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"Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?" I don't think so - not the 'right' guys, anyway. Anyone who is so impatient they can't be bothered with a social is less likely to be a decent person to get to know, I think. | |||
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"Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys? I don't think so - not the 'right' guys, anyway. Anyone who is so impatient they can't be bothered with a social is less likely to be a decent person to get to know, I think." | |||
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"Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys? I don't think so - not the 'right' guys, anyway. Anyone who is so impatient they can't be bothered with a social is less likely to be a decent person to get to know, I think." And also more likely to be a selfish fuck. So pass-by that type of guy. | |||
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"We haven't met single guys for a while and are discussing getting back into it. We've always played pretty much on first meet but now reckon we'd perhaps feel more comfortable if we had a social meet first with a single guy as it's less pressure and you know the person a bit more before playing so more relaxed. However we get the feeling that the 'in demand' guys with good veris maybe can't be bothered with socials first. Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?" There are two types of social meets. 1) You meet in public and if you all get along you can play. Or 2) Just meeting for a quick drink with no chance of play. Which one more suits you? | |||
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"I don't think guys are necessarily selfish fucks for not wanting socials. I used to do mainly spontaneous sex meets and they can be amazing, yeah had a few guys (out of 100 or so) be selfish and i had a crap time but most guys i met this way do get off on pleasing women as well as themselves." I agree with this. We prefer a social first, even if its to play afterwards. But I don't think guys that aren't looking for that are going to necessarily be selfish when it comes to sex. We are all looking for different things. -Courtney | |||
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"I wouldn't meet anyone who wouldn't agree to a social first. If they don't want to spend a bit of time sussing me out too then they probably would shag anything." Well said!! | |||
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"Maybe so but why not meet for a social? Maybe I just have more free time than some people " Nothing wrong with socials either, just i was saying if guys don't want one it doesn't mean they're gonna be crap in bed or selfish, but seeing as you don't know much about them then you won't know until it's too late and they've blown their load in 5 mins and gone haha. Sometimes it's ok to want to sex when you want it, if socials are necessary then nothing wrong with that either. I don't meet for spontaneous sex with people idk any more myself at the minute. | |||
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"Social meets are fine and a good idea...the idea that there are 'in demand' men that can bypass this I do find amusing though...like some chaps have a personal assistant to vet and arrange meets like pop stars and gigs. That image does amuse me... Good luck and hope you meet good people" In our experience there are such guys. We have had one guy who didn't even prepare for the meet when we turned up at his. Said 'yeah sometimes the couple doesn't even turn up' and just acted as if he was in such demand that he didn't really need to try. We've found these guys (not always) tend to be the one's who have porn star cocks, vwe or bbc. As we say not all but the demand is high for these guys from couples so we've found some can't be bothered with a social. They do exist | |||
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"I find lots (not all) of 'fit' guys arent interested in socials first. What the OP said is true they are in demand so why bother? This is why I don't meet much at the moment with new people " I think it's more to do with time. Let's face it. Attractive people usually get more attention. So if you have 5 people willing to meet you. Let's 3 want you to come over and play. 1 wants a social with a chance of play that night , 1 wants a social with no chance of play. Who would you choose? Another thing I noticed is that most not all attractive people usually are dating or in a relationship. So their free time is limited. They have to use their excuses wisely. So a social is not in the cards. | |||
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"We haven't met single guys for a while and are discussing getting back into it. We've always played pretty much on first meet but now reckon we'd perhaps feel more comfortable if we had a social meet first with a single guy as it's less pressure and you know the person a bit more before playing so more relaxed. However we get the feeling that the 'in demand' guys with good veris maybe can't be bothered with socials first. Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?" We always meet socially first and every single man we have met has agreed to that and some suggest it first. The main thing is to do as YOU wish, if a guy doesn't want a social first you aren't suited to each other. | |||
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"I wouldn't meet anyone who wouldn't agree to a social first. If they don't want to spend a bit of time sussing me out too then they probably would shag anything." Absolute nonsense . Sorry but that sweeping generalisation is way off the mark . If a guy is after NSA sex , he can see from pics , a quick chat on line and veris if he wants to get straight to the business . Just as we can . Just because he doesn't want to suss you out in person , it doesn't mean he would shag anything at all . | |||
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"I find lots (not all) of 'fit' guys arent interested in socials first. What the OP said is true they are in demand so why bother? This is why I don't meet much at the moment with new people I think it's more to do with time. Let's face it. Attractive people usually get more attention. So if you have 5 people willing to meet you. Let's 3 want you to come over and play. 1 wants a social with a chance of play that night , 1 wants a social with no chance of play. Who would you choose? Another thing I noticed is that most not all attractive people usually are dating or in a relationship. So their free time is limited. They have to use their excuses wisely. So a social is not in the cards. " LOL wrong. I insist on socials first. If he tries talking me out of it then delete and move on. My body my safety and my choice and plenty more fish in the sea. Also im single so no excuses needed for me. If someone isn't my type I'll just tell him. | |||
