FabSwingers.com forum: Why are guys so pushy?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't get me wrong, I understand... You see someone's wife who you really want to have sex with and you have to ask... I do that, we all do that here...

What I don't understand is why guys need to be so intense about it... I thought this was supposed to be fun!

Obviously, as a guy myself, I've never been on the receiving end of it, but I have noticed that many women and couples here have had to develop a pretty severe hair trigger with the block button.

Does anyone else think there should be a rating system for communications? It would probably help others know who to avoid. Just a thought.

Anyway, I'm just interested in your views on the subject.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

Does anyone else think there should be a rating system for communications? It would probably help others know who to avoid. Just a thought.

Anyway, I'm just interested in your views on the subject.

And exactly how would communication be rated?...and by whom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong, I understand... You see someone's wife who you really want to have sex with and you have to ask... I do that, we all do that here...

What I don't understand is why guys need to be so intense about it... I thought this was supposed to be fun!

Obviously, as a guy myself, I've never been on the receiving end of it, but I have noticed that many women and couples here have had to develop a pretty severe hair trigger with the block button.

Does anyone else think there should be a rating system for communications? It would probably help others know who to avoid. Just a thought.

Anyway, I'm just interested in your views on the subject.

1. How do you know?

2. The block button is a useful tool and not always indicative of anything other than not wanting to meet a person.

3. A rating system would be subject to abuse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

By the recipient? Something like 'was this person rude/demanding?' would be a start.

Did this person read the profile? You can always tell.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not sure anyone would abuse a rating system, what would be the point? I know because I've spoken to a few people on here who have had bad experiences with pushy guys and I'm not saying to get rid of the block button but supplement it. It might make people more careful with what they say and be a warning to others if they don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the op was rude to start this thread,and pushy to get other people's views.

See how easy it is to abuse??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"By the recipient? Something like 'was this person rude/demanding?' would be a start.

Did this person read the profile? You can always tell. "

You wouldn't meet people who were rude and demanding in emails, so therefore there would be no verification/rating to leave for them. You would surely only verify people you'd met, not random people who had emailed you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you report people this can get their account suspended or even deleted, that would give everyone a bit of peace for a while.

Also, different people define pushy different ways. I have a very low tolerance for 'pushy' guys, despite understanding some men are desperate for sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why you on here slagging other guys?

the old white knight routine gets a bit tiresome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op why are you bothering with this site when it obviously winds you up so much? Chill man

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

The "rating" of rude and generally bad messengers is done via ignoring and/or blocking/ and reporting in extreme cases.

I can see no motive or point whatsoever for anyone then also filling in some kind of rating chart...

The good polite messengers are sometimes rewarded by a reply (though this largely depends on the messenger's profile)and that's all the "rating" they seek.

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By *orders2forUCouple
over a year ago

Hawick

Actually you can't always tell. There is a stealth mode on here for them what pays out.

We use the block a lot and no its not wrong in our minds as it saves us time. Also we are not keen on our pics being perved by people we have no interest in.

As paying members one of the reasons for paying is to have the extra tools.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it would be open to abuse, anyone who gets turned down for a meet could easily make nasty false comments. From a lot of the comments I have seen, many people hand out abusive messages when they are turned down, no reason not to believe they would do the same on a rating system.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong, I understand... You see someone's wife who you really want to have sex with and you have to ask... I do that, we all do that here...

What I don't understand is why guys need to be so intense about it... I thought this was supposed to be fun!

Obviously, as a guy myself, I've never been on the receiving end of it, but I have noticed that many women and couples here have had to develop a pretty severe hair trigger with the block button.

Does anyone else think there should be a rating system for communications? It would probably help others know who to avoid. Just a thought.

Anyway, I'm just interested in your views on the subject.

"
You joined a week ago and you have already sussed us guys out. Nice one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you think this site is about ? Sex never

block

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Theire profile their choices, their messages their choice to include whatever they feel appropriate, if that results in a block or reporting for abuse..

that makes it easier for the good guys to stand out..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It was only a passing thought... I didn't mean to upset anyone... I'm not exactly campaigning for it, just wondering (sorry, I do that...)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Pushy in messages is a warning that they will be pushy in person so I prefer to keep things as they are.

What does put me off op is being referred to as someone's wife within this context.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Pushy in messages is a warning that they will be pushy in person so I prefer to keep things as they are.

What does put me off op is being referred to as someone's wife within this context. "

That's entirely fair... I was being glib... I'm sorry about that.

