FabSwingers.com forum: Single guys and Social Meets

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We haven't met single guys for a while and are discussing getting back into it.

We've always played pretty much on first meet but now reckon we'd perhaps feel more comfortable if we had a social meet first with a single guy as it's less pressure and you know the person a bit more before playing so more relaxed.

However we get the feeling that the 'in demand' guys with good veris maybe can't be bothered with socials first. Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones not in demand do tend to be more likely to be up for this the first meet i've found. I've met some great guys and have met less selfish men (and had way more amazing sex) by getting to know the guys a little or by having socials and take the pressure off beforehand. I think it's because i'm less likely to feel like i'm using them and them with me.

Been on socials with fuck buddies who are popular also but that was after meeting a few times, i think they just wanted to do something a bit different but weren't comfortable about asking for something more social in case it looked like they weren't NSA maybe? I don't actually know why it happened lol.

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By *bear25Man
over a year ago

Maidstone

Regardless of being in demand a social meet is nice for guys as well. I certainly do them with no expectations of more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I prefer social meets first, lets either party back out if they decide the other isn't what they were looking for. I'm not that desperate that I'll jump into bed with anyone and everyone, has to be a bit of attraction for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better sex for me if you meet first....got to be chemistry and banter face to face hard to get personality across on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have met some really hot guys (at least, I think they are hot) and most have been happy with a social first. We always reserve the right to play afterwards if the mood strikes (and if everyone has enough time).

-Courtney

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I might not be one of the in demand guys... However I'm always happy to meet socially first..p

I've said it often... If I'm not comfortable in a social setting with the folks I'm meeting, it's going to be really uncomfortable when we're all naked..

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By *ilderMan
over a year ago

dublin

Social meets are essential to determine if there's a click which is so important. Sometimes depending on the planned meet then a social meet isn't always arranged but personally for what it's worth I prefer having a social meet in advance

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?"

I don't think so - not the 'right' guys, anyway. Anyone who is so impatient they can't be bothered with a social is less likely to be a decent person to get to know, I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?

I don't think so - not the 'right' guys, anyway. Anyone who is so impatient they can't be bothered with a social is less likely to be a decent person to get to know, I think."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always have a social first- no exceptions. If they don't like it.....tough

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I like socials - I like to know that I fancy the lady before I have sex with her and with no doubt the same applies for her with me.

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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

I enjoy social meets as much as anything and prefer to meet socially initially anyway.

At the end of the day if you want to meet socially and a guy can't be bothered then I guess he's not for you x

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By *ratty_DamselWoman
over a year ago

Greater London

"Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?

I don't think so - not the 'right' guys, anyway. Anyone who is so impatient they can't be bothered with a social is less likely to be a decent person to get to know, I think."

And also more likely to be a selfish fuck.

So pass-by that type of guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We haven't met single guys for a while and are discussing getting back into it.

However we get the feeling that the 'in demand' guys with good veris maybe can't be bothered with socials first. Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?"

There are two types of social meets.

1) You meet in public and if you all get along you can play.

2) Just meeting for a quick drink with no chance of play.

Which one more suits you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think social meets are fine. I would hate to turn up at a woman's house and have to explain once there that I'm not feeling it. If you're not at least open to a Social beforehand chances are you're a selfish fuck and not worth the time anyway. It doesn't go to say a

That a social is necessary with everyone though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think guys are necessarily selfish fucks for not wanting socials.

I used to do mainly spontaneous sex meets and they can be amazing, yeah had a few guys (out of 100 or so) be selfish and i had a crap time but most guys i met this way do get off on pleasing women as well as themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe so but why not meet for a social? Maybe I just have more free time than some people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think guys are necessarily selfish fucks for not wanting socials.

I agree with this.

We prefer a social first, even if its to play afterwards. But I don't think guys that aren't looking for that are going to necessarily be selfish when it comes to sex. We are all looking for different things.

