FabSwingers.com forum: Expecting a slating, but here goes.....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Evening All,

A question for the wise women on this site. Would you rather:-

A) An attatched guy who is honest about it and has a legit reason (even if you may or may not beleive it)

B) A lying B'stard who claims he is single, but then can't do anything excpet daytimes / hotel meets?

Answers on a postcard.

Now girded my loins against the comments, so do your worst, but be constructive please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's tough work as an attached male isn't it?

My Hubby has my full permission to meet others and he has such a difficult time of it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Tough work has got to be the understatement of the year! Sometimes think it would be easier to just slice the damn thing off!

To be fair, you women do have your pick of the opportunities and single men, but you'd think that some would appreciate a guy who clearly has something to lose, and therefore is less likley to turn out to be a stalker type!

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Evening All,

A question for the wise women on this site. Would you rather:-

A) An attatched guy who is honest about it and has a legit reason (even if you may or may not beleive it)"

Legit reason? Are you on acid or something?

There is NO legitimate reason for cheating.

"or

B) A lying B'stard who claims he is single, but then can't do anything excpet daytimes / hotel meets?"

Exactly, a lying bastard.

Either way, the 'cheater' is NOT and will NEVER be 'honest.'

They are always lying to someone. Either their partner/spouse or the person who thinks they are single.

Swinging is about trust and honesty.

Something that cheaters don't respect or even acknowledge.

And by the way........ the bit on your profile about having a 'normal' affair, or not... because thats when people get hurt......

Get real, if a wife/hubby finds out that their partner had sex with anyone else.......... that fucking hurts, regardless of whether it's a 'one nighter' or a 'normal affair'

So in answer to your question...

Neither

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

but you'd think that some would appreciate a guy who clearly has something to lose, and therefore is less likley to turn out to be a stalker type!"

And that has to be the most distasteful, idiotic and moronic thing I have heard this year........ and I work with the military!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Here we go, bring it on...

Madchick, thank you for your views put across in such a constructive manner.

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk

but you'd think that some would appreciate a guy who clearly has something to lose, and therefore is less likley to turn out to be a stalker type!

And that has to be the most distasteful, idiotic and moronic thing I have heard this year........ and I work with the military!!!!"

now I know you are exagerating pmsl!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Evening All,

A question for the wise women on this site. Would you rather:-

A) An attatched guy who is honest about it and has a legit reason (even if you may or may not beleive it)

B) A lying B'stard who claims he is single, but then can't do anything excpet daytimes / hotel meets?

Answers on a postcard.

Now girded my loins against the comments, so do your worst, but be constructive please!

constructive... okay...

some people will mind what you are doing, some people won't mind.....that is life...

however the thing that a lot of people hate is when people try to "justify" the decision they make....

so the question really is this... are you using it to "justify" your actions to yourself to make yourself feel better..... or to others so they will have sympathy for you....

because I know whom I have sympathy for right now.... the one who didn't have a choice in the decision you made....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fabio,

Thanks, now that is constructive. As for justifying, maybe both. The situation is as described, my options are limited. I'm not such a selfish uncaring guy else I would just bugger off, but for better and worse and all that, BUT, I am only human and there is only so much relief one can give yoruslef.

Yes, it is cheating, and no doubt the majority of people will share your views, but thanks again for being constructive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Neither, as there are plenty of genuinely nice single gents on this site to keep me entertained!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

because I know whom I have sympathy for right now.... the one who didn't have a choice in the decision you made...."

And of course I had a choice in the matter when she fell ill - not a dig, just an observation, or is that justification

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Neither, as there are plenty of genuinely nice single gents on this site to keep me entertained!

I totally agree with you pearl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends what you mean when you say a guy who is honest about it? If he's being honest then his partner would know and he wouldn't be cheating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

because I know whom I have sympathy for right now.... the one who didn't have a choice in the decision you made....

And of course I had a choice in the matter when she fell ill - not a dig, just an observation, or is that justification

Nope, but had no one mentioned, lifes not fair.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i admire your honesty, but cheating is still cheating, if you have your partners blessing as another poster said she has given her partner then thats fine and in my opinion not cheating as she knows and is happy.

ask your self how would you feel if you found out your partner had been playing away without your knowlage, and be honest

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

" I am only human and there is only so much relief one can give yoruslef.

Without knowing, or needing to know, any details of your wife's situation, I wonder how much relief she is able to get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The one who is man enough to tell his conquests of his status... is the man id pick.

We can all judge, we can all get on our soapbox, but at the end of the day we are all human, and the ones with the holier-than-thou attitude really get my back up.

Life isnt always black and white, and we all do what we need to make sure that it sometimes has a little colour. Wether that be with our partners consent or not.

People will cheat, lie and scheme always have always will , the ones that never have to are in a very fortunate position!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All valid points, keep 'em coming! if nothing else it gives people a chance to vent their spleen and is starting to convince me I may as well just be another lying bastard and set up another profile as a 'single' guy (along with many others I'm sure)

Sharp Dressed Man, without giving anything away, that is not an issue, beleive me. If it were, then this problem simply would not exist and we would go back to where we were many years ago, shag happy.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

"Here we go, bring it on...

Madchick, thank you for your views put across in such a constructive manner."

You want constructive?

Right..... your wife is ill.

You are trying to shag a swinger behind her back because you see it as an easy and 'non' hurtful option.

You are prepared to leave your wife alone whilst you cheat on her.

Whether or not you see it as 'honest' by telling people you are married, it is still cheating and therefore a repugnant act.

The fact that your wife is ill makes it doubly so.

As I previously stated, swinging is about trust, honesty and truthfulness....... none of which you are showing to your wife.

By trying to 'justify' your actions, you are showing a callous side and a flagrant disregard to your 'for better or for worse, in sickness and in health' vows.

Couples swing because it brings something extra to their relationship.

Singles swing because it gives them something they want/need/desire/crave.

Cheaters swing because they have the morals of an alley cat, the ethics of Hitler and the truthfulness of a politican.

There are married and cheating sites, specifically for people who want to cheat. Those that wish to get a quick shag because they have blisters on their right hand might find it better to join one of those.

