FabSwingers.com forum: How to ask wife to become swingers

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Popcorn out....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pulls chair up...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Gets the haribos

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"

Standard answers are ... Tell her about your profile here, she's already doing it, you're a bastard you haven't told her ... Etc

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

There is always only one answer to this and that is to tell her and once you get your answer if it is a no then respect it.

My work here is done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"

From behind a tea tray

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just take her to a Party and see how she reacts. Surprised would be my guess.....after that you're on your own!! Possibly quite literally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New phone,

Text her with a invite to one but don't let on its you and see if she turns up

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"

sit down with her, tell her you love her and that you would like to try something new.

Good luck

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Hey honey, im arranging a swing party and youre invited, shall we go buy you a nice outfit?

Good luck however you approach it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

are you hoping to get her on side before 23rd? That might be stretching it a bit

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By *umslut jannineTV/TS
over a year ago

nottingham

Do you watch porn together

Find a film with the right content

MMF or FFM for example then ask if she has ever fantasised about trying it .

It worked for me

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/08/15 23:24:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her you've had a profile on here before and you've set up a new one as a single male to fined some great sex, then ask If she would like to join you.

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

No popcorn or chairs allowed without saying what the flavour is or the type of chair .. come on now, play the game by the rules

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

"No popcorn or chairs allowed without saying what the flavour is or the type of chair .. come on now, play the game by the rules "

childish attention seeker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"

ask here if she would like to be aquainted with the bin man whilst the milk man watches

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No chips and dip?

Poor show.

For advice, please see my comment on another thread tonight, the one about how do I tell my wife I want to suck a cock in front of her.

Similar circumstances but the thread has some genuinely good advice on it.

Please take some of it and u could actually have your cake and eat it.

Shit, I could have used that in the other thread but said cock and not cake.

*scurries off

Miss Nico

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By *ztec101Man
over a year ago

durham

Just tell here u usually go with her sister but she Carnt make it this week and is there any chance u could fill in for here lol

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By *estinysswingersCouple
over a year ago

Worsley

Tell her over a romantic meal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe re evaluate your morals - were you on here before as a couple?

If not then you need to decide whether to come 'clean' or not.

But the longer you leave it, the harder it will be!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife

From behind a tea tray"

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By *akedwife12Couple
over a year ago

Midlands

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife

Standard answers are ... Tell her about your profile here, she's already doing it, you're a bastard you haven't told her ... Etc"

What is wrong with these people?

Be honest with your wife. Tell her you have been on here looking for sex elsewhere and does she want to join in.

If she doesn't then fair enough. You still need to be honest with her really but it is your choice.

Surprising just how many people aren't honest with their partners on here.

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By *akedwife12Couple
over a year ago

Midlands

Quick question OP.

You are trying to organise a party for the 23rd.

Is that with or without your wife??

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

We met a couple a few years ago as soon as we spoke to the guy his wife said not this again and walked off he then told us he was trying to get his wife to swing she had no idea she was going to meet us

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We met a couple a few years ago as soon as we spoke to the guy his wife said not this again and walked off he then told us he was trying to get his wife to swing she had no idea she was going to meet us"

How embarrassing for you and awful for her. I wonder if she stayed with him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her you always fancied her mate, and you've thoughtof a way you can get to shag her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What an asshole - imagine being set up like this by someone who should be the most trusted person in your life, some people have zero respect for their partners

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By *akedwife12Couple
over a year ago

Midlands

What an asshole - imagine being set up like this by someone who should be the most trusted person in your life, some people have zero respect for their partners

We agree with you that the spouse should be the most trusted person in your life. Also agree with your zero respect comment.

But you must agree though, it seems quite a few on here do not feel their partners deserve that trust or respect.

Shame really...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What an asshole - imagine being set up like this by someone who should be the most trusted person in your life, some people have zero respect for their partners

We agree with you that the spouse should be the most trusted person in your life. Also agree with your zero respect comment.

But you must agree though, it seems quite a few on here do not feel their partners deserve that trust or respect.

Shame really..."

That was the subtext of my comment......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few pointers, ignore the popcorn/chair/haribo idiots at the top, these people seem to enjoy others embarrassment. Delete your profile and go about it the right way, talk to her with the respect she deserves and ask if it's something she's ever thought about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or just take her to a club and say SUPRISE

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By *akedwife12Couple
over a year ago

Midlands

"That was the subtext of my comment......"

