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Ok first post need advice...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hey I have a singles swinging profile and we also have a couples.

I have played with several women alone and we have had one joint experience. This weekend I organised the fella to have a meet with another woman alone. He was at home at his and I was at home at mine (we have a long distance relation ) and I was fully involved via text/video chat. I thought it was really hot and definatly wanted it to happen again. However the fella told me today that he feels really guilty and doesn't want it to happen again. How do I prove to him that it really hasn't bothered me that he's played alone?

As a footnote I know he's texting her still and THAT gets on my nerves.... weird I know.... any advice would be awesome xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's he feel guilty about exactly?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Everything! That he played alone... that he had sex and I didn't that day... He didn't feel this way when we had a threesome.... I just don't get it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah i don't get it because he's still in contact with her so doesn't seem that bothered really. I don't know him though but his actions seem to contradict what he says.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

That's what I was thinking.

If he really didn't want it to happen again why not just tell her... could it be he wants it to happen again but me not to be as involved as I was (I was kinda directing and guiding) xx

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

Perhaps his mind is telling him something that makes him uncomfortable...hence the guilt.

"What?" is the million dollar question

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If he was new to swinging I'd understand but it was him that introduced me to the lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nip it in the bud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's what I was thinking.

If he really didn't want it to happen again why not just tell her... could it be he wants it to happen again but me not to be as involved as I was (I was kinda directing and guiding) xx"

It could be this yeah, it's also possible now he's met someone on his own he knows what it's like for you meeting on your own and he's not liking that idea.

I would focus more on getting the truth out of him rather than try to figure it out yourself, because that will give you your answer. If he's not the type of person to be truthful then idk what else to do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nip it in the bud"

In what sense? Put a stop to swinging totally? I don't think I could do that... xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"That's what I was thinking.

If he really didn't want it to happen again why not just tell her... could it be he wants it to happen again but me not to be as involved as I was (I was kinda directing and guiding) xx

It could be this yeah, it's also possible now he's met someone on his own he knows what it's like for you meeting on your own and he's not liking that idea.

I would focus more on getting the truth out of him rather than try to figure it out yourself, because that will give you your answer. If he's not the type of person to be truthful then idk what else to do."

I will try and talk to him later.... Thanks. .. It sucks coz I love this lifestyle

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By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington

Are you in a relationship or just buddies who are swinging together?

It sounds like he saying to you what he thinks you want to hear - thats an assumption because we only get one side of the tory - but if he is still texting her, that makes for uncomfortable reading if he is saying one thing and doing another…. unless his texts are saying exactly the same to the other woman, that he can't do it again because of his guilt?

It needs a heart to heart with him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nip it in the bud

In what sense? Put a stop to swinging totally? I don't think I could do that... xx"

Ask to see the texts (if you don't already), I definitely would. They'll give you a clearer view of what's happening. If she's wanting to see him alone (without you directing etc) how would you feel?

Don't give any ultimatums re swinging -

ultimatums never end well.

Talk, talk and talk again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good luck. Hope he lets you know what's going on in his head.

There's plenty of guys into this lifestyle and looking for someone to do it with, but that'd mean starting all over again so i get how hard that can be too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are you in a relationship or just buddies who are swinging together?

It sounds like he saying to you what he thinks you want to hear - thats an assumption because we only get one side of the tory - but if he is still texting her, that makes for uncomfortable reading if he is saying one thing and doing another…. unless his texts are saying exactly the same to the other woman, that he can't do it again because of his guilt?

It needs a heart to heart with him"

We are in a proper relationship have been together 3 years swinging properly for just over a year. If he's just letting her know that he can't do it again then surely it would be 2 maybe 3 texts and that's it.... but that's not the case... I'm so confused by him... he's here on Friday will have a proper chat to him .... xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Nip it in the bud

In what sense? Put a stop to swinging totally? I don't think I could do that... xx

Ask to see the texts (if you don't already), I definitely would. They'll give you a clearer view of what's happening. If she's wanting to see him alone (without you directing etc) how would you feel?

Don't give any ultimatums re swinging -

ultimatums never end well.

Talk, talk and talk again x "

Me Not directing wouldn't bother me as long as he gave me all the gory details once the meet is over... I play with females alone and he doesn't direct I just tell him everything once it's over... never gonna give him an ultimatum but maybe it's only going to be threesomes from now on if he's not playing alone... *sigh* lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He did it and didn't enjoy it, so I don't think you should push any further.

You probably wouldn't be happy if he kept nagging you to fuck a man just so he's happy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He did it and didn't enjoy it, so I don't think you should push any further.

You probably wouldn't be happy if he kept nagging you to fuck a man just so he's happy. "

He enjoyed it at the time though and all Saturday night and all through yesterday he was literally buzzing about it yet this morning he tells me otherwise.... and I don't fuck other men only ladies and he really doesn't need to push me to do that I do it freely lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He did it and didn't enjoy it, so I don't think you should push any further.

You probably wouldn't be happy if he kept nagging you to fuck a man just so he's happy.

He enjoyed it at the time though and all Saturday night and all through yesterday he was literally buzzing about it yet this morning he tells me otherwise.... and I don't fuck other men only ladies and he really doesn't need to push me to do that I do it freely lol xxx"

I think you missed my point. Don't push someone into doing something they would rather not do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok had a chat with the fella and he's decided he wants to put a stop to swinging.... not much I can say to that really so there ya go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a bit shit for you but yeah you can't force him.

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