However, there are always people on here who will meet those who are 'attached' and have no compunction in justifying it to themselves.

The majority of us however, have no wish to be labelled home wreckers or marriage breakers.

Just ask yourself...... if your wife found out, how would YOU cope with her feelings of being humiliated and destroyed by the one person she thought she could trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The one who is man enough to tell his conquests of his status... is the man id pick.

We can all judge, we can all get on our soapbox, but at the end of the day we are all human, and the ones with the holier-than-thou attitude really get my back up.

Life isnt always black and white, and we all do what we need to make sure that it sometimes has a little colour. Wether that be with our partners consent or not.

People will cheat, lie and scheme always have always will , the ones that never have to are in a very fortunate position!

understand your point but we like to play with people we trust, so some one who is dishonest to their partner we could never trust, after all if they can lie to them then its much easyer for them to lie to us, could be about anything but for us trust is important in swinging. not beeing holyer than thou just our feelings, if the guys is going to cheat then anything we say wont stop him, but he did ask for opinions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I stop to consider the sacrifices that people make in support of their own moral codes = dickwads that start threads like this make me smell slime.

If men/women are so weak as to allow the 'need' for sex to obliterate any respect/love they should have for a partner then they are worthless to anyone - including themselves.

If we follow this 'must do it cos I need it' argument - set rapists and pedophiles free. Stop slimming , keep on stealing.

It's all okay. You felt the need - a strong need. You exercised your weakness publicly. You indulged yourself. You put your own needs above others.

Don't give me the 'I'm only human' argument. ' I stay with her cos I love her even though I can't fuck her' That doesn't make anyone a saint or bleedin martyr.....it's ONLY sex not air.

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

We can all judge, we can all get on our soapbox, but at the end of the day we are all human, and the ones with the holier-than-thou attitude really get my back up.

For some of us, it's not a holier than thou attitude.

It's a side bought on by nearly being destroyed by one person who had your complete trust and enduring love.

Yes, there are worse things than being cheated on, there are everyday trauma's being suffered by many that put things into perspective......... but...... the pain you feel when it happens to you is so great that nothing else in the world matters. The humiliation nearly destroys you and the fact that you have every ounce of confidence stripped away makes you feel so self loathing, that it is pitiful.

Those that want to shag cheaters can do so....... it is truly their business.

And be it holier than thou or not.... at least I have enough pride to look myself in the mirror everyday and know that I am not causing another wife the hurt that I once suffered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All valid points, keep 'em coming! if nothing else it gives people a chance to vent their spleen and is starting to convince me I may as well just be another lying bastard and set up another profile as a 'single' guy (along with many others I'm sure)

Sorry for pointing out the obvious but why not speak to your wife, she may actually give you her blessing, as for you may as well become another lying bastard arent you already lying to someone?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Madchick,

I can understand your ire, you make some very good constructive points for which I thank you.

This was the sort of 'discussion' I was hoping to provoke, as someone new to this, how esle do I undertsand the culture that exists within the community.

This is all actually very helpful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And be it holier than thou or not.... at least I have enough pride to look myself in the mirror everyday and know that I am not causing another wife the hurt that I once suffered."

Agree with Madchick on this one!

I turned down a meet seconds before I was due to leave my house shortly before midnight a couple of nights ago.

He and I had been chatting for nearly a year, and we lived quite a distance away from each other, and he works silly hours.

He moved to an area much closer to me than before, and when I saw his status about being able to have a late night meet I jumped to it.

Just when I got ready to leave the house, I found a message from him asking if I was aware that he is not in a relationship, hence he could only meet at silly hours etc...

I was gutted and had to decline meeting him.

The reason? I was labelled a home breaker by the families of my ex-hubby and late partner.

I regret having hurt my ex-hubby for cheating on him, all because he could not light my fire and provide me with the fireworks I longed for.

Hence I refuse to play with anyone that is in a significant relationship, as the guilt of knowing I have helped a person to cheat on another person is too much for me to bear.

It is not about moral high ground or holier than thou attitude. My choice is based on painful personal experience that I do not wish to repeat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus Christ, I knew you expected a slating but wow!

If you choose to sleep with someone behind your wife's back then that is on your concience only. I won't play with married men but thats because I like to have someone who's available and think too much of myself to be anyone's second best. It has feck all to do with my concience!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

constructive okies ..well NEITHER for me. i dont tolerate liers ,lifes too short .plus if anyones being dishonest they clearly have no reguard for anyone but themself, and getting what THEY want anyway possible . plus they obviously think they are smarter than everyone else to think they wont get sussed out !why would anyone want involved with that ??? certainly not me lol !

as for the married man being honest about wife not knowing .... well one thing is at least people know situation before hand and can choose if they wish to go down that path ,and there are thoses who do . i personally dont as i dont wish complicated situations and a guy who has to clock watch or jumps anytime his mobile goes . plus meets are hard enough to organise with peoples works familys ect ...why add to that by factoring in sneeking around an unknowing wife /girlfriend ? and if any person thinks they can sneek behind partners back they are deluding themself .you will get found out ..maybe not straight away but sometime and the shite WILL hit the fan . sorry but i aint gonna be at ground zero when that happens .

marrige vows state in sickness and in health ,not till you get horny and need release ! i just think if your wifes ill and not up to or wanting sex ,how much worse is she going to feel when she finds out you were out meeting other women for sex?

as for your comment about it being hard to get meets in your situation ..... ITS HARD FOR EVERYONE LOL !! Ive been trying over a year to find a single guy to meet regularly !!! lol !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Granny crumpet, u can hardly put cheeters in the same class as rapists and pedophiles ! Consentual sex wether cheating or not is indeed a need ! BUT cant be compared to the compulsion to rape someone ffs !

Madchic (i think , sorry didnt take enough notice )

You have clearly been betrayed and hurt in the past , so can fully understand yor strong feelings on the subject. Your opinion is a much valid one just like some others

I dont think the OP wanted everyones opinion on wether what he is doing is morally correct, everyone has a different moral standing... just a what would you prefer if any .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me I always prefer to know that a guy I am playing with is Married, so we appreciate the truth.

As to the reasons they are doing it, that is for them....now I have been cheated on so I do know how it feels... but I am not here to hold moral judgement.

