks In them to go and play....where as we don't... "

Just turn up later.

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By *atEvolutionCouple
over a year ago

atlantisEVOLUTION Swingers Club. Stoke

"I agree that clubs for me are about fun. I wouldn't want to come in the door and within 15 minutes be merrily fucking in the playrooms......then what?

I like the build up, the anticipation. Flirting, chatting, meeting people before you wander upstairs for some fun.

It also gives you chance to swap details and possibly line up some future fun with people. It isn't necessary to play at the club. Do a bit of networking.

For me a sex club is about way more than just sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We usually go in, grab a drink, have a quick look around and then get playing with each other. If others want to join us they're welcome but we're there for us first and foremost.

We do enjoy chatting to people but usually can't keep our hands off each other for very long."

That sounds like us... We like the social side but are normally being naughty at least with each other within an hour x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been to too many clubs that have little cliques of people, who only want to chat to each other whilst dressed up. That's up to them of course, but they are swingers clubs and you do expect a bit of swinging! Chameleons is BRILLIANT. Bristol Gardens Health Spa in Brighton is also good. If I want a social meet I would go to the pub. Not a swingers club - but maybe some people only have swing friends and no vanilla life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but maybe some people only have swing friends and no vanilla life.

That would be me

all my friends are fet or swing friends x

Cali

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Cross posted this from Swingers Chat because it doesn't seem to be getting traction there but is (I think) genuinely interesting...

Went to Quest last night, amazing place, didn't get to play but that's life.

But what struck me as it has on every visit to a club is how long it takes for play to start.

Of course nice company is nice and I'll talk the hind leg off a donkey, but what am I missing here....?

It depends who is in the club, whenever we go to Quests we have a quick coffee before the action starts, sometimes there is not even time for a coffee first

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

Now funnily enough that's one variation on the theme I DO get.....it really would allow for a build-up of tension.

And a very busy hour!"

But once I'd had a fag and a wee, it was happy 45 mins, which is no good

It was a speed dating night so not much tension.. More dread when you could see a certain bloke was coming to you next

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about chat flirt tease dance laugh friends it's all part of our social make-up . . .

Give me 'social and swinging' any time. Anything less just feels 'brothel' like.

Most clubs are open for 5 hours or more in an evening. 5 hours of sex would be pretty boring really.

'Fancy a fuck?' really doesn't do it for me. Sorry.

Match yourself to the club - if you are looking for a brothel, go find a brothel.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh no that's grim. I thought it was one of those masked ball, play from midnight things!

But once I'd had a fag and a wee, it was happy 45 mins, which is no good

It was a speed dating night so not much tension.. More dread when you could see a certain bloke was coming to you next

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By *oandjohnCouple
over a year ago

South Wales, will travel to Hereford, Worcestershire and Shropshire

It is hard to do better than Cham in Darleston IMHO. Just a Shame Newport has never really equated it

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