FabSwingers.com forum: What defines a Timewaster??

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everyone

I've had 2 recent incidences on FAB where it's been insinuated that I'm a timewaster and I'd like some opinions on what YOU consider to be timewasting behaviour.

Scenario 1: Single Bi Male (SBM) contacts me offering to help verify me, but expects me to travel to Stanley, which is actually pretty awkward from Wallsend. I explain I'm happy to meet socially, but somewhere mutually agreeable, Like Newcastle. Cynical SBM gets increasingly derogatory as correspondence continues, even after a social meet verification by someone else. SBM belittles my efforts to show I'm genuine so I blocked him.

Predictably, he uses a 2nd account to send abusive mail but I deleted it without reading and blocked the 2nd account.

Scenario 2: Arranged a social meet at a gym with another SBM (seems only SBM's are willing to help verify me socially) but unfortunately my induction at my new gym is scheduled for the same evening. I try to reschedule meet with SBM, but he is dismissive and makes me feel like I was wasting his time and never wanted to meet in the first place (untrue).

As I said before, I already have one social verification, so I would like to know why some people on this page cannot see beyond their own want and desires?

I have a life of my own and unfortunately things like that happen, right?

Am I being too sensitive about it?

Would really appreciate some advice.

Thanks very much for reading

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me, a time waster is someone you arrange a meet with, time place etc then spend time getting ready and travelling only for them to no show with no contact or last minute dubious excuse. The 2 scenarios you have described are not what any decent person would consider time wasting, at least I don't think so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither of these defines a timewaster, a timewaster to me is someone who doesn't turn up at the arranged place and time.

I'm trying to figure out though why you feel the need for me social verifications now you have one? The best place is actually an orgnaised social or club where you meet people.

If you want profile advice I'll happily give it but as you haven't asked I shan't.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

For me a timewaster is someone who arranges to meet but doesn't turn up or constantly cancels minutes before they are due to be there (not that I would give them that many chances to cancel).

Someone who chats but doesn't arrange anything or the scenarios you have described don't fall in the timewaster category for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To me, a time waster is someone you arrange a meet with, time place etc then spend time getting ready and travelling only for them to no show with no contact or last minute dubious excuse. The 2 scenarios you have described are not what any decent person would consider time wasting, at least I don't think so. "

Yep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finding time wasters can be a self fulfilling prophesy as sometimes we almost expect it and jump on the assumption when something goes wrong just to prove ourselves right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah we wouldn't class that as time-wasting either

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By *inky BunnyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Finding time wasters can be a self fulfilling prophesy as sometimes we almost expect it and jump on the assumption when something goes wrong just to prove ourselves right.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Neither of these defines a timewaster, a timewaster to me is someone who doesn't turn up at the arranged place and time.

I'm trying to figure out though why you feel the need for me social verifications now you have one? The best place is actually an orgnaised social or club where you meet people.

If you want profile advice I'll happily give it but as you haven't asked I shan't."

Please do - always happy to receive advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was meeting up to give you your first verification only I would expect it at my convenience

After all I am just meeting you to verify you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Neither of these defines a timewaster, a timewaster to me is someone who doesn't turn up at the arranged place and time.

I'm trying to figure out though why you feel the need for me social verifications now you have one? The best place is actually an orgnaised social or club where you meet people.

If you want profile advice I'll happily give it but as you haven't asked I shan't."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm trying to figure out though why you feel the need for me social verifications now you have one? The best place is actually an orgnaised social or club where you meet people.

A fair question.

I started chatting to all 3 at about the same time, so both social meets were booked before I actually met someone

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

Someone travelling at the speed of light but doing something unproductive whilst doing it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone who speaks to you for ages as a friend and says they want to meet ,says they will meet in New year because they are busy then show a recent verification or someone youve talked to for ages then organise a meet them let you down on day

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By *xxwiganMan
over a year ago

LEIGH

Predictably, he uses a 2nd account to send abusive mail but I deleted it without reading and blocked the 2nd account."

If you deleted the message without reading how did you know it was abusive?

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

You dont come across as a time waster.

Time waster for me.. as above.. say they will meet and never turn up.. or keep cancelling and then never have decency to apologise and re schedule.. or anothertime waster are the "we will meet soon" people and soon never happens.

Appreciate things happen and we have to re schedule.. but at least you had decency to let other person know.

Dont think you did any.. so chin up.. their loss am sure. Good luck in your next venture.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi op

How did you know message was abusive if you not read it?