We understood, just wanted to make our comments in agreement with you.

A very relevant comment has also just been made above.

Show her the respect she deserves.

Exactly how it should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A few pointers, ignore the popcorn/chair/haribo idiots at the top, these people seem to enjoy others embarrassment. Delete your profile and go about it the right way, talk to her with the respect she deserves and ask if it's something she's ever thought about "

You beat me to it.

OP, you're doing this arse about face. Like many others I may add.

The only way to get into swinging with your wife is to do it together.

Swinging isn't a magic fix for a damaged relationship, no more than a baby or marriage is.

Talking is the best start. Make sure you're relationship is sound before you approach this.

Does she know about your sexuality yet?

I'd delete my profile and talk to my wife. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You beat me to it.

OP, you're doing this arse about face. Like many others I may add.

The only way to get into swinging with your wife is to do it together.

Swinging isn't a magic fix for a damaged relationship, no more than a baby or marriage is.

Talking is the best start. Make sure you're relationship is sound before you approach this.

Does she know about your sexuality yet?

I'd delete my profile and talk to my wife. Good luck. "

Maybe those idiots are sick of people who have zero respect for their partner? Maybe it pisses them off when they read the OPs profile and see they have been here before? And they are hiding the fact they are bisexual from their partner too! What if they caught an sti and passed it on? Id love to know have they any intention of telling their wife. But I doubt it. Instead they will probably delete the profile and rejoin. Thats very helpful to him but not his unsuspecting wife/partner!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You beat me to it.

OP, you're doing this arse about face. Like many others I may add.

The only way to get into swinging with your wife is to do it together.

Swinging isn't a magic fix for a damaged relationship, no more than a baby or marriage is.

Talking is the best start. Make sure you're relationship is sound before you approach this.

Does she know about your sexuality yet?

I'd delete my profile and talk to my wife. Good luck.

I better clarify; I was agreeing with the delete your profile and go about this the right way.

I meant to chop the 'ignore the idiots' bit.

As you'll see from what I wrote; I think the OP is going about this all wrong.

I asked if his wife knows he's bi. He hasn't said she doesn't, unless I missed it?

I'm not going to cast moral judgements though as I'm not without fault myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You beat me to it.

OP, you're doing this arse about face. Like many others I may add.

The only way to get into swinging with your wife is to do it together.

Swinging isn't a magic fix for a damaged relationship, no more than a baby or marriage is.

Talking is the best start. Make sure you're relationship is sound before you approach this.

Does she know about your sexuality yet?

I'd delete my profile and talk to my wife. Good luck.

I see. So your comment was useful or helpful? Or just plain old idiotic?

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

Just ask her at the right moment... after a nice fuck, maybe? That's when I (G) asked my ex if she'd like to try swinging and she said a very firm "no". Not long after I'd met Rose I asked her the same question and the reply was a very positive "YES" and we've been swinging ever since. Some women will, some won't - good luck!

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

How do you graduate?

You just graduate.

How do you ask your wife to swing?

You just ask her if she wants to swing.

These threads are always the same.

The real question being asked is how can I get her to do what I want with no risk to me or the relationship.

The answer is you can't.

She has free will to say yes, no or fuck off get me a divorce.

You know her better than any of us, so you will know the best opportunities, situations, moods and words to get the optimum response you want.

Ideally it would have been before you married, but I don't have a spare time machine.

So weigh it up and ask or don't, but in any good relationships communication is always important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"

After many,many months of talking 'he' signed us up to another site. (Without my knowledge) then text me to check it out. I think he thought I'd delete the profile.I didn't. . just edited

could try that . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do they still sell alphabet spaghetti?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"

Say 'please'. A lot. ?

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By * n SCouple
over a year ago

dundee

Nobody can give you a definitive answer as nobody here knows your wife or how shed react to the suggestion. You can however try talking to her about fantasies, see if she has any, what they are, see if they involve other people. Tell her yours. If you get positive feedback then try suggesting there could be ways for them to become reality. If she sounds interested in that then tell her about this site you've heard about, clubs etc. If however it seems her only fantasy is to have an early night with a good book or such like then you may well be on a hiding to nothing

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"

Bring a group of your male friends round to your house to watch the football, after its finshed say to your wife strip off love your on next, it always works.

Seriously you need to talk to your wife, not just about sex and swinging but about everything.

Find out what she likes and tell her what you like, once you both know what each other likes and dislikes you can then begin to understand each other.

Once you can understand each other you will both know what would give pleasure or cause concern.

Don't ask advice from a group of strangers talk to your partner and get to know her

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

Can not understand these threads what do married couples talk about in bed. We got married very young Paul was my first we always did a lot of pillow talk saying things turning each other on.

Started reading girly Magazines in bed the stories and the letters turned us both on we both wanted it told Paul not to push me i would when it felt right.

Been swinging now 36 years made our marriage very strong and happy happier than any of our friends who most have played away or been married before which none of them know about this side of our life

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By *hocolate007Man
over a year ago

london

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"

tell her you were tricked into a swinger party bak in the days and bumped into the same guy that tricked you into it and that he has invited you to another so called birthday party but this time around you want your wife there for security just incase it turns out to be a swingers party .

That way you play ignorant all along while givin all her senses a full blown experience of raw sex in 3D and high definition at the swingers party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You beat me to it.

OP, you're doing this arse about face. Like many others I may add.

The only way to get into swinging with your wife is to do it together.

Swinging isn't a magic fix for a damaged relationship, no more than a baby or marriage is.

Talking is the best start. Make sure you're relationship is sound before you approach this.

Does she know about your sexuality yet?

I'd delete my profile and talk to my wife. Good luck. "

I couldn't agree more, she will feel like she has been deceived and lied to otherwise and maybe completely shut down to the idea as a result.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

We met a couple in a pub the lady said not this again and walked off the man had not told her they were meeting us and had done the same thing before how bad was that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We met a couple in a pub the lady said not this again and walked off the man had not told her they were meeting us and had done the same thing before how bad was that "

Wow! That's incredibly disrespectful for just about everyone, the couples they meet and his partner!

Once you might call an unfortunate misjudging of her potential reaction, but to do it again ...

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By *tallionExoticaMan
over a year ago

Islington

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife

Standard answers are ... Tell her about your profile here, she's already doing it, you're a bastard you haven't told her ... Etc

What is wrong with these people?

Be honest with your wife. Tell her you have been on here looking for sex elsewhere and does she want to join in.

If she doesn't then fair enough. You still need to be honest with her really but it is your choice.

Surprising just how many people aren't honest with their partners on here.

My point exactly, why can't people be more honest with their OH in such situations?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (mr) have read through some, but not all of the replies.

It was me who wanted to explore the swinging scene. I mentioned it a few years ago, and Mrs point blank said no. Then a few years later, we read a story about a couple who swung through personal ads online. Around the same time, a good friend told me about fabswingers, and Mrs came round to the idea. So lucky me.

Equally though, if she'd still said no, I'd have respected that decision. Not have a profile behind her back. After all, she's my life, this is just a bit of fun.

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By *weeteamCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

Few drinks float the idea as a bit of fun.Slapped face means bad idea , wet pussy means arrange a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should get a glass or 2 of vino down her neck and then just blurt it out.

That's what I did with Mrs N. She was fine about it and definitely wanted to give it a try. The ex Mrs N before was horrified and told me I was a filthy pervert. Needless to say we are no longer together.

Good luck with the Blurt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just give her a couple glasses of wine and take her to a night club in west Bromwich call xtasia she might love it more than you do, good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"New phone,

Text her with a invite to one but don't let on its you and see if she turns up

Love this answer!! Genius

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"
get on your knees and beg her or show her some of the selection of handsome guys that would be available to her xxx

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

If my hubby wanted me to go again, I would not because the last one we went to was one of the most horrific experiences of my life and totally traumatised me - but I do got to clubs and larger parties in bigger venues. I still swing, but cannot see the fascination with some of these things ...

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

Well, 4 weeks later, and after reams of advice and namecalling in answer to your question you are now single. I guess the wife said ' no' ?

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

Does any on actually come home from work sit having tea and just comes out with it by the way love fancy swinging to night how are you fixed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"
just say " fancy coming to a swingers club with me darling "

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Well, 4 weeks later, and after reams of advice and namecalling in answer to your question you are now single. I guess the wife said ' no' ? "

No he had the single profile when he posted.

So he could still be trying to meet behind her back.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

"Does any on actually come home from work sit having tea and just comes out with it by the way love fancy swinging to night how are you fixed "

I know it just came up as part of sex and sharing fantasys and previous sexual experiences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife"

Very carefully.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say " darling fancy shagging somebody else I do "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These threads should have a Part 2 - I asked the wife and she said....,

In our own case hubby asked me, I said no. He asked me again, I said lets give it a try - ended up I liked it more often and more wild than him - solution is a single and a couples profile and an open marriage - win win! M x

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By *randmrsminxyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

how's about leaving laptop open on your profile page , nothing like honesty in a relationship.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

Personally I think it is a long term project.

The come home from work, ask her if she wants to go to a swinger party route would usually end up with a frying pan (or worse) on the back of your head. OK you might get lucky but I wouldn't bet the farm on it.

Try bringing the subject up from a third party point of view, I was talking to someone at work/down the pub/at the footy and him and his Mrs went to a swinger party/club Etc. Or as someone else said you could go down the Porno route.

Gauge her reaction, if she holds her hands up in horror and says things like "bah I could never do that" then you are pretty much fucked.

It is unlikely that she will jump up and say let's do it tomorrow but you could get comments like "I wouldn't dare do that" or "I would be too scared to do that" which means that she could be interested and you could develop the idea further.

Leave it a while (a couple of weeks or so) then bring it up again. Something like Tom/Dick/Harry was telling me that him and his Mrs went to a party/club and had a wild night last weekend. Again see how she reacts but don't push it too hard or it could blow up in your face.

If you are lucky it could work, if not then you have to accept it and get on with your vanilla life.

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"These threads should have a Part 2 - I asked the wife and she said....,

Yes I would love that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks like it went well. The OP has posted a meet today at his place. Do tell OP. We are gagging to know what happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends if she is quite open in the bedroom? Is she willing to try new things, if she is a missionary kinda gal my thinking is she won't be up for it but if she likes it all different ways, watches porn and stuff chances are she will say yes, think about it first and then bring it into conversations, me at the ex dabbled in it but it was always me more than him, now we've split we've turned into very different people, I swing all the time (more if I could) and he gets off on it and is trying it himself!!

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a friend years ago who was having marriage problems. At the bottom of the problem was sex.

It turned out he was too embarrassed to ask his wife for a blow job.

I was truly amazed that communication was so limited that he couldn't even bring himself to discuss this sort of thing with the women he had vowed to life with forever.

Anyway he did eventually. She had apparently thought he didn't like oral and when asked was delighted to do it and much more besides.

The same thing struck me in this instance.

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By *ssex couple 4uCouple
over a year ago

witham

Ask her if she has ever fancied being fucked by another guy..

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I had a friend years ago who was having marriage problems. At the bottom of the problem was sex.

It turned out he was too embarrassed to ask his wife for a blow job.

I was truly amazed that communication was so limited that he couldn't even bring himself to discuss this sort of thing with the women he had vowed to life with forever.

Anyway he did eventually. She had apparently thought he didn't like oral and when asked was delighted to do it and much more besides.

The same thing struck me in this instance."

It's easier to talk to strangers for some people.

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By *abydollxxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham - Selly oak

"Just tell here u usually go with her sister but she Carnt make it this week and is there any chance u could fill in for here lol"

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The simple answer is that you can't ask her to do it. She has to want to do it. I would suggest that you dump your p single profile and go back to your wife, then once you discovered why you married her in the place float the subject and see what she says. If its a yes then start the journey together if its a no then decide what it is you want for yourself and either stay with her or grow a spine and get out..

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By *otjustaswingerWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Have always wanted to go to swingers parties any advice on how to approach the subject with my wife

sit down with her, tell her you love her and that you would like to try something new.

Good luck"

I like this one

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

Simples. Tell her you want to put some more spice in your lovelife (i guess she will b relieved you bought up the subject). Then tell her that the kinkiest thing she can do for you is to allow you to watch her get fucked by lots of other men.

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