FabSwingers.com forum: Magic formula for sussing out time wasters ( as a woman)?

By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

Anyone have one? The amount of time I've had great chats with men who have contacted me and then when it comes to meeting, they miraculously disappear. Just why? And any way of stopping this from happening? It's so frustrating!

I know men complain about time wasters but it happens to us women too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They disappear when a meet is arranged?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't accommodate is a crude filter....but a good start. A single 40yr old guy who can't accommodate has a fair chance of being attached....?

Friend of mine uses this as first filter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know I haven't come across any!

I don't meet often & it can take a while to arrange so maybe that's why I haven't come across any, By the time we get to meet both parties are committed & eager to the meeting up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they want dirty chat (like ask what will you get up to on the meet, or ask about anything sexual) then i ignore that and tell them i'm not into dirty chat.

If you give them anything they can wank over, and you'd be surprised how easy some guys find an excuse to wank lol, then yeah they won't be after a meet at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone have one? The amount of time I've had great chats with men who have contacted me and then when it comes to meeting, they miraculously disappear. Just why? And any way of stopping this from happening? It's so frustrating!

I know men complain about time wasters but it happens to us women too! "
just assume because they are a man and can't read they are time wasters, woe betide a woman to chat to a guy for weeks go on holiday come back ignore said man ,people on here shouldn't throw stones but they do

hugs

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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

Yes I agree, I already do that and don't even reply to the can't accommodate guys. But these are guys I've been chatting to online for a while, good rapport, talk about meeting and then...

Nothing! Never know to say, hey what happened or just leave it? Don't do last minute meets so try to arrange something in advance but even this seems too much for some of the commitment phobes on here..!

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Do you mean they go unlos or stop talking to you? Was just trying to link it to how we meet ... we chat to loads of people, but don't often get as far as arranging meets ... we may say where we are going and hopefully hook up there, if the mood is right ... do you arrange to meet at clubs, or theirs? Are all circumstances the same? When I was meeting guys as a single fem (now only meet women alone) I was never let down, but I tended to meet fairly quickly as I was not looking for social and it was nsa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably had no intentions of meeting. I find that with a lot of guys, but i enjoy chatting to them so we still chat.

But a couple of guys at least think i won't actually fancy them so have put off meets for months until i gave them positive affirmation that i thought they were well fuckable.

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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

They don't go UNLOS, but we talk about a date to meet, a social and then just disappear. Obviously not all guys, but a good percentage. It's so hard to get it right, finding someone you might fancy, be compatible with, is having a phone conversation a good way to go..?

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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

I'm only on here to meet real people and play in real life. It's just a means to an end for me but some people just seem to want to have a fantasy life on here and not have the amazing fun that this site facilitates...!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Might as well change the way you do things on here if it's not working for you, but yeah i think plenty of guys want a fantasy wank life on here. I think the internet has made it so easy for guys to find 'sex' by sitting on their arse in front of a computer that they cba to meet up lol.

I've noticed if you offer a fuck right now then many guys are genuinely interested and will turn up, even at 5am and that. I don't think they're into socials, they see us a sluts and not worthy of that, although many guys are cool with treating us like people. I'd be wary of those guys myself.

It's also possible some guys got bored of talking to you after so long and class you as a time waster?

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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

Oh dear that's so awful but sadly has a ring of truth about it! And I have had some great meets off here but I never know when I chat to someone ( no matter how keen they are), whether we will meet or whether they'll vanish into thin air... Thanks for replying! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No problem.

Same here i never know either, so many guys i presume they don't wanna meet ever but if their chat is good then i don't mind and don't push for meets, they stop mentioning meets even lol.

I did a topic with help on how to figure out time wasters as well, it might help?

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/416732

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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

Thanks Hun I'll check that our. Tried to message you privately but you're blocked to women ( not trying to hit on you lol!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks Hun I'll check that our. Tried to message you privately but you're blocked to women ( not trying to hit on you lol!)"

Might have blocked everyone tbh. It's school holidays so i'm not on here as much usually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Opened my filters for women, think you get a warning message. I'll be around tomorrow.