Time waster.. Someone who arranges to meet but no show

Happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Someone who speaks to you for ages as a friend and says they want to meet ,says they will meet in New year because they are busy then show a recent verification"

They may have planned that meeting weeks ago, which is why they were busy and unavailable for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone who speaks to you for ages as a friend and says they want to meet ,says they will meet in New year because they are busy then show a recent verification or someone youve talked to for ages then organise a meet them let you down on day

Or they just wanted to meet their new verification more than you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Predictably, he uses a 2nd account to send abusive mail but I deleted it without reading and blocked the 2nd account.

If you deleted the message without reading how did you know it was abusive?"

The title of the message and the first few words were enough to know it was going to be an immature rant

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the replies everyone.

It's greatly appreciated

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By *ill4cherMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Quite a few people seem to label as timewasters anyone not able or willing to respond immediately to their desires.

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By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman
over a year ago

south yorkshire

Biggest time waste for me is people who don't read my profile before contacting me, usually says on their profile that they don't want to be contacted by time wasters! Kettle & pot comes to my mind. They're usually the ones who moan about not getting replies too. Your scenarios definitely don't seem like timewasting to me. X

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

"Quite a few people seem to label as timewasters anyone not able or willing to respond immediately to their desires."

Exactly I've had that, got slated for not being able to ring back immediately as I was out with friends

It's like aren't you allowed to have a life, are most sat at home next to the laptop and phone poised for action!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A time waster would be someone wasting any of my time. Even chatting shit to me is wasting my time. This is my opinion and you can't argue with it, other people have a different opinion that's all.

You just have to find techniques to stop people wasting your time, like chat to loads of people, only give as much time to a person that you find acceptable, things like this.

I get that people have lives and sometimes have plausible excuses for not being up for what is agreed. Trying to arrange something and finding out you're not compatible isn't wasting time exactly, well not purposely anyway and shouldn't be used as an excuse to have a go at someone coz you're frustrated about it, imo.

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By *allandeagerMan
over a year ago

Essex

I had a timewaster last night. Arranged to meet at theirs at 9pm, waited in the car because "they weren't ready yet" and that was fine. After an hour I asked if they were nearly done.... Sat there for 2 hours and then they gave me the wrong address which was really awkward!

I understand people change their minds but an explanation and an apology would have been fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You sat there for 2 hours???? I'd have been gone after about 30 minutes. Shit thing to happen though hun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me a time waster is a lady who spends 30mins wanking me & only 10mins sucking my cock when she's only here for an hour

OP, i wouldn't consider you a time waster even though i never really read your initial post

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By *ouisebottomTV/TS
over a year ago

London

I get called a timewasters because I don't do meets straight away I would prefer to get to know someone first! I've lost count of the hate messages I have had because of it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No comment on timewasters

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Definition of a timewaster to me, is if a meet was arranged and confirmed and I got ready and they where a no show.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Actually if I was at home and they didn't turn up I'd be miffed but would just carry on doing stuff anyway.

If I'd of actually gone out of the house to a meet and they didn't show I'd be well pissed off.

But i wouldn't be waiting around all night, sometimes so ething happens and people run late, but they are quite capable of sending a text message.

I'm pretty easy about people turning up on time if they come here as they have usually had to travel a distance.

But I've never had anyone that's running more than a few minutes late not text me to let me know what's happening.

Did have one guy 3 hours late once but that's another story bless him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or they just wanted to meet their new verification more than you?

X"
well theirs that as well someone new and more appealing comes along every two seconds ,we have no chance ,where's my wurthers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me a time waster is a lady who spends 30mins wanking me & only 10mins sucking my cock when she's only here for an hour

OP, i wouldn't consider you a time waster even though i never really read your initial post

the other 20 minutes in the loo trying to put her contact lens in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The phraze time waster can sometimes be used out of context on here to bully and as intimidation

One guy said I was simply because I object to him rubbing my leg and starin at my chest as soon as we sat down at pub, telling me or rather my chest what we be doin in his car later .no car action had been discuss let alone agreed and I said talk to me not my tits and get of my leg.we having a drink to see if we click nothin more he replied ohhhh ur a tease I like that so tell me are u gonna swallow when u suck me later.....

I ended the meetin n was called alot of things inc timewaster but In my eyes he was not me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The phraze time waster can sometimes be used out of context on here to bully and as intimidation

I ended the meetin n was called alot of things inc timewaster but In my eyes he was not me."

Bitter people who don't get what they want always seem throw their toys out of the pram and are quick to call people time wasters. You see it on status updates all the time, its sad. Just because they didn't want to meet someone doesn't mean they're timewasters. Far too many people assume too much on here it seems.

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