-Courtney

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I wouldn't meet anyone who wouldn't agree to a social first.

If they don't want to spend a bit of time sussing me out too then they probably would shag anything.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"I wouldn't meet anyone who wouldn't agree to a social first.

If they don't want to spend a bit of time sussing me out too then they probably would shag anything."

Well said!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe so but why not meet for a social? Maybe I just have more free time than some people

Nothing wrong with socials either, just i was saying if guys don't want one it doesn't mean they're gonna be crap in bed or selfish, but seeing as you don't know much about them then you won't know until it's too late and they've blown their load in 5 mins and gone haha.

Sometimes it's ok to want to sex when you want it, if socials are necessary then nothing wrong with that either. I don't meet for spontaneous sex with people idk any more myself at the minute.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

You could have the best social meet ever with someone and they will still be crap in bed. Being a good person doesn't make them a lothario.

Having said that, its a nice, non-threatening way to find out if someone is your type, if the messaging has been somewhat inconclusive.

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

I find lots (not all) of 'fit' guys arent interested in socials first. What the OP said is true they are in demand so why bother?

This is why I don't meet much at the moment with new people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We should say by social we mean a meet which has no expectation of play. Play would happen on a subsequent meet.

We have meet socially for a drink but played on the same night. We're now thinking setting the ground rules as no play on social means there is no expectation or pressure to make a decision in front of someone. Just in case we confused people with our first post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/12/15 20:44:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with a drink and a flirt!

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Social meets are fine and a good idea...the idea that there are 'in demand' men that can bypass this I do find amusing though...like some chaps have a personal assistant to vet and arrange meets like pop stars and gigs. That image does amuse me...

Good luck and hope you meet good people

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Social meets are fine and a good idea...the idea that there are 'in demand' men that can bypass this I do find amusing though...like some chaps have a personal assistant to vet and arrange meets like pop stars and gigs. That image does amuse me...

Good luck and hope you meet good people"

In our experience there are such guys. We have had one guy who didn't even prepare for the meet when we turned up at his. Said 'yeah sometimes the couple doesn't even turn up' and just acted as if he was in such demand that he didn't really need to try. We've found these guys (not always) tend to be the one's who have porn star cocks, vwe or bbc. As we say not all but the demand is high for these guys from couples so we've found some can't be bothered with a social. They do exist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find lots (not all) of 'fit' guys arent interested in socials first. What the OP said is true they are in demand so why bother?

This is why I don't meet much at the moment with new people

I think it's more to do with time. Let's face it. Attractive people usually get more attention. So if you have 5 people willing to meet you. Let's 3 want you to come over and play. 1 wants a social with a chance of play that night , 1 wants a social with no chance of play. Who would you choose?

Another thing I noticed is that most not all attractive people usually are dating or in a relationship. So their free time is limited. They have to use their excuses wisely. So a social is not in the cards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't really comment too much on this one as we've never done a social .

We have however met a fair few single guys , all of whom have said they don't see the point of social meets first .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We haven't met single guys for a while and are discussing getting back into it.

However we get the feeling that the 'in demand' guys with good veris maybe can't be bothered with socials first. Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?"

We always meet socially first and every single man we have met has agreed to that and some suggest it first.

The main thing is to do as YOU wish, if a guy doesn't want a social first you aren't suited to each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't meet anyone who wouldn't agree to a social first.

If they don't want to spend a bit of time sussing me out too then they probably would shag anything."

Absolute nonsense .

Sorry but that sweeping generalisation is way off the mark .

If a guy is after NSA sex , he can see from pics , a quick chat on line and veris if he wants to get straight to the business . Just as we can .

Just because he doesn't want to suss you out in person , it doesn't mean he would shag anything at all .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social meet first always as there has to be some chemistry. Why wouldn't you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find lots (not all) of 'fit' guys arent interested in socials first. What the OP said is true they are in demand so why bother?

