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"How do you know? Is it ignorable? Yes; its me I'm talking about. " isn't one where basically transvestite which basically is dressing up and identifying on and off as a woman or maybe even full time? then when say the next step is taken and an operation is done then its full time identifying and living as a TS woman?.... | |||
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"How do you know? Is it ignorable? Yes; its me I'm talking about. " Why would it need to be ignored babe? | |||
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"I mean; I was technically tv. I didn't feel it fitted me when dressed. I associate myself as female when I dress and recently I feel the same even when I don't. If this is the start of transition it's scary. " think the answer lies with you rachael at the end of the day as I have no idea how you feel/are going through... so basically the answer only lies within you're mind or maybe talk with you're wife about it as she will know you better and will be able to give better advice then say I.. | |||
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"Tbh; I get more sensible response to my questions here. Many on that site are over opinionated when talking about transition. You'd think they'd understand but most have never even left the house. Things change when you start going places as yourself where it's not a tgirl event. It also changed for me when my bf took my hand in public and I awoke with him still holding me next day. I also spent Saturday in the greenhouse sauna. No hair or makeup. No clothes. I still felt female and found myself unable to refer to myself as a guy. I said 'person'. " Based on talking with other transexuals and those ive met if you feel like a woman and when you look in the mirror its a woman you see then maybe you are just taken till now to realise it. Gender dysphoria is not easy to get through. Best advice is seek advice from your gp then they can start the process psycological testing, dressing female everyday etc. If you do it for long enough then they will start you on hrt to begin your transistion. Its not an easy road but if its what you want then go for it xxx You do look very feminine already so maybe this would just confirm things for you xxx | |||
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"I'm wondering if it's something that can be ignored. Just pushed away. This doesn't fit my life so far with four adult kids. " Indeed only you know your own mind Rachel. You can try an ignore it but it depends if it will come back. Depends if your kids would be open minded enough to accept your need to transistion. Only way you can know that is to ask them. If they love and respect you as much as your bf im sure they will xxx. | |||
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"I'm wondering if it's something that can be ignored. Just pushed away. This doesn't fit my life so far with four adult kids. " Maybe speak to your wife? She sounds great. As do you. Big hugs xxxx | |||
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"I'm wondering if it's something that can be ignored. Just pushed away. This doesn't fit my life so far with four adult kids. Maybe speak to your wife? She sounds great. As do you. Big hugs xxxx" Yea speak to your wife first and foremost if she accepts your dressing she might be open minded enough to allow you to explore your possible change in gender? xxx | |||
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"She accepts my dressing. She accepts everything I do. Transition is such a selfish thing. I've seen others throw away their families through it. I fought to keep my daughters with me. I can't risk throwing them away now. " Indeed but also others have destroyed there families as they kept it secret to long xxx If it was me i would make my intentions clear from the start. Im sure your girls would be more understanding than boys would be? As would your wife its not selfish but more like admiting to yourself who you really are? Only you know whats best after all xxx | |||
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"Thank you. See? Sensible input rather than impassioned fantasy. Half my problem stemmed from burying this for thirty years. Now I've built a life I love. The thought of selfishly ruining it terrifies me. " Its not selfish if you include your family Rachel. Having your girls help you pick new outfits and things might be a whole new lease of life for you and them? xxx | |||
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"It might be worth trying the angels or roses forums. These things can come and go in cycles. They do for me. Sometimes the cycle is short, sometimes long. I think this is why we are usually required to go full time for a two year period before going forward with surgery, as a safeguard." I know how you feel Hun and you know I will always be there for you I hate having anything male I feel so right when i am me and it has nothing at all to do with sex at all xx | |||
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"She accepts my dressing. She accepts everything I do. Transition is such a selfish thing. I've seen others throw away their families through it. I fought to keep my daughters with me. I can't risk throwing them away now. " The question is can you continue the way you are? If yes, then why complicate things. If no then you need to find a way to get them onside. I feel for you, I was recently asked a similar question by someone transitioning about my life. If I had felt like I do now before my boy came along I think things would be different. But I won't risk losing him for my own gain. X | |||
