FabSwingers.com forum: Inviting people home

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK, so we're still relatively new to the swing scene, have attended clubs but nothing more so far.

We're planning drinks with a couple at a local bar.

Now, we're not shy but we are safety cautious - so, how do you approach the possibility of inviting essentially complete strangers into your house. What if any safety precautions do you take - for all we know, that perfectly lovely couple on FAB could be nightmare psycho's in reality!!!

Do you do more than one meet to get to know someone first, or do you just jump straight in and not worry about the possibility?!

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

I got to know a guy through several socials and then felt comfortable enough to bring him back to mine. Had some great meets, but then he just started to turn up out of the blue when my son was at home. Then when I had got new verifications on my profile, he turned up calling me a slag and banging on the door. Blocked him and reported to fab.

He then started turning up at 5am every morning and leaving letters.

I threatened him with the police and never heard of him again, so I won't accommodate whatsoever anymore.

I think as a couple you'll be fine, but any signs of weirdos, get it nipped in the bud quickly.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

*off

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By *lec and BelCouple
over a year ago

Walton-On-Thames

We pretty much apply the same rules to potential playmates as anyone else we'd have over to the house. If we'd be uncomfortable having someone round for dinner fully clothed why would we have them round naked?

You can usually get a sense of people from meeting them, so trust your instincts. For us that usually means being at least very noncommittal setting up a first meeting. It seems fairer to us to be clear and upfront about it just being a social meeting in the first meeting and setting up another date for play later if it all goes well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust your instincts ,they will be too . X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never have anyone back to mine and never go to theirs either. Some people to think it's fine but to me it just seems mad and much too risky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never accommodate I don't want people off here knowing where I live but for those who do surely you just go with gut feeling, it's your home if your unsure about somebody don't take them home, maybe book a hotel first meet see he that goes

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I always meet socially first time and tell 2 people about it.

Then if there is a play meet I also tell those people.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Before I meet someone I have a mental check list of things, noone knows this list except me. I use it no matter who or where I'm meeting although I generally do meet at home, I'd never meet anyone until I thought I knew them well.

I've only met lovely, respectful guys, noone has in anyway shape or form abused my hospitality.

On the flip side of the coin I was talking to a male friend after he had been over for the first time and he said it was daunting for a guy to go to someone's house for the first time.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

It is daunting very

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't accommodate in our home, it is a family home.

End of story

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes, the more we think about it, the less we like the idea to be honest.

I'm sure most couples we meet would be lovely, but as you say......its your home, maybe for us these things are best left in clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A thorough frisk search before entering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm new to this....but have met a few people on here and certainly my fwb all seem to have had no problems entertaining at home or visiting others....I'm sure there are not that many axe murderers on here.....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have first meets at my home and I move house regularly. That pretty much takes care of it

Seriously though, although most people you meet are safe and ordinary, there's always a small but real risk in inviting strangers round. And if that risk is at the front of your mind during the meet, you aren't going to enjoy it.

Maybe you should book a nice hotel somewhere and go back there after the bar.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"....

I'm sure there are not that many axe murderers on here.....?"

Once you meet one axe murderer there's not much chance you'll meet another....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"....

I'm sure there are not that many axe murderers on here.....?

Once you meet one axe murderer there's not much chance you'll meet another....

Very true!

And I was sorry to hear of a previous posters experience.

Which I would hope doesn't happen very often.

I have invited people back to mine, one particular couple and I have been invited several times to other peoples homes. I always treat people with respect and discretion. More often than not I meet with a social first and hopefully get a gut feeling through that. Which works both ways.

Being new, or even not, I can understand your apprehension, but meet socially whether once or more, listen to your gut feeling and hopefully the people you meet will treat you with the same respect and discretion that you would treat them!

Choose wisely.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Maybe you should book a nice hotel somewhere and go back there after the bar. "

I think mad axe men/serial killers are pretty OK with any location, although at least I'd be found by the maid, and not two weeks later after my cats had eaten me.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

More of a worry is getting a 'stalker' type. Won't leave you alone and turns up at your house uninvited

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