No its not for all, but for me a Married man is more likely to be discreet and less likely to start hassling me via text..( which Master and I have had from Single guys..)

So to answer the OP, for me honesty whatever the case is always best for me.

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as for your comment about it being hard to get meets in your situation ..... ITS HARD FOR EVERYONE LOL !! Ive been trying over a year to find a single guy to meet regularly !!! lol !!! "

WTF! Sort it out single men ! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Without going into details, I can assure you all that I too know the pain suffering and hurt that comes with finding out such a fact about a loved one (it also cost me my two children), so I did not enter into this lighty, but 'you', the community are certainly making your views felt, and again, that is all I was looking for.

At the and of the day this will 3 possible outcomes:-

1 - I'll go away

2 - I'll stay on as I am

3 - I'll lie on my profile

No point asking for a view on that one is there!

But, not 'knowing' the swinging scene, not knowing any swingers (although I probabley do but the majority of you all hide your faces!) this is the best way to guage how it all holds together and the moral attitudes that pervade.

As for moral highground, I don't expect that anyone hangs onto that for too long, it's a shifting beast and very much depends on your viewpoint, there are those who would look upon those of us on this site with disgust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not look upon those who are attached with disgust, as I can appreciate the reason(s) why they choose to do what they have decided to do.

It is just my personal choice not to play with anyone that is attached, that's all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay as you are !

Potential meets know your situation and can make an informed choice to meet you or not

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Pearl Necklace,

My comment was not aimed at you or anyone, so forgive me if it came across that way. I was attempting, perhaps poorly, to point out that the moral high ground depends upon the perspective that is being held and those outside the swinging world may consider this site and those on it as immoral compared to themsleves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry, no offence taken, just replying to clarify my situation, that's all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go for option 3 matey, if you’re lying to the person closest to you then you may as well lie to a bunch of faceless strangers on a swinging site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just leave it as you are..

Plenty of people on here appreciate that and do not mind Married men, or attached men..

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Plenty of people on here appreciate that and do not mind Married men, or attached men..

Any chance of an introduction!!!

You know, I think I may just have kept a sense of humour all through this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok, it’s been a bit of a ride! Taking myself of to bed, no doubt that some will leave messages here after I’ve gone, I’ll look back with interest.

My sincere thanks to those that have shown some level of understanding, or even downright encouragement, both publically here and in private messages, you know who you are.

My thanks also to those who very clearly let me know how they feel. I suspect that I have inadvertently stirred up some hurtful memories amongst some of you, and for that I do genuinely apologise, that was never my intention.

Despite all that has been said, it’s been fun in a perverse sort of way!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Please don't try to "justify" what you do... and please don't paint yourself as a "victim of circumstance....."

because we all know that in reality the REAL victim of the piece is.... it is the person you decided NOT to tell who is suppose to be the closest person to you in the entire world.....

you decided to make a conscious, cold and dispassionate decision... you haven't/didn't give the person you are suppose to love "in sickness and in health" the same decency.....

I also say to people to play devils advocate and if the situation how would you feel.... because it better be the best sex you ever had to risk it all on something like this.....

or how about this for a suggestion... you give me your wifes number.. and i'll just point her in the direction of this thread........ still worth the risk then?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it rather strange that people expect honesty from strangers they are meeting for nsa sex! I don't believe for one second, those that meet in clubs and dogging sites check the marital status of those there! We're not looking for soul mates so why be so sanctimonious?!!

My profile states "no married men" because I like my playmates to be "on call" and a "sorry Miss, have to take the wife to Waitrose" would be unacceptable to me.

I also meet at home: a home I share with my two daughters who have been known to thwart my plans. I don't meet in hotels ever, so there has to be a Plan B. Impossible if the wife is holding a coffee morning!

My life is busy and exciting enough. I like me, hell I'm pretty shuffed with me. I don't need to complicate my life or feel bad about myself by playing with a married man.

Whether a man puts his marital status on his profile or not I'd know! In three years of this lifestyle I've yet to encounter a timewaster or married man. I have several playmates I've played with for three years: those I no longer play with are still firm friends.

There is a glut of single men, and I'm slowly working my way through them: it's tough but I'm single minded! With that in mind, why oh why would I need to mess with other people's property?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you could just walk out on her. Then maybe everyone would be happy! I don't know the extent of your wife's illnes, but I did know one person whose spouse was on life support for years and she still stood by him even though he didn't know she was there. And why did she do that, for fear of society, that's why. Do what you want, fuck these forums, it's your life. Who cares what anyone else thinks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the and of the day this will 3 possible outcomes:-

1 - I'll go away

2 - I'll stay on as I am

3 - I'll lie on my profile

I'm not going to make comment on anything else... but is there not an option 4? and 5 as the person above has just pointed out.

Why can you not discuss with your wife openly and see if she consents? Surely this is the best answer all round?

Or if sex is that important to you, and she doesn't consent, then option no. 5 is clearly to leave her, if you really need sex that badly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the and of the day this will 3 possible outcomes:-

1 - I'll go away

2 - I'll stay on as I am

3 - I'll lie on my profile

I'm not going to make comment on anything else... but is there not an option 4? and 5 as the person above has just pointed out.

Why can you not discuss with your wife openly and see if she consents? Surely this is the best answer all round?

Or if sex is that important to you, and she doesn't consent, then option no. 5 is clearly to leave her, if you really need sex that badly!"

I may be being completely dumb here, but isn't the point of marriage or a relationship which differentiates it from friendship, the sexual/romantic side? It's all very well to say "if you need sex that badly" ... but it's not just the sex, it's the closeness, it's the made to feel wanted etc that makes it a relationship and not just a friendship. It's so easy to paint everything black and white, but life is not that simple. Perhaps he doesn't want to leave her because he loves her? Because it's not just about sex, otherwise he'd have left already. If he posts on his profile his wife is sick, he'll get hammered. If he posts on his profile he's married he'll get hammered. If he posts that he's a willing cheat he'll get hammered. If he posts that his wife's okay with it but is unable to verify that, he'll get hammered. The man can't win. But I think he knew that before he posted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the and of the day this will 3 possible outcomes:-

1 - I'll go away

2 - I'll stay on as I am

3 - I'll lie on my profile

I'm not going to make comment on anything else... but is there not an option 4? and 5 as the person above has just pointed out.