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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

Problem is, the more it happens, the more sceptical I get towards anyone who is actually genuine...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Problem is, the more it happens, the more sceptical I get towards anyone who is actually genuine..."

It's really hard to figure out yeah. The internet is terrible for meeting up with people or trusting them over it.

So many liars using it to be selfish and dragging genuine people into their BS because it's easy for them to do this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many women won't meet guys who can't accommodate,some might be bullshitters but some genuinely can't for whatever reasons,having said that if I was a woman I would be cautious has well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg. I'm so glad I'm not the only one having this problem!!! It sounds odd but I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me!! I've read so many threads about men saying that women are timewasters. I'm slowly learning tell tale signs, like the can't accomm.

Gonna just keep going. One day someone will meet me. Good luck to you too op. It'll all come good!! Xx

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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

Meet me, I don't let people down

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

My 'magic formula' works like this:

If a guy messages and we chat a bit and it becomes apparent he just wants wank chat I stop talking to him.

If a guy I am chatting to appears to be someone I think I would get on with and enjoy chatting with I ask for a social very quickly. The genuine ones arrange it, the wasters don't. Then I stop talking to them.

I also never believe I will meet anyone until it actually happens. I never feel let down that way

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

When I read this forum title I thought hell I've got to read this! I've been on here for 8 months, I message on here a bit then usually give out my kik address. Then I insist on a Skype video call! Nothing sexual just a quick hi etc. This was after a disastrous meet where the bloke I was supposed to meet was 20yrs older and looked nothing like his prof pics. I've had my share of knobs that want me to instantly sext videos/pics. This generally leads to me reaching for the block button as the people I want to meet prefer to fuck in real life as opposed to online. I also trust my spider senses too if that helps?! OP it's definitely not you hun just in my experience the fakes and timewasters of which there are heaps. I do go on lol apologies!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I've given up to be honest. I have no idea what the guys on here want so have hidden my profile until I work out what I want.

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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

It's a shame that guys are like that is it understandably makes people wary of the genuine ones amongst us.

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By *expuss2015Woman
over a year ago

Planet Sex

I arranged to meet 3 guys in a club we are all a member of but not 1 showed up - didn't even get any message to say sorry can't make it! Good job it was a meet in a club and not elsewhere as that would have made me more mad!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/11/15 13:36:57]

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

I know men complain about time wasters but it happens to us women too! "

Do these guys ever have any meet in person verifications?

But then again some women tell me I've got too many veris and refuse to meet for that reason? Lol, sometimes it seems we can't win whatever we do.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Do these guys ever have any meet in person verifications?"

All the guys who stood me up were meet verified. One was actually still in bed with the woman he'd met the night before while I was twiddling my thumbs in a pub.

I sometimes think some people on here are psychopaths.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet me, I don't let people down

you wanting to meet us all hun? Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if you text a man you become a text buddy

If you fuck a man you become a fuck buddy .

If you go out with a man for meals etc he sees you as a friend .

If you want a man to hang around , you need to provide him with more than just a fuck you need to provide love and affection .

Because chances are if he is just fucking you then he is just fucking loads of others . Same as going out , messaging etc .

Women do this , and I can promise you this does happen . After 2nd or 3 rd message , they offer phone number, and Will go on a date from one phone call.

It does happen , I personally would never message a woman more than 4 or 5 times. As Us men get used to transferring from the lets fuck zone to the sweet friend zone

In fact I would say , that if no offer of a meet within a week then it's a move on .

You work during the day , I would suggest phone calls at say 8 or 9 pm at night is always a good way to out the time wasters and dreamers ,

Only ring the once to ask them for a date .

But the most important thing to do to stop time wasters , is not let them waste your time, take control early . If they don't want to meet you after 3 messages especially if they message your first , they are not going to meet you 4 weeks later after messaging every day .

And the real secret is us blokes know we mess it up by talking ,so w know the longer we message the more chance we have of screwing it up . Understand that and you will get past the time wasters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple way is get a cheap pay as you go mobile then if they don't want an early phone chat alarm bells ring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe the only magic formula is trusting your instinct and listening or acting on gut feelings

Even then you can't guarantee 100% that everyone you chat to intends to meet up

It's the chance you take when you meet people online

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's sad that people become so cynical! I use fab as a tool to stay in contact with those I've met and possibly to arrange to meet others the next time I go to a club.