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By *heorgasmaddictMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Why are some men so pushy? Dunno. Why are some women so touchy? Dunno.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It was only a passing thought... I didn't mean to upset anyone... I'm not exactly campaigning for it, just wondering (sorry, I do that...)"

You can post whatever you want, don't let anyone put you off.

It's a good idea in theory but it's been mentioned before and unfortunately it's open to abuse, as some people have pointed out.

No need to apologise.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Pushy in messages is a warning that they will be pushy in person so I prefer to keep things as they are.

What does put me off op is being referred to as someone's wife within this context.

That's entirely fair... I was being glib... I'm sorry about that."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh look. Another guy bashing other guys thread. I'm sure the women will be swooning over you after this

(Yes, I see the irony in this post....)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It was only a passing thought... I didn't mean to upset anyone... I'm not exactly campaigning for it, just wondering (sorry, I do that...)

You can post whatever you want, don't let anyone put you off.

It's a good idea in theory but it's been mentioned before and unfortunately it's open to abuse, as some people have pointed out.

No need to apologise.

Seems like there is...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh look. Another guy bashing other guys thread. I'm sure the women will be swooning over you after this

(Yes, I see the irony in this post....) "

Wasn't my intention... at all...

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

[Removed by poster at 10/12/15 13:39:51]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"It was only a passing thought... I didn't mean to upset anyone... I'm not exactly campaigning for it, just wondering (sorry, I do that...)

You can post whatever you want, don't let anyone put you off.

It's a good idea in theory but it's been mentioned before and unfortunately it's open to abuse, as some people have pointed out.

No need to apologise.

Seems like there is..."

You haven't been rude or implied that your opinion is the only one worth holding so there isn't any need.

If you post something here people will state opposing views, point out possible flaws or possibly even agree with you...they have the right to do that as do you.

Disagreement is not the same as taking offence

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It was only a passing thought... I didn't mean to upset anyone... I'm not exactly campaigning for it, just wondering (sorry, I do that...)

You can post whatever you want, don't let anyone put you off.

It's a good idea in theory but it's been mentioned before and unfortunately it's open to abuse, as some people have pointed out.

No need to apologise.

Seems like there is...

You haven't been rude or implied that your opinion is the only one worth holding so there isn't any need.

If you post something here people will state opposing views, point out possible flaws or possibly even agree with you...they have the right to do that as do you.

Disagreement is not the same as taking offence

Still, wasn't my intention to be holier than thou... As a new person here, I have questions... Probably should have searched the forum history before speaking.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"It was only a passing thought... I didn't mean to upset anyone... I'm not exactly campaigning for it, just wondering (sorry, I do that...)

You can post whatever you want, don't let anyone put you off.

It's a good idea in theory but it's been mentioned before and unfortunately it's open to abuse, as some people have pointed out.

No need to apologise.

Seems like there is...

You haven't been rude or implied that your opinion is the only one worth holding so there isn't any need.

If you post something here people will state opposing views, point out possible flaws or possibly even agree with you...they have the right to do that as do you.

Disagreement is not the same as taking offence

Still, wasn't my intention to be holier than thou... As a new person here, I have questions... Probably should have searched the forum history before speaking.

Just ask, some will give you straight answers you just need to filter the others out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not sure anyone would abuse a rating system, what would be the point? I know because I've spoken to a few people on here who have had bad experiences with pushy guys and I'm not saying to get rid of the block button but supplement it. It might make people more careful with what they say and be a warning to others if they don't."

We have had a few abusive messages from men that we have rejected (but only a few). We just block and report them. Job done. No need for any additional system.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why you on here slagging other guys?

the old white knight routine gets a bit tiresome "

Oh you know what they say about white knights; strong thighs from all that horsemanship

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

Once you've had a meet or two OP the need to have your messages rated will fade into the background.

I can appreciate that, until then,you may feel quite sensitive and need some kind of approval of your messages, but it's more often the profile that really determines whether you'll get a reply and an eventual meet..

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By *ezjez369Man
over a year ago

london

I was told I was pushy a few weeks ago by a single fem who I'd replied to, exchanged pics with and chatted to on here. A few days later I sent a "hiya, how's your day?" Message mid morning and as I hadn't heard back (but shed been online most of the day & opened the message), I sent another that evening asking pretty much the same.

I can see how that may come across potentially but it literally was just keeping in touch.

