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Open marriage

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By *ottscpl2014 OP   Couple
over a year ago

nottingham/derby

So weve spoke and decided that aswel as the swinging side of things together we are also going to meet singles and have fun as long as were honest with each other and tell each other what's going on then theres really no issues.

My question is to others who do this how do you usually go about meeting the third party? Do you tell them the situation or do you 'play single'?

Were both on the usual dating sites and got open relationship as our status which for her isn't an issue (lads don't care) but I feel for me they won't believe it and think I'm a cheat.

Any advice from anyone in this situation much appreciated.

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By *cuk11Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

As long as you are both open and honest with each other whats stopping you from doing both playing single and being open?

When being open just put a disclaimer that you are happy to let the other party talk to your partner on the phone or on webcam to verify she is ok with it if they like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As long as you are both open and honest with each other whats stopping you from doing both playing single and being open?

When being open just put a disclaimer that you are happy to let the other party talk to your partner on the phone or on webcam to verify she is ok with it if they like."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just out of interest, what's motivated you to consider this?

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By *ottscpl2014 OP   Couple
over a year ago

nottingham/derby

We have spoke about it for a while. Were both comfortable with each other and trust each other 100% so why not? You only have one life so.might aswel live it.

We have written out a list of rules that we have both agreed to and will stick to so its just to have fun.

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

Would be interested in this thread if it returns to the OP's question. I am of the same opinion that it is easier for my OH to see people as a single if she wants to than it is for me; given the number of married men on here who are cheating on their wives.

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By *ottscpl2014 OP   Couple
over a year ago

nottingham/derby


"Would be interested in this thread if it returns to the OP's question. I am of the same opinion that it is easier for my OH to see people as a single if she wants to than it is for me; given the number of married men on here who are cheating on their wives."

This is my main question. But also not just on here, interested in other ways of meeting people aswel. Due to the amounts of single men on here I'm tempted to not even bother setting up a single guy account on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well have you considered joining some poly groups?

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By *ottscpl2014 OP   Couple
over a year ago

nottingham/derby

Its not so much about the sex, its more about the whole chase and chatting/flirting that interests us, as if you were actually dating.

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By *5happycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tooting / dept 23 France


"Its not so much about the sex, its more about the whole chase and chatting/flirting that interests us, as if you were actually dating. "

I would suggest that you are playing with fire if it's the thrill of the chase that you are after. Remember that dating is about finding potential partners and that involves emotions and futures where partners may no longer be included. If you chase together for other couples, then it's a shared excitement which can bond you together, but do it separately and it can drive you apart. Be prepared for the possible consequences and if you still want to go ahead, make sure you have a hood lawyer

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Be honest with people then they can make an informed decision; secrets are not fair to anyone whoever is keeping them.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I'm in a poly relationship - its still new to both of us (only been seeing each other about 18 months, but have been open/poly all that time)

It can be emotionally tough going. Make sure you both know the rules, and also consider how you will feel if one person meets someone, and the other doesn't... and also if it is one off meets, or if you are open to other relationships developing...

I'm no expert, but feel free to PM if you want.

There are some great poly books out there which can help - the one I found suited me most is more than two

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its not so much about the sex, its more about the whole chase and chatting/flirting that interests us, as if you were actually dating.

I would suggest that you are playing with fire if it's the thrill of the chase that you are after. Remember that dating is about finding potential partners and that involves emotions and futures where partners may no longer be included. If you chase together for other couples, then it's a shared excitement which can bond you together, but do it separately and it can drive you apart. Be prepared for the possible consequences and if you still want to go ahead, make sure you have a hood lawyer"

Totally agree. Husband chased female from couple we were with. He n her now in a relationship n im alone!

Watch what u wish for!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had an open relationship several years ago, only made us stronger.

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By *eepster69Man
over a year ago

Dumfries

I think what you are looking to do is crap & selfish if I'm honest. On here we all know it is no strings sex. But if you are going to go 'dating' you are being entirely unfair on the people you meet.

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"I think what you are looking to do is crap & selfish if I'm honest. On here we all know it is no strings sex. But if you are going to go 'dating' you are being entirely unfair on the people you meet."