Why can you not discuss with your wife openly and see if she consents? Surely this is the best answer all round?

Or if sex is that important to you, and she doesn't consent, then option no. 5 is clearly to leave her, if you really need sex that badly!

Yes of course, however there are plenty of people in this world that can give us those things. When we select a partner for life, they'll never be perfect in every way... you always hope of course but that's not the reality.... so we pick the things that are most important to us in a partner, and we put up with some of the not so good things because they aren't that important. So in reality the question really is... is sex that important to him, because if it is, then she isn't the right life partner for him, because it's not something she is capable of.

Dont get me wrong, and as I stated... I wasn't commenting, nor slating his decision as you can see, which was why I started my post as I did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the and of the day this will 3 possible outcomes:-

1 - I'll go away

2 - I'll stay on as I am

3 - I'll lie on my profile

I'm not going to make comment on anything else... but is there not an option 4? and 5 as the person above has just pointed out.

Why can you not discuss with your wife openly and see if she consents? Surely this is the best answer all round?

Or if sex is that important to you, and she doesn't consent, then option no. 5 is clearly to leave her, if you really need sex that badly!

Dont get me wrong, and as I stated... I wasn't commenting, nor slating his decision as you can see, which was why I started my post as I did. "

Fair enough. I think I'll step out of this one lol it hit a serious note with me! And we can't be having that ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair enough. I think I'll step out of this one lol it hit a serious note with me! And we can't be having that ffs

Oh nooo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well if your going to cheat whatever anyone says, then yes you should put it on your profile, then people who dont want to meet married men can pass you by, im sure there are those on here who will meet marrieds so maybe you will get lucky, as for finding it hard to get a meet, then im afraid welcome to swinging, everyone have a life outside swinging and finding a time that you and someone else, who ticks all the boxes for you and vica a versa, isnt easy for any of us....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as you know the truth about someone then its up to you to decide if you want to meet them or not.

I know people have strong views on this topic but it is up to the individual what they want to do.

We all have a choice on who we meet, married or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but you'd think that some would appreciate a guy who clearly has something to lose, and therefore is less likley to turn out to be a stalker type!

And that has to be the most distasteful, idiotic and moronic thing I have heard this year........ and I work with the military!!!!"

So does that indicate that you think members of the Military are idiotic & moronic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way i look at it is simple

If ya wanna chat then cheat i couldn't really give a toss as its your life and you are the one that will eventually suffer the consequences lol

What amazes me though is that some peeps have ta make a big issue of it on here and try to get it justified by others (that will never happen lol)

The best advise i can give is be truthful on ya profile about it then keep a low profile

You will still get meets,granted may be not as many

But at the end of the day you will be deceiving one less person wont you?? xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The way i look at it is simple

If ya wanna chat then cheat i couldn't really give a toss as its your life and you are the one that will eventually suffer the consequences lol

What amazes me though is that some peeps have ta make a big issue of it on here and try to get it justified by others (that will never happen lol)

The best advise i can give is be truthful on ya profile about it then keep a low profile

You will still get meets,granted may be not as many

But at the end of the day you will be deceiving one less person wont you?? xx"

Yes if you must do your thing...do it blooming quietly...lie your head if you like...hey its all on your Karma..and what goes around comes around...same goes for the peeps that meet you..

santimonious self publication/justification just makes you sound like a sleaze bag...just my 2p as you posted on a public forum..

(hint be willing to pay more for a prossie..you get what you pay for...!!!)

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I would say post it on your profile you are married, and then people can make a choice of wether to meet you or not.

what I wouldn't do if it was me is justify/explain why you are a married playing alone..for two reasons really

1. it isn't anything to do with anyone else.

2. it looks like you are after a sympathy shag.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so do the guys who lie actually tell you they are lying then....... lol......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Please don't try to "justify" what you do... and please don't paint yourself as a "victim of circumstance....."

because we all know that in reality the REAL victim of the piece is.... it is the person you decided NOT to tell who is suppose to be the closest person to you in the entire world.....

you decided to make a conscious, cold and dispassionate decision... you haven't/didn't give the person you are suppose to love "in sickness and in health" the same decency.....

I also say to people to play devils advocate and if the situation how would you feel.... because it better be the best sex you ever had to risk it all on something like this.....

or how about this for a suggestion... you give me your wifes number.. and i'll just point her in the direction of this thread........ still worth the risk then?????

Bloody hell fire, who made you so righteous?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Bloody hell fire, who made you so righteous?

Not a case of being "righteous" at all.... Although the one thing I do is Swing With a clear conscience... I am not hurting anyone and in the end it is about honesty and trust

so I see the Irony in a person who can be "honest" with a bunch of strangers to get their leg over.... yet can't be "honest" with the one person in the world they are suppose to love and trust more than any other.....

and do you know what... if calling people out on that makes me a bad person... then so be it!!!

thats why I said don't ""justify what you do... because people made a calculated decision to be here!

I just wish that there was more of a way of seperating those of us who are truely single for those are playing in effect without consent.... because unless they are "honest" (damn... that word again) in profiles, we would never know and get tarred with the same brush

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

people like to fling around the "righteous" word for anyone who has a really strong opinion on something like this....

so let me tell the people who agree with him a story of something that happened to 5 years ago....

there are people on this website that can verify that this is true, because they were there.....

I use to be "blase" about it all.... I was at a swinging party on a saturday night in the north west, I travelled across for it, knew people there, had a really good time....

then on the tuesday of that week I urgently get a phone call from a mod on that particular website asking if "single guy x" had been drinking at all...

i said no... "tea coffee and water, why you asking?"

"because single guy x was involved in a crash on the way back from the party... he had fallen asleep at the wheel, and he died...."

Now "single guy x" was a very well respected member of the community... been to loads of parties and events... nice enough chap

but that is when we found out that "single guy x" wasn't single at all... he was playing away

and then the wife found out about the website... and that wednesday afternoon basically lashed out at everyone and everything with pain and anger of losing someone she clearly loved....

and that stuck with me ever since.....

so for those thinking that people will never "find out"... let me give you all a newsflash....they do!

we have had stories on here of people who's other halves have found out... of people who have been harassed because they have been the "other person" of people who are still here and have regretted being "that person"

I am guessing this will be probably locked after this... but I will say this....

people sometimes don't think there is a "consequence" because they are thinking in the now... but for every action there is a reaction even if you can't see it..... I just hope that reaction isn't going to crush the people closest to you.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Won't quote the above as its too long but in response to it. I completely understand all you say and the story you tell is tragic. However, what you must realise is that not every circumstance is the same. The OP is open about his wife being very ill.

Your post above is very well put but the one I commented on earlier was incredibly harsh and quite vindictive.

Its easy to create strong opinions and you are of course entitled to them but the OP isn't looking for sex just because his wife doesn't 'do' it for him. I have my own strong opinions on those who seek extra marital liasons purely for this reason. He is, rather, seeking some sexual attention because life has been cruel and his circumstances are beyond his control. Is he to tell his wife? Is he to say to her that because of her illness he's off to shag about? Equally cruel I think. So instead he deals with his situation by being honest with possible playmates, while getting his kicks. Meaning he can be free then to go home relaxed and able to care for his wife.

All I ask is don't judge too harshly till you've walked a mile in someones shoes.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Posts have been removed.

If you are going to post please make sure you do it without insults otherwise it can result in you not being able to post at all.

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

" I completely understand all you say and the story you tell is tragic. However, what you must realise is that not every circumstance is the same. The OP is open about his wife being very ill.

Your post above is very well put but the one I commented on earlier was incredibly harsh and quite vindictive.

All I ask is don't judge too harshly till you've walked a mile in someones shoes. "

Exceptional response.

A close friend (not a swinger)recently divorced after her husband of twenty-odd years started cheating on her. She was devastated when she found out her husband had been lying and cheating. Her whole world fell apart.

Recently she started dating. Her new fella is married. He was totally upfront about his situation, that he had a wife, whom he loved and would not be getting divorced. My friend is totally accepting of his situation and fully intends to carry on seeing him.

Now comes the shades of grey...his wife has Alzheimers Disease. She is in a nursing home, no longer recognises him and hasn't for more than three years. She is no longer the person her fell in love with and married, but he still loves her and continues to visit her on a very regular basis. Is he cheating...is he a lying scumbag. Not to my mind.

Yes there are a lot of people who cheat on their partners and there are also people for whom life has dealt them a bloody lousy hand, and there are times when life just isn't so simple as to be able to label them all as scumbags. Until someone actually has to live in those situations it's nigh on impossible to be absolutely sure of the choices they would make.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's tough work as an attached male isn't it?

My Hubby has my full permission to meet others and he has such a difficult time of it."

My mates both give each other consent to play alone. she has a vanilla (although the husband does watch and sometimes join in) but he is having a bit of trouble getting meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I let my hubby play all the time if i am working ,so i dont mind as he always tells me about his meets x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WOW just took me ages to read through this thread.

I've been cheated on (my husband left me for the daughter of my sister!) and it is devastating. I have also been the 'other woman' at a time when I was very vulnerable. By choice I wouldn't meet a married guy on this site but sometimes there are no tell tale signs. Obviously the OP has been upfront and will therefore be passed by by a lot of people now but I guess there will always be some who don't mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Neither, as there are plenty of genuinely nice single gents on this site to keep me entertained!

lets hope so

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

but you'd think that some would appreciate a guy who clearly has something to lose, and therefore is less likley to turn out to be a stalker type!

And that has to be the most distasteful, idiotic and moronic thing I have heard this year........ and I work with the military!!!!

So does that indicate that you think members of the Military are idiotic & moronic?

It was tongue in cheek, as you very well know.

And for your information, I would NEVER disrespect one of our military, I would fight with my 'boys' (and they are my boys because I work with them everyday, more closely than you will ever know) if I could and yes, I would die with them if it was required.

So please don't twist my post to suit your own needs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but you'd think that some would appreciate a guy who clearly has something to lose, and therefore is less likley to turn out to be a stalker type!

And that has to be the most distasteful, idiotic and moronic thing I have heard this year........ and I work with the military!!!!

So does that indicate that you think members of the Military are idiotic & moronic?

It was tongue in cheek, as you very well know.

So please don't twist my post to suit your own needs."

well said.respect too you lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These type of threads always descend the same way. Yawn. Poor bloke for asking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"These type of threads always descend the same way. Yawn. Poor bloke for asking."

shurrup you ... bldy peeping toms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for me there would be no choice to be made. I would not want a someone to see my partner without me knowing so therefore I would not do this.

Yes it is simply cheating on both counts if there is no permission from the partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus Christ there are some self righteous people on here who don’t have the slightest clue to this chaps day to day circumstances. Some vitriol and shear bad manners by some of you is frankly unforgivable seeing as society frowns on swinging in general. How many of you are married or have been married and said in your vows to forsake all others?

As far as you or I know he has reasons for stopping with his partner, maybe we should think about it from another angle. Yes he is cheating, yes it will hurt her if she finds out but if he leaves her to peruse a single life will she hurt any less? I really don’t think so.

The OP has phrased his original question unfortunately and it has been jumped on which frankly is unpleasant to read, to compare him to a paedophile or Hitler and others is frankly out of order and shame on you who have done so. Personally it just looks as though many of you are venting personal frustrations on someone you don’t know and it frankly shows a nasty side to some of you.

He/she who has no sin cast the first stone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating can never be justified, and yes that’s never, so why do people even try? if your going to do it then at least be discreet about it and keep your head down, don’t bring it to a public forum for public discussion or you’re going to hear things you may not want to hear.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

It is clear there are those that have been effected by being cheated on so know how it feels.

There are those that will cheat and lie through their teeth

Then ones that will be "honest about it" I use those words in the loosest way.

Some people will clearly meet married people as they dont care as they justify it as they are not doing no harm and their concience is clear.

What I dont understand is why people that cheat are on this site. Now I know that it is open to eveyone.

But why a swinging site as cheating people are not swingers as the fact that they are cheating means their status changes from swinging to cheating.

