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Can I fist you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is not a good first message

What else gets an instant delete?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the messages I receive. They're mainly dumb "you are sooooo sexy" ones and I like thinking they're REALLY into gloves and knees.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cum swallow my load

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single word messages lol 'wow' or ones bypassing the obvious fact that there's two of us here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whatever happened to a polite handshake or at worst a high five!

I've never initiated a greeting by trying to shove my clenched extremity inside a ladies most accessible orifice.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whatever happened to a polite handshake or at worst a high five!

I've never initiated a greeting by trying to shove my clenched extremity inside a ladies most accessible orifice.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned I guess."

Adds a new light on the term 'fist pump'!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything badly spelled, graphic, unimaginative and dull x

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By *rotiquexxxMan
over a year ago

Unquenchable Desires

My mate was once barred from a pub for being fisted on a pool table

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha, yeah not a good 1st message that...

All my instant deletes are pretty tame. Although i've had a couple of people into animals lately, not sure why they think i might be into that as well.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I had

'deal or deal?'

sent this week - I think he meant 'delete or delete?'

If it's largely no better than 'fancy a fuck', it's not worth their effort, surely!

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

All the messages that consist of one word, I am yet to find any of these inspiring.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Whatever happened to a polite handshake or at worst a high five!

I've never initiated a greeting by trying to shove my clenched extremity inside a ladies most accessible orifice.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned I guess.

Adds a new light on the term 'fist pump'!! "

My spontaneous outburst of laughter took some fast thinking to explain.

Fist pump! My arse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Whatever happened to a polite handshake or at worst a high five!

I've never initiated a greeting by trying to shove my clenched extremity inside a ladies most accessible orifice.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned I guess.

Adds a new light on the term 'fist pump'!!

My spontaneous outburst of laughter took some fast thinking to explain.

Fist pump! My arse "

Think I'd struggle to fist pump an accommodating lady lounge with my hands let alone an arse!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm not totally adverse to the idea if someone has small hands but there's ways to approach this.

In a first message was not it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A real gentleman would at least roll a sleeve up from his smoking jacket and apply some sort of lubricant before requesting the young filly in question to assume the position.

Or maybe nursey might prepare the recipient with a liberal application of petroleum jelly prior to insertion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My balls need emptied (sic), I need draining, or some variation like that. I'm not some form of milkmaid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like the messages I receive. They're mainly dumb "you are sooooo sexy" ones and I like thinking they're REALLY into gloves and knees. "

I love your pictures. I've always wondered what sort of messages you get. In fact, I love your whole profilex

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By *ythenshawefredMan
over a year ago

stockport

Once had a message on another site saying 'can I come a sniff your farts' instant delete followed by logging out, hiding in a corner and hoping it wasn't a genuine request

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ones that havent been bothered to read my profile...idiots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask you a question?

Hi

Is that you ******

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By *ay and DeborahCouple
over a year ago

Co. Down

Just got one there now

"Free for fun, meet me now"

Me.."Im pleased for you, but wont be taking ypu up on your offer"

Him "Why not?"

Have never met or even chatted to this guy before!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just got one there now

"Free for fun, meet me now"

Me.."Im pleased for you, but wont be taking ypu up on your offer"

Him "Why not?"

Have never met or even chatted to this guy before!!!!"

The worst ones are when you ignore there message and then they send 5 more after that...GET THE HINT!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/09/15 19:28:59]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Can I ask you a question?

Hi

Is that you ****** "

I reply 'nope'

They ask why not?

I say that's two now. I said no!

They usually get bored

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By *bwitched_arlock69Couple
over a year ago

Batley, West Yorkshire

[Removed by poster at 10/09/15 19:32:35]

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By *arlock69Man
over a year ago

Batley... (near Leeds)

nice cock...is a message I get alot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The second ever message I received here was 'Get here cunt'.