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"i think it all just kind of boils down to what kind of person were trying to meet really. i dont want to sleep with someone who has been around this whole site and doesnt care who theyre fucking and some people dont really care about all that kind of thing. " Why do you presume that those who have had lots of meets don't care who they are fucking ? | |||
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"i think it all just kind of boils down to what kind of person were trying to meet really. i dont want to sleep with someone who has been around this whole site and doesnt care who theyre fucking and some people dont really care about all that kind of thing. " Wish more like you lived nearer me . Top attitude! | |||
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"i think it all just kind of boils down to what kind of person were trying to meet really. i dont want to sleep with someone who has been around this whole site and doesnt care who theyre fucking and some people dont really care about all that kind of thing. " Having sex with lots of people doesn't mean you don't care who you're doing it with. Nobody on here is superior to anyone else just because they've had fewer sexual partners. | |||
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"I'm good either way. And sometimes pics can be very flattering so a social gives both the opportunity to back out. " yep and sometimes pictures can be very out of date | |||
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"As a single guy who's hoping to start meeting soon, I would definitely prefer a social meet first. Helps to ease the pressure a little and you can see if there's a connection or not. And there's nothing stopping you playing there and then if all are comfortable to do so." Yeah but we keep getting thrown out of Starbucks when that happens | |||
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"As a single guy who's hoping to start meeting soon, I would definitely prefer a social meet first. Helps to ease the pressure a little and you can see if there's a connection or not. And there's nothing stopping you playing there and then if all are comfortable to do so. Yeah but we keep getting thrown out of Starbucks when that happens " | |||
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"i wasnt saying lots of meets = you dont care who youre fucking but if youre not willing to vet people before fucking them surely that means you dont care so much? im not meaning to offend anyone its just kind of how it looks." We always meet socially, that's how I'm most comfortable but the length of time between meeting and having sex isn't really that significant in terms of how much you care who you're having sex with. It is all casual sex no matter how we dress it up. | |||
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"i wasnt saying lots of meets = you dont care who youre fucking but if youre not willing to vet people before fucking them surely that means you dont care so much? im not meaning to offend anyone its just kind of how it looks." Ah but that's what I'm saying . We get over 50 offers every time we post a meet . So by choosing a couple from that many means we care as much as the next person . What we don't care for is a night spent making small talk with no opportunity to play . As you said there are some who just look to play and some who like a social first . But as another poster said , wanting a social first doesn't make that person any more selective or better than those who don't . | |||
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"i didnt mean that you're superior for having less meets or anything like that im just saying that people are different. i would like to vet the people im going to meet rather than just saying yes and going through with it even if im not keen (or letting them down by backing out of it at the last minute)." It's understood by most that if there's no chemistry when you meet you don't go ahead. | |||
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"It doesn't matter how many photos you've seen or how much of a connection you've got via messaging, you don't know if there's a proper mutual attraction until you meet. Social is really important because I know if I arranged a sex meet straight away, I'd find it almost impossible to back out and feel obligated to go ahead." Never once have we felt obliged to go ahead . It's not difficult to back out , we have done so many times . | |||
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"I think this thread shows again that we all have our own way of doing things none of which are wrong. " hear hear! | |||
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"I think this thread shows again that we all have our own way of doing things none of which are wrong. " Yes indeed , and I love the comment - it's all meeting for casual sex no matter how you dress it up . Genius | |||
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"It doesn't matter how many photos you've seen or how much of a connection you've got via messaging, you don't know if there's a proper mutual attraction until you meet. Social is really important because I know if I arranged a sex meet straight away, I'd find it almost impossible to back out and feel obligated to go ahead." | |||
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"surely thats the point of having a social then? to make sure that doesnt happen? " Use reply+quote and we'll know who you're replying to. | |||
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"surely thats the point of having a social then? to make sure that doesnt happen? " You will surely have noticed the comments such as ensuring the social is just that . A meet which there will be no expectation of playing . When we meet there is always the expectation of play - assuming there is a connection . This may take 5 minutes to establish or half an hour . | |||
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"This thread has gotten very off topic from the OP's question -Courtney" I'm not sure it has , we as a couple have said how it works with the single guys we meet . Directly responding to the op . Ok it's gone on a bit of a tangent , but often that's the way of it when posts suggest ways of swinging aren't to their liking ..... | |||
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"This thread has gotten very off topic from the OP's question -Courtney I'm not sure it has , we as a couple have said how it works with the single guys we meet . Directly responding to the op . Ok it's gone on a bit of a tangent , but often that's the way of it when posts suggest ways of swinging aren't to their liking ..... " Right. I understand, but I think that the social/not social debate is only tangentially related to the OP. You are of course free to have it | |||
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"This thread has gotten very off topic from the OP's question -Courtney I'm not sure it has , we as a couple have said how it works with the single guys we meet . Directly responding to the op . Ok it's gone on a bit of a tangent , but often that's the way of it when posts suggest ways of swinging aren't to their liking ..... Right. I understand, but I think that the social/not social debate is only tangentially related to the OP. You are of course free to have it " By "have it" I mean the debate, of course - not the social | |||
