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"Get a workman's belt; hang a few whips, chains, paddles on it. Walk around with a riding crop and insist that all the women address you as 'Masta' Job done " | |||
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"I am a guy who likes to take be in charge, but I have never really released my Dom side. Any advice on how to start?" Are you "in charge" when you're with a woman? | |||
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"I am a guy who likes to take be in charge, but I have never really released my Dom side. Any advice on how to start? Are you "in charge" when you're with a woman?" Yes I am normally in charge, but never really tried the woman being subservient to me yet. | |||
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"I have a workmans belt in the garage lol.. Any other advise please?" Erm, I wasn't being serious [ note to self: don't be flippant with newbies ] | |||
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"I have a workmans belt in the garage lol.. Any other advise please? Erm, I wasn't being serious [ note to self: don't be flippant with newbies ] "Yeah I guess you were joking. | |||
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"I am a guy who likes to take be in charge, but I have never really released my Dom side. Any advice on how to start? Are you "in charge" when you're with a woman? Yes I am normally in charge, but never really tried the woman being subservient to me yet." So what you're really after is a subservient woman... | |||
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"Try subbing to a Domme woman a few times.. This will teach you alot and even experienced Doms do this to gain knowledge and insight. happy Domming "That is a fairly good idea, but I'm not sure of not being in control. | |||
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"Try subbing to a Domme woman a few times.. This will teach you alot and even experienced Doms do this to gain knowledge and insight. happy Domming "See I'd disagree unless The guy thought he was a switch... As to op. Just follow your own path.. if you fancy trying something specific... Then ask for how or safety guides x but this really is one journey that is best as one of self Discovery x | |||
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"Try subbing to a Domme woman a few times.. This will teach you alot and even experienced Doms do this to gain knowledge and insight. happy Domming
See I'd disagree unless The guy thought he was a switch...
As to op. Just follow your own path.. if you fancy trying something specific... Then ask for how or safety guides x but this really is one journey that is best as one of self Discovery x"I disagree too. I think my dom and most tops I know would have a panic attack if they had to sub to someone. My advice, read lots. There are blogs and sites with loads of guides and glossaries. Work out what you're interested in then try and find a sub with similar interests. You can go to fetish events and observe play or go to a local munch. | |||
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"I would suggest you find a local munch and meet some like minded people. Do a bit of reading up - not 50 Shades though! Being a true Dom is not as easy as it sounds. Understanding what it is, what it means to you, and then understanding the toys you might use are all important things. No sub wants to feel unsafe because you don't know how or where to use a whip on them. Definitely explore, but in an informed way. Good luck x" Saying all subs want a whip used on them is one heck of an assumption. | |||
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"I am a guy who likes to take be in charge, but I have never really released my Dom side. Any advice on how to start?" Talk to the person you will play with. Ask their boundaries and wants. It's not just about what you want, it's about what you both want. | |||
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"I am a guy who likes to take be in charge, but I have never really released my Dom side. Any advice on how to start?" Dominance is usually born within someone but it can be nurtured. Just take charge, faint heart never won fair maiden. As for toys..your greatest toy is your mind. | |||
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"Fuck her mind before you touch her body........She needs to crave you. " Not exactly how I would put it, however the sentiment works.  | |||
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"Talk to the person you will play with. Ask their boundaries and wants. It's not just about what you want, it's about what you both want. " Definitely this, | |||
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"Try subbing to a Domme woman a few times.. This will teach you alot and even experienced Doms do this to gain knowledge and insight. happy Domming "I agree! I learned so much from being with a Domme. Good place to start, if you can afford an hour or two! | |||
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"Try subbing to a Domme woman a few times.. This will teach you alot and even experienced Doms do this to gain knowledge and insight. happy Domming
I agree! I learned so much from being with a Domme. Good place to start, if you can afford an hour or two!"A few hours 'play' with someone, isn't quite the same, IMO. It's a mind thing.... | |||