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Single word messages lol 'wow' or ones bypassing the obvious fact that there's two of us here"

yep this definitely, messages aimed solely at Kitty, had one today and irritates the crap out of me

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"My balls need emptied (sic), I need draining, or some variation like that. I'm not some form of milkmaid. "

We need to setup a milking station for them, at Fab farm. Wouldn't be good enough for Shag, he certainly deserves better and he has patience. Unlike the senders of those types of message that we all get.

I'd happily use a cattle prod, keeping the great unwashed milkees in line as they queue up to have the attachments fitted by machines.

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By *ertiVogtsMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"The second ever message I received here was 'Get here cunt'. "

Did you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The second ever message I received here was 'Get here cunt'. "

I've worked on my delivery since then sorry.

I now say please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The second ever message I received here was 'Get here cunt'.

Did you ? "

No. I deleted it.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Short 1 or 2 word messages put me off. Ones that say I have an amazing body and pics do too, I don't have any pics like that on my profile.

To the "Can I ask you a question?" one I now say "You just did".

Amazing how much confusion that causes

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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago

Near enough


"Short 1 or 2 word messages put me off. Ones that say I have an amazing body and pics do too, I don't have any pics like that on my profile.

To the "Can I ask you a question?" one I now say "You just did".

Amazing how much confusion that causes "

I do this too

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I am always perplexed by the ones that say I'm gorgeous or whatever since I have no face pics public. The ones I delete tend to be those that ask me to shit on them, Domme them or are rude about another woman whilst messaging me.

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By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock


"My balls need emptied (sic), I need draining, or some variation like that. I'm not some form of milkmaid. "

A cock needs milking in Penge.

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By *rladytoyMan
over a year ago

bournemouth


"I am always perplexed by the ones that say I'm gorgeous or whatever since I have no face pics public. The ones I delete tend to be those that ask me to shit on them, Domme them or are rude about another woman whilst messaging me."

Ah balls was just gonna ask you to shit on me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple just sending me their postcode with nothing else in the message, apart from the unwritten expectation that, as a single male profile, I'll jump in my car and drive to their house for a fuck.

Delete.

Same message repeated later.

Delete. Block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My balls need emptied (sic), I need draining, or some variation like that. I'm not some form of milkmaid.

A cock needs milking in Penge. "

Don't be silly, Shag doesn't message people he's far too busy in the gym

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A couple just sending me their postcode with nothing else in the message, apart from the unwritten expectation that, as a single male profile, I'll jump in my car and drive to their house for a fuck.

Delete.

Same message repeated later.

Delete. Block. "

Was it a good postcode though? I'd have been looking it up on street view to be nosy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A couple just sending me their postcode with nothing else in the message, apart from the unwritten expectation that, as a single male profile, I'll jump in my car and drive to their house for a fuck.

Delete.

Same message repeated later.

Delete. Block.

Was it a good postcode though? I'd have been looking it up on street view to be nosy "

Never thought of that!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I keep seeing this title on the main forum page so have to say a resounding

NO!!!!!!!

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By *ivinefoxWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

I hate it when someone says they're staying in a hotel for the night/parked up in their lorry and would I care to join them?

Er...No

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By *uckoocuckooMan
over a year ago

Tayside/Fife

want your cock sucked?

(from a random male)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The second ever message I received here was 'Get here cunt'. "

Tempting!

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

We weren't very impressed with a message we got the other day asking for just Mrs to meet alone, in which they said they thought she looked "ok"!

Would anyone else meet with someone that described them as OK?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Howz u?

I hate it when I get the above!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is not a good first message

What else gets an instant delete?"

I Know! It should totally have been MAY I fist you?...tch...grammar has just been so neglected nowadays...

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Is not a good first message

What else gets an instant delete?

I Know! It should totally have been MAY I fist you?...tch...grammar has just been so neglected nowadays... "

I suspect proper grammar will be the last thing on your mind when someone is up to their elbow in you....!

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By *kindofmagicXXXMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I always send a nice polite message to begin with. Tried longer messages and still get deleted. Even if the first one appears dull it is only a gentle introduction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if you give me a cervical sweep too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is not a good first message

What else gets an instant delete?

I Know! It should totally have been MAY I fist you?...tch...grammar has just been so neglected nowadays... "

This!

Every time this thread has been in the forum board preview I've been thinking "May. May I fist you? Grrrrr"

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Is not a good first message

What else gets an instant delete?

I Know! It should totally have been MAY I fist you?...tch...grammar has just been so neglected nowadays...

This!

Every time this thread has been in the forum board preview I've been thinking "May. May I fist you? Grrrrr""

Dam it I'm going to Mcdonald's later and all I'm going to think is will they say "may I help you " or "can I help you" now!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you have more pics?"

Yes. I do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our fave was "u have nice pussy lol"

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By *laire888Woman
over a year ago

Gloucester

'are you fertile'

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By *otlerCouple
over a year ago

Newbury

Can I suck your tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My balls need emptied (sic), I need draining, or some variation like that. I'm not some form of milkmaid. "

I'm sure Ann summers sell a sexy milk maid outfit :p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want to meet now,when its at stupid O`clock in the morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you want to meet now,when its at stupid O`clock in the morning "

Yeah what's with couples thinking I'm gonna travel across the country to pork the wife at 4:30am??

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Do you want to meet now,when its at stupid O`clock in the morning

Yeah what's with couples thinking I'm gonna travel across the country to pork the wife at 4:30am??"

I had that with a woman about 10 years ago off POF,txt message overload, then "come to Bridgnorth now, doors open" I got ready to leave and said "leaving now" to get "why the fuck you doing that, I wasn't serious". She then said meet me for drink the next day, didn't show. She then txt the following week saying "I'm wet, are you up for some phone sex". Last heard off her about 5 years ago out of the blue, I suggested a drink and got the classic response "no thanks, to be honest you come across as a bit of a timewaster and I don't trust you" . Bless her, thank god she sticks to POF and not this site

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands


"Do you want to meet now,when its at stupid O`clock in the morning

Yeah what's with couples thinking I'm gonna travel across the country to pork the wife at 4:30am??

I had that with a woman about 10 years ago off POF,txt message overload, then "come to Bridgnorth now, doors open" I got ready to leave and said "leaving now" to get "why the fuck you doing that, I wasn't serious". She then said meet me for drink the next day, didn't show. She then txt the following week saying "I'm wet, are you up for some phone sex". Last heard off her about 5 years ago out of the blue, I suggested a drink and got the classic response "no thanks, to be honest you come across as a bit of a timewaster and I don't trust you" . Bless her, thank god she sticks to POF and not this site"
btw it was 230am when she asked me to come over the first time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My usual response is "if you'd read my profile you'd know I'm in work" lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'hey' as a one word message OR 'do you have a face pic' OR 'do you fancy a meet'. All great lines for a first message.

Even better, 'Hey, do you have a face pic and do you wanna meet'.

Cos I always send a face pic to a complete stranger after one message and I'm so desperate for a meet that I agree to meet a complete randomer after one message!

I'd be interested to know what the success/failure rate of such poor/crass messages is.

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands


"'hey' as a one word message OR 'do you have a face pic' OR 'do you fancy a meet'. All great lines for a first message.

Even better, 'Hey, do you have a face pic and do you wanna meet'.

Cos I always send a face pic to a complete stranger after one message and I'm so desperate for a meet that I agree to meet a complete randomer after one message!

I'd be interested to know what the success/failure rate of such poor/crass messages is. "

Significantly high, then they delete profile as blocked loads of times, then come back on new ones and send the same kind of messages/ Ad infinitum

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

"I have been looking at your pics and you are absolutely gorgeous! Amazing figure" I have one pic showing...of my cleavage...lol

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands


""I have been looking at your pics and you are absolutely gorgeous! Amazing figure" I have one pic showing...of my cleavage...lol"

Well ok " I have been looking at your one pic and you have an absolutely gorgeous cleavage"....! If you're happy with that, perhaps we can have wild sex now, get your coat etc...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have in my profile not to ask how I am as it not a good opening line for me, and it will get you deleted instantly - why should I make the effort if they don't? it also singles out the one one's who don't read your profile all the way through. I had some fantastic meets off guys who do read all the way through and therefore send a lovely message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is not a good first message

What else gets an instant delete?"
for me it's "I think you're gorgeous " if I get that my fingers on the delete I broke my screen last time

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport


"Is not a good first message

What else gets an instant delete?"

