FabSwingers.com forum: How do you share a lover and be happy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only time will tell but hey what happens if her search leads to someone she prefers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Only time will tell but hey what happens if her search leads to someone she prefers

She has told me that isn't what she wants...And I believe that....but if she does then I will have to accept that choice..Thanks for your response..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon"

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion."

Could you explain compersion to me ? Thanks for you reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And yes I need to find happiness for them and for that to give me happiness too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion.

Could you explain compersion to me ? Thanks for you reply"

It's the word for when you find happiness because your lover is happy with someone else too.

Like, if you were a parent and you had a kid, and they found happiness with someone, then you would be happy because they were happy.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Compersion sounds like comparison, conpartmentalisation and compensation all rolled into one and then some letters taken away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And don't forget to find other people for yourself too. Your partner will most likely enjoy you exploring other people too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion.

Could you explain compersion to me ? Thanks for you reply

It's the word for when you find happiness because your lover is happy with someone else too.

Like, if you were a parent and you had a kid, and they found happiness with someone, then you would be happy because they were happy.

Ok I understand a bit more thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And don't forget to find other people for yourself too. Your partner will most likely enjoy you exploring other people too.

Yes I am starting to chat and open my horizon to the possibilities....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion.

Could you explain compersion to me ? Thanks for you reply

It's the word for when you find happiness because your lover is happy with someone else too.

Like, if you were a parent and you had a kid, and they found happiness with someone, then you would be happy because they were happy.

That's a bit different

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion.

Could you explain compersion to me ? Thanks for you reply

It's the word for when you find happiness because your lover is happy with someone else too.

Like, if you were a parent and you had a kid, and they found happiness with someone, then you would be happy because they were happy.

That's a bit different "

Can you add a different view...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion.

Could you explain compersion to me ? Thanks for you reply

It's the word for when you find happiness because your lover is happy with someone else too.

Like, if you were a parent and you had a kid, and they found happiness with someone, then you would be happy because they were happy.

That's a bit different

Can you add a different view...?"

Me,no. I'm a selfish bitch

one for all and all for me. Would be nice to feel that way but I couldn't ( do love it that my kids are happy though )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion.

Could you explain compersion to me ? Thanks for you reply

It's the word for when you find happiness because your lover is happy with someone else too.

Like, if you were a parent and you had a kid, and they found happiness with someone, then you would be happy because they were happy.

That's a bit different

Can you add a different view...?

Me,no. I'm a selfish bitch

one for all and all for me. Would be nice to feel that way but I couldn't ( do love it that my kids are happy though )"

Everyone is different. I'm a very selfish person, but I'm selfish because I pursue my own happiness primarily. If a lover isn't happy with me finding happiness with others then they're simply not the right person for me.

It's great that there are people in the world open to all kinds of arrangements, otherwise we'd be a bit stuffed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion.

Could you explain compersion to me ? Thanks for you reply

It's the word for when you find happiness because your lover is happy with someone else too.

Like, if you were a parent and you had a kid, and they found happiness with someone, then you would be happy because they were happy.

That's a bit different

Can you add a different view...?

Me,no. I'm a selfish bitch

one for all and all for me. Would be nice to feel that way but I couldn't ( do love it that my kids are happy though )

It's great that there are people in the world open to all kinds of arrangements, otherwise we'd be a bit stuffed!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion.

Could you explain compersion to me ? Thanks for you reply

It's the word for when you find happiness because your lover is happy with someone else too.

Like, if you were a parent and you had a kid, and they found happiness with someone, then you would be happy because they were happy.

That's a bit different

Can you add a different view...?

Me,no. I'm a selfish bitch

one for all and all for me. Would be nice to feel that way but I couldn't ( do love it that my kids are happy though )

It's great that there are people in the world open to all kinds of arrangements, otherwise we'd be a bit stuffed!

And I'm open to new things and the possibilities this can bring.

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By *ightyandLeftyCouple
over a year ago

Funtown

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion."

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By *ightyandLeftyCouple
over a year ago

Funtown

"Compersion sounds like comparison, conpartmentalisation and compensation all rolled into one and then some letters taken away. "

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

This depends on what you were looking for in the relationship. If the thing you enjoyed most was sharing experiences together, you may find it hard to go it alone.

On the other hand you could be opening yourself up to a whole new set of experiences.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

We have a young 24 year old we have fun with once a week been going on for about 4 year,s now and he is Jealous if we meet any one else he goes quiet and sulks. He also got married 2 year,s ago

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"We have a young 24 year old we have fun with once a week been going on for about 4 year,s now and he is Jealous if we meet any one else he goes quiet and sulks. He also got married 2 year,s ago"

That's quite funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We have a young 24 year old we have fun with once a week been going on for about 4 year,s now and he is Jealous if we meet any one else he goes quiet and sulks. He also got married 2 year,s ago

That's quite funny.

That shit gets old very quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really want to share my gf but unsure if how id feel after.

Amny factors as like what if she preferred the other guy or got to fancy him etc..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really want to share my gf but unsure if how id feel after.

Amny factors as like what if she preferred the other guy or got to fancy him etc..

If she prefers someone else to you, then you're not the right person for her and it'll probably all fall apart anyway eventually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really want to share my gf but unsure if how id feel after.

Amny factors as like what if she preferred the other guy or got to fancy him etc..

If you feel that insecure in yoyr relationship, it's never going to work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have been together for 7 years very strong. But letting your gf have sex with another guy is a big step for some.. not everybidy is ok with letting there gf/bf have sex with another..

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Have been together for 7 years very strong. But letting your gf have sex with another guy is a big step for some.. not everybidy is ok with letting there gf/bf have sex with another.."

I agree although in my case I know I'd enjoy it. I have a high level of emotional intelligence and not a scrap of jealousy so it would bother me at all. I'm also confident she wouldn't choose another guy over me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have been together for 7 years very strong. But letting your gf have sex with another guy is a big step for some.. not everybidy is ok with letting there gf/bf have sex with another.."

The first step is not seeing your partner as a possession - or it was for me anyway.

You don't 'let' your partner do anything (they are not yours to control). Instead, you trust your partner not to hurt you. It's subtly different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have been together for 7 years very strong. But letting your gf have sex with another guy is a big step for some.. not everybidy is ok with letting there gf/bf have sex with another..

The first step is not seeing your partner as a possession - or it was for me anyway.

You don't 'let' your partner do anything (they are not yours to control). Instead, you trust your partner not to hurt you. It's subtly different."

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By *Carver-Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion.

Could you explain compersion to me ? Thanks for you reply

It's the word for when you find happiness because your lover is happy with someone else too.

Like, if you were a parent and you had a kid, and they found happiness with someone, then you would be happy because they were happy.

"
Really well put.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is actually a really nice and informative thread. I'd like to thank Wasp_Hunter on her insights here. She has expressed how I feel, and how I would have answered the OP, except far better than I could have.

I hope you and your partner find what you are looking for, OP.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is actually a really nice and informative thread. I'd like to thank Wasp_Hunter on her insights here. She has expressed how I feel, and how I would have answered the OP, except far better than I could have.

I hope you and your partner find what you are looking for, OP.

-Courtney"

Thanks Courtney...And that's exactly what we all need and desire...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks to everyone who has contributed to my post.

Happiness comes from the happiness of those we care about. What makes them happy will make you Happy !.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been part of an exclusive mmf threesome for the past three years.

And now my lover is ready to explore with others.

How can I make the most from this and move forward with our relationship that still endures ?.

Simon

If you are a secure person then it won't matter that they are seeing other people. Find happiness in their happiness - it's called compersion."

Your a very wise woman. X

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