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"I have a workmans belt in the garage lol.. Any other advise please?" dont forget you must wear a poets shirt under a leather waiscoat with leather trousers .also adress every female as the third person aswell they will be falling at your feet | |||
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"Fuck her mind before you touch her body........She needs to crave you. " I agree, a lot of it is to do with the mind. We all have different things that make us tick. You need to work out what makes hers. | |||
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"I would suggest you find a local munch and meet some like minded people. Do a bit of reading up - not 50 Shades though! Being a true Dom is not as easy as it sounds. Understanding what it is, what it means to you, and then understanding the toys you might use are all important things. No sub wants to feel unsafe because you don't know how or where to use a whip on them. Definitely explore, but in an informed way. Good luck x Saying all subs want a whip used on them is one heck of an assumption. " Just re reading. Not sure the writer said all subs..whips, chains, 2x4 lumps of wood, fists, knives, feet are just some of the instruments to use to heighten the endorphins of a recieving body/mind within a prior agreed level. | |||
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"Fuck her mind before you touch her body........She needs to crave you. " Yes completely true x | |||
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"Fuck her mind before you touch her body........She needs to crave you. " Can I steal this quote  | |||
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"Try subbing to a Domme woman a few times.. This will teach you alot and even experienced Doms do this to gain knowledge and insight. happy Domming
I agree! I learned so much from being with a Domme. Good place to start, if you can afford an hour or two!
A few hours 'play' with someone, isn't quite the same, IMO. It's a mind thing.... "I don't know if you noticed the "good place to start" part! I am fully aware it's a mind thing just as much as a play thing! TiG goes to fridge and gets an egg | |||
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"Try subbing to a Domme woman a few times.. This will teach you alot and even experienced Doms do this to gain knowledge and insight. happy Domming
I agree! I learned so much from being with a Domme. Good place to start, if you can afford an hour or two!
A few hours 'play' with someone, isn't quite the same, IMO. It's a mind thing....
I don't know if you noticed the "good place to start" part!
I am fully aware it's a mind thing just as much as a play thing!
TiG goes to fridge and gets an egg "I wouldn't start that way. Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. | |||
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"Meet someone who wants the same things that you want, then explore with them." I would say this too. You can't go into something armed with a pile of knowledge about what a "true Dom" is. Unless you want to play up to the stereotype and talk amongst other "true Doms" about how everyone else is doing it wrong. It's a very intimate thing between two people,how it works with one person may not with another. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. " I don't personally find that. YMMV. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV." Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night" I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails." You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails." Prove it What time shall I come over? | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.." I switch, actually. I've had more relationships where I've been submissive than when I've topped. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.. I switch, actually. I've had more relationships where I've been submissive than when I've topped." So in fact you aren't a 'true' Domme or sub..... You may talk the talk but....... | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.. I switch, actually. I've had more relationships where I've been submissive than when I've topped. So in fact you aren't a 'true' Domme or sub..... You may talk the talk but......." No such thing as a 'true' sub. Only people who do things differently to you. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.. I switch, actually. I've had more relationships where I've been submissive than when I've topped. So in fact you aren't a 'true' Domme or sub..... You may talk the talk but....... No such thing as a 'true' sub. Only people who do things differently to you." In your opinion! I'm a true sub. You're a kinky player. It's a mind-set. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.. I switch, actually. I've had more relationships where I've been submissive than when I've topped. So in fact you aren't a 'true' Domme or sub..... You may talk the talk but....... No such thing as a 'true' sub. Only people who do things differently to you. In your opinion! I'm a true sub. You're a kinky player. It's a mind-set. " You are sorely mistaken, I'm afraid. And really quite ignorant. Because there are unlimited ways to do BDSM authentically. Your way, my way, and everybody elses ways. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.. I switch, actually. I've had more relationships where I've been submissive than when I've topped. So in fact you aren't a 'true' Domme or sub..... You may talk the talk but....... No such thing as a 'true' sub. Only people who do things differently to you. In your opinion! I'm a true sub. You're a kinky player. It's a mind-set. " In fact only a few weeks ago I was told that 'true' subs are loyal and monogamous with one master, while the master should have multiple subs. Don't suppose you're a 'true' sub compared to that persons definition, are you? Otherwise you wouldn't be on a swinging site. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.. I switch, actually. I've had more relationships where I've been submissive than when I've topped. So in fact you aren't a 'true' Domme or sub..... You may talk the talk but....... No such thing as a 'true' sub. Only people who do things differently to you. In your opinion! I'm a true sub. You're a kinky player. It's a mind-set. You are sorely mistaken, I'm afraid. And really quite ignorant. Because there are unlimited ways to do BDSM authentically. Your way, my way, and everybody elses ways." Of course there are many ways. In my opinion a Dom or a sub can't just change from day to day. Well I couldn't. I know my needs, you know yours. I'll agree to disagree. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.. I switch, actually. I've had more relationships where I've been submissive than when I've topped. So in fact you aren't a 'true' Domme or sub..... You may talk the talk but....... No such thing as a 'true' sub. Only people who do things differently to you. In your opinion! I'm a true sub. You're a kinky player. It's a mind-set. You are sorely mistaken, I'm afraid. And really quite ignorant. Because there are unlimited ways to do BDSM authentically. Your way, my way, and everybody elses ways. Of course there are many ways. In my opinion a Dom or a sub can't just change from day to day. Well I couldn't. I know my needs, you know yours. I'll agree to disagree. " I don't 'change from day to day'. I am submissive with some people and dominant with others. It's not rocket science. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.. I switch, actually. I've had more relationships where I've been submissive than when I've topped. So in fact you aren't a 'true' Domme or sub..... You may talk the talk but....... No such thing as a 'true' sub. Only people who do things differently to you. In your opinion! I'm a true sub. You're a kinky player. It's a mind-set. In fact only a few weeks ago I was told that 'true' subs are loyal and monogamous with one master, while the master should have multiple subs. Don't suppose you're a 'true' sub compared to that persons definition, are you? Otherwise you wouldn't be on a swinging site." Let's get one thing straight here, I can chat to anybody I want to.... I do not meet unless I have permission. | |||
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" Lots of correspondance is needed before any type of play. I don't personally find that. YMMV. Trust is a huge part. Can't build that over night I can build more trust in 30 minutes of playtime than 30 emails. You aren't the submissive though. You aren't the one handing over.. I switch, actually. I've had more relationships where I've been submissive than when I've topped. So in fact you aren't a 'true' Domme or sub..... You may talk the talk but....... No such thing as a 'true' sub. Only people who do things differently to you. In your opinion! I'm a true sub. You're a kinky player. It's a mind-set. You are sorely mistaken, I'm afraid. And really quite ignorant. Because there are unlimited ways to do BDSM authentically. Your way, my way, and everybody elses ways. Of course there are many ways. In my opinion a Dom or a sub can't just change from day to day. Well I couldn't. I know my needs, you know yours. I'll agree to disagree. I don't 'change from day to day'. I am submissive with some people and dominant with others. It's not rocket science." Ok.... Session to session then. | |||
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" Ok.... Session to session then. " You're quite right. I will back away from this conversation, since you clearly do superior and more 'true' BDSM than me. I'll make sure I tell my partners that we're not doing it properly. | |||
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" Ok.... Session to session then. You're quite right. I will back away from this conversation, since you clearly do superior and more 'true' BDSM than me. I'll make sure I tell my partners that we're not doing it properly." Act it out or allow the feelings to flow naturally.......D/s and BDSM is not the same thing. We don't all do S&M you know. Good night | |||
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" Ok.... Session to session then. You're quite right. I will back away from this conversation, since you clearly do superior and more 'true' BDSM than me. I'll make sure I tell my partners that we're not doing it properly. Act it out or allow the feelings to flow naturally.......D/s and BDSM is not the same thing. We don't all do S&M you know. Good night " BDSM is an shortened version of bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and sadism/masochism. So since you do d/s, you do indeed practice BDSM. | |||