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"We haven't met single guys for a while and are discussing getting back into it. We've always played pretty much on first meet but now reckon we'd perhaps feel more comfortable if we had a social meet first with a single guy as it's less pressure and you know the person a bit more before playing so more relaxed. However we get the feeling that the 'in demand' guys with good veris maybe can't be bothered with socials first. Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?" Yes it would | |||
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"How's that Courtney ? " Succinct. I approve!! -Courtney | |||
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"OP, I think you have to decide how important socials are to you. You will likely miss out on some guys, though not all, if you insist on socials. Are ok with that? And that will likely answer your questions. Have fun! -Courtney" Think we will go with the guys who will spend the time on a separate social meet. Seems more our thing | |||
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"We tend to like chatting for a bit even pre social! Time is precious when you have kids so we need to suss out potential time wasters and see if there is any kind of click before we arrange anything. M&M X " after seeing this lady on cam i cant see why anyone would want to waste her time though. any opportunity to meet her would be a blessing so if offered a social.. take it! | |||
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"I've never come across a guy on here who hasn't agreed to a social. I make it clear that for anything to happen I need to see them in the flesh before I can agree to anything else. When you're in contact with guys that are extremely handsome they'll also want to see you in the flesh before deciding if they will do anything else. I don't think asking for socials first would put anyone off. " maybe thats why i like socials... i must just be really handsome lol | |||
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"We tend to like chatting for a bit even pre social! Time is precious when you have kids so we need to suss out potential time wasters and see if there is any kind of click before we arrange anything. M&M X after seeing this lady on cam i cant see why anyone would want to waste her time though. any opportunity to meet her would be a blessing so if offered a social.. take it! " How sweet!! | |||
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"I've never come across a guy on here who hasn't agreed to a social. I make it clear that for anything to happen I need to see them in the flesh before I can agree to anything else. When you're in contact with guys that are extremely handsome they'll also want to see you in the flesh before deciding if they will do anything else. I don't think asking for socials first would put anyone off. " It totally depends on what one is looking for , distance , and time . There is no way we would arrange and pay a babysitter , travel 50 miles and have a social . Nor would we expect a single guy to do that either . While we make it clear that play isn't a given , 90% of the time if happens . The other 10% when we don't is either because we don't connect or they are nothing like we were led to believe . its a common question by single guys in messages - can we play if we click . So in reality there are lots of single guys who ddon't want to do socials . | |||
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"I've never come across a guy on here who hasn't agreed to a social. I make it clear that for anything to happen I need to see them in the flesh before I can agree to anything else. When you're in contact with guys that are extremely handsome they'll also want to see you in the flesh before deciding if they will do anything else. I don't think asking for socials first would put anyone off. It totally depends on what one is looking for , distance , and time . There is no way we would arrange and pay a babysitter , travel 50 miles and have a social . Nor would we expect a single guy to do that either . While we make it clear that play isn't a given , 90% of the time if happens . The other 10% when we don't is either because we don't connect or they are nothing like we were led to believe . its a common question by single guys in messages - can we play if we click . So in reality there are lots of single guys who ddon't want to do socials ." I'd be too scared see, been had with side profile pictures of guys and soft focus wizardry in pictures, making them look more handsome than they are in the flesh. I can't trust a picture. | |||
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" I'd be too scared see, been had with side profile pictures of guys and soft focus wizardry in pictures, making them look more handsome than they are in the flesh. I can't trust a picture. " But surely this works both ways no? I met a girl recentky and she was triple the size protrayed in her photos,the thing is I have no problem with big girls but I felt liee to by the profile. | |||
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"In my opinion definitely a social meet first there has to be some attraction and chemistry. otherwise it's a no go." Sure , but assuming profile and pics are good and on meeting you connect , wouldn't you want to play ? Especially if , as an example , you met us here in Gloucester ? 100 mile journey for a coffee ..... | |||
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"Doesn't mean it can't lead to something else but just don't expect it to. If the sex is worth it surely the trip is worth the time and effort? Or look nearer to home? We're not telling you how to live your life and you can't tell us how to live ours but I just know that for me, and others here a social is pretty important. " I'm certainly not telling anyone how to live their life ! The original question was would a couple miss opportunities to meet some single guys if they insisted on a social first . My answer , based on factual experience was and remains - yes . I don't care one way or another whether you or anyone else feel a social is important . It's inconsequential to me , just as much as my opinion should be to you | |||
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"To us the social side has always been important as like the social side as well as the play. But finding more and more guys do not want the social side, and when we tell them we prefer to meet for coffee or pint they seem to make excuses why they can not. Not all the same but a good few seem that way now." Yea I like the social side too, I like to connect with a meet in more than just a purely physical level-whether they be talking complete bollcoks about the weather or having a convo about football etc | |||
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