In my experience if someone wants sex chat then that's not going to go any further. Usually though it's about reading between the lines. It's about what they say and how they say it

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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

"Meet me, I don't let people down

you wanting to meet us all hun? Xx"

I'm not sure I could cope with everyone lol - mind you, there's worse ways to go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Might as well change the way you do things on here if it's not working for you, but yeah i think plenty of guys want a fantasy wank life on here. I think the internet has made it so easy for guys to find 'sex' by sitting on their arse in front of a computer that they cba to meet up lol.

It's also possible some guys got bored of talking to you after so long and class you as a time waster?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My 'magic formula' works like this:

If a guy messages and we chat a bit and it becomes apparent he just wants wank chat I stop talking to him.

I also never believe I will meet anyone until it actually happens. I never feel let down that way

This for me too.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"My 'magic formula' works like this:

If a guy messages and we chat a bit and it becomes apparent he just wants wank chat I stop talking to him.

I also never believe I will meet anyone until it actually happens. I never feel let down that way

This for me too.

I am aware I need to change the way I meet on here, which is why I am hiding my profile for a while. But what happens when you arrange a social meet and they appear keen, but then don't turn up? I wish there was a way to see that one coming so I don't end up sat in a pub waiting.

Thank heavens for my Kindle, that's all I'm saying.

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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

So I guess this is one situation where it's ok to ask the guy to meet, not expecting them to make the first move?

Why would a guy message me, have a good chat online and then just disappear? ( and these are verified ones too!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have found that it just seems to be standard practise on Fab.

Full of dreamers and bedroom masterbaters...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I guess this is one situation where it's ok to ask the guy to meet, not expecting them to make the first move?

Why would a guy message me, have a good chat online and then just disappear? ( and these are verified ones too!)"

Because you did something to put him off. Perhaps you were too pushy or bossy

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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

I don't think I'm pushy or bossy! But I'm probably both a bit wary and impatient after so long on here...

Nothing is real for me until I've met someone in real life, I don't know if I'll be attracted to someone until we've met in person so don't want to spend ages chatting to a stranger online!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My 'magic formula' works like this:

If a guy messages and we chat a bit and it becomes apparent he just wants wank chat I stop talking to him.

I also never believe I will meet anyone until it actually happens. I never feel let down that way

This for me too.

Thank heavens for my Kindle, that's all I'm saying."

I've never arranged a social meet and had them not turn up. I always have a back up plan (cake and coffee usually) so it's not a waste of time if they don't show.

I give up on people quite quickly. If something doesn't seem right I just let them know it won't work and stop chatting, so we're not wasting our time. I don't know if that means I'm lucky or I just have a knack of scaring them off long before a meet is arranged.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"My 'magic formula' works like this:

If a guy messages and we chat a bit and it becomes apparent he just wants wank chat I stop talking to him.

I also never believe I will meet anyone until it actually happens. I never feel let down that way

This for me too.

Thank heavens for my Kindle, that's all I'm saying.

I've never arranged a social meet and had them not turn up. I always have a back up plan (cake and coffee usually) so it's not a waste of time if they don't show.

I didn't spend too much time chatting. The meet was arranged quite quickly and he seemed keen. To be honest there were a couple of warning signs so I should have seen it coming, but he was very much the kind of guy I am attracted to. I was probably blinded by lust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think I'm pushy or bossy! But I'm probably both a bit wary and impatient after so long on here...

Nothing is real for me until I've met someone in real life, I don't know if I'll be attracted to someone until we've met in person so don't want to spend ages chatting to a stranger online!"

then don't, just for a laugh, everyone that messages this week , ask for their phone number so you can ring them to have a chat with a view to asking them for a date one evening .

Even the cock pictures but ask them , to send a face picture as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meet me, I don't let people down

you wanting to meet us all hun? Xx

I'm not sure I could cope with everyone lol - mind you, there's worse ways to go

sure is hun!!!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I don't think I'm pushy or bossy! But I'm probably both a bit wary and impatient after so long on here...