I am single therfore I am not cheating and incuded in the swingling world as a swingler.

So why do cheaters come to swinging sites???

I really dont understand this. I have been told in various threads on this same subject that there are these sites so why do people not go to them where everyone is the same and want the same thing??

I know say people that like BDSM are on this site but believ there are sites that cater for that completely so everyone is like minded.

So to the OP everyone has had their say it seems and I will not say how it makes me feel as it isnt nice writing but why are you on this site rather than a cheating site?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok lets not take peoples comments out of context especially the peado/hitler comments.

It is a shame that not many just answered the question that was asked though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but you'd think that some would appreciate a guy who clearly has something to lose, and therefore is less likley to turn out to be a stalker type!

And that has to be the most distasteful, idiotic and moronic thing I have heard this year........ and I work with the military!!!!

So does that indicate that you think members of the Military are idiotic & moronic?

It was tongue in cheek, as you very well know.

So please don't twist my post to suit your own needs."

I DID NOT TWIST YOUR POST, I ASKED A QUESTION AND YOU ANSWERED..... IT IS DIFFICULT TO TELL IF POSTS IN THESE FORUMS ARE TONGUE IN CHEEK OR SERIOUS....

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By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

"It is clear there are those that have been effected by being cheated on so know how it feels.

There are those that will cheat and lie through their teeth

Then ones that will be "honest about it" I use those words in the loosest way.

Some people will clearly meet married people as they dont care as they justify it as they are not doing no harm and their concience is clear.

What I dont understand is why people that cheat are on this site. Now I know that it is open to eveyone.

But why a swinging site as cheating people are not swingers as the fact that they are cheating means their status changes from swinging to cheating.

I am single therfore I am not cheating and incuded in the swingling world as a swingler.

So why do cheaters come to swinging sites???

I really dont understand this. I have been told in various threads on this same subject that there are these sites so why do people not go to them where everyone is the same and want the same thing??

I know say people that like BDSM are on this site but believ there are sites that cater for that completely so everyone is like minded.

So to the OP everyone has had their say it seems and I will not say how it makes me feel as it isnt nice writing but why are you on this site rather than a cheating site?

The site is open to all adults. As stated earlier in the thread, there are people who won't meet married people who play without their partners knowledge, and there are those who will.

The question "what exactly is swinging?" has often been raised in the forums, and seems to be widely accepted that it is no longer just the 'couples swapping partners' group. There are people looking for specifc fetishes, singles only interested in playing with other singles, bi-sexuals looking for other bisexuals, couples only looking for singles, people who just want to chat, use the forums etc with no intention of meeting, singles looking to meet a life partner.....the list is endless.

I believe that as long as people are open about where they are coming from and what they are looking for - so that everyone is able to meet people who match their preferences - then there is room for everyone looking for recreational sex.

To answer the OP's question...I personally think it's best to be open on your profile then the people who don't want to meet someone who is, for whatever reason, playing without their partners knowledge can just avoid you, and those that are happy to play will.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Evening All,

A question for the wise women on this site. Would you rather:-

A) An attatched guy who is honest about it and has a legit reason (even if you may or may not beleive it)

B) A lying B'stard who claims he is single, but then can't do anything excpet daytimes / hotel meets?

Answers on a postcard.

C - neither of the above.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Us women on here soon le out the liars and trash from the genuine ones. I prefer someone to be honest,if your married say you are,you will get more respect from me for that,even though it will still be a no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well said that woman ,,, not read the rest but what ever way you look at it your going to break your wifes heart ,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Won't quote the above as its too long but in response to it. I completely understand all you say and the story you tell is tragic. However, what you must realise is that not every circumstance is the same. The OP is open about his wife being very ill.

Your post above is very well put but the one I commented on earlier was incredibly harsh and quite vindictive.

All I ask is don't judge too harshly till you've walked a mile in someones shoes. "

That way you are a mile away and you also have their shoes.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

All I ask is don't judge too harshly till you've walked a mile in someones shoes. "

Never let a fat person walk a mile in your shoes... they'll start out as heels and come back as flats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The OP has it clearly on his profile that he is wanting to cheat on his wife,at least people will be able to make a choice to meet him or not.

Personally we would never knowingly meet a married guy or woman who is cheating but there are people who do.

OP,i will say this though,doesnt matter how carefull you think you are liars and cheats do get found out in the end x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"These type of threads always descend the same way. Yawn. Poor bloke for asking.

shurrup you ... bldy peeping toms

LOL, how did you know?

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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago

Cyprus

but you'd think that some would appreciate a guy who clearly has something to lose, and therefore is less likley to turn out to be a stalker type!

And that has to be the most distasteful, idiotic and moronic thing I have heard this year........ and I work with the military!!!!

So does that indicate that you think members of the Military are idiotic & moronic?

It was tongue in cheek, as you very well know.

So please don't twist my post to suit your own needs.

I DID NOT TWIST YOUR POST, I ASKED A QUESTION AND YOU ANSWERED..... IT IS DIFFICULT TO TELL IF POSTS IN THESE FORUMS ARE TONGUE IN CHEEK OR SERIOUS...."

Please don't shout. It's a nasty habit, just like asking a question unrelated to the thread and just as annoying as trying to belittle someone by asking a thinly disguised question that makes it look like they disrespect our military.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I don't think anyone can complain that questions are asked on a thread that wasn't relevant to the thread when as usual most people went off on a tangent and not answered the original question that was raised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd like to know the reason why these people cheat. I don't have a problem with women who are cheating.

My standards are physical and chemical, not moral and after all, this is a place where you can do what you want with whomever you want and while that normaly means not hurting anyone, sometimes it doesn't (weak I know, but I am trying to defend someone elses view point).

I am, though, usualy interested to find out the reasons why people cheat on their spose, even if it's just to see if their 'justification' is valid or not.

that's my 2p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" So why do cheaters come to swinging sites???

Because Naughty Affairs (or whatever the sites are called) charge.

I used various sites (as a single, might I add) that charged for membership and happened upon this site after being told about it by my first couple. Been here ever since..........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey, another 2p! I'll be skint by the time I finish reading up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone in a similar position to the OP I have been through all these points numerous times.