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"I am a guy who likes to take be in charge, but I have never really released my Dom side. Any advice on how to start?" By completely ignoring anything in 50 Shades! | |||
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"Judging by his minimal involvement in this thread, I don't think the OP was quite expecting all this expert knowledge and advice...just a subservient woman would do..." Sorry I haven't been that "involved" but I have been checking back now and then today. I already have a subservient woman who trusts me implicitly. I was just looking for advice. | |||
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" Ok.... Session to session then. You're quite right. I will back away from this conversation, since you clearly do superior and more 'true' BDSM than me. I'll make sure I tell my partners that we're not doing it properly. Act it out or allow the feelings to flow naturally.......D/s and BDSM is not the same thing. We don't all do S&M you know. Good night BDSM is an shortened version of bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and sadism/masochism. So since you do d/s, you do indeed practice BDSM." I do yes...... Not every D/s relationship involves pain though now does it! Some are verbally dominant only. | |||
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"Oh...and probably ignore the argument between the posters who seem to have hijacked your thread for a personal slanging match...." Hey, sorry about that. I'm usually quiet too. | |||
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"Try subbing to a Domme woman a few times.. This will teach you alot and even experienced Doms do this to gain knowledge and insight. happy Domming "Good idea | |||
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 ... just had to chuckle at the whole scenario of a dom seeking advice | |||
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"lol ... just had to chuckle at the whole scenario of a dom seeking advice "Why? | |||
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"Judging by his minimal involvement in this thread, I don't think the OP was quite expecting all this expert knowledge and advice...just a subservient woman would do... Sorry I haven't been that "involved" but I have been checking back now and then today. I already have a subservient woman who trusts me implicitly. I was just looking for advice. " Well you've had a ton of advice in this thread... | |||
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" Ok.... Session to session then. You're quite right. I will back away from this conversation, since you clearly do superior and more 'true' BDSM than me. I'll make sure I tell my partners that we're not doing it properly. Act it out or allow the feelings to flow naturally.......D/s and BDSM is not the same thing. We don't all do S&M you know. Good night BDSM is an shortened version of bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and sadism/masochism. So since you do d/s, you do indeed practice BDSM. I do yes...... Not every D/s relationship involves pain though now does it! Some are verbally dominant only. " I didn't say that. The phrase 'BDSM' convers everything I mentioned. Just like to identify with the LGBT community you don't need to be lesbian AND gay AND bisexual AND transgender. It's a group made up of several different things. | |||
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" Ok.... Session to session then. You're quite right. I will back away from this conversation, since you clearly do superior and more 'true' BDSM than me. I'll make sure I tell my partners that we're not doing it properly. Act it out or allow the feelings to flow naturally.......D/s and BDSM is not the same thing. We don't all do S&M you know. Good night BDSM is an shortened version of bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and sadism/masochism. So since you do d/s, you do indeed practice BDSM. I do yes...... Not every D/s relationship involves pain though now does it! Some are verbally dominant only. I didn't say that. The phrase 'BDSM' convers everything I mentioned. Just like to identify with the LGBT community you don't need to be lesbian AND gay AND bisexual AND transgender. It's a group made up of several different things." Honest I can't be bothered with you anymore. I've read your comments on numerous posts, you're always right! Get on with your relationships and be happy  | |||
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"lol ... just had to chuckle at the whole scenario of a dom seeking advice "I'm not a Dom.........yet. I like to be in control and thought the next step was trying out "domism" (yeah I know that isn't a real word). | |||
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"I am a guy who likes to take be in charge, but I have never really released my Dom side. Any advice on how to start? Are you "in charge" when you're with a woman? Yes I am normally in charge, but never really tried the woman being subservient to me yet." The sub is always in charge | |||
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"lol ... just had to chuckle at the whole scenario of a dom seeking advice
I'm not a Dom.........yet.
