FabSwingers.com forum: Honesty

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?

Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

I dont think its a case of honesty vs deceit, but rather a case of judgement about when you disclose that information. Too early and you have poor judgement, too late and you find you have committed a lot to a relationship that wont give you want you are looking for.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?

Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront..."

As someone into swinging and currently single myself I would prefer to find a relationship with someone who is also a swinger and into the scene already. Ultimately so we could then enjoy swinging as a couple.

If a prospective partner was totally vanilla though I think I would have to tell them about this at some point, it's never good to keep skeletons in the closet, they have a habit of coming out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?

Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront..."

Shut your mouth until you start becoming serious. No need to show your cards to early

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd wait a while. Maybe float around the subject in conversation, just to put the feelers out. Once you get more assured, just drink too much wine and tell him everything.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?

Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront..."

At first very definitely shut.

People have strange ideas of what 'swinging' actually is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I dont think its a case of honesty vs deceit, but rather a case of judgement about when you disclose that information. Too early and you have poor judgement, too late and you find you have committed a lot to a relationship that wont give you want you are looking for. "

This!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If dating for any kind of a relationship then yes, it needs to be right out in the open from the start!

I don't want to be with somebody who doesn't accept me as I am, including all the key parts of my life..

And I certainly wouldn't want to be with anyone who though that it was OK to start a relationship with me and not be upfront about it themselves!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the start if you intend on something serious.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?

Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront..."

Bearing in mind your a woman , and likely to get a punch in the mouth if a certain type of bloke thinks your cheating ,and would give you serious hassle I would say it straight away perhaps even before meeting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's a date ?

I've long since realised I'm not the type of women men want to date or to develop a relationship with.

However if I did by some miracle start dating someone I wouldn't mention my profile on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If dating for any kind of a relationship then yes, it needs to be right out in the open from the start!

I don't want to be with somebody who doesn't accept me as I am, including all the key parts of my life..

And I certainly wouldn't want to be with anyone who though that it was OK to start a relationship with me and not be upfront about it themselves!!!

Wow, I'd hate to be on a first date with you if you list everything like that and consider how far the relationship is going from the off. So, you decided the guy in front of you is long term, and start telling him your medical history, when you last had piles, how many men you've slept with, current length of pubic hair and that you're a swinger too....

Then comes the whoosh sound and the door swinging shut.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think how the topic is phrased is subjective also, for instance I'd be more inclined to say I'm sexually liberal, despite being more conservative because I have a list of things I want to do with someone, and doing them with people I'm closer to and more open with is better than with people I've just met

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're buying him flowers ensure you pop a few pampas grass in too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you're buying him flowers ensure you pop a few pampas grass in too. "

Considered that but too subtle so planned to arrange our first date at Xtasia.

But seriously, some diverse but interesting views, thanks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pampas grass skirt and peephole coconut bra?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ummersun99Woman
over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

if iI'I couldn't imagine being happy in a relationship without swinging, I'd probably wait until around the time my feelings were transitioning from dates to dating/ being in a relationship/ just before I'd be fine having sex with him kinda mindset and then be honest. If hes going to judge you, nothing lost on your part.

If I could accept the concept of never swinging if a partner didn't want to, I'd probably mention it if it ever came up as something I've done in the past and enjoyed, but Otherwise wait until I felt I relationship was strong before flirting with the idea.

Good luck x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just tel him it's his lucky night mff, hopefully he'd luv it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *WRCCouple
over a year ago

Molesey

I began a new relationship in February. We met online (motorcycle scene, not dating or swinging). I came right out with my penchant for this and she was totally up for it (having not ever tried it). We are now happy, utterly in love, living together, and enjoying the occasional Fab dalliance!

So my opinion is come out with it if you want it at all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bflirtyCouple
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I told my now wife right at the start. She liked the sound of it and we've been playing together for 15 years.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

We met on here and before that, the only guys I 'dated' were on here anyway. Realised that no vanilla guys really cut it and on other online sites they just were not honest. Have met the best man I could ever have wished for and my best friend all rolled into one on here ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohnaronMan
over a year ago

london

To be truly happy I would want a girl who regularly has sex with other guys of her choice but this seems to be a deal breaker when I introduce the subject.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aturasqCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"When vanilla dating, would you tell prospective partners upfront that you enjoy swinging?

Obviously I wouldnt blurt it out, but any future partner of mine would need to be open-minded enough to be part of this lifestyle, so wondering whether to shut my mouth or just be upfront...

"Certain type of bloke" being a thug

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Agree with this.

Although for me, I can't see me ever having a relationship away from swinging or fet so I'd have to be upfront from the start.

I suppose it depends on how valuable the lifestyle is to you and whether can you leave it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread