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What does it take?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After many years trying to get my wife to explore sex more she is now giving signs that she is `curious` about swinging. For a long time she shut the door firmly in my face when i suggested 3sums etc and i gave up on the idea many years ago, but recently she has brought up the subject herself, not directly about us though.I`m not sure what to do now, just ask her outright again if she is `up for it`, or just wait a little longer and see if she will open up to me first. What does it take to get her to give `swinging` a go?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She has to want to do it herself, no use trying to push it onto her - doing it behind her back probably isn't the best way to make her warm to it either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't push her it needs to be her that makes the suggestion, I've met many a couple where the woman was doing this for the hubby only and looked so uncomfortable I stopped the meet. Make sure she does this because she wants to not because it will make you happy

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she curiously looks at swinging sites to find single men in the area, and finds you.

Have you no respect for your wife?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one knows your wife like you do, so only you can possibly know if she's up for it, or even if she will ever likely to be.

Don't you speak about fanatsies?

Do you actually know what turns her on?

Is she really showing signs of being curious about swinging, or is it just wishfull thinking on your part?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

after a few lengthy discussions we decided swinging was 4 us and 10 years later we so glad we gave it ago .it spices up ure sex life and 4 us brings us closer 2gether dont push her if she wants 2 swing shore she will let u no bfn xxx

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By *-and-KCouple
over a year ago

Back of Beyond

Wait until she next next mentions it and ask her to expand on what she means.

If you try and push it or even bring it up without her saying something first, you will just get her to clam up completely.

Remember it can only be on her terms, so you have to take it step by step and allow any decisions to be made by her. Otherwise she will feel you are pushing her, that will get you right back to stage one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree her terms only but methinks this is more your fantasy then hers x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you have a wife yet your profile is single male.

says it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just let her know how fun your experiences you have had on here on your own.... hopefully she will "tune in" to your way of thinking.

Very much doubt it seeing though there is no mention of her existence on your "single" profile.

....poor woman

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"you have a wife yet your profile is single male.

says it all."

Actually, he doesn't say anything about his status. He has a single mans profile as he is playing on hos own I am guessing, and as Admin don't discriminate against men wether they are attached or not, he is allowed it.

To the OP......I would say try not to push her but you could always talk about fantasies etc without mentioning playing for real, she then may bring up the subject again herself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

could always find a story written by a woman about an experience with 2 guys or whatever you have spoke about n accidently leave it on the pc for her too see? this worked for me when i first got my partner involved. had a few years of good fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP, is she really curious about swinging or does she have suspicions about you? Be very careful how you word your replies to her as you may find out she is 'testing' you. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you have a wife yet your profile is single male.

says it all.

Actually, he doesn't say anything about his status. He has a single mans profile as he is playing on hos own I am guessing, and as Admin don't discriminate against men wether they are attached or not, he is allowed it."

I agree, but it would be nice if he did let people know so those of us who don't wish to play with married men can avoid him!

Then again, why would I expect him to be honest?!! Someone who is lying to his wife is hardly likely to take the feelings of total strangers into consideration is he?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice ta see ya preparing for her saying yes by setting up a profile already

Very considerate xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After many years trying to get my wife to explore sex more she is now giving signs that she is `curious` about swinging. For a long time she shut the door firmly in my face when i suggested 3sums etc and i gave up on the idea many years ago, but recently she has brought up the subject herself, not directly about us though.I`m not sure what to do now, just ask her outright again if she is `up for it`, or just wait a little longer and see if she will open up to me first. What does it take to get her to give `swinging` a go?"

just a thought but if she is giving sign that she is "curious" maybe she is looking around on websites??????? oooops

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or maybe she's on here too, well you are so what's good for you is good for the wife!

But to be on here without her knowledge is not good!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And you've had 2 meets already so already cheated on said wife, poor woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he obviously ain't listening. he's vanished.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly men like that don't listen he's already gone and started swinging without her

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By *hoseboots1952Couple
over a year ago

grangemouth

There's been a book written about a woman's life as a swinger. im sure you could find the name of it in ur search engine.

weve been on this scene for well over 25 yrs now and made many longterm true friends. first thing you both should clarify is a list of do's and dont's. have you preferences/limits and DO NOT CROSS THEM! one cpl we know DID, we no longer see them as they/he took advantage of our old friends, which pissed us off BIG time!

you have to sit and really TALK about it, that includes NOT advertising yourself behind her back, if she finds out, boy, then thats ur relationship trust gone kaput before uv even started!

forget about the scene till you know how she feels. no pressure on her at all, it must be HER decision and with HER rules.i would say its women who sets the rules, and the hubbbys or partners go along with them. otherwise its not gonna work. there has to be trust and belief in ur relationship. it wont EVER save it! quite the opposite! and, if she's straight she's STRAIGHT! so dont have fantasies about her and another fem together then try n persuade her! we've seen that happen in front of us and it was NOT a pretty outcome!

i'd recommend that if u find a cpl u might like to meet, then make ur first meet a social meet in a pub. NOT a hotel,unless there's no other choice, a she may be wary of possibly being persuaded to hire a room.that could put her off totally!

hope this helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After many years trying to get my wife to explore sex more she is now giving signs that she is `curious` about swinging. For a long time she shut the door firmly in my face when i suggested 3sums etc and i gave up on the idea many years ago, but recently she has brought up the subject herself, not directly about us though.I`m not sure what to do now, just ask her outright again if she is `up for it`,

or just wait a little longer and see if she will open up to me first. What does it take to get her to give `swinging` a go?"

OOOOOO JUST SEEN YOUR WIFES PROFILE!!!!

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