FabSwingers.com forum: Message anxiety

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello I have just realised that I'm afraid of sending a message. I /we have been swinging for just over two and a half years I had no problems messaging people before and had some success in meeting people plus I didn't really get many ignored messages either but since my fb left to start a family back in November I haven't sent one message. I kidded myself in saying there wasn't any women that I liked or they was too nice too young too pretty to be interested in me but really it's me. Has anyone else had the same issue?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Hello I have just realised that I'm afraid of sending a message. I /we have been swinging for just over two and a half years I had no problems messaging people before and had some success in meeting people plus I didn't really get many ignored messages either but since my fb left to start a family back in November I haven't sent one message. I kidded myself in saying there wasn't any women that I liked or they was too nice too young too pretty to be interested in me but really it's me. Has anyone else had the same issue? "

Now and again, yes. I take a break for a bit.

Eventually you need to decide if you want to take a deep breath and dive in again or give up. Either is fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

noone likes rejection, but for a bloke on here you will experience plenty of it. Still amazes me to actually get a polite no thanks message back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say I get anxious, but I do get very disillusioned at times. I am a serial profile killer

specifically for this reason.

I try to remain positive and to ignore the ignorance, but sometimes, when I put a great deal of effort into a message with no response, I can get morose and cynical. I am very reluctant to message anyone now, which I admit is rather counter productive!!

Such is life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The rule of thumb for unemployed people jobhunting in the 1980s was if you send of ten applications you might get one interview; if you get ten interviews you might get one job offer.

The numbers may be different, but the same principle applies for fab messaging.

Good luck - and don't give up!

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

a well written message will always get a reply off us , even if a polite no thanks. One liners generally don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, disillusionment settles in regularly. Just phases, as with everything. Take your time and get back when you feel comfortable, or a need to push yourself,just don't push too hard

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By *etzPlayCouple
over a year ago

Southend

"The rule of thumb for unemployed people jobhunting in the 1980s was if you send of ten applications you might get one interview; if you get ten interviews you might get one job offer.

The numbers may be different, but the same principle applies for fab messaging.

Good luck - and don't give up!"

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

Everyone seems to have misread the OP.. Unless it's me

I thought he was saying he HASN'T sent any messages, not that he has and not had replies?

OP - are you perhaps hung up on the ex-fb? Maybe you saw them as more than that?

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"Everyone seems to have misread the OP.. Unless it's me

I thought he was saying he HASN'T sent any messages, not that he has and not had replies?

OP - are you perhaps hung up on the ex-fb? Maybe you saw them as more than that?"

I will correct myself before I get pounced on.. Not everyone, some of those commenting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everyone seems to have misread the OP.. Unless it's me

I thought he was saying he HASN'T sent any messages, not that he has and not had replies?

OP - are you perhaps hung up on the ex-fb? Maybe you saw them as more than that?

I will correct myself before I get pounced on.. Not everyone, some of those commenting"

I'd pounce on you for entirely different reasons

After reading your point, I'd like to apologise if it gave the impression I thought he'd been sending messages, it was supposed to have been encouragement not to rush into anything if he isn't ready

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Maybe fab needs a message all function a bit like drag net trawling. That way you get all the fish in the sea, plus a few whales and sharks too.

Then you don't need to worry about rejection as someone is bound to say yes. Law of averages and all.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I can relate to OP...the amount of effort to send messages for virtually no response (on average) can affect motivation. But then a message from someone you know already, or some forum silliness, can reinvigorate just enough.

Hang in there OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Everyone seems to have misread the OP.. Unless it's me

I thought he was saying he HASN'T sent any messages, not that he has and not had replies?

OP - are you perhaps hung up on the ex-fb? Maybe you saw them as more than that?

I will correct myself before I get pounced on.. Not everyone, some of those commenting"

Not at all about the ex fb lol I was just using her departure from the swinging world as a time when I had to start messaging again. I've never been a serial messager I don't need to be, I pick the women who's profile best matches what we're both looking for. I don't know if it's just I haven't seen a profile that matches or what? but I will get back into the swing of things for sure.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"Hello I have just realised that I'm afraid of sending a message... Has anyone else had the same issue? "

Well you shouldn't worry OP, for several reasons:

- You have a good profile

- a good sets of pics

- you're verified

- and the communication (M - F) is considered the norm.

However I do prevent myself from messaging another guy, worried that being a cross-dresser, doing so might offend them.

So, as long as you're still M (and not CD/TV/TS), message away...!

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"Everyone seems to have misread the OP.. Unless it's me

I thought he was saying he HASN'T sent any messages, not that he has and not had replies?

OP - are you perhaps hung up on the ex-fb? Maybe you saw them as more than that?

I will correct myself before I get pounced on.. Not everyone, some of those commenting

I'd pounce on you for entirely different reasons

After reading your point, I'd like to apologise if it gave the impression I thought he'd been sending messages, it was supposed to have been encouragement not to rush into anything if he isn't ready"

No need to apologise, I got what you were saying

wondered if anyone would pick up on the pounce

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"Everyone seems to have misread the OP.. Unless it's me

I thought he was saying he HASN'T sent any messages, not that he has and not had replies?

OP - are you perhaps hung up on the ex-fb? Maybe you saw them as more than that?

I will correct myself before I get pounced on.. Not everyone, some of those commenting

I don't send first messages, hate rejection! But also I get what you are saying.. I think that if I liked the look of someone and sent a message then after a couple of messages realise they are not for me, I'd feel like I've kind of led them on, because I made first contact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Ms Deviant) rarely if ever send messages to guys.. not afraid of rejection I dont think but I just find it difficult.

I do send messages to couples and single girls but only really to the latter when I am actually advising on something else. x

I think sometimes you can get yourself into a rut and its hard to get out x

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