Nothing is real for me until I've met someone in real life, I don't know if I'll be attracted to someone until we've met in person so don't want to spend ages chatting to a stranger online!

then don't, just for a laugh, everyone that messages this week , ask for their phone number so you can ring them to have a chat with a view to asking them for a date one evening .

Even the cock pictures but ask them , to send a face picture as well "

Even the ones who live 200 miles away?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My 'magic formula' works like this:

If a guy messages and we chat a bit and it becomes apparent he just wants wank chat I stop talking to him.

I also never believe I will meet anyone until it actually happens. I never feel let down that way

This for me too.

Thank heavens for my Kindle, that's all I'm saying.

I've never arranged a social meet and had them not turn up. I always have a back up plan (cake and coffee usually) so it's not a waste of time if they don't show.

Sorry, I wasn't inferring it's your fault. Was just saying how I do things.

Sounds like you just need to trust your gut... not your lady bits...

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

" Sounds like you just need to trust your gut... not your lady bits...

I think we just found our magic formula

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think I'm pushy or bossy! But I'm probably both a bit wary and impatient after so long on here...

Nothing is real for me until I've met someone in real life, I don't know if I'll be attracted to someone until we've met in person so don't want to spend ages chatting to a stranger online!

then don't, just for a laugh, everyone that messages this week , ask for their phone number so you can ring them to have a chat with a view to asking them for a date one evening .

Even the cock pictures but ask them , to send a face picture as well

Even the ones who live 200 miles away?

Why not . they may travel the 200 miles , they may be moving here . I would say you seem really nice, but I must state here and now , I won't be travelling 200 miles if you can make the effort Sen me your number

They won't message You back anyway , let alone give you a phone number

Like others say it's all just a big gamble . All you can do is minimise the risk of wasting your time by getting numbers quickly and arranging dates close to home, either at lunch for 30 minutes or in the local McDonald's in the evening .

No point arranging a day of travelling 100 miles for a social for them not to turn up . If some one where to travel some distance , I would. Not even leave to go the first date , till they showed as being close in the near me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Problem is, the more it happens, the more sceptical I get towards anyone who is actually genuine..."

I've had 1 person actually meet from here and been stood up or heard nothing for the week before said meet

So I'm finding this thread very interesting

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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

" Sounds like you just need to trust your gut... not your lady bits...

I think we just found our magic formula

What were the 'warning signs' you mentioned..?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

" Sounds like you just need to trust your gut... not your lady bits...

I think we just found our magic formula

What were the 'warning signs' you mentioned..?"

He postponed the meet, but then texted alternative dates so I thought that was fine. But the one that should have warned me was the fact that he didn't reply to my text the morning of the meet. Rookie mistake.

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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago

Coventry

I've often had men cancel on the day due to 'work', I generally don't give them a second chance anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i try to arrange meets but im not anyones type at the minute or no one likes facial hair. seems to be lots of couples who are in the chat room and only ever men on cam

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The funny thing is that I tick several of these boxes, I won't accommodate as I live with my kids full time, I won't give out my phone number at least not at first and I like to chat as my free time is limited and it may be a month or more before I'm free.

But I'm real, genuine and available. I guess if people want to pigeon hole me and write me off then that's up to them.

I think OP ultimately there will always be people who will let you down, no matter how sophisticated your process. Sometimes you risk being let down. Personally I'd rather risk and be let down than not risk and gain nothing

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"The funny thing is that I tick several of these boxes, I won't accommodate as I live with my kids full time, I won't give out my phone number at least not at first and I like to chat as my free time is limited and it may be a month or more before I'm free.

But I'm real, genuine and available. I guess if people want to pigeon hole me and write me off then that's up to them.

Its the old Fab problem of distance too. I would love to meet you but you're too damn far away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sound me :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wait until they re-join and or contact you again then shoot them down in flames.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I'm real, genuine and available. I guess if people want to pigeon hole me and write me off then that's up to them.

