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My biggest frustration on Fab

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By *ivinefox OP   Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

Is that until I've met someone for real and spent some time with them, I don't know if there's enough of an attraction to want to go further. Just exchanging messages or photos isn't enough as attraction is a more visceral thing and mutual chemistry can't be ascertained just by words on a screen. In a club it's obviously completely different, I can tell within minutes if I'm attracted to someone and would enjoy playing with them.

I don't really know what I'm asking but I sometimes find the whole thing so frustrating and time consuming, wonder how other people deal with this...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we don't spend much time exchanging messages etc.....

Providing a potential,meet looks good , we meet and go from there . 90% of the time it's great and we have a good time , the other 10% it's a no thanks as we don't connect .

But as you say , until you actually meet you just don't know . Way too much time is wasted by so many on here exchanging messages , instead of cracking on with a meet .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we don't spend much time exchanging messages etc.....

Providing a potential,meet looks good , we meet and go from there . 90% of the time it's great and we have a good time , the other 10% it's a no thanks as we don't connect .

But as you say , until you actually meet you just don't know . Way too much time is wasted by so many on here exchanging messages , instead of cracking on with a meet ."

Soooo true well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we don't spend much time exchanging messages etc.....

Providing a potential,meet looks good , we meet and go from there . 90% of the time it's great and we have a good time , the other 10% it's a no thanks as we don't connect .

But as you say , until you actually meet you just don't know . Way too much time is wasted by so many on here exchanging messages , instead of cracking on with a meet ."

But there's two of you so you have the safety aspect covered from the start.

As a single woman meeting men on my own, I have to look after my own safety so I do probably chat a bit longer on here to get more of a feel for someone.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I always have a social meet in a public place and someone else knows where I am and who I am with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We just go to clubs and parties these days.... Problem solved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been quite good at sniffing out my kind of man vis messages and pics. Messages are very important to me because they convey a personality. As I'm not turned on by someone's body (although the can be turned off by a face)I have to get into someone's mind to want sex with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we don't spend much time exchanging messages etc.....

Providing a potential,meet looks good , we meet and go from there . 90% of the time it's great and we have a good time , the other 10% it's a no thanks as we don't connect .

But as you say , until you actually meet you just don't know . Way too much time is wasted by so many on here exchanging messages , instead of cracking on with a meet .

Soooo true well said"

What he said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we don't spend much time exchanging messages etc.....

Providing a potential,meet looks good , we meet and go from there . 90% of the time it's great and we have a good time , the other 10% it's a no thanks as we don't connect .

But as you say , until you actually meet you just don't know . Way too much time is wasted by so many on here exchanging messages , instead of cracking on with a meet .

But there's two of you so you have the safety aspect covered from the start.

As a single woman meeting men on my own, I have to look after my own safety so I do probably chat a bit longer on here to get more of a feel for someone."

That's what I do and it works for me so far

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Men who press for an early social meet put me off. I explain that I talk here to get the feel of someone. I don't want to sit in pub after pub with men I'm not comfortable with.

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I guess there are a fair few people on here who must like last minute or sur of moment meets, but most want to get to know people a little or more first...Takes all sorts.

Either way, if not comfortble or attracted in some way, then best to not take things further...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we don't spend much time exchanging messages etc.....

Providing a potential,meet looks good , we meet and go from there . 90% of the time it's great and we have a good time , the other 10% it's a no thanks as we don't connect .

But as you say , until you actually meet you just don't know . Way too much time is wasted by so many on here exchanging messages , instead of cracking on with a meet ."

I don't like chatting for ages, it gets boring. Early social meet then go from there.

Do whatever works for you OP.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I usually know within two or three messages whether there's going to be a meet, so its not so much a waste of time for me.

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By *ivinefox OP   Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

But how can you tell? I really can't...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Is that until I've met someone for real and spent some time with them, I don't know if there's enough of an attraction to want to go further. Just exchanging messages or photos isn't enough as attraction is a more visceral thing and mutual chemistry can't be ascertained just by words on a screen. In a club it's obviously completely different, I can tell within minutes if I'm attracted to someone and would enjoy playing with them.

I don't really know what I'm asking but I sometimes find the whole thing so frustrating and time consuming, wonder how other people deal with this...?"

There's not much you can do about it really unless you just stick to clubs.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"But how can you tell? I really can't..."