If I choose to do what I do, then thats my business. Anyone who says "no married men" on their profile, I don't bother with. Anyone who writes back and says they don't play with married men, I just thank them for the reply and move on.

One couple I played with took the opinion that I was less likely to damage my marriage by playing with a couple as there would never be the chance of a relationship developing which might happen if I found a single woman to play with.

And to all the people who get on their high moral horses about what I do, I will just say talk to the hand cos the face ain't listening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone in a similar position to the OP I have been through all these points numerous times.

And to all the people who get on their high moral horses about what I do, I will just say talk to the hand cos the face ain't listening. "

Agreed! And the point above about other sites that charge. Whether its the right place or not, this site doesn't seem to just nick your credit card details like some so it's likely to attract more people from across the moral divide!

Maybe if people have such a problem moralising on other people's extra marital relationships, it would be good if the owners of this site setup a separate site so the two parties can play with like minded people... Just a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone in a similar position to the OP I have been through all these points numerous times.

And to all the people who get on their high moral horses about what I do, I will just say talk to the hand cos the face ain't listening. "

Yes,but does not say on your profile you are married so you are not giving people a choice if they meet you or not knowing that you are married.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Evening All,

A question for the wise women on this site. Would you rather:-

A) An attatched guy who is honest about it and has a legit reason (even if you may or may not beleive it)

B) A lying B'stard who claims he is single, but then can't do anything excpet daytimes / hotel meets?

Answers on a postcard.

Now girded my loins against the comments, so do your worst, but be constructive please!

After wasting time, energy and thought on previous posts..here is a straight answer..

No wouldn't meet a man who admitted he was cheating on his wife.

Liars...well thats a no brainer..who would knowingly meet a liar and a cheater.

So OP..its a NO..wouldn't wish to meet either thanks very kindly..!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone in a similar position to the OP I have been through all these points numerous times.

And to all the people who get on their high moral horses about what I do, I will just say talk to the hand cos the face ain't listening.

morals? this is a swingers site lol according to the laws of marriage and society you're all cheaters if you wanna do the morals thing

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I just spat my coffee out.......love the new name

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just spat my coffee out.......love the new name

xxx "

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

You make an excellent point. Marriage isn't just about sex, so not getting enough toad in the hole (for whatever reason) is no excuse really is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"morals? this is a swingers site lol according to the laws of marriage and society you're all cheaters if you wanna do the morals thing

I got married on 26th April 2002 and my vows went along the lines of this "I Shona take Steven to be my husband I promise to love honour and cherish thru sickness and health" there was no mention of til death do us part / as long as we both shall live, nor was there any mention of forsaking all others.

We never chose our vows they were the ones the registrar always used, and we never married in a church - I felt that would have been hypocricy since I was already a mother and we had been living together for years.

So I do not believe my husband and I are cheating or breaking our vows by swinging both as a couple and as singles. As long as the other knows who when and where we have no problem, and always go home to the other at night.

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am neither a woman nor would I claim to be the wisest on this site but I think that were the genders reversed then my answers would be A = NO, B = NO. I would not want to knowingly jeopardise another relationship what ever the reason. And neither would I want to be deceived into meeting someone who had been dishonest in order to encourage me to meet them. That said if someone lies on their profile how are you to know unless they slip up and give you cause to question their status. If a woman tells me that she is single then as a niave male I take her at her word. An honest profile at least gives you the option to avoid or to say "no Thanks" whereas one written by a lying B'stard is designed to deceive you into a meeting. I'm making no moral judgement nor trying to contradict the views, opinions or beliefs held by others; the OP asked for constructive comments so here is my two pennies worth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"morals? this is a swingers site lol according to the laws of marriage and society you're all cheaters if you wanna do the morals thing

Shona

x x x "

Well everyone has different views on marriage, but that's why I will never get married. I won't make a promise i can't keep. And there's something about honouring and blah blah blahing someone or other in it and being with that person etc forever etc. And at the end of the day you're right, marriage is just a farce these days anyway xxxx lets all marry each other, woo hoo, we can have a big house with lots of husbands and wives, i like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone deserves trust and honesty regardless of their marital status, who are the marrieds betraying or deceiving when they swing with each others consent, like I’ve said before I smoke and know that its wrong, just like people who cheat know its wrong, so why even try to justify or counter argue either, just do it if you’re going to.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

"As someone in a similar position to the OP I have been through all these points numerous times.

And to all the people who get on their high moral horses about what I do, I will just say talk to the hand cos the face ain't listening.

Damn good idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sure the happily married couples on site and those of us who have been married don't see marriage as a farce!

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Why do cheats cheat?... because they think they won't get caught, it's as simple as that.

Anything else they want to add to their reasons and excuses is just padding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do cheats cheat?... because they think they won't get caught, it's as simple as that.

Anything else they want to add to their reasons and excuses is just padding."

I can't agree. Cheats cheat because they crave the excitement of 'illicit' sex.

Bank robbers don't rob banks 'cos they think they won't get caught - they cheat 'cos they want the money.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do cheats cheat?... because they think they won't get caught, it's as simple as that.

Anything else they want to add to their reasons and excuses is just padding.

I can't agree. Cheats cheat because they crave the excitement of 'illicit' sex.

Bank robbers don't rob banks 'cos they think they won't get caught - they cheat 'cos they want the money."

The perils of not paying attention. That should read bank robbers rob banks 'cos they want the money.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

We all 'want' things.

We all at some point want something we shouldn't have.

Most of us can work out the consequences of just taking it and being found out.

Most of us don't think it is worth enough to face the consequences - so we don't do it.

Some of us don't think it is worth enough to face the consequences – but do it anyway because in their head they won't be caught.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Slightly off topic but related. I've yet to meet a woman whose husband/ partner/ boyfriend was cheating on her who didn't know, or at least strongly suspect, he was playing away.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Slightly off topic but related. I've yet to meet a woman whose husband/ partner/ boyfriend was cheating on her who didn't know, or at least strongly suspect, he was playing away."

I am sure there will be a few people along to tell you otherwise shortly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slightly off topic but related. I've yet to meet a woman whose husband/ partner/ boyfriend was cheating on her who didn't know, or at least strongly suspect, he was playing away.