I like to be in control and thought the next step was trying out "domism" (yeah I know that isn't a real word)."No-one knows everything. Especially not the self appointed experts that take the piss out of things they don't understand. It's always good to learn new things. Asking questions is good. | |||
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"I am a guy who likes to take be in charge, but I have never really released my Dom side. Any advice on how to start? Are you "in charge" when you're with a woman? Yes I am normally in charge, but never really tried the woman being subservient to me yet. The sub is always in charge " That's not always true for everyone. | |||
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" Ok.... Session to session then. You're quite right. I will back away from this conversation, since you clearly do superior and more 'true' BDSM than me. I'll make sure I tell my partners that we're not doing it properly. Act it out or allow the feelings to flow naturally.......D/s and BDSM is not the same thing. We don't all do S&M you know. Good night BDSM is an shortened version of bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and sadism/masochism. So since you do d/s, you do indeed practice BDSM. I do yes...... Not every D/s relationship involves pain though now does it! Some are verbally dominant only. I didn't say that. The phrase 'BDSM' convers everything I mentioned. Just like to identify with the LGBT community you don't need to be lesbian AND gay AND bisexual AND transgender. It's a group made up of several different things. Honest I can't be bothered with you anymore. I've read your comments on numerous posts, you're always right! Get on with your relationships and be happy "Don't worry. It only happens when people profess to know the secret to the one twueee way to fuck. | |||
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" Ok.... Session to session then. You're quite right. I will back away from this conversation, since you clearly do superior and more 'true' BDSM than me. I'll make sure I tell my partners that we're not doing it properly. Act it out or allow the feelings to flow naturally.......D/s and BDSM is not the same thing. We don't all do S&M you know. Good night BDSM is an shortened version of bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and sadism/masochism. So since you do d/s, you do indeed practice BDSM. I do yes...... Not every D/s relationship involves pain though now does it! Some are verbally dominant only. I didn't say that. The phrase 'BDSM' convers everything I mentioned. Just like to identify with the LGBT community you don't need to be lesbian AND gay AND bisexual AND transgender. It's a group made up of several different things. Honest I can't be bothered with you anymore. I've read your comments on numerous posts, you're always right! Get on with your relationships and be happy
Don't worry. It only happens when people profess to know the secret to the one twueee way to fuck." | |||
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"lol ... just had to chuckle at the whole scenario of a dom seeking advice
Why? "Sorry... I wasn't laughing at the OP... just at the scenario. It felt a bit like... "please sir could you possibly tell me how to be a dom?" ...when surely it should've been... "GIVE ME THE SECRETS OF BEING A DOM OR I'LL CHAIN YOU TO THE BED POSTS AND SMACK YOUR ARSE HARD AND FURIOUSLY!!!" | |||
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"Try subbing to a Domme woman a few times.. This will teach you alot and even experienced Doms do this to gain knowledge and insight. happy Domming "That's great advice I my early years I submitted to a few Dom woman and TV Then I started switching x I think you have had to experience the joy of submission to understand its a lot about mind games and teasing the brain x Any fool can spank hard x but the skill is creating the scene or role play to make it erotic x I'm exclusively Dom now and take a great thrill in seeing my subs tremble with anticipation and pleasure x | |||
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"As a sub I don't like BDSM. My lover dominates me mentally as well as physically using strength/force/restraint etc. without inflicting pain on me -but only ever him. It's all about trust and allowing someone to be totally free with who they truly are. A true dom knows that it's really the sub who has power in allowing the dom to be the lover they are meant to be. " I couldn't need or want another to Dom me either. My Dom is the only guy I truly give myself to. | |||
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"lol ... just had to chuckle at the whole scenario of a dom seeking advice
I'm not a Dom.........yet.
