FabSwingers.com forum: Times a healer

By *o_added_sugar OP Woman
over a year ago

A club not so many miles away

I hear the statement all the time 'It's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all' Now personally I think it's a load of old bull. Especially the way I'm feeling right now.

I've read many threads that people have confessed to falling for their fb and it has resulted in the same predicament that I'm in now.

My question to you fantastic fabbers is.. How long did it take for your broken heart to mend? What did it take for you to snap out of it and how did you alleviate the hurt?

Time may be a healer but it's been over three months now and it hasn't become any easier

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I hear the statement all the time 'It's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all' Now personally I think it's a load of old bull. Especially the way I'm feeling right now.

I've read many threads that people have confessed to falling for their fb and it has resulted in the same predicament that I'm in now.

My question to you fantastic fabbers is.. How long did it take for your broken heart to mend? What did it take for you to snap out of it and how did you alleviate the hurt?

Time may be a healer but it's been over three months now and it hasn't become any easier

Can take years and some days you still feel like your back to square one

Just as time goes on it doesnt occupy your every thought, not that you dont think of them loads each day but you are soon able to focus on other things aswell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel ur pain i fell for mine in here didnt work out im heartbroken over it.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Never experienced it...

good luck though

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By *o_added_sugar OP Woman
over a year ago

A club not so many miles away

"I hear the statement all the time 'It's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all' Now personally I think it's a load of old bull. Especially the way I'm feeling right now.

I've read many threads that people have confessed to falling for their fb and it has resulted in the same predicament that I'm in now.

My question to you fantastic fabbers is.. How long did it take for your broken heart to mend? What did it take for you to snap out of it and how did you alleviate the hurt?

Time may be a healer but it's been over three months now and it hasn't become any easier

Can take years and some days you still feel like your back to square one

Just as time goes on it doesnt occupy your every thought, not that you dont think of them loads each day but you are soon able to focus on other things aswell

Thanks. Not much to look forward to then lol I'll keep plodding on. Three months is relatively new if we are talking about years!!

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By *o_added_sugar OP Woman
over a year ago

A club not so many miles away

"I feel ur pain i fell for mine in here didnt work out im heartbroken over it."

The more people I speak to the more I realise it happens all the time. Brings a completely different meaning to the statement NSA.. If only it was true and that simple. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your healing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O p are you mistaking love for lust and companionship the 2 can be muddled as one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel for you OP. It took nearly a year for me to sort myself out.

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners

If i may offer a perspective, i would instead of looking at it as a loss see it as a gain.

Experiences happen (FACT)... the good/bad are irrelevant in terms of losing/gaining and are subjective based upon the filters of past experiences.

As such if you can see the experience for what it was, learn the lessons involved with the experience,(as an example you know you like this trait in guys and not that trait) and use them to better your understanding not just of other guys but of yourself and what you require.

Good and bad over complicate things and really are a distraction.

If you are like me and believe everything happens for a reason... you should be excited by the opportunities that are about to be laid out before you... offering new experiences ...new and different men... and a hell of a good time if you let it.

While im not saying it isnt hard... i would say that think of how much better it could be...and are you going to let yourself pass up new opportunities for the sake of love lost.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel ur pain i fell for mine in here didnt work out im heartbroken over it.

Thank you some great people on here who are getting me through altho she has me blocked as i dont know why for i said i had no bad feelings i left fab for her and rejoined last week I deleted her number the other day.Shame tho we were great friends ten months before hand and now we hate

eachother so there is no going back every day is a struggle but im getting there best of luck on your healing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck buddies take a couple of weeks to 5 weeks for me to get over them. I don't invest much into them.

Pets and people i actively wanted in my life long term, takes me months to get over them and never really do get over them i think, but it doesn't hurt to think about them most of the time after 3 months.

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By *o_added_sugar OP Woman
over a year ago

A club not so many miles away

"O p are you mistaking love for lust and companionship the 2 can be muddled as one."

Nope, I can assure you I know the difference between lust and love. Have experienced lust a few times on here omg have ever hehe and companionship, was married for 14 years so I belive I have that one sussed too. Not saying I dont miss the companion side of our relationship because I do but without a shadow of a doubt; It is love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You never get over losing someone you just learn to live with the loss

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I hear the statement all the time 'It's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all' Now personally I think it's a load of old bull. Especially the way I'm feeling right now.

I've read many threads that people have confessed to falling for their fb and it has resulted in the same predicament that I'm in now.

My question to you fantastic fabbers is.. How long did it take for your broken heart to mend? What did it take for you to snap out of it and how did you alleviate the hurt?

Time may be a healer but it's been over three months now and it hasn't become any easier

Can take years and some days you still feel like your back to square one

Just as time goes on it doesnt occupy your every thought, not that you dont think of them loads each day but you are soon able to focus on other things aswell

Thanks. Not much to look forward to then lol I'll keep plodding on. Three months is relatively new if we are talking about years!!