Its the old Fab problem of distance too. I would love to meet you but you're too damn far away.

You would?! Well polish my britches! I'd love to meet you too!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

But I'm real, genuine and available. I guess if people want to pigeon hole me and write me off then that's up to them.

Its the old Fab problem of distance too. I would love to meet you but you're too damn far away.

You would?! Well polish my britches! I'd love to meet you too! "

We'll sort something one day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I'm real, genuine and available. I guess if people want to pigeon hole me and write me off then that's up to them.

Its the old Fab problem of distance too. I would love to meet you but you're too damn far away.

You would?! Well polish my britches! I'd love to meet you too!

We'll sort something one day."

Yes, I'm sure there will be a party or social. I keep meaning to go up to leeds

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By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

I experience this issue to. Most annoying and ruins it for the lovely genuine people on fab. Xx

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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

I know men complain about time wasters but it happens to us women too! "

Like some of the women who have mucked me around, they like the fantasy of meeting but when it comes to reality they can't go through with it. I'd ask around for the guys who can relied upon that are in your area as i know a lot of the popular guys on here get recommended a lot.

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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

"Can't accommodate is a crude filter....but a good start. A single 40yr old guy who can't accommodate has a fair chance of being attached....?

Friend of mine uses this as first filter."

What is stopping a married guy borrowing his mates flat/house and meeting there?. I don't accommodate because i houseshare with friends and it could be a bit awkward if one of them comes in when im at a meet with a couple.

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By *aptain VMan
over a year ago

Birstall, Leicester

Most people on here are married or attached. I met a lass once who told me she was widowed but she was actually in a relationship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very interesting read, especially the limit on messages... I've made that mistake before and continued to message even though their banter was pish.

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By *encarolCouple
over a year ago

Tyneside

Ask to chat on the phone , they soon disappear if they are fake , or they block you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not being able to accommodate is not a sign of being married

I live in the mess on a Army base, so therefore I put down that I can't accommodate, however if you insist I can meet you at the front gate, sign you onto the barracks then escort you to my flat all mod cons and then escort you back to front gate after lol

Just easier to say I can't accommodate but it does not make me married or in a relationship

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Most people on here are married or attached. I met a lass once who told me she was widowed but she was actually in a relationship"

Bates Motel!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only true way to stop filter out timewasters is simply not use the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not being able to accommodate is not a sign of being married

Just easier to say I can't accommodate but it does not make me married or in a relationship "

Nice one

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By *uper GranWoman
over a year ago

Lichfield

I know men complain about time wasters but it happens to us women too! "

A frank talk on the phone usually works a voice and answers to questions without time to think usually s out the time wasters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is no excuse for a man or woman to stand someone up and simply not turn up. Pure ignorance . At the very worst have the decency to let them know you have changed your mind. Bizarre behaviour !!!!

Men seem to be the worst culprits by the sound of it . I guess many like the fantasy but it falls apart when it comes to making it reality .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't accommodate is a crude filter....but a good start. A single 40yr old guy who can't accommodate has a fair chance of being attached....?

Friend of mine uses this as first filter."

Great one & attached guys are generally entirely unreliable, even if they do have veris. We've had our fair share of deceit here.

Does the profile seem 'too good to be true'? Then it probably is.

No veris after 6 months? Ok, not ideal but a workable formula. No veris after 3-6 months and a WE+ cock, works for us.

Veris only by cam? Probably doesn't meet.

Short profile, can't be bothered to fill it in? Good indicator.

Face pics public and fairly new? Again not ideal but most newbies, generally, don't want their faces on public display.

Some of that may or may not work for you. But they do usually work for us x

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By *kindofmagicXXXMan
over a year ago

Bristol

There are female timewasters too. Seen to like loads if chat but no meet

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By *b coupleCouple
over a year ago

southampton

"Can't accommodate is a crude filter....but a good start. A single 40yr old guy who can't accommodate has a fair chance of being attached....?

Friend of mine uses this as first filter."

That's not right, your assuming he's attached. But could very well be a single parent. Just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if you text a man you become a text buddy

If you fuck a man you become a fuck buddy .