If I haven't scared them off, then they're worth the effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely minimal chat on here, just arrange to meet and go from there, you cannot garner any real feeling about a person on here, peoples online persona is generally so far removed from the physical reality, the elongated chats are boring, say very little and take up too much time

Chat for a day arrange a meet and meet

Chat for a day no meet arranged, move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We just go to clubs and parties these days.... Problem solved. "

Best for us too - still have some frustrating mo!ents of course - but have never felt the whole evening was a waste of time - always some fun - even if its only social chat m x

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By *ivinefox OP   Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

I agree meeting people in clubs is much better. Just wish there was a magic formula for sussing out pp you will click with. Of course there isn't, attraction only really exists in the real world ( smell is v important apparently...)

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)


"I agree meeting people in clubs is much better. Just wish there was a magic formula for sussing out pp you will click with. Of course there isn't, attraction only really exists in the real world ( smell is v important apparently...)"

....don't get the smell bit though .... you talking BO ????? Yuk xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Men who press for an early social meet put me off. I explain that I talk here to get the feel of someone. I don't want to sit in pub after pub with men I'm not comfortable with. "

Ditto

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)


"I agree meeting people in clubs is much better. Just wish there was a magic formula for sussing out pp you will click with. Of course there isn't, attraction only really exists in the real world ( smell is v important apparently...)

....don't get the smell bit though .... you talking BO ????? Yuk xxxx"

Ooooopppppps meant thumb ....lol that's better

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By *uzzybeWoman
over a year ago

Darlington


"Well we don't spend much time exchanging messages etc.....

Providing a potential,meet looks good , we meet and go from there . 90% of the time it's great and we have a good time , the other 10% it's a no thanks as we don't connect .

But as you say , until you actually meet you just don't know . Way too much time is wasted by so many on here exchanging messages , instead of cracking on with a meet .

But there's two of you so you have the safety aspect covered from the start.

As a single woman meeting men on my own, I have to look after my own safety so I do probably chat a bit longer on here to get more of a feel for someone."

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we don't spend much time exchanging messages etc.....

Providing a potential,meet looks good , we meet and go from there . 90% of the time it's great and we have a good time , the other 10% it's a no thanks as we don't connect .

But as you say , until you actually meet you just don't know . Way too much time is wasted by so many on here exchanging messages , instead of cracking on with a meet .

But there's two of you so you have the safety aspect covered from the start.

As a single woman meeting men on my own, I have to look after my own safety so I do probably chat a bit longer on here to get more of a feel for someone.

Totally agree"

Yep if there are two of you going to meet someone you know you'll have a good time because you always have each other there. If I'm going to meet someone on my own I'm not to prepared to just go on a whim and not know if it will be a total waste of my time. It's not even just the safety aspect. I often wonder if the couples who say they despise socials would feel the same if they were going to meet someone on their own.

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By *ivinefox OP   Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

Apparently smell is v important in determining physical attraction and no I don't mean BO! It's about the pheromones...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's exactly why I try an arrange a social asap, longer you message each other, bigger the potential for disappointment x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is that until I've met someone for real and spent some time with them, I don't know if there's enough of an attraction to want to go further. Just exchanging messages or photos isn't enough as attraction is a more visceral thing and mutual chemistry can't be ascertained just by words on a screen. In a club it's obviously completely different, I can tell within minutes if I'm attracted to someone and would enjoy playing with them.

I don't really know what I'm asking but I sometimes find the whole thing so frustrating and time consuming, wonder how other people deal with this...?"
hey you'll just wind up wasting his time just stick to the NSA swinging that you know and feel comfortable with hey and get him in a club you'll know instantly wether you fancy him then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well we don't spend much time exchanging messages etc.....

Providing a potential,meet looks good , we meet and go from there . 90% of the time it's great and we have a good time , the other 10% it's a no thanks as we don't connect .

But as you say , until you actually meet you just don't know . Way too much time is wasted by so many on here exchanging messages , instead of cracking on with a meet .

But there's two of you so you have the safety aspect covered from the start.

As a single woman meeting men on my own, I have to look after my own safety so I do probably chat a bit longer on here to get more of a feel for someone.

Totally agree

Yep if there are two of you going to meet someone you know you'll have a good time because you always have each other there. If I'm going to meet someone on my own I'm not to prepared to just go on a whim and not know if it will be a total waste of my time. It's not even just the safety aspect. I often wonder if the couples who say they despise socials would feel the same if they were going to meet someone on their own. "

As one of the couples who despise socials we truly don't know how we would feel as a single .

Sorry

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By *aisyDoandDaisyDontWoman
over a year ago

little old town of Reading!


"Men who press for an early social meet put me off. I explain that I talk here to get the feel of someone. I don't want to sit in pub after pub with men I'm not comfortable with. "

Absolutely agree with this.

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