I am sure there will be a few people along to tell you otherwise shortly

I'm sure there might but it won't change the truth of my statement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"morals? this is a swingers site lol according to the laws of marriage and society you're all cheaters if you wanna do the morals thing

Shona

x x x

Sorry but where did I say marriage was a farce??

When I took my vows I loved my husband and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him - as I still do now 8 years later.

You choose not to marry thats your choice mine (and my husbands) was to declare our love in front of our family and friends, and I would NEVER have done it had I wanted out or not seen myself living with him for the rest of my life.

Now none of us know what is around the corner so we make the most of our lives as best we can now, have fun and laugh, cos no one knows whats gonna happen tomorrow.

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Much prefer the truth, its a swinging site so why worry about ppl wearing a wedding ring, if its all no strings attached fun innit xxx but I am a stickler for the truth so answer B wins out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oops i meant A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the fact that you don't have to pay to be on this site because you get to mingle with loads of cool people. You can pay to get more, but you don't have to if you are hard up (or tight lol).

As for spliting the site, i don't agree with that idea at all, for a number of reasons.

1st it would mean that certain sections of the comunity would say that singles (or single men) aren't realy swingers either and we might get hived off to the other site........(though please, lets not start that argument)

and 2nd, I think that people can meet whoever they want and there are certain sections who might want to meet attached people, for an ilicit thrill of their own, maybe even couples. Who am I or anyone else to judge or stop them.

We are all as honest as we wanna be with ourselves as we want to be. I apluad the op for having an open profile and letting people make their own judgement about wether people will meet him. After all you might find any of conclusions but you will not be disapointed to find out he's maried after all.................

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

but you'd think that some would appreciate a guy who clearly has something to lose, and therefore is less likley to turn out to be a stalker type!

And that has to be the most distasteful, idiotic and moronic thing I have heard this year........ and I work with the military!!!!

So does that indicate that you think members of the Military are idiotic & moronic?

It was tongue in cheek, as you very well know.

So please don't twist my post to suit your own needs.

I DID NOT TWIST YOUR POST, I ASKED A QUESTION AND YOU ANSWERED..... IT IS DIFFICULT TO TELL IF POSTS IN THESE FORUMS ARE TONGUE IN CHEEK OR SERIOUS....

ffs

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

".... its a swinging site so why worry about ppl wearing a wedding ring, if its all no strings attached fun innit xxx ...."

... seriously

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Slightly off topic but related. I've yet to meet a woman whose husband/ partner/ boyfriend was cheating on her who didn't know, or at least strongly suspect, he was playing away."
you dont meet do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

".... its a swinging site so why worry about ppl wearing a wedding ring, if its all no strings attached fun innit xxx ....

... seriously

because some of us actually care that theres some poor women sat at home looking after the kids while her hubbys out shagging telling her hes out with his mate

to some of us no strings does not mean dont give a shit about anyone

because when the women finds out shes probably going to leave him and split up the family, and a broken home is no fun for children and i for one dont want to play any part in that at all

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Slightly off topic but related. I've yet to meet a woman whose husband/ partner/ boyfriend was cheating on her who didn't know, or at least strongly suspect, he was playing away.

I am sure there will be a few people along to tell you otherwise shortly

I'm sure there might but it won't change the truth of my statement. "

Truth and facts are not always the same.

Of course only the ones who know or suspect will mention it.... derrrrr.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with naughtynymphos, like her I have morals,and I feel sorry for the poor wife/girlfriend at home,but thats my view and I clearly state on my profile

MARRIED MEN PISSOFF!!!

No it still doesnt deter them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slightly off topic but related. I've yet to meet a woman whose husband/ partner/ boyfriend was cheating on her who didn't know, or at least strongly suspect, he was playing away.

I am sure there will be a few people along to tell you otherwise shortly

I'm sure there might but it won't change the truth of my statement.

Truth and facts are not always the same.

Of course only the ones who know or suspect will mention it.... derrrrr."

In this instance the truth and the facts are identical.

My post was "I've yet to meet a woman whose husband/ partner/ boyfriend was cheating on her who didn't know, or at least strongly suspect, he was playing away." and that's 100% true.

That's not to say there AREN'T women who don't know they're being cheated on - just that I haven't met any.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"....

That's not to say there AREN'T women who don't know they're being cheated on - just that I haven't met any."

How do you know you haven't met any? Has every woman you have ever met in your life told you they have been cheated on and knew it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree with naughtynymphos, like her I have morals,and I feel sorry for the poor wife/girlfriend at home,but thats my view and I clearly state on my profile

MARRIED MEN PISSOFF!!!

No it still doesnt deter them x"

Just come in on this thread. There are loads of ladies who are doing the same. Its not just the men

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Just come in on this thread. There are loads of ladies who are doing the same. Its not just the men"

Yep.

But the OP only asked about men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey this thread is still running???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can all judge, we can all get on our soapbox, but at the end of the day we are all human, and the ones with the holier-than-thou attitude really get my back up.

For some of us, it's not a holier than thou attitude.

It's a side bought on by nearly being destroyed by one person who had your complete trust and enduring love.

Those that want to shag cheaters can do so....... it is truly their business.

And be it holier than thou or not.... at least I have enough pride to look myself in the mirror everyday and know that I am not causing another wife the hurt that I once suffered."

Could not have said it better myself. I will never knowingly participate in causing another person to feel the pain and humiliation I felt.

I would suggest you talk to your partner about this situation. You never know she may surprise you and understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, this thread has definitely touched a few nerves...but it is very revealing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

HONESTY... is allways the best route to take, no matter what the out come is!!! if it goes your way then fair enough, if it doesnt then hey at least you will be able to look at yourself in then mirror and see an honest peron,or you could see a lying,cheating too face git! be true to yourself 1st.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

bigchief well said.

It is horrible to be on the receiving end and my eldest still has problems 5 years on.

Would be good if more people were honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi,

ur a brave man asking dodgy questions like that! lol

I would go with honesty. I am on here to play, not judge people.

What you do with or without your wife/partners consent is non of my business. And as i only want to fuck you and not run away with you, i dont see what the problem is?

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