If you go out with a man for meals etc he sees you as a friend .

If you want a man to hang around , you need to provide him with more than just a fuck you need to provide love and affection .

Because chances are if he is just fucking you then he is just fucking loads of others . Same as going out , messaging etc .

Women do this , and I can promise you this does happen . After 2nd or 3 rd message , they offer phone number, and Will go on a date from one phone call.

It does happen , I personally would never message a woman more than 4 or 5 times. As Us men get used to transferring from the lets fuck zone to the sweet friend zone

In fact I would say , that if no offer of a meet within a week then it's a move on .

You work during the day , I would suggest phone calls at say 8 or 9 pm at night is always a good way to out the time wasters and dreamers ,

Only ring the once to ask them for a date .

And the real secret is us blokes know we mess it up by talking ,so w know the longer we message the more chance we have of screwing it up . Understand that and you will get past the time wasters

what a load of b***!

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

I find solely Dirty chat is a dead give away

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

[Removed by poster at 05/11/15 09:51:31]

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

I always advize my lady friends on here to.. Block all men

Wink at ones they fancy

No more than 5-10 at a time. If they wink or message... ask for face pic.

If you like the way they look, have a day of messaging on and off.

Then ask for phone number. Call them withold in your number if you want to.

During the call ask for a meet...social or whatever. This is now make or break but try and get to the point where a specific date is agreed.

Within a day you have cut to the chase and found out all you need to know.

Try it. Less time trawling through shit, no-hoper messages....more time finding guys and talking to them.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Why would anyone post a "How to fake it as genuine" guide on the forum?

The last thing anyone needs (except the timewasters and wannabes) is a sure fire way to make their messages look genuine.

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By *ery curious maleMan
over a year ago

Bishop Auckland

"We have found that it just seems to be standard practise on Fab.

Full of dreamers and bedroom masterbaters..."

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Yes, we have many and they seem to work, but I'd never list them in here - the timewasters might be listening

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why would anyone post a "How to fake it as genuine" guide on the forum?

The last thing anyone needs (except the timewasters and wannabes) is a sure fire way to make their messages look genuine."

Fair point but I think the bad outweighs the good on this. It will help people to know how to spot the eejits. The real timewasters will be too busy typing with one hand to read the forum.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"But what happens when you arrange a social meet and they appear keen, but then don't turn up? I wish there was a way to see that one coming so I don't end up sat in a pub waiting.

Thank heavens for my Kindle, that's all I'm saying."

Choose a pub near you so you don't travel far. Wait in the car so if he doesn't show you just go home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This works on another front too,if you don't like the look of them

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By *candiumWoman
over a year ago

oban

i don't think I've had a no show from FAB , although I have from other sites, but i have had the 'great chat but suddenly disappears' thing happen a bit

. I think we are all different. I don't like phone chats and i live in the middle of nowhere so socials rarely work meaning I like to chat for long enough to work out if I like someone- maybe that puts them off

I've had people stop chatting cause i don't have KIK or whatsapp, i suspect they were after dirty chat though.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

" I've had people stop chatting cause i don't have KIK or whatsapp, i suspect they were after dirty chat though."

It can be but not always

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 05/11/15 19:50:43]

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

I know men complain about time wasters but it happens to us women too!

There are far too many female time wasters on here.

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By *izzyRascalWoman
over a year ago

North Hants

My meets have all happened pretty quickly (max a week from our first contact). I always chat via Kik or Skype and insist on a social first. I think sometimes people get a bit bored if they are not getting instant/quick gratification and so move on to a new person in the hope that may happen more quickly.

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By *izzyRascalWoman
over a year ago

North Hants

I should also add that from the beginning I have said I'm on here for a limited time (I'm moving abroad). I get so many men contacting me because they know I'm 100% NSA and not expecting anything after a meet. People have said they like the fact I'm leaving haha. Maybe you are accidentally coming across as too clingy? I don't know.

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By *ean99Man
over a year ago

plymouth

"Can't accommodate is a crude filter....but a good start. A single 40yr old guy who can't accommodate has a fair chance of being attached....?

Friend of mine uses this as first filter."

