FabSwingers.com forum: well...what would u do?

By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

you arrange a meet at yours on Thursday for sat with someone semi-regular and they msg sat saying someone else is going to theirs tonight do u want to join?

I said no btw and have fun...

and also won't be meeting him again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I wouldn't, cos it seems they are more interested in meeting the other one instead of me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/08/15 21:49:58]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'd say no too. Its plain rude.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, read that all wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/08/15 21:50:47]

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By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

exactly!! and you have to have some self respect line somewhere don't u? I ain't no second choice I mean it's all good and well swinging is fine and no one owes me loyalty but cancel a meet with me to meet someone else..it's just no going back oh well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd of had the meet with you and asked if you'd consider joining me and someone else in the future, assuming that I knew you liked threesomes of course

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

They asked if you were interested, you said no.

That's fine.

Just arrange to meet them one to one, another time.

You're not in a relationship of exclusivity.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"They asked if you were interested, you said no.

That's fine.

Just arrange to meet them one to one, another time.

You're not in a relationship of exclusivity. "

no but they did have an arrangement which they reneged on.

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By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I'd of had the meet with you and asked if you'd consider joining me and someone else in the future, assuming that I knew you liked threesomes of course"

yes that's how i would of done it myself.....on the bright side..she cancelled on him...but I got mine elsewhere

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By *eovilcouple76Couple
over a year ago

yeovil

Had this the other night. Had arranged a solo meet with a guy. Was just getting in the car to go meet him when he messaged saying he'd been invited round to a local couples house and did I want to go with him.

Answer was no and he was instantly blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They asked if you were interested, you said no.

That's fine.

Just arrange to meet them one to one, another time.

You're not in a relationship of exclusivity. "

But he was already meeting her!

Very rude!!!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I wouldn't be impressed at that if you already had plans. I'd of done the same as you.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"They asked if you were interested, you said no.

That's fine.

Just arrange to meet them one to one, another time.

You're not in a relationship of exclusivity. "

No but they had plans already and he made other plans instead. Not good!!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

No, it's disrespectful. I wouldn't mind someone before or after me or at the same time, but being put second and dumped then no.

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By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"They asked if you were interested, you said no.

That's fine.

Just arrange to meet them one to one, another time.

You're not in a relationship of exclusivity. "

no not at all and he meets others regularly as do I there's no question of jealousy or being exclusive but you really would have to have no self respect to still meet this person after they cancelled on you to meet someone else...or am I missing something?

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I've had something similar recently. I thought we had a meet, he then said he was going to a club and I would see him there. Erm no.

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

That he cancelled at the last minute on the day of the arranged meet.

Yes that's poor behaviour.

That he cancelled to meet someone else.

That's irrelevant.

It doesn't matter if he's meeting another woman.

But he did cancel at too short notice.

That was his error.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"That he cancelled at the last minute on the day of the arranged meet.

Yes that's poor behaviour.

That he cancelled to meet someone else.

That's irrelevant.

It doesn't matter if he's meeting another woman.

But he did cancel at too short notice.

That was his error."

I disagree entirely. If he cancelled at short notice because he will ill/car broke down/got called to work etc then you'd give the benefit of the doubt. The fact that he already made plans then cancelled to meet someone else?? I'm baffled that someone thinks that's ok

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By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 16/08/15 22:09:33]

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By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"That he cancelled at the last minute on the day of the arranged meet.

Yes that's poor behaviour.

That he cancelled to meet someone else.

That's irrelevant.

It doesn't matter if he's meeting another woman.

But he did cancel at too short notice.

That was his error."

your right..but I still would have no self respect if I continued to meet him dont you think...and you have to have some sense of worth here else you will just get used..unless that's what your into of course..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a meet was arranged with you first that should have been honoured. Nsa or not that's bloody rude of him.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"That he cancelled at the last minute on the day of the arranged meet.

Yes that's poor behaviour.

That he cancelled to meet someone else.

That's irrelevant.

It doesn't matter if he's meeting another woman.

But he did cancel at too short notice.

That was his error."

You wouldn't feel a bit shit of a woman you were supposed to meet told you last minute she'd arranged to meet someone else and would you come along? Wouldn't that intimate that you were insufficient fun for her?

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

GENUINE QUESTION

If Person A and Person B arrange on Monday to meet on Saturday night.

And on Tuesday,

Person B cancels because they have an opportunity to meet someone else on Saturday and this is an opportunity that they have been working towards for several weeks.