I like to be in control and thought the next step was trying out "domism" (yeah I know that isn't a real word).
No-one knows everything. Especially not the self appointed experts that take the piss out of things they don't understand.
It's always good to learn new things. Asking questions is good. " | |||
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"Fuck her mind before you touch her body........She needs to crave you. " This
Mrs N xx | |||
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"The best way to learn to dom IMHO, learn with the person who wishes to submit to you, everyone is very different, and every D/S relationship is different in my experience too - he is my third dominant, and they have all been very unique." ^^ Yes, this. Very much this. Nobody could have ever taught me how to be dominant to my boy. It's an instinctive process that we've refined over time by sessioning together. | |||
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"The best way to learn to dom IMHO, learn with the person who wishes to submit to you, everyone is very different, and every D/S relationship is different in my experience too - he is my third dominant, and they have all been very unique. ^^ Yes, this. Very much this. Nobody could have ever taught me how to be dominant to my boy. It's an instinctive process that we've refined over time by sessioning together." You can learn and play with people all within 30 minutes though, can't you? Your earned trust and respect and learnt your subs needs and pushed boundaries with little correspondance didn't you???? | |||
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"The best way to learn to dom IMHO, learn with the person who wishes to submit to you, everyone is very different, and every D/S relationship is different in my experience too - he is my third dominant, and they have all been very unique. ^^ Yes, this. Very much this. Nobody could have ever taught me how to be dominant to my boy. It's an instinctive process that we've refined over time by sessioning together. You can learn and play with people all within 30 minutes though, can't you? Your earned trust and respect and learnt your subs needs and pushed boundaries with little correspondance didn't you???? " I don't profess to know everything about a person after 30 minutes, no. If you read what I actually wrote, I said I can learn more about someone sexually in 30 minutes of play than 30 emails. I generally exchange some messages laying out some brief likes and dislikes, discuss some potential ideas, and then play lightly within some basic and established boundaries rather than playing endless email ping-pong. It's just my preference. Everyone is different. Others prefer minutely detailed conversation beforehand and that's ok too - but not generally for me. | |||
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"The best way to learn to dom IMHO, learn with the person who wishes to submit to you, everyone is very different, and every D/S relationship is different in my experience too - he is my third dominant, and they have all been very unique. ^^ Yes, this. Very much this. Nobody could have ever taught me how to be dominant to my boy. It's an instinctive process that we've refined over time by sessioning together. You can learn and play with people all within 30 minutes though, can't you? Your earned trust and respect and learnt your subs needs and pushed boundaries with little correspondance didn't you???? I don't profess to know everything about a person after 30 minutes, no. If you read what I actually wrote, I said I can learn more about someone sexually in 30 minutes of play than 30 emails. I generally exchange some messages laying out some brief likes and dislikes, discuss some potential ideas, and then play lightly within some basic and established boundaries rather than playing endless email ping-pong. It's just my preference. Everyone is different. Others prefer minutely detailed conversation beforehand and that's ok too - but not generally for me." You said you can get someone to 'trust' you more within 30 minutes, than with 30 emails. I still stand by my point - a lot of correspondance is needed to trust, respect and learn (in this type of relationship). You disagreed which is of course up to you. | |||
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"The best way to learn to dom IMHO, learn with the person who wishes to submit to you, everyone is very different, and every D/S relationship is different in my experience too - he is my third dominant, and they have all been very unique. ^^ Yes, this. Very much this. Nobody could have ever taught me how to be dominant to my boy. It's an instinctive process that we've refined over time by sessioning together. You can learn and play with people all within 30 minutes though, can't you? Your earned trust and respect and learnt your subs needs and pushed boundaries with little correspondance didn't you???? I don't profess to know everything about a person after 30 minutes, no. If you read what I actually wrote, I said I can learn more about someone sexually in 30 minutes of play than 30 emails. I generally exchange some messages laying out some brief likes and dislikes, discuss some potential ideas, and then play lightly within some basic and established boundaries rather than playing endless email ping-pong. It's just my preference. Everyone is different. Others prefer minutely detailed conversation beforehand and that's ok too - but not generally for me. You said you can get someone to 'trust' you more within 30 minutes, than with 30 emails. I still stand by my point - a lot of correspondance is needed to trust, respect and learn (in this type of relationship). You disagreed which is of course up to you. " I just find touch a more powerful way to build trust than writing words. Everyone is different. | |||
