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Safe sex...

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By *astard and goodgirl OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Exeter

Got bailed on because my partner insists on condoms... Even for a bj.... Because she's 20 years old... We were meeting a stranger who out right asked in the very first message "does she do bareback" ..... Well fuck no she doesn't.... But I very nicely laid down the rules... And to fair... Not everyone would agree it would be a turn on but one is condom on at all times including oral.... ,

Two things.... She's 20 she doesn't want a disease at 20.

He didn't not understand that diseases can still be passed in through oral.... And the fact he asked if she did bareback.... How many other women has he done bareback..... Said he might play bi too.... He missed out on a meet.... Because she wants to protect her body!!! Go figure.... Are we just square? Do condoms suck the fun out of a meet? Are men really that much of a dog they don't care about catching or spreading disease?!!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

he likes bare back, you don't, you aren't compatible and he isn't representative of all men.

You are right to play exactly how you want to and as safe as you want to and so is he.

Better luck next time.

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By *i1971Man
over a year ago

Cornwall


"he likes bare back, you don't, you aren't compatible and he isn't representative of all men.

You are right to play exactly how you want to and as safe as you want to and so is he.

Better luck next time."

Exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair we would refuse a meet if a lady insisted on oral for a bj. Would you have insisted he used protection while giving her oral too?

He just wasn't for you. I personally would refuse a meet if a guy wanted me to use a condom for a bj. X

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By *astard and goodgirl OP   Couple
over a year ago

Near Exeter


"To be fair we would refuse a meet if a lady insisted on oral for a bj. Would you have insisted he used protection while giving her oral too?

He just wasn't for you. I personally would refuse a meet if a guy wanted me to use a condom for a bj. X"

Even if you didn't know him? It's wrong.. Honestly been on here and been to clubs... And I'm experienced.... But are people that dumb they don't realise they can get stds from oral sex? I don't want her to get herpes from a stranger them pass it on to me.... Just for a shag... Maybe ok with older people.... But not for younger... I admire her for wanting to keep her body safe!

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By *anie1000Woman
over a year ago

Staffs

Why on earth might it be "ok with older people . . . " ????????

We all protect ourselves the way we choose.

he laid his cards on the table so you could make an informed choice. Not everyone is so forthcoming.

Look after yourselves and make sure you have regular check-ups.

Happy hunting.

Janie x

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

The only 100% protection is abstinence. You take a risk having sex, at a level of protection/prevention you are comfortable with. Others will be comfortable with other levels of protection/prevention. Some will enjoy the thrill of the risk. No point in judging. He was too risky for you, so you moved on. Kinda seems like you are actually just miffed about the non-meet, the same way we all feel frustrated when a meet we started to get excited about, doesn't come to fruition for what ever reason. On to the next adventure!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got bailed on because my partner insists on condoms... Even for a bj.... Because she's 20 years old... We were meeting a stranger who out right asked in the very first message "does she do bareback" ..... Well fuck no she doesn't.... But I very nicely laid down the rules... And to fair... Not everyone would agree it would be a turn on but one is condom on at all times including oral.... ,

Two things.... She's 20 she doesn't want a disease at 20.

He didn't not understand that diseases can still be passed in through oral.... And the fact he asked if she did bareback.... How many other women has he done bareback..... Said he might play bi too.... He missed out on a meet.... Because she wants to protect her body!!! Go figure.... Are we just square? Do condoms suck the fun out of a meet? Are men really that much of a dog they don't care about catching or spreading disease?!!!

"

Put of curiosity do you use dental dams or oral on her then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be fair we would refuse a meet if a lady insisted on oral for a bj. Would you have insisted he used protection while giving her oral too?

He just wasn't for you. I personally would refuse a meet if a guy wanted me to use a condom for a bj. X

Even if you didn't know him? It's wrong.. Honestly been on here and been to clubs... And I'm experienced.... But are people that dumb they don't realise they can get stds from oral sex? I don't want her to get herpes from a stranger them pass it on to me.... Just for a shag... Maybe ok with older people.... But not for younger... I admire her for wanting to keep her body safe! "

By the shear balance of probabilities mate she's already got herpes usually it's your mum that gives it you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To be fair we would refuse a meet if a lady insisted on oral for a bj. Would you have insisted he used protection while giving her oral too?

He just wasn't for you. I personally would refuse a meet if a guy wanted me to use a condom for a bj. X

Even if you didn't know him? It's wrong.. Honestly been on here and been to clubs... And I'm experienced.... But are people that dumb they don't realise they can get stds from oral sex? I don't want her to get herpes from a stranger them pass it on to me.... Just for a shag... Maybe ok with older people.... But not for younger... I admire her for wanting to keep her body safe! "

No its wrong to you. We are well aware of the small risk from oral and over the 16 years or so that I (ms) have been doing this I have sucked a lot of cock.... And omg even groups of strangers in clubs bare... And nope... Not one nasty.

We just get our check ups and look after our own sexual health and take the risks we are comfortable doing. We wouldn't do bare sex or anal with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got bailed on because my partner insists on condoms... Even for a bj.... Because she's 20 years old... We were meeting a stranger who out right asked in the very first message "does she do bareback" ..... Well fuck no she doesn't.... But I very nicely laid down the rules... And to fair... Not everyone would agree it would be a turn on but one is condom on at all times including oral.... ,

Two things.... She's 20 she doesn't want a disease at 20.

He didn't not understand that diseases can still be passed in through oral.... And the fact he asked if she did bareback.... How many other women has he done bareback..... Said he might play bi too.... He missed out on a meet.... Because she wants to protect her body!!! Go figure.... Are we just square? Do condoms suck the fun out of a meet? Are men really that much of a dog they don't care about catching or spreading disease?!!!

Put of curiosity do you use dental dams or oral on her then."

I'm curious about that... And also If the op also wears a condom for oral and uses dental dams on other women.

Do you make sure hands are throughly washed before entering too... As a bigger risk than oral sex is cross contamination...

I.e from fingers, or toys.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I don't want an STI at 54!

There is no such thing as safe sex, all sexual encounters carry some risk, even with condoms and there is a VERY high chance that one or both of you already have herpes, it's rare to find anyone without it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op

What are you actually shocked about?

That a man didn't want to use a condom for sex

Or

That they would have the nerve not to want to meet you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I quite liked how it was all "she's only 20 so doesn't want to get anything then he let slip "I don't want her to give me anything"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the op's post is more about look at my 20 year old partner than anything else.

Your life, your choice, your risks. Each to their own. Been swinging years and never got anything at all never mind from oral.

Plus everyone is right, you should use them yourself plus a dental dam. Or not play at swinging at all toll you are more comfortable at saying your likes etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the op's post is more about look at my 20 year old partner than anything else.

Your life, your choice, your risks. Each to their own. Been swinging years and never got anything at all never mind from oral.

Plus everyone is right, you should use them yourself plus a dental dam. Or not play at swinging at all toll you are more comfortable at saying your likes etc."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know why the OP is getting such a hassle for wanted to use condoms for oral. I requested this when Marc and I first started swinging as well (I have since reevaluated). And before anyone asks about dental dams, I don't like receiving oral, so that wasn't an issue...but I would have been fine with their use as well (I would have preferred it).

OP, people are allowed to not want to have oral with a condom on. Most won't want to, in fact. Just don't meet them. But stop saying that it is only because of your girlfriend's age that caring about her health is important. That is pure ignorance.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got bailed on because my partner insists on condoms... Even for a bj.... Because she's 20 years old... We were meeting a stranger who out right asked in the very first message "does she do bareback" ..... Well fuck no she doesn't.... But I very nicely laid down the rules... And to fair... Not everyone would agree it would be a turn on but one is condom on at all times including oral.... ,

Two things.... She's 20 she doesn't want a disease at 20.

He didn't not understand that diseases can still be passed in through oral.... And the fact he asked if she did bareback.... How many other women has he done bareback..... Said he might play bi too.... He missed out on a meet.... Because she wants to protect her body!!! Go figure.... Are we just square? Do condoms suck the fun out of a meet? Are men really that much of a dog they don't care about catching or spreading disease?!!!

"

Following the trend of replies. I use condoms. I don't for oral giving or receiving despite knowing the potential risk of infection there because it feels weird, however, vaginal and anal, I don't notice I've got one on because I'm so used to them now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

at least the person was upfront about what they wanted - I've met a fair few guys who shouted loudly about safe sex and their health on here/in messages then tried their luck to bareback when we met in person...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure where age comes into the statement? Why would you not want the same level of protection whatever the age?

It also sounds as if you are wanting to protect yourself op, more than her.

If you prefer to use condoms for oral that's your choice, although as others point out, does she abstain from receiving or does she use protection?

I have received oral with a condom and it doesn't feel the same. But if that's your criteria for meeting then stick to it. Or just, as I have seen on some profiles, put 'no oral either way'. Saves anyone getting upset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if the male wears a condom for oral too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Move on my man,she's not the girl for you

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By *onnybag69Man
over a year ago

Manchester

[Removed by poster at 30/09/15 17:19:12]

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By *onnybag69Man
over a year ago

Manchester

well done op you stick to your guns in 2013 450,000 people were treated for stds in uk and 600 people died of aids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well done op you stick to your guns in 2013 450,000 people were treated for stds in uk and 600 people died of aids "

He is entitled to stick to his guns.. but he hasnt answered the questions back.. and seems more bothered about her giving him something.

I wouldnt ever bother giving oral with a condom on. It is pointless for me. As takes all the enjoyment away for me.

I am well aware of the risks... but have decided that oral without is a risk I am willing to take. I just get regular checks.

oh and according to the nhs the flu kills about 8000 people on average per year in the uk..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Got bailed on because my partner insists on condoms... Even for a bj.... Because she's 20 years old... "
Is it me or is it written in 3rd person? Because the first part sounds like the woman wrote it as the guy wanted bareback

"Got bailed on because my partner insists on condoms"

Then

"Because she's 20 years old... "

So now he in the couple writes it? Is it just me or did you notice this to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP if you're so bothered about protecting your young partner from stds, I'd suggest you both stop swinging as that is the only true way of really protecting each other!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"he likes bare back, you don't, you aren't compatible and he isn't representative of all men.

You are right to play exactly how you want to and as safe as you want to and so is he.

Better luck next time.

Exactly this. "

Agreed. My choice would always be condom for vaginal or anal sex, but I don't want to wear one giving or receiving oral.

If that isn't what you want, we are incompatible meets and that's all, there's nothing wrong with that.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I think the op's post is more about look at my 20 year old partner than anything else."

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