Why would you be upset that they are going to meet someone else?

You have plenty of time to make other arrangements for your weekend.

Isn't the beauty of this scene that we are not constrained by wanting sole possession of those we play with?

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

His mistake was saying he had a better offer. Should have gone with having a tooth ache.

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By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"GENUINE QUESTION

If Person A and Person B arrange on Monday to meet on Saturday night.

And on Tuesday,

Person B cancels because they have an opportunity to meet someone else on Saturday and this is an opportunity that they have been working towards for several weeks.

Why would you be upset that they are going to meet someone else?

You have plenty of time to make other arrangements for your weekend.

Isn't the beauty of this scene that we are not constrained by wanting sole possession of those we play with? "

I'm not upset it's vaguely amusing however I dont need to be second choice or a back up to anyone. there are plenty of lovely people on the scene and I'm more than happy to move on. I'm not angry or annoyed but I don't have to accept that's how I should be treated and I won't and he cancelled two hours before meeting. and yes I met someone else and had a lovely time thank you

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

"GENUINE QUESTION

If Person A and Person B arrange on Monday to meet on Saturday night.

And on Tuesday,

Person B cancels because they have an opportunity to meet someone else on Saturday and this is an opportunity that they have been working towards for several weeks.

Why would you be upset that they are going to meet someone else?

You have plenty of time to make other arrangements for your weekend.

Isn't the beauty of this scene that we are not constrained by wanting sole possession of those we play with? "

If they had cancelled earlier it wouldn't have been quite so bad but on the actual day is unbelievably rude. Us girls put in a lot of effort for meets you know!!!

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

"You wouldn't feel a bit shit of a woman you were supposed to meet told you last minute she'd arranged to meet someone else and would you come along? Wouldn't that intimate that you were insufficient fun for her?"

Honestly no.

Over the years, I've been last minute cancelled on twice.

I still met those women again after their cancellations.

They gave me their excuses.

Whether I believed them or not doesn't matter.

(They didn't say they were meeting someone else though)

Cancellations are bloody annoying but I'll allow another chance to those who are worth cutting some slack.

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By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"His mistake was saying he had a better offer. Should have gone with having a tooth ache."

it was so good she cancelled and he was on fab half the night looking for another meet. from what I saw we haven't spoke today

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By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Honestly no.

Over the years, I've been last minute cancelled on twice.

I still met those women again after their cancellations.

They gave me their excuses.

Whether I believed them or not doesn't matter.

(They didn't say they were meeting someone else though)

Cancellations are bloody annoying but I'll allow another chance to those who are worth cutting some slack."

cancellations are fine I've done it myself life happens. but obviously it wasn't good enough to risk a regular guaranteed at it all night meet to meet a new person so where do understand draw the line at self worth?

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"His mistake was saying he had a better offer. Should have gone with having a tooth ache.

it was so good she cancelled and he was on fab half the night looking for another meet. from what I saw we haven't spoke today"

He cancelled because he had a better offer. She cancelled because she had a better offer. Maybe her better offer cancelled on her to meet you!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"His mistake was saying he had a better offer. Should have gone with having a tooth ache.

it was so good she cancelled and he was on fab half the night looking for another meet. from what I saw we haven't spoke today

He cancelled because he had a better offer. She cancelled because she had a better offer. Maybe her better offer cancelled on her to meet you!"

Its the circle of life.

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

He was after a threesome and tried to be crafty about it.

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By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"His mistake was saying he had a better offer. Should have gone with having a tooth ache.

it was so good she cancelled and he was on fab half the night looking for another meet. from what I saw we haven't spoke today

He cancelled because he had a better offer. She cancelled because she had a better offer. Maybe her better offer cancelled on her to meet you!"

now that would be karma lol

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By *urpleflowersXXX OP Woman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"He was after a threesome and tried to be crafty about it. "

I was happy to have a threesome but when I want it not because he did and she's not my type..I would prefer to choose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had this the other night. Had arranged a solo meet with a guy. Was just getting in the car to go meet him when he messaged saying he'd been invited round to a local couples house and did I want to go with him.

Answer was no and he was instantly blocked. "

Why? He was only asking you if you fancied something different to the original plan!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"He was after a threesome and tried to be crafty about it.

I was happy to have a threesome but when I want it not because he did and she's not my type..I would prefer to choose"

I got this recently. A guy wanted to meet but wanted also to bring a couple along. When I told him I don't play with couples he said 'but you're bi'. I told him that I was, but only with women I had chosen. It hadn't occurred to him that I may have a preference with the women I play with as well as the men. He did apologise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

His loss.....!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Answer was no and he was instantly blocked.