I'm a single 49yrs old divorced guy that gave my ex the house and I can't accom due to the fact I'm living in shared accommodation so would be hard to bring someone back here???

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By *dareYou87Man
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

Make em pay a deposit fee before they arrange a meet! if they show up they get it back, if they don't you get a few drinks on them at the pub or whatever before you head back! :D

...I am joking btw.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't accommodate is a crude filter....but a good start. A single 40yr old guy who can't accommodate has a fair chance of being attached....?

Friend of mine uses this as first filter.

I'm a single 49yrs old divorced guy that gave my ex the house and I can't accom due to the fact I'm living in shared accommodation so would be hard to bring someone back here???

There are many of us like you mate.. However the amateur 'Miss Marples' and 'Inspector Clouseaus' on this site just love to judge ...

Scotland Yard is Definately missing out on some talented detectives ...

"Single bloke + can't accommodate = married"?

This is one of the reasons I prefer to meet in clubs ... I simply cannot be bothered with this attitude.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Can't accommodate is a crude filter....but a good start. A single 40yr old guy who can't accommodate has a fair chance of being attached....?

Friend of mine uses this as first filter.

I'm a single 49yrs old divorced guy that gave my ex the house and I can't accom due to the fact I'm living in shared accommodation so would be hard to bring someone back here???

There are many of us like you mate.. However the amateur 'Miss Marples' and 'Inspector Clouseaus' on this site just love to judge ...

Scotland Yard is Definately missing out on some talented detectives ...

"Single bloke + can't accommodate = married"?

This is one of the reasons I prefer to meet in clubs ... I simply cannot be bothered with this attitude.

Some of us use it as a filter but that's not saying that all single guys that can't accommodate are really married. What we are saying is that most married guys can't accommodate so we are filtering a lot out.

Get over it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't accommodate is a crude filter....but a good start. A single 40yr old guy who can't accommodate has a fair chance of being attached....?

Friend of mine uses this as first filter.

I'm a single 49yrs old divorced guy that gave my ex the house and I can't accom due to the fact I'm living in shared accommodation so would be hard to bring someone back here???

There are many of us like you mate.. However the amateur 'Miss Marples' and 'Inspector Clouseaus' on this site just love to judge ...

Scotland Yard is Definately missing out on some talented detectives ...

"Single bloke + can't accommodate = married"?

This is one of the reasons I prefer to meet in clubs ... I simply cannot be bothered with this attitude.

Get over it. "

No need to throw your teddy out of the pram, it's a public forum, you have your opinion , I have mine.

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By *inx_xxWoman
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Omg. I'm so glad I'm not the only one having this problem!!! It sounds odd but I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me!! I've read so many threads about men saying that women are timewasters. I'm slowly learning tell tale signs, like the can't accomm.

Gonna just keep going. One day someone will meet me. Good luck to you too op. It'll all come good!! Xx

Ditto

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

What are you wearing?

Graphic description of sex acts

Does not want to meet in a club

No phone calls or facetime

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

No need to throw your teddy out of the pram, it's a public forum, you have your opinion , I have mine."

I'm not the one making snide comments about "amateur 'Miss Marples' and 'Inspector Clouseaus' on this site just love to judge ..." am I

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

I know men complain about time wasters but it happens to us women too! just assume because they are a man and can't read they are time wasters, woe betide a woman to chat to a guy for weeks go on holiday come back ignore said man ,people on here shouldn't throw stones but they do

hugs

Sounds a bit like you've had some personally experience with the OP from that comment. If that's not the case you really should make that clear.

Oh, almost forgot.

hugs

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"They don't go UNLOS, but we talk about a date to meet, a social and then just disappear. Obviously not all guys, but a good percentage. It's so hard to get it right, finding someone you might fancy, be compatible with, is having a phone conversation a good way to go..?"

I don't think phoning them up will solve this problem but it might help a little.

I'm assuming that these are not 'no shows' but rather more a case of 'no meet actually being arranged'.

I think there are two possible causes of this that I think might be the problem.

1. With the guys who are relatively successful on here. It could be that, while they were chatting with you about a possible meet they were also chatting with other people to and have arranged some definite meets. It doesn't take many to fill up month of weekends. I have every weekend booked up between now and after Christmas already (no they're not all fab meets, I have a life to live also LOL). When I know I'm not going to be able to meet for a while I tend to decrease the amount of chat I do on here, especially if it's someone I fancy; it would be a disaster if she asked me for a meet and I had to say no because I couldn't make it.

2. With the guys who aren't so successful on here. You come across as a very confident woman. You're also very attractive (in my opinion). On your profile it says you are looking for someone special. All these things can be quite intimidating for some guys. Maybe some like the fantasy of meeting you but, as the fantasy moves closer to a probability or even a reality their insecurities start to get the better of them and they back away.

I don't know how true or relevant either of these two things maybe in your case but I think they're definite possibilities.

In good faith.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"Do these guys ever have any meet in person verifications?

All the guys who stood me up were meet verified. One was actually still in bed with the woman he'd met the night before while I was twiddling my thumbs in a pub.

I sometimes think some people on here are psychopaths."

Maybe he thought you'd tell him he was 'old and possibly wrinkly'.

. LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my point of view, the easiest way to make sure you get guys for genuine meets is to have clear 'wants' on your profile.

If someone messages you with a mutual interest, you like them and you can agree on how a meet goes, ask them to skype to prove they are real, nothing more. Then after if they seem to try and go down the wank fodder route, and you don't like that, remind them you will meet but you aren't on here for dirty stories.

Most guys will take that as a hint not to ruin the chance of meeting someone who wants what they want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need to throw your teddy out of the pram, it's a public forum, you have your opinion , I have mine.

I'm not the one making snide comments about "amateur 'Miss Marples' and 'Inspector Clouseaus' on this site just love to judge ..." am I

Good morning,

I've just reread my comments, and your response, and with the benefits of a good nights sleep to help judgement, I can hold my hand up and say you are quite right and I was wrong to make snide comments in the thread (aimed at no one in particular)

My knee-jerk reaction was more of a result of a long irritating day at work, and unfortunately manifested itself in this thread 'close to my heart' which I've been following.

The OP asked a perfectly sensible question to which everyone chipped in, whilst I don't agree with everyone's answer, I failed to counter-debate with an alternative point of view.

Instead I succumbed to the very thing I hate about forums .. And started ranting.

I sit here with a slight dribble of egg on my stubbly face ... And happily accept that everyone is entitled to whatever works them.

Sorry ( I'm only human)

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

No need to throw your teddy out of the pram, it's a public forum, you have your opinion , I have mine.

I'm not the one making snide comments about "amateur 'Miss Marples' and 'Inspector Clouseaus' on this site just love to judge ..." am I

Good morning,

My knee-jerk reaction was more of a result of a long irritating day at work, and unfortunately manifested itself in this thread 'close to my heart' which I've been following.

The OP asked a perfectly sensible question to which everyone chipped in, whilst I don't agree with everyone's answer, I failed to counter-debate with an alternative point of view.

Instead I succumbed to the very thing I hate about forums .. And started ranting.

I sit here with a slight dribble of egg on my stubbly face ... And happily accept that everyone is entitled to whatever works them.

Sorry ( I'm only human)"

Every one has bad days fella.

Apology unnecessary but appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need to throw your teddy out of the pram, it's a public forum, you have your opinion , I have mine.

I'm not the one making snide comments about "amateur 'Miss Marples' and 'Inspector Clouseaus' on this site just love to judge ..." am I

Good morning,

My knee-jerk reaction was more of a result of a long irritating day at work, and unfortunately manifested itself in this thread 'close to my heart' which I've been following.

The OP asked a perfectly sensible question to which everyone chipped in, whilst I don't agree with everyone's answer, I failed to counter-debate with an alternative point of view.

Instead I succumbed to the very thing I hate about forums .. And started ranting.

I sit here with a slight dribble of egg on my stubbly face ... And happily accept that everyone is entitled to whatever works them.

Sorry ( I'm only human)

Every one has bad days fella.

Apology unnecessary but appreciated

Thank you

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