This is why I don't meet much at the moment with new people

LOL wrong. I insist on socials first. If he tries talking me out of it then delete and move on. My body my safety and my choice and plenty more fish in the sea. Also im single so no excuses needed for me. If someone isn't my type I'll just tell him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think it all just kind of boils down to what kind of person were trying to meet really. i dont want to sleep with someone who has been around this whole site and doesnt care who theyre fucking and some people dont really care about all that kind of thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think it all just kind of boils down to what kind of person were trying to meet really. i dont want to sleep with someone who has been around this whole site and doesnt care who theyre fucking and some people dont really care about all that kind of thing.

Why do you presume that those who have had lots of meets don't care who they are fucking ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish more like you lived nearer me

. Top attitude!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Having sex with lots of people doesn't mean you don't care who you're doing it with. Nobody on here is superior to anyone else just because they've had fewer sexual partners.

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By *lashheartMan
over a year ago

shrewsbury

I'm good either way.

And sometimes pics can be very flattering so a social gives both the opportunity to back out.

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

As a single guy who's hoping to start meeting soon, I would definitely prefer a social meet first. Helps to ease the pressure a little and you can see if there's a connection or not. And there's nothing stopping you playing there and then if all are comfortable to do so.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I'm good either way.

And sometimes pics can be very flattering so a social gives both the opportunity to back out. "

yep and sometimes pictures can be very out of date

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"As a single guy who's hoping to start meeting soon, I would definitely prefer a social meet first. Helps to ease the pressure a little and you can see if there's a connection or not. And there's nothing stopping you playing there and then if all are comfortable to do so."

Yeah but we keep getting thrown out of Starbucks when that happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/12/15 23:26:01]

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

Yeah but we keep getting thrown out of Starbucks when that happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i didnt mean that you're superior for having less meets or anything like that im just saying that people are different.

i would like to vet the people im going to meet rather than just saying yes and going through with it even if im not keen (or letting them down by backing out of it at the last minute).

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"i wasnt saying lots of meets = you dont care who youre fucking but if youre not willing to vet people before fucking them surely that means you dont care so much? im not meaning to offend anyone its just kind of how it looks."

We always meet socially, that's how I'm most comfortable but the length of time between meeting and having sex isn't really that significant in terms of how much you care who you're having sex with. It is all casual sex no matter how we dress it up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It doesn't matter how many photos you've seen or how much of a connection you've got via messaging, you don't know if there's a proper mutual attraction until you meet. Social is really important because I know if I arranged a sex meet straight away, I'd find it almost impossible to back out and feel obligated to go ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah but that's what I'm saying .

We get over 50 offers every time we post a meet .

So by choosing a couple from that many means we care as much as the next person .

What we don't care for is a night spent making small talk with no opportunity to play .

As you said there are some who just look to play and some who like a social first . But as another poster said , wanting a social first doesn't make that person any more selective or better than those who don't .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"i didnt mean that you're superior for having less meets or anything like that im just saying that people are different.

i would like to vet the people im going to meet rather than just saying yes and going through with it even if im not keen (or letting them down by backing out of it at the last minute)."

It's understood by most that if there's no chemistry when you meet you don't go ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It doesn't matter how many photos you've seen or how much of a connection you've got via messaging, you don't know if there's a proper mutual attraction until you meet. Social is really important because I know if I arranged a sex meet straight away, I'd find it almost impossible to back out and feel obligated to go ahead."

Never once have we felt obliged to go ahead .

It's not difficult to back out , we have done so many times .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think this thread shows again that we all have our own way of doing things none of which are wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

surely thats the point of having a social then? to make sure that doesnt happen?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this thread shows again that we all have our own way of doing things none of which are wrong.

hear hear!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this thread shows again that we all have our own way of doing things none of which are wrong.

Yes indeed , and I love the comment - it's all meeting for casual sex no matter how you dress it up . Genius

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By *R and BlondieCouple
over a year ago

Bebington, wirral

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"surely thats the point of having a social then? to make sure that doesnt happen?