Why? He was only asking you if you fancied something different to the original plan!"

Didn't sound like it was an option...more a sorted meet....so would be a no from me to.

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"His loss.....!"

Why?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're right to have the hump as its plain rude to have arranged a meet and cancelled to meet someone else.

Know one should have to play second fiddle to anyone else. If you arrange to meet someone they should be your sole focus for the day.

It sounds a little like he was hedging his bets a little in the hope he could arrange the other meet but he has come up empty handed and lost a friend to boot. Onwards and upwards for you my dear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd have done the same as the op. If you have a genuine reason to not meet then fine but because you have arranged another meet isn't a good reason x

I'd have blocked after telling him why

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be a no thanks, have fun and cya from me. Don't mind being cancelled on for an actual reason, life happens, but 2 hrs before for someone else is just disrespectful to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They asked if you were interested, you said no.

That's fine.

Just arrange to meet them one to one, another time.

You're not in a relationship of exclusivity. "

THIS..... ^^^^^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have asked why he had arranged to meet someone on the day of our meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They asked if you were interested, you said no.

That's fine.

Just arrange to meet them one to one, another time.

You're not in a relationship of exclusivity.

THIS..... ^^^^^^^

And what if she did arrange to meet him another day and he does it again? Would you be back up plan fwb?

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By *aramelMINXWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

It is rude but seems like a lot edge their bets by having ppl in reserve just incase

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"It is rude but seems like a lot edge their bets by having ppl in reserve just incase

I sometimes do, but that's if the guys car breaks down or he goes silent. Not to arrange to meet because I've gone off the idea of the first guy. That's rude.

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

"They asked if you were interested, you said no.

That's fine.

Just arrange to meet them one to one, another time.

You're not in a relationship of exclusivity.

THIS..... ^^^^^^^

And what if she did arrange to meet him another day and he does it again? Would you be back up plan fwb?"

If a woman arranged to meet me and gave me a few days notice that she wants to cancel because she is meeting someone else.

Then that's cool with me because she's given me a few days notice.

I can make other plans.

We're not bound together.

She can see other people as can I.

................................

BUT

The guy was disrespectful to the OP.

Not because he was meeting another woman.

But because he cancelled on the OP at the last minute.

(Technically he didn't cancel, he asked her to join him with another woman)

That was poor form.

He should not have made such a late change and he's lost a regular meet because of it.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"you arrange a meet at yours on Thursday for sat with someone semi-regular and they msg sat saying someone else is going to theirs tonight do u want to join?

I said no btw and have fun...

and also won't be meeting him again"

We read this posting 9 hours after it had been posts 06.30 Monday morning.

You arranged on Thursday to meet someone on Saturday, but they message to meet someone Monday night and you have got annoyed.

Why?

This is a swingers site not a dating site people are free to meet who they like when they like.

You don't say he/she cancelled your meet, they asked if you wanted to join another meet.

Nothing wrong with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chancers = disrespect

Just because it is a swingers site doesn't give people the excuse to be rude, and as for this its a sex site not a dating site analogy that crops up, well it's a poor excuse for rude behaviour

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By *hattyman80Man
over a year ago

stockport

That's just crazy. Some people just can't understand how to behave and conduct themselves. It's annoying as good guys on here get lost amongst the chancers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't meet them, I only meet socially first and I wouldn't want to turn up at theirs only to find the other person isn't for me and I have had a guy wanting to meet me but was going to bring a friend, consequently we didn't meet and won't be

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Chancers = disrespect

Just because it is a swingers site doesn't give people the excuse to be rude, and as for this its a sex site not a dating site analogy that crops up, well it's a poor excuse for rude behaviour "

Please explain how it is rude behaviour?

She has arranged to meet a person later in the week, that person has extended a further invatation for her to meet not only him/her but another person on a different day.

How is that rude?

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"You're right to have the hump as its plain rude to have arranged a meet and cancelled to meet someone else.

Know one should have to play second fiddle to anyone else. If you arrange to meet someone they should be your sole focus for the day.

It sounds a little like he was hedging his bets a little in the hope he could arrange the other meet but he has come up empty handed and lost a friend to boot. Onwards and upwards for you my dear. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chancers = disrespect

Just because it is a swingers site doesn't give people the excuse to be rude, and as for this its a sex site not a dating site analogy that crops up, well it's a poor excuse for rude behaviour

Please explain how it is rude behaviour?