What about as something like the 70th response in a forum posting?

Can I .....

No on second thoughts you seem very nice and I really don't want to annoy you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'hey' as a one word message OR 'do you have a face pic' OR 'do you fancy a meet'. All great lines for a first message.

Even better, 'Hey, do you have a face pic and do you wanna meet'.

Cos I always send a face pic to a complete stranger after one message and I'm so desperate for a meet that I agree to meet a complete randomer after one message!

I'd be interested to know what the success/failure rate of such poor/crass messages is.

Significantly high, then they delete profile as blocked loads of times, then come back on new ones and send the same kind of messages/ Ad infinitum "

Not only do I have on my profile to not use such lines, not only have I just been in the forum saying 'this is an instant turn off, basically' when I get a message that says 'Hey, you have great curves, do you have a face pic?'

To which I think someone is clearly trying to wind me up and reply 'Fuk off!'

Aarrrrggghhhh some people!!xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Text me 077** ****** and quote "price my job"

Received this morning! Lol (blanked his number out)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I laugh at the ones that say they just wanted to say how gorgeous/beautiful I am....I have no public pictures...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ones where you had chatted to someone and then the conversation fizzled out so a week later you get the same identical first message off them. You obviously weren't that interested in who we are otherwise you'd have bother to remember talking to us

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By *G LanaTV/TS
over a year ago

Gosport

Just received another of my frequently less than inspired messages, 'How big are you'. As usual sent from a single straight male with an identikit profile.

Guess where this ones going.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of my 1st messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dam! I was all excited that this was a thread about fisting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It was.... Initially

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am always amused when the sender gets shitty if you say no

Random message (not peculiar to this site)

Them : Wanna suck my cock ?

Me : Not particularly

Them : Timewasting wanker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am always amused when the sender gets shitty if you say no

Random message (not peculiar to this site)

Them : Wanna suck my cock ?

Me : Not particularly

Them : Timewasting wanker "

Couldn't agree more!

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By *eLuv2PlayCouple
over a year ago

Alpena

I want to give you the best fuck of your life.

Delete!

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By *ighting17thMan
over a year ago

Bodmin


"Anything badly spelled, graphic, unimaginative and dull x"

That description covers 98% of the messages that flood to my mailbox!!

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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago

Manchester Area


"My mate was once barred from a pub for being fisted on a pool table "

Bloody diabolical ..He should complain

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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago

Manchester Area


"Just received another of my frequently less than inspired messages, 'How big are you'. As usual sent from a single straight male with an identikit profile.

Guess where this ones going."

If they look at your sexy is they can see ...

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By *AM2214Man
over a year ago

Manchester Area


"Ones where you had chatted to someone and then the conversation fizzled out so a week later you get the same identical first message off them. You obviously weren't that interested in who we are otherwise you'd have bother to remember talking to us "
think I'd remember chatting to you two??????

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By *ivnwcplCouple
over a year ago

liverpool


"Is not a good first message

What else gets an instant delete?"

"Hi Mum and Dad" does it for us

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By *usterMan
over a year ago

worthing

I've solved the problem of my first post causing instant delete. I skip to the second. Try it on me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My balls need emptied (sic), I need draining, or some variation like that. I'm not some form of milkmaid.

A cock needs milking in Penge.

Don't be silly, Shag doesn't message people he's far too busy in the gym "
lol and that's right I am as well

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By *usterMan
over a year ago

worthing


"I've solved the problem of my first post causing instant delete. I skip to the second. Try it on me "

Thanks to everybody who has skipped straight to sending me a second message

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