FabSwingers.com forum: Stalker

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone had a stalker and how did you deal with it?

I met someone about 3 years ago (not on this site but another fishy one) we met few times, had sex it was ok but tried to tell him I was bored and I'd had enough of him and it was over.

He bombarded me with messages, basically told me I should meet up with him and that I would be having sex with him again very soon (I took this as threat to rape me).

He sent me photos of me and told me he would send them to my boss.

Told me he loved me and we were meant to be.

Ignored him completely as advised by police but even 6 months later I would still get the occasional message asking if I'd changed my mind

What drives people to behave in this way? How have others dealt with it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best way is ignoring. Giving them any attention good or bad is what they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We got a female stalker of 4 years ,police are now only just taking it seriously from vanilla life we must add been a horrible last few years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone had a stalker and how did you deal with it?

I met someone about 3 years ago (not on this site but another fishy one) we met few times, had sex it was ok but tried to tell him I was bored and I'd had enough of him and it was over.

He bombarded me with messages, basically told me I should meet up with him and that I would be having sex with him again very soon (I took this as threat to rape me).

He sent me photos of me and told me he would send them to my boss.

Told me he loved me and we were meant to be.

Ignored him completely as advised by police but even 6 months later I would still get the occasional message asking if I'd changed my mind

What drives people to behave in this way? How have others dealt with it?"

People that behave in this manner are obsessives pure and simple.

If it weren't you they'd latched onto - it'd be someone else.

The only good thing I can see in your predicament, is that his messages are now sporadic - means he's set his sights on a new 'victim' most likely, but still hedging his bets with you as he's not sure how this new one's going as yet.

Just continue ignoring him. He'll tire of it eventually.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We got a female stalker of 4 years ,police are now only just taking it seriously from vanilla life we must add been a horrible last few years "

4 years sounds nightmare. Poor things

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

I had an ex boyfriend stalk me by driving by/ parking outside my old house, sending gifts with cryptic messages to my work, fb, texts, calls, turning up to events mutual friends told him I'd be at, etc for about 3+years,obviously I blocked him on phone, social media, cut out all mutual friends and informed the police, after that he just stuck to hanging about in my local supermarket, near my house. I've moved cities now so finally have some peace. Though after hearing his child had asbergers, I thought he might have spectrum elements too as he struggled to understand others feelings and had very blinkered thinking. The relief when I moved was immense. I feel for anyone who has this experience as it can be so unpleasant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, it have never happened to me, but yeah ignore them is best.

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

Eta, didn't move Because of him ! I think some people don't understand what's inappropriate, but the police weren't that helpful in my case Tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knew a girl at work who spent most of her time chasing this guy.

In the morning when people in office asked her what she'd been doing last night - she said ' I parked up outside his house for a while'.

She was good at fronting it out though - back then it didn't seem that bad a thing to do. Gave us something to talk about

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