Use reply+quote and we'll know who you're replying to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"surely thats the point of having a social then? to make sure that doesnt happen?

You will surely have noticed the comments such as ensuring the social is just that . A meet which there will be no expectation of playing .

When we meet there is always the expectation of play - assuming there is a connection . This may take 5 minutes to establish or half an hour .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread has gotten very off topic from the OP's question

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread has gotten very off topic from the OP's question

-Courtney"

I'm not sure it has , we as a couple have said how it works with the single guys we meet . Directly responding to the op .

Ok it's gone on a bit of a tangent , but often that's the way of it when posts suggest ways of swinging aren't to their liking .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread has gotten very off topic from the OP's question

-Courtney

I'm not sure it has , we as a couple have said how it works with the single guys we meet . Directly responding to the op .

Ok it's gone on a bit of a tangent , but often that's the way of it when posts suggest ways of swinging aren't to their liking ..... "

Right. I understand, but I think that the social/not social debate is only tangentially related to the OP. You are of course free to have it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread has gotten very off topic from the OP's question

-Courtney

I'm not sure it has , we as a couple have said how it works with the single guys we meet . Directly responding to the op .

Ok it's gone on a bit of a tangent , but often that's the way of it when posts suggest ways of swinging aren't to their liking .....

Right. I understand, but I think that the social/not social debate is only tangentially related to the OP. You are of course free to have it

By "have it" I mean the debate, of course - not the social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We haven't met single guys for a while and are discussing getting back into it.

However we get the feeling that the 'in demand' guys with good veris maybe can't be bothered with socials first. Would asking for a social first rule us out from meeting quite a lot of guys?"

Yes it would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How's that Courtney ?

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By *vadownMan
over a year ago

Wickham

i have hardly any experience and quite new to this scene, but for me as a red bloodied male the social meet is an essential, i agree with many comments particularly if you don't feel comfortable in the presence of folk socially imagine the foggy energy when naked. sex is always better when you naturally want to mate, kinkerly all be it to some..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How's that Courtney ?

Succinct. I approve!!

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I think you have to decide how important socials are to you. You will likely miss out on some guys, though not all, if you insist on socials. Are ok with that? And that will likely answer your questions.

Have fun!

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/12/15 00:37:57]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OP, I think you have to decide how important socials are to you. You will likely miss out on some guys, though not all, if you insist on socials. Are ok with that? And that will likely answer your questions.

Have fun!

-Courtney"

Think we will go with the guys who will spend the time on a separate social meet. Seems more our thing

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By *ammyslutWoman
over a year ago

worthing

I think it depends how much time you have spare. I dont get much. In an ideal world i would do a social everytime but this is not always possible

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By *ingdong91Man
over a year ago

shropshire

I always prefer a social but due to work and spare time it's not always possible. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We tend to like chatting for a bit even pre social! Time is precious when you have kids so we need to suss out potential time wasters and see if there is any kind of click before we arrange anything.

M&M

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We tend to like chatting for a bit even pre social! Time is precious when you have kids so we need to suss out potential time wasters and see if there is any kind of click before we arrange anything.

M&M

after seeing this lady on cam i cant see why anyone would want to waste her time though. any opportunity to meet her would be a blessing so if offered a social.. take it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never come across a guy on here who hasn't agreed to a social. I make it clear that for anything to happen I need to see them in the flesh before I can agree to anything else. When you're in contact with guys that are extremely handsome they'll also want to see you in the flesh before deciding if they will do anything else. I don't think asking for socials first would put anyone off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've never come across a guy on here who hasn't agreed to a social. I make it clear that for anything to happen I need to see them in the flesh before I can agree to anything else. When you're in contact with guys that are extremely handsome they'll also want to see you in the flesh before deciding if they will do anything else. I don't think asking for socials first would put anyone off. "

maybe thats why i like socials... i must just be really handsome lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

M&M

after seeing this lady on cam i cant see why anyone would want to waste her time though. any opportunity to meet her would be a blessing so if offered a social.. take it!