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"The best way to learn to dom IMHO, learn with the person who wishes to submit to you, everyone is very different, and every D/S relationship is different in my experience too - he is my third dominant, and they have all been very unique. ^^ Yes, this. Very much this. Nobody could have ever taught me how to be dominant to my boy. It's an instinctive process that we've refined over time by sessioning together. You can learn and play with people all within 30 minutes though, can't you? Your earned trust and respect and learnt your subs needs and pushed boundaries with little correspondance didn't you???? I don't profess to know everything about a person after 30 minutes, no. If you read what I actually wrote, I said I can learn more about someone sexually in 30 minutes of play than 30 emails. I generally exchange some messages laying out some brief likes and dislikes, discuss some potential ideas, and then play lightly within some basic and established boundaries rather than playing endless email ping-pong. It's just my preference. Everyone is different. Others prefer minutely detailed conversation beforehand and that's ok too - but not generally for me. You said you can get someone to 'trust' you more within 30 minutes, than with 30 emails. I still stand by my point - a lot of correspondance is needed to trust, respect and learn (in this type of relationship). You disagreed which is of course up to you. I just find touch a more powerful way to build trust than writing words. Everyone is different." That's fair enough..... No one can touch into my brain though using fingers! | |||
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"The best way to learn to dom IMHO, learn with the person who wishes to submit to you, everyone is very different, and every D/S relationship is different in my experience too - he is my third dominant, and they have all been very unique. ^^ Yes, this. Very much this. Nobody could have ever taught me how to be dominant to my boy. It's an instinctive process that we've refined over time by sessioning together. You can learn and play with people all within 30 minutes though, can't you? Your earned trust and respect and learnt your subs needs and pushed boundaries with little correspondance didn't you???? I don't profess to know everything about a person after 30 minutes, no. If you read what I actually wrote, I said I can learn more about someone sexually in 30 minutes of play than 30 emails. I generally exchange some messages laying out some brief likes and dislikes, discuss some potential ideas, and then play lightly within some basic and established boundaries rather than playing endless email ping-pong. It's just my preference. Everyone is different. Others prefer minutely detailed conversation beforehand and that's ok too - but not generally for me. You said you can get someone to 'trust' you more within 30 minutes, than with 30 emails. I still stand by my point - a lot of correspondance is needed to trust, respect and learn (in this type of relationship). You disagreed which is of course up to you. I just find touch a more powerful way to build trust than writing words. Everyone is different. That's fair enough..... No one can touch into my brain though using fingers! " I'll apologise for something's I may have jumped upon, yes no two relationships are the same and there's always room to push and learn more, whether Dom or sub or both. | |||
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"The best way to learn to dom IMHO, learn with the person who wishes to submit to you, everyone is very different, and every D/S relationship is different in my experience too - he is my third dominant, and they have all been very unique. ^^ Yes, this. Very much this. Nobody could have ever taught me how to be dominant to my boy. It's an instinctive process that we've refined over time by sessioning together. You can learn and play with people all within 30 minutes though, can't you? Your earned trust and respect and learnt your subs needs and pushed boundaries with little correspondance didn't you???? I don't profess to know everything about a person after 30 minutes, no. If you read what I actually wrote, I said I can learn more about someone sexually in 30 minutes of play than 30 emails. I generally exchange some messages laying out some brief likes and dislikes, discuss some potential ideas, and then play lightly within some basic and established boundaries rather than playing endless email ping-