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"She accepts my dressing. She accepts everything I do. Transition is such a selfish thing. I've seen others throw away their families through it. I fought to keep my daughters with me. I can't risk throwing them away now. " I haven't read the rest of the replies after this one, it struck me so much I have to reply. No transperson "throws" their families away. At the end of the day they make a choice - live their own lives or throw the life they want away to live the life other people want them to live. Some people unfortunately have family members that are selfish and would rather see them unhappy in the body they were born in than transition and be happy being themselves. I see so many transpeople fight between being who they truely are and being who everyone else wants them to be. Or who they *think* people want them to be as many people don't care but it is feared that they will react negatively. It is very much a step into the unknown and this scares people and holds them back from transitioning. What people seem to forget is that it doesn't have to be permanent right from the start. It can be as slow as you want it to be so if it isn't right for you you can stop and not transition. It's all down to you and how you feel about and see yourself. Without thinking about how other people might think about you, how do you see yourself in your future? As a woman or a man? How do you most feel comfortable? Maybe you are gender fluid so are happy being either? If it is something you are serious about then go talk to a professional, as in a Gender clinic. A lot of GPs haven't got a clue though so be prepared to do a lot of researching yourself. Transitioning is very hard and very slow, and at the end of the day it is your choice to do what you feel you need to to live a happy life. | |||
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"One thing I'm sure of is not wanting surgery. " You don't *need* to have surgery to transition. You can transition as far as you feel you need to, not everyone feels that they need to put their body through surgery. | |||
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"I'm going to tell my kids. " Good luck. Hope this thread has helped. x | |||
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"My dilemma threads often do. I won't be rushing this but my wife has come around to them knowing. I think they kinda do already so perhaps I ought to put them straight before they blow it into something bigger. " I love you Rachael you know that I will always be there for you and my phone is always on you have a very supportive wife and you clearly love her has she does you we are not around this world for long so we have to be happy which when I see you dressed you are so happy .you are always in girl mode to me remember that saying don't worry be happy to me you are my true sister xx | |||
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"I'm going to tell my kids. " Good luck Although I'm sure you won't need it. Even if you have some negativity don't let it get you down. My brother disowned me when he realised I was genuinely going to transition, it took him ages to come round, but when he saw how happy I was ... we now get on great. Mum told me that after I told her and my Step-Dad they left my flat and she fell apart. This was because she didn't understand and was scared for me. Going through this has brought us so much closer thankfully. Not everyone will want to join you on your journey, at first, to find out who you are, some may not at all, but that's their choice. Just keep your chin up, and try to enjoy the journey | |||
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"She accepts my dressing. She accepts everything I do. Transition is such a selfish thing. I've seen others throw away their families through it. I fought to keep my daughters with me. I can't risk throwing them away now. " Just take it really slowly Rachael, take it at your pace so you don't feel your being pushed into major decisions your not yet comfortable with. The caitlin jenner thing has opened a lot of eyes and minds, but if you're not yet sure of how you feel, I would take it slowly. Just know you're supported in here, and I gather from the other posts, by your lovely wife. Lots of luv xxx | |||
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"How do you know? Is it ignorable? Yes; its me I'm talking about. isn't one where basically transvestite which basically is dressing up and identifying on and off as a woman or maybe even full time? then when say the next step is taken and an operation is done then its full time identifying and living as a TS woman?...." No you don't have to have the operations you just have to be able to identity with the gender you are representing to be classified as transgender, you can even follow a long winded process to have your birth certificate officially changed to that gender without having a single operation | |||
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"Have you sought legal advice re divorce etc?" Why would they want to get divorced. These days, two women can be married | |||
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"Have you sought legal advice re divorce etc?" Have you read the thread? | |||
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"Have you sought legal advice re divorce etc? Why would they want to get divorced. These days, two women can be married" I guess it depends on if his wife wants to be married to a woman. | |||
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"Have you sought legal advice re divorce etc? Why would they want to get divorced. These days, two women can be married I guess it depends on if his wife wants to be married to a woman." I think that is something only the two ladies can decide I hope that they decide that their affection for each other can transcend the gender boundary, but ultimately, it will be their decision and theirs alone I am romantic and mushy like that | |||
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"I think its so wrong that all things etc need to be labelled! TV/TS why the need, in fact why the need for Female, Male, why can't we all simply be humans? I accept that for many reasons we need to be recognised as M or F but surely there should be the choice to be Gender non specific. We should all be allowed to dress the way we wish without fear of ridicule, just because a guy dresses in female attire and doesn't look like a female, so what. And that is my point, we put to much emphasis on the clothes making the person, rather than the other way round. Eddie Izard is super cool in my opinion as he simply dresses the way he wishes. The guy on X Factor also. So Rachel, try not to stress about how you feel to much, those feelings are what make you who you are. I hope you find your answers if you still seek them, Dress happy, be happy, stay happy. x" Eddie Izzard is a great role model (or whatever the word is in this case). Great example. | |||