Im talking about a loss, not a fb so im sure you wont be hit as hard as me

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By *o_added_sugar OP Woman
over a year ago

A club not so many miles away

"If i may offer a perspective, i would instead of looking at it as a loss see it as a gain.

Experiences happen (FACT)... the good/bad are irrelevant in terms of losing/gaining and are subjective based upon the filters of past experiences.

Good and bad over complicate things and really are a distraction.

While im not saying it isnt hard... i would say that think of how much better it could be...and are you going to let yourself pass up new opportunities for the sake of love lost.

Thank you. I do keep telling myself that (as well as all my friends too) maybe I will be able to look back on it in time to come and truly believe it but right now I'm trying to convince myself something I don't belive is true. A no win situation until my head is sorted I'm afraid. I am managing to have fun but of course, once bitten twice shy and all that. I'm scared to fall again so I've had to completely change the way I operate on here and keep it clinical/emotionless (can do passion without emotion) so I do not open myself up again to the hurt.

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

"I hear the statement all the time 'It's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all' Now personally I think it's a load of old bull. Especially the way I'm feeling right now.

I've read many threads that people have confessed to falling for their fb and it has resulted in the same predicament that I'm in now.

My question to you fantastic fabbers is.. How long did it take for your broken heart to mend? What did it take for you to snap out of it and how did you alleviate the hurt?

Time may be a healer but it's been over three months now and it hasn't become any easier

Can take years and some days you still feel like your back to square one

Just as time goes on it doesnt occupy your every thought, not that you dont think of them loads each day but you are soon able to focus on other things aswell

Not over a fb, but this

over the 1 guy I fell for. Took me Years to get over, probably only cemented actually when I started dating someone else a few years down the line, though it never worked out.

Time doesn't heal, but it gets easier. Keep busy in the mean time. And avoid any new FB scenarios while your feeling delicate. Big hugs x

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By *o_added_sugar OP Woman
over a year ago

A club not so many miles away

He wasn't JUST a fb as people have commented. He was a man I met off here and it started as a fb relationship I guess. He then practically moved in with me and my family. We may have only been together for two years but that does not make it any less painful. I had committed my heart and soul to the man and allowed him into my home and my family's life. I'm not wanting to start a forum propaganda over how much more I must have loved my man more then anyone else did theirs, or say that just because the person you fall for means any less because they are a fb. Just because he didnt pass away does not make it any easier either. I was left through choice which in itself is hard enough to comprehend. And I have to endure seeing him with other women. I sometimes think it would be easier if he had passed, I wouldn't be able to stalk him the way I do. So please do not say that because he didn't die my pain is less then yours. I was only asking for advice on how people coped with their emotions

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By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

Sorry if you felt my comment was belittling that you met as fbs, I meant the man I fell for didn't start out as a fb. No one can compare one loss to another. My reply was meant to be supportive, hope you feel better soon x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feelings over the loss of a lover are similar to bereavement. Try googling "7 stages of grieving" to find an explanation of what people go through and what you can expect to feel and heal.

You won't forget,but the pain will diminish. Take life steady and look for simple pleasures - don't try to avoid the pain (with booze or other things) or make any major life changes. Go back to things you enjoyed doing before that won't remind you of him.

You are a very special person, so stay strong and enjoy being you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lost love. A hard cross to carry. Tiny steps. Each. Carries you a little further down the road to a better place. It's slow. It hurts. It endures. Until you feel emotionally mended stay away from new encounters. They will make things worse and set recovery back......it sucks no magic answers. Time. Time. Time..... x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LOL! It's never mended for me, unfortunately. And time really doesn't heal.

My lost love wasn't an FB though, so it might be a bit different - not sure. It's been 23 years since I saw her last, and I still think of her most day's.

Wasn't even the longest relationship I've had either, not by a long way. We where only together 3 years.

Some people you just never get over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's as hard as you let it be .

If someone doesn't want to be with you , that's it . End of .

So you either grieve , stalk , let it eat you up and ruin your own happiness , or you pull yourself together , accept what is , and move on .

Sympathy will allow you to wallow for longer , it's useless .

Being told that time heals is also worthless . It might it might not , but ultimately it's not until you see that the solution lies with you , and you alone ,that you will move forward .

Good luck

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

How long were you banging him...

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By *oderndaylivesCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

My longest period is two years of still being in love with someone. On another occasion I thought I was really in love with him but it took 10 days to get over him. No matter how shit it feels, you only have one life so don't waste it pining. Focus on you and where you want to be in live regardless of relationships, have lots of fun and swinging, and you may find they come back. By that time of course, usually you realise you have outgrown them and are happy in your life and yourself, and the right one comes along.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was with my fb for 18 months... It evolved into lovers and we fell in love

I ended it at Christmas because I was kidding myself it would be more than it was

I'll always love him and I miss his friendship but I have realised I was making it more than what it ever was which was FUCK BUDDIES

my advice is the best way to get over a man is to get under another

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