FabSwingers.com forum: The direct approach.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have never met anyone who's first message mentions meeting.

Found myself thinking about this after checking my messages this morning. So many of them are along the lines of; liking my pics, or complimenting me and then asking if I'd like to meet.

Now there's nothing wrong with the direct approach, but for me, it simply doesn't work. It has never got any of them a meet.

So; does the direct approach ever work with or for you?

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

when pissed I'm useless at chatting people up so yeah I am surprisingly honest. On here no way does it work though you soon find out if you are on the same wave length or not. I am not into endless mails.. I usually cut to the chase reasonably soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can work for me.

i like spontaneous meets sometimes, but i have got on page that i will only do socials with guys i've never spoken to before, i've had a couple of socials over the past week now.

being permanently horny means i don't need a build up, it's just the safety aspect for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I sent a message it usually says something like 'would you like to have a chat and then potentially go for a coffee when we're both free?'

It seems to work for meeting women, which is what's important to me right now.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

It works for me as I'm a direct person. My first response has on occasion agreed to a meet if the profile/veris/pics are good enough. Sadly those are few and far between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we send a first message, it always includes a line like 'let us know if you might like to meet one day'. It's polite and unassuming but also direct in the sense that it shows we're genuinely interested in meeting. It usually works.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sounds like I'm being an awkward cow then

I'm not looking to put people through hoops but I suppose a little conversation is important to me.

In a club, I like minimal conversation sometimes. Being led by the hand to a room minutes after saying hello is rather exciting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like I'm being an awkward cow then

I'm not looking to put people through hoops but I suppose a little conversation is important to me.

In a club, I like minimal conversation sometimes. Being led by the hand to a room minutes after saying hello is rather exciting. "

I suppose I like to lay it out on the table. "I'd like a chat, but I'd like a chat with the intention of meeting"

I get messaged by so many guys who clearly just want to chat and get their rocks off, that I find it helpful to spell it out in the first message THEN have a chat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Perhaps I'm just feeling a little message weary. The same pile of sameness every day.

I don't want to block messages because there are always a few people who pop up that i would probably never have found myself. (Bearing in mind how many people are reluctant to admit they like tgirls on their profiles).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of our meets are from messages which say they like the look of us and would we like to meet .

Seems odd that the op admits to being message weary yet doesn't like the more direct approach .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's the direct ones that get so samey.

Wow. You're gorgeous. Want to meet?

Nice pics. Meet now?

That kind of thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the direct ones that get so samey.

Wow. You're gorgeous. Want to meet?

Nice pics. Meet now?

That kind of thing.

Aah, I include a little more in my messages.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's the direct ones that get so samey.

Wow. You're gorgeous. Want to meet?

Nice pics. Meet now?

That kind of thing.

Aah, I include a little more in my messages.

I thought you might.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's the direct ones that get so samey.

Wow. You're gorgeous. Want to meet?

Nice pics. Meet now?

That kind of thing.

Aah, I include a little more in my messages.

I thought you might.

I like to write them 1700 words on why they should meet me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's the direct ones that get so samey.

Wow. You're gorgeous. Want to meet?

Nice pics. Meet now?

That kind of thing.

Aah, I include a little more in my messages.

I thought you might.

I like to write them 1700 words on why they should meet me."

That wouldn't surprise me from you but I know you're pulling my extremely long leg now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the person I'm messaging.

I look at their profiles and try and work out if they're direct types or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most of our meets are from messages which say they like the look of us and would we like to meet .

Seems odd that the op admits to being message weary yet doesn't like the more direct approach .

You seem very directly approachable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never direct, always friendly, open, polite and respectful, while trying to make sure it''s clear i've read the profile by showing genuine interest, whole doing my best to show i'm genuine and decent - still rarely gets me a reply! Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No doesn't work for us. We have potentially lost good meets over it. But no, we hate the direct approach.

We view it as the person is horny and just wants sex, we could be anyone. Seems so unnatural; no connection, no banter, no chemistry.

We make it clear on our page etc. So if they can't be bothered to read it, well their loss lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Banter can definitely have a loosening effect in my knickers.

If I'm meeting one on one I need to be able to talk to them.

I met a guy recently and arrived at his house in guy mode, as agreed. (Neighbours). We chatted and had a drink before I went to get changed.

The passion triggered between us was mind blowing. Seeing him again as soon as he returns from America.

The banter got me to break my own rule and meet him at his home rather than in a club.

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

"It's the direct ones that get so samey.

Wow. You're gorgeous. Want to meet?

Nice pics. Meet now?

That kind of thing.

This isn't the direct I meant - this type is lazy and indiscriminate. They've sent the message to anyone and everyone, not bothered to read the profile and will only put in effort if they receive some kind of response. They get deleted and often blocked.

Direct to me means they've read the profile, think it's a good match and are up front about their intentions. That's the type of message that will always receive a reply from me even if it's a polite no thanks.

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