She has arranged to meet a person later in the week, that person has extended a further invatation for her to meet not only him/her but another person on a different day.

How is that rude?"

I think you have read it wrong. He messaged her Saturday to ask if she wanted to go to his as he was meeting someone else that night. So he had already arranged a meet with her, and then gone on to arrange a meet with someone else the same night and just invited her along.

If it was me I wouldn't meet him again either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chancers = disrespect

Just because it is a swingers site doesn't give people the excuse to be rude, and as for this its a sex site not a dating site analogy that crops up, well it's a poor excuse for rude behaviour "

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

I would find it quite rude and not meet again due to his lack of manners. It would be a shady thing to do to a mate in the vanilla world, so why ok here.

Think seeing it about second choices or being a back up, is a bit simplistic as who knows why he did it, but its definitely about being respected as a person he made clear plans with.

I'd have made other plans and not meet him again too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be annoyed. Mainly because once I've decided I want to meet someone it normally takes a fair amount of planning to organise and normally involves a hotel so I would definitely feel like I was second best option and not worthy of the guy's time. Plus it isn't easy for me to find someone last minute so I would end up with a wasted evening.

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By *amesB66Man
over a year ago

St Peter Port

Karma! He cancelled you, was then cancelled by his new date, you had a great time with a late replacement and he spent half the night trying to find one.

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By *parklesglitzWoman
over a year ago

Mancs

Be intetesting to see his side

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By *huramMan
over a year ago

London

"That's just crazy. Some people just can't understand how to behave and conduct themselves. It's annoying as good guys on here get lost amongst the chancers "

There is absolutely no reason why one man should be held responsible for the actions of another.

The man who tried to alter plans with the OP, is the only man who needs to be judged.

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By *parklesglitzWoman
over a year ago

Mancs

"That's just crazy. Some people just can't understand how to behave and conduct themselves. It's annoying as good guys on here get lost amongst the chancers

There is absolutely no reason why one man should be held responsible for the actions of another.

Two sides to every story

The man who tried to alter plans with the OP, is the only man who needs to be judged."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have asked why he had arranged to meet someone on the day of our meet. "

I would imagine that the second meet was based on him claiming that he had a bi female fuck buddy to bring along...hence Why it went tits up when she declined to be part of it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have asked why he had arranged to meet someone on the day of our meet.

I would imagine that the second meet was based on him claiming that he had a bi female fuck buddy to bring along...hence Why it went tits up when she declined to be part of it...

I read the whole thread to check if anyone had written it! Haha yes his newly arranged meet didn't work because you didn't go. I'd have done the same if we want a meet with one person we want that one person we had been chatting to not someone new that we don't know is out type/into stuff we like. Glad op had a good night regardless though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Chancers = disrespect

Just because it is a swingers site doesn't give people the excuse to be rude, and as for this its a sex site not a dating site analogy that crops up, well it's a poor excuse for rude behaviour

Please explain how it is rude behaviour?

She has arranged to meet a person later in the week, that person has extended a further invatation for her to meet not only him/her but another person on a different day.

How is that rude?"

That's how I read it too.

If I arrange a meet, I quite often say to one of my partners 'do you fancy coming along too?'. I don't think that's rude. I think that's more like... sharing the wealth.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Rude.

It's not okay to make arrangements with someone then invite someone else along without prior discussion. That's poor behaviour.

Whilst this may be swinging, I'll decide who I spend time with thanks.

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Cancellations can happen for all sorts of reasonable reasons...This though is not good behaviour. If you have met someone and chat about whether someone else could ever be involved, then fine...but you would negotiate that together and plan it together [or as agreed...]...Saying there is someone else around and 'you can come along too' on the day of your planned meet is really off.

Good luck with whatever you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd of had the meet with you and asked if you'd consider joining me and someone else in the future, assuming that I knew you liked threesomes of course

yes that's how i would of done it myself.....on the bright side..she cancelled on him...but I got mine elsewhere

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"They asked if you were interested, you said no.

That's fine.

Just arrange to meet them one to one, another time.

You're not in a relationship of exclusivity. "
. However it is a bit insulting to make the arrangement and then ask someone else along.Very ill mannered. and greedy .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rude.

It's not okay to make arrangements with someone then invite someone else along without prior discussion. That's poor behaviour.

Whilst this may be swinging, I'll decide who I spend time with thanks. "

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