How so? We are both on dating sites and it explicitly says on our profiles that we are in an open relationship so people know right from the off our situation. If they know and have no problem with it, what's the harm?

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By *eepster69Man
over a year ago

Dumfries


"I think what you are looking to do is crap & selfish if I'm honest. On here we all know it is no strings sex. But if you are going to go 'dating' you are being entirely unfair on the people you meet.

How so? We are both on dating sites and it explicitly says on our profiles that we are in an open relationship so people know right from the off our situation. If they know and have no problem with it, what's the harm? "

The comment was made towards the OP couple. Provided ALL parties know it isn't dating crack on.

I may be reading this wrong, But it looks like they want the thrill of being chatted up, courted etc. And if so they are being incredibly unfair on anyone they meet that isn't privy to their wants.

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"So weve spoke and decided that aswel as the swinging side of things together we are also going to meet singles and have fun as long as were honest with each other and tell each other what's going on then theres really no issues.

My question is to others who do this how do you usually go about meeting the third party? Do you tell them the situation or do you 'play single'?

Were both on the usual dating sites and got open relationship as our status which for her isn't an issue (lads don't care) but I feel for me they won't believe it and think I'm a cheat.

Any advice from anyone in this situation much appreciated. "

We say on our profiles our situation (open relationship/polyamorous) and I would advise you to do the same. People appreciate honesty. If I met someone who 'played single' then I found out they had a partner who knew, I'd feel like I'd been used in a couples game. Plus being up front from the start is a good filter for us then people who are looking for a monogamous partner know not to message : )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its not so much about the sex, its more about the whole chase and chatting/flirting that interests us, as if you were actually dating.

I would suggest that you are playing with fire if it's the thrill of the chase that you are after. Remember that dating is about finding potential partners and that involves emotions and futures where partners may no longer be included. If you chase together for other couples, then it's a shared excitement which can bond you together, but do it separately and it can drive you apart. Be prepared for the possible consequences and if you still want to go ahead, make sure you have a hood lawyer"
yes sorry but to a certain extent I agree with this

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"I think what you are looking to do is crap & selfish if I'm honest. On here we all know it is no strings sex. But if you are going to go 'dating' you are being entirely unfair on the people you meet.

How so? We are both on dating sites and it explicitly says on our profiles that we are in an open relationship so people know right from the off our situation. If they know and have no problem with it, what's the harm?

The comment was made towards the OP couple. Provided ALL parties know it isn't dating crack on.

I may be reading this wrong, But it looks like they want the thrill of being chatted up, courted etc. And if so they are being incredibly unfair on anyone they meet that isn't privy to their wants."

Ah okay. We do actually date though as we're polyamorous

But yes, I agree that honesty is key and everyone has the right to know people's situation. R x

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By *eepster69Man
over a year ago

Dumfries


"

Ah okay. We do actually date though as we're polyamorous

But yes, I agree that honesty is key and everyone has the right to know people's situation. R x"

Polyamorous? Is that a fancy word for horny?

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"

Ah okay. We do actually date though as we're polyamorous

But yes, I agree that honesty is key and everyone has the right to know people's situation. R x

Polyamorous? Is that a fancy word for horny? "

Haha

Means we are open to more than just casual sex with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Ah okay. We do actually date though as we're polyamorous

But yes, I agree that honesty is key and everyone has the right to know people's situation. R x

Polyamorous? Is that a fancy word for horny?

Haha

Means we are open to more than just casual sex with others. "
casual encounters toooooo ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not for us but good luck for those that do..swinging for us is to be able to watch each other do things in the same room thats the kick for us doing things we want to do and that naughty feeling after ..but... we are all different and if people want open relationships then you gotta do what you want as it your life go and enjoy it we say ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its not so much about the sex, its more about the whole chase and chatting/flirting that interests us, as if you were actually dating.

I would suggest that you are playing with fire if it's the thrill of the chase that you are after. Remember that dating is about finding potential partners and that involves emotions and futures where partners may no longer be included. If you chase together for other couples, then it's a shared excitement which can bond you together, but do it separately and it can drive you apart. Be prepared for the possible consequences and if you still want to go ahead, make sure you have a hood lawyer

Totally agree. Husband chased female from couple we were with. He n her now in a relationship n im alone!