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"Have you sought legal advice re divorce etc? Why would they want to get divorced. These days, two women can be married I guess it depends on if his wife wants to be married to a woman." My wife is already married to me. She married me after I told her I was a bisexual and a cross dresser. If you'd read the thread you'd have seen that I've decided I don't want an operation and I don't want to be full time. I've come to the conclusion I am happily gender fluid. I'm happy in both male and female roles. You'll have seen that my wife is very supportive of me and loves me as I am. She loves the feminine side to me. She loves that gentleness and understanding. She loves my smooth toned body. The person presenting here and posting this thread is my female persona and in light of that I'd appreciate it if you would refrain from using masculine references to my gender. I identify as female here and very often in the world at large. | |||
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"... The person presenting here and posting this thread is my female persona and in light of that I'd appreciate it if you would refrain from using masculine references to my gender. I identify as female here and very often in the world at large. " And fo all intents and purposes, you are female and a very nice one too; xxx | |||
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" The person presenting here and posting this thread is my female persona and in light of that I'd appreciate it if you would refrain from using masculine references to my gender. I identify as female here and very often in the world at large. " | |||
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"I am no way an expert on this but the TG people I know have all said they have known from a very young age they were in the wrong body. This could be happening to you if you have stuffed those kind of feeling down?" I always felt female as a child. I longed to be. I didn't have anything female to wear so I wore my clothes in a feminine way; a baggy jumper off one shoulder. I was bullied at school and by my sister. She was the one who used the word 'gay' to make me bury my feelings. I also knew by age 12 that I had sexual interest in both sexes. I buried those too. I've had 30 years of trying to bury and ignore the way I feel. Now I've accepted that it's ok to be what I want to be the feelings are rushing to the surface. | |||
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"I am no way an expert on this but the TG people I know have all said they have known from a very young age they were in the wrong body. This could be happening to you if you have stuffed those kind of feeling down? I always felt female as a child. I longed to be. I didn't have anything female to wear so I wore my clothes in a feminine way; a baggy jumper off one shoulder. I was bullied at school and by my sister. She was the one who used the word 'gay' to make me bury my feelings. I also knew by age 12 that I had sexual interest in both sexes. I buried those too. I've had 30 years of trying to bury and ignore the way I feel. Now I've accepted that it's ok to be what I want to be the feelings are rushing to the surface. " Thats sad you had to bury your true self for so long and your own sister wouldnt accept you xxx Still you have become the woman you knew you always were now and thats what counts xxx | |||
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"You get one chance at life....do what makes you happy " I totally agree | |||
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"You get one chance at life....do what makes you happy " This is what I keep coming back to and wanting to regret only things I've done rather than those I didn't. | |||
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"Josie, thanks for taking the time to type all that in open forum. Be reassured that I talk very openly with my wife with everything I do. When I first posted this I was riding high from a weekend of being openly me. I didn't want it to end and was trying to wrestle with my emotions because I just felt I wanted to live full time as a girl. Having talked, made love a few times, gone to work, counselled my upset daughter over a boy, generally enjoyed my male life, I feel I want both. I've never considered anything permanent except for my tattoos. What I want to do is be able to drift between my gender states without feeling the need to hide. I'm not ashamed of myself. I seem to make people happy whichever gender I'm displaying. Thank you for your support. There are some lovely people on here and I have real friends, such as Marteene, who support me daily xxx " Your gender doesnt define you as much as your personality does Rachel and you have the great position of being able to drift between genders and have a wonderful partner who supports you all the way and i think thats a beautiful thing really xxx | |||
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"Well my wife and i have talked lots now. As I thought, she's quite accepting of me defining myself as gender fluid. Agreed we need to talk to the kids before they jump to the wrong conclusions and worry about the wrong things. We were out in Weymouth last night and she's just suggested I get glammed up and we go back down for a night out as Rachael and wife. " Thats a great way to handle things xxx Have good night your sure to turn heads in a good way xxx | |||
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"I accepted the night out but decided to book it properly. I've booked a hotel for us so we can enjoy it properly. " Excellent idea i have a feeling it will be a great night for you both xxx Kudos to you xxx | |||
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"Thank you. It gives me shopping time too. She wants me to play things down a bit. I tend to be a bit of an attention seeker, like most tgirls. I think she has a point. I need to learn to just blend a little more. " Shopping time is very important to any woman. You blend in quite well already you look very convincing to me anyway. But agreed if you played things down a bit i think you will surprise yourself xxx | |||
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"Thank you. I need to get my eyes better. They're too 'tv' and less of an in your face lippy. And then choose some less revealing attire perhaps..... " Yes maybe though you have a very feminine face already so it wont take to much makeup to make you look fab without going ott xxx | |||
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"Interesting you say that because I've never felt my features to be very feminine at all. Thank you though xx" Well i think you do your eyes and smile really brighten up anyday and im sure other folks agree xxx | |||
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