Tis hard to keep everyone happy I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was told I was pushy a few weeks ago by a single fem who I'd replied to, exchanged pics with and chatted to on here. A few days later I sent a "hiya, how's your day?" Message mid morning and as I hadn't heard back (but shed been online most of the day & opened the message), I sent another that evening asking pretty much the same.

I can see how that may come across potentially but it literally was just keeping in touch.

Tis hard to keep everyone happy I suppose"

You did what????!!!! Holy cow. Beware of the man on a mighty steed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm about as laid back as they come, I'm not pushy at all, even my intro message doesn't ask to meet straight away, sometimes I think cause I don't push to meet I don't get a reply, but my messages are always polite and tailored to the recipients profile.

Being pushy doesn't get you anywhere. Being arrogant doesn't work either.

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"I'm about as laid back as they come, I'm not pushy at all, even my intro message doesn't ask to meet straight away, sometimes I think cause I don't push to meet I don't get a reply, but my messages are always polite and tailored to the recipients profile.

Being pushy doesn't get you anywhere. Being arrogant doesn't work either."

I don't believe there's been any disagreement on this point in the thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit like real life in some sense, what some see as attentive others will see as pushy and that in my mind would be the problem. Unless administration are going to check the messages sent and received any system would be open to abuse. For example if a couple approached a single guy which he rebuffed they may get sore about it and hey presto poor rating and I assume administration don't have time to check the hundreds of report button presses now let alone another 100 a day.

Personally this system works fine for us. If we are sure we do not want to meet a couple/person block, delete message. If someone is abusive we generally just block and move on.

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

Yes, if someone is too pushy (or otherwise unpleasant), I just delete and block.

Absolutely no need for a rating system, which I'm sure would be misused.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm perplexed as to why you are bemused on behalf of others. How strange. And no i don't want a communications rating. I'm capable of making my own mind up who i want to communicate with and who i don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm perplexed as to why you are bemused on behalf of others. How strange. And no i don't want a communications rating. I'm capable of making my own mind up who i want to communicate with and who i don't."

3.5 out of 5

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooh dear you all sound so up tight and tense go shag someone geeze.

Op.. I fully understand. Bad experiences suck for us all.

A dump bin.. Shit that be half of fab. Its a fun site.

Taking it too seriously.

Your headline.. Was pushy. Then you say you ask if you can fuck peoples wives. No mention of pushy.

The communication.. The blocking.. No mention of pushy.

A rather mixed post nothing to do with pushy.!!!!!

Ok so op has posted but dont get personal. That sucks too!

Admin..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously, as a guy myself, I've never been on the receiving end of it, but I have noticed that many women and couples here have had to develop a pretty severe hair trigger with the block button.

So this can basically be summed up as "I'm frequently getting blocked, I can't possibly be the problem or that they don't fancy me so it absolutely must be they block me as other men are pushy"

Cause that's not how it works

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to block someone from a message they sent...

They may just not do it for me...

But if I get an abusive message I will block...

Everyone has a different aspect as to what offends them

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"It was only a passing thought... I didn't mean to upset anyone...

It wasn't my intention to be holier than thou... "

Yeah right...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not all guys are pushy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not all guys are pushy!

Who said that they were?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not all guys are pushy!

Who said that they were?"

Sounded like the OP was suggesting lots were.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But that would leave it down to opinion as opposed to fact...which in some cases wouldnt be fair?

Im sure some guys who I refused to meet would love to say I'm rude and ruin my future meets!

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

But that would leave it down to opinion as opposed to fact...which in some cases wouldnt be fair?

Im sure some guys who I refused to meet would love to say I'm rude and ruin my future meets!"

Exactly.

Rejected males would be uploading bad comments left right and centre just to get revenge.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I've been sleeping with this bloke's wife and today he sent me this text:

"You go near her again and ill have you dead! mark my words!"

To which I replied:

"8 out of 10, I'll requires an apostrophe and a capital I.".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong, I understand... You see someone's wife who you really want to have sex with and you have to ask... I do that, we all do that here...

We all do it? Really? Some of us have a bit more respect! I've never asked anyone if I can have sex with his wife!

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

"Don't get me wrong, I understand... You see someone's wife who you really want to have sex with and you have to ask... I do that, we all do that here...

We all do it? Really? Some of us have a bit more respect! I've never asked anyone if I can have sex with his wife!

I think the OP needs to have been on the site quite a bit longer before declaring what we all do here....

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