Watch what u wish for! "

Yep same here!

We played together for years then she pushed for solo meet and and now we are finished 20+years gone. It's a dangerous game. Think I'm stopping single now.

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By *omo217Man
over a year ago

Sydney

My wife and I have been in an open marriage for 6 months now. We talk all the time about everything. When it comes to meeting people we always tell people the honest scenario and allow the partner to meet the playmate. It makes for a few awkward moments but it skims off the total time wasters. When you do find a good egg it means that they feel more comfortable and it's pretty refreshing for them I imagine.

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By *uthLessKnickersCouple
over a year ago

Cornwall/Devon

We do this and it has enhanced our relationship immensely. When meeting as a single, either through this site or other dating sites we are completely honest from the outset with the third party.

Through doing this, Mr has met through a vanilla dating site a gorgeous lady who has become his sub. Him and she meet alone occasionally but more often now she joins us in our fun and frolics and has become a precious dear friend to us both whom we both cherish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being the lover of a happily married lady with full permission to play as and when we want....

All i can say is over the 3 years i've know them i've watched thier relationship goes from strength to strength.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds good in theory not in practice. Think it can cause lots of jealousy especially where the woman can tend to get to meet men a lot more easily than a man. Plus it's how regular do you meet this person not to allow feelings to develop for this other person and run the risk of tuning your marriage. It is a risky game and not one I would want to play again. Be happy with who you have and and the experiences you get from swinging as a couple. To me of you need to do this alone there is sone thing wrong with your relationship that neither of you are wanting to admit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It sounds good in theory not in practice. Think it can cause lots of jealousy especially where the woman can tend to get to meet men a lot more easily than a man. Plus it's how regular do you meet this person not to allow feelings to develop for this other person and run the risk of tuning your marriage. It is a risky game and not one I would want to play again. Be happy with who you have and and the experiences you get from swinging as a couple. To me of you need to do this alone there is sone thing wrong with your relationship that neither of you are wanting to admit."

I guess as i'm not seen as a threat in any way and yes myself and the wife enjoy some very hot n steamy moments, i can also bear witness to when they are back together how intense they are with each other.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It sounds good in theory not in practice. Think it can cause lots of jealousy especially where the woman can tend to get to meet men a lot more easily than a man. Plus it's how regular do you meet this person not to allow feelings to develop for this other person and run the risk of tuning your marriage. It is a risky game and not one I would want to play again. Be happy with who you have and and the experiences you get from swinging as a couple. To me of you need to do this alone there is sone thing wrong with your relationship that neither of you are wanting to admit.

I guess as i'm not seen as a threat in any way and yes myself and the wife enjoy some very hot n steamy moments, i can also bear witness to when they are back together how intense they are with each other....."

This could simply be because you have stuck to the rules it is simply just sex. Like I said when you over step that mark allow feelings to develop start doing things that you would normally do with a partner that is when problems start. And what you have to realise you can be tossed to one side at any point and also without any explanation. Experience talking lol x

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)


"It sounds good in theory not in practice. Think it can cause lots of jealousy especially where the woman can tend to get to meet men a lot more easily than a man. Plus it's how regular do you meet this person not to allow feelings to develop for this other person and run the risk of tuning your marriage. It is a risky game and not one I would want to play again. Be happy with who you have and and the experiences you get from swinging as a couple. To me of you need to do this alone there is sone thing wrong with your relationship that neither of you are wanting to admit.

I guess as i'm not seen as a threat in any way and yes myself and the wife enjoy some very hot n steamy moments, i can also bear witness to when they are back together how intense they are with each other.....

This could simply be because you have stuck to the rules it is simply just sex. Like I said when you over step that mark allow feelings to develop start doing things that you would normally do with a partner that is when problems start. And what you have to realise you can be tossed to one side at any point and also without any explanation. Experience talking lol x"

I'm in a poly relationship - we are both open to meeting new people. He actually has a regular other lady friend. I admit it was difficult for a start. I've been with him around 18 months, but it has always been open. He meets her more often than I meet other people! I currently have a few other people who I might be seeing - and they are fully aware of my situation with my lover. For us, it does not alter the intensity of what we have - we don't live together, and he is about 150 miles away from me. It takes a whole lot of talking and very open and honest checking in, we also have some rules that we both keep to as well.