How sweet!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It totally depends on what one is looking for , distance , and time .

There is no way we would arrange and pay a babysitter , travel 50 miles and have a social . Nor would we expect a single guy to do that either .

While we make it clear that play isn't a given , 90% of the time if happens . The other 10% when we don't is either because we don't connect or they are nothing like we were led to believe .

its a common question by single guys in messages - can we play if we click .

So in reality there are lots of single guys who ddon't want to do socials .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It totally depends on what one is looking for , distance , and time .

There is no way we would arrange and pay a babysitter , travel 50 miles and have a social . Nor would we expect a single guy to do that either .

While we make it clear that play isn't a given , 90% of the time if happens . The other 10% when we don't is either because we don't connect or they are nothing like we were led to believe .

its a common question by single guys in messages - can we play if we click .

So in reality there are lots of single guys who ddon't want to do socials ."

I'd be too scared see, been had with side profile pictures of guys and soft focus wizardry in pictures, making them look more handsome than they are in the flesh. I can't trust a picture.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

I do a public social coffee first. If they don't want to or won't I end communication. That simple

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By *LT22Man
over a year ago

Teddington

In my opinion definitely a social meet first there has to be some attraction and chemistry. otherwise it's a no go.

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By *xyzptlk088Man
over a year ago

Galway

I'd be too scared see, been had with side profile pictures of guys and soft focus wizardry in pictures, making them look more handsome than they are in the flesh. I can't trust a picture. "

But surely this works both ways no? I met a girl recentky and she was triple the size protrayed in her photos,the thing is I have no problem with big girls but I felt liee to by the profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In my opinion definitely a social meet first there has to be some attraction and chemistry. otherwise it's a no go."

Sure , but assuming profile and pics are good and on meeting you connect , wouldn't you want to play ?

Especially if , as an example , you met us here in Gloucester ?

100 mile journey for a coffee .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't mean it can't lead to something else but just don't expect it to. If the sex is worth it surely the trip is worth the time and effort? Or look nearer to home? We're not telling you how to live your life and you can't tell us how to live ours but I just know that for me, and others here a social is pretty important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im finding just to get a socail meet is an achievement tbh on this site and i dont mind a social first because theres has been one or two occasions wheb i was on another site like this i found the woman to be a tit lol and just for the record i get off when i know a womans getting off haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doesn't mean it can't lead to something else but just don't expect it to. If the sex is worth it surely the trip is worth the time and effort? Or look nearer to home? We're not telling you how to live your life and you can't tell us how to live ours but I just know that for me, and others here a social is pretty important. "

I'm certainly not telling anyone how to live their life !

The original question was would a couple miss opportunities to meet some single guys if they insisted on a social first .

My answer , based on factual experience was and remains - yes .

I don't care one way or another whether you or anyone else feel a social is important . It's inconsequential to me , just as much as my opinion should be to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer a social meet with couples.Everyone gets a feel for eachother,sometimes literally,and there's no pressure on anyone to play.

Sometimes you meet people and you don't click,and it's hugely important that both the male and female of a couple like the single male.

You have already broken the ice then if you get to a play meet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To us the social side has always been important as like the social side as well as the play. But finding more and more guys do not want the social side, and when we tell them we prefer to meet for coffee or pint they seem to make excuses why they can not. Not all the same but a good few seem that way now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To us the social side has always been important as like the social side as well as the play. But finding more and more guys do not want the social side, and when we tell them we prefer to meet for coffee or pint they seem to make excuses why they can not. Not all the same but a good few seem that way now."

Yea I like the social side too, I like to connect with a meet in more than just a purely physical level-whether they be talking complete bollcoks about the weather or having a convo about football etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is fantastic.

It's like a contest to see who can piss furthest up the "I'm a better swinger" wall.

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