FabSwingers.com forum: Email etiquette

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know the ladies on here are inundated with email, and I fully understand why many messages are not replied to after all you didn't ask us to contact you.

Thing is, I've had a number of mails I've sent which are left unopened.

Now I don't wish to appear a pest..so, question is ladies - is it okay to follow up again?

Is it just because you've so many you've missed them or do you read the title and not bother opening them as they're not interesting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a sure fire way for me to block someone..

I hate that I have lots of messages and I like to wait for My Master/Husband to look at them with me..

And then I find 2 and sometimes 3 from the same guy..

Whats worse is they see I have read them, then send me an " You interested then?" even If I was.. I then delete and block... :D

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah, I accept that if it's been opened and no reply that's just tough.

It's the unopened ones I was interested in though.

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

You can still read the opening lines of a message without opening it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah, I accept that if it's been opened and no reply that's just tough.

It's the unopened ones I was interested in though. "

I do not always read them and leave them unopened.. if I then come to a message and find that I have 2 or more from same person I just block.

As I will reply when I get a chance..

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah, I accept that if it's been opened and no reply that's just tough.

It's the unopened ones I was interested in though. "

To be honest common sense has to come into play if you emailed two weeks ago and it is marked as still unopened you can assume that it is not going to be opened so therefore safe to send another one if it was sent two days ago deff don't send another one... but obviously if after two weeks it has not been opened then there will b a reason for it... I read all my mail but don't respond to every email that I get each person is different

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks folks, I guess you've confirmed what I thought. I need to work on my opening lines then LOL

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

I think it depends - if the person you have mailed has gone off the site for more than a few days, then there's a good chance that your mail has been buried under a huge pile of other ones - so I see no harm in putting yourself back near the top of the list when they come back online - just don't copy and paste the same message twice.

at the end of the day - despite what a lot of posters in the forum might say - if someone deletes or does not reply to a message from you it does not mean they arent interested - it just means that they werent interested at the precise moment in time that they got your message - or there could be any number of other reasons, like a mailbox clear out, or they are already conversing with a few people they like at that time, or whatever.

So there is nothing to stop you from sending another good, funny, tailored and well crafted message a month or two down the line.

I speak from experience on this as I have lost count of the times where I've had a message deleted or ignored only to have a very positive response or hear from that person a few weeks or months later.

This is not - repeat NOT - a recommendation that you hound people repeatedly, or to send "why haven't you replied" messages - just don't be too disheartened if your very first approach doesnt work - and above all: Be Patient!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, in a short time, no. It's the best way I can think of for you to make me press the delete button. I'm probably busy and it just feels a little rude - the email equivalent of, "look, are you interested or not??"

After a few weeks then sure, send another if you fit my preferences. I may be looking for different things or sometimes I will originally say no because I prefer to stick to a small circle of meets but later on I may be looking to add to that so always worth a go

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me, in a short time, no. It's the best way I can think of for you to make me press the delete button. I'm probably busy and it just feels a little rude - the email equivalent of, "look, are you interested or not??"

LOL, My you ladies are fickle

Seriously though, I wouldn't even think of a repeat message for a few weeks, I can well imagine it just feels like you're being hounded otherwise, and someone that sends several follow ups on the same day just sounds desperate.

I figured after a reasonable period of time a single follow up to an unread message is acceptable and if someone still takes offense at that then I probably didn't want to meet them anyway.

I'm gonna stick to the playing it safe and keeping fingers crossed!

I appreciate the replies folks. Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good attitude to it I'd say.

Fickle, that makes me feel bad

Thing is, human nature, when you get a few messages all at once it can be difficult to take them all in and sometimes, I don't say this is a good thing, but you're almost working on automatic pilot going through the last couple and you can miss someone really right for you.

That's why I tend to leave messages in my inbox and come back to them later when I have a lot to read at once, so I can read it fresh another time and take the person on their own merit.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

That's why I tend to leave messages in my inbox and come back to them later when I have a lot to read at once, so I can read it fresh another time and take the person on their own merit. "

a lady friend of mine had a classic experience along these lines one evening when I was around her house.

she'd been through her mails earlier that day and deleted the dross and kept he few she wanted to get back to.

She logged back in later on beause we felt like messing around in the chatroom for a bit, and in the half hour or so we were in there she had 5 messages, each one of increasing anger and desperation at the fact that she had read, but not replied to his message - and he was one of the "keepers"

classic!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

The way I see it, an email exchange is a form of conversation. So if I say something, I should wait for a reply before saying ANYTHING else.

Think of it like a telephone call - if you don't leave enough silence for the other person to respond....they won't!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's why I tend to leave messages in my inbox and come back to them later when I have a lot to read at once, so I can read it fresh another time and take the person on their own merit.

a lady friend of mine had a classic experience along these lines one evening when I was around her house.

she'd been through her mails earlier that day and deleted the dross and kept he few she wanted to get back to.

classic!

Yes immediate delete!! I've had guys kick off at me when I've read their email, gone to give the Hound her eye drops and come back all ready to reply. Needless to state, my reply was somewhat different to what I'd initially anticipated!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am usually very quick to reply to messages. Therefore, when I have read a message and did not reply, it means I am not interested.

Follow up message could result in a block.

The above only applies to crass one-liner messages from one-line profiles with no pics!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Repeated messangers get blocked if I delete your message and you keep messaging then your block, please take a deleted message as a polite no thankyou and don't take it to heart

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By *inktherapyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

That's why I tend to leave messages in my inbox and come back to them later when I have a lot to read at once, so I can read it fresh another time and take the person on their own merit.

a lady friend of mine had a classic experience along these lines one evening when I was around her house.

she'd been through her mails earlier that day and deleted the dross and kept he few she wanted to get back to.

classic!

Yep, had that happen to me - I will often read a batch, delete the dross and leave replies to do later. People who get impatient with that just aren't worth bothering with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why are people do impatient on here a good message needs time replying

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

"Why are people do impatient on here a good message needs time replying"

think of it this way - they are disqualifying themselves without putting you to the invonvenience of having to speak to them - doing you a favour really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True never saw it like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get perhaps 5 messages on a good day, can't exactly claim to be drowning in messages, so it would be rude not to reply.

HOWEVER, I draw the line at crass one-liners from one-liner profiles who clearly have not taken the time to read the first few lines of my profile!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The usual crass "fancy a fuck" ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The usual crass "fancy a fuck" ?"

Not quite as bad, usually in the line of "I would like to play with your tits ..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well who could blame them they are fab xxx

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By *lackboaWoman
over a year ago

greenock

can i just say that _obleton can message me as often as he likes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"can i just say that _obleton can message me as often as he likes

Agree!

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well who could blame them they are fab xxx"

Awww, thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tobleton get messaging these ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tobleton get messaging these ladies"

Perhaps he is shy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i only mail once.

its always polite and clear.

if i do not get a reply i leave it.

understand women do get hundreds of mail a day so if they do not reply just leave it.

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By *umpkinMan
over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

There could be a number of other reasons why messages aren`t opened. The person could be away on holiday, ill and in hospital or simply not able to log on due to work/family/IT failure.

I would never send a second message if the first hasn`t been opened because of these reasons. I have only had one message not read straight away and that is because the the person is a Chat Room Mod on another site, she "only comes here to pick up messages" (shows how good her site is if people want to message her here instead of on her site!)and she "hates this site"! Why is she still a member here then?!

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By *iamondladyWoman
over a year ago

titsville

"I think it depends - if the person you have mailed has gone off the site for more than a few days, then there's a good chance that your mail has been buried under a huge pile of other ones - so I see no harm in putting yourself back near the top of the list when they come back online - just don't copy and paste the same message twice.

at the end of the day - despite what a lot of

posters in the forum might say - if someone deletes or does not reply to a message from you it does not mean they arent interested - it just means that they werent interested at the precise moment in time that they got your message - or there could be any number of other reasons, like

a mailbox clear out, or they are already conversing with a few people they like at that time, or whatever.

So there is nothing to stop you from sending another good, funny, tailored and well crafted message a month or two down the line.

I speak from experience on this as I have lost count of the times where I've had a message deleted or ignored only to have a very positive

response or hear from that person a few weeks or months later.

Couldn't agree with you more! This is exactly what happens to me. I reply straight away to people who aren't my type etc with a no thanks but others the above happens and I loose people off the page. Currently have over 130 unopened mails amongst read ones.

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

perhaps you should dedicate a little more time to the princes and less to the frogs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex-hubby says if I kiss enough frogs I would find a prince!

So I do not ignore the frogs!

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Email etiquette - follow ups