TBH there is a danger in any relationship of being "tossed to one side at any point and also without any explanation"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It sounds good in theory not in practice. Think it can cause lots of jealousy especially where the woman can tend to get to meet men a lot more easily than a man. Plus it's how regular do you meet this person not to allow feelings to develop for this other person and run the risk of tuning your marriage. It is a risky game and not one I would want to play again. Be happy with who you have and and the experiences you get from swinging as a couple. To me of you need to do this alone there is sone thing wrong with your relationship that neither of you are wanting to admit.

I guess as i'm not seen as a threat in any way and yes myself and the wife enjoy some very hot n steamy moments, i can also bear witness to when they are back together how intense they are with each other.....

This could simply be because you have stuck to the rules it is simply just sex. Like I said when you over step that mark allow feelings to develop start doing things that you would normally do with a partner that is when problems start. And what you have to realise you can be tossed to one side at any point and also without any explanation. Experience talking lol x

I'm in a poly relationship - we are both open to meeting new people. He actually has a regular other lady friend. I admit it was difficult for a start. I've been with him around 18 months, but it has always been open. He meets her more often than I meet other people! I currently have a few other people who I might be seeing - and they are fully aware of my situation with my lover. For us, it does not alter the intensity of what we have - we don't live together, and he is about 150 miles away from me. It takes a whole lot of talking and very open and honest checking in, we also have some rules that we both keep to as well.

TBH there is a danger in any relationship of being "tossed to one side at any point and also without any explanation" "

2 and bit years on and still going...

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By *ripleXrateDWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"So weve spoke and decided that aswel as the swinging side of things together we are also going to meet singles and have fun as long as were honest with each other and tell each other what's going on then theres really no issues.

My question is to others who do this how do you usually go about meeting the third party? Do you tell them the situation or do you 'play single'?

Were both on the usual dating sites and got open relationship as our status which for her isn't an issue (lads don't care) but I feel for me they won't believe it and think I'm a cheat.

Any advice from anyone in this situation much appreciated. "

Both myself and my bf have decided to start playing solo but we wouldn't call it a open relationship. To us a open relationship is when your free to sleep with anyone at anytime.

The way we plan to do it is we will pre arrange it so we're both meeting solo around the same time.

Also as a female will always find it easier we will make it that I can't play untill he has so we're always around even numbers.

Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So weve spoke and decided that aswel as the swinging side of things together we are also going to meet singles and have fun as long as were honest with each other and tell each other what's going on then theres really no issues.

My question is to others who do this how do you usually go about meeting the third party? Do you tell them the situation or do you 'play single'?

Were both on the usual dating sites and got open relationship as our status which for her isn't an issue (lads don't care) but I feel for me they won't believe it and think I'm a cheat.

Any advice from anyone in this situation much appreciated.

Both myself and my bf have decided to start playing solo but we wouldn't call it a open relationship. To us a open relationship is when your free to sleep with anyone at anytime.

The way we plan to do it is we will pre arrange it so we're both meeting solo around the same time.

Also as a female will always find it easier we will make it that I can't play untill he has so we're always around even numbers.

Xx"

Hope it works for you. It's not as easy as it sounds. We have been there done it and bought the t shirt x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its not so much about the sex, its more about the whole chase and chatting/flirting that interests us, as if you were actually dating.

I would suggest that you are playing with fire if it's the thrill of the chase that you are after. Remember that dating is about finding potential partners and that involves emotions and futures where partners may no longer be included. If you chase together for other couples, then it's a shared excitement which can bond you together, but do it separately and it can drive you apart. Be prepared for the possible consequences and if you still want to go ahead, make sure you have a hood lawyer

Totally agree. Husband chased female from couple we were with. He n her now in a relationship n im alone!

Watch what u wish for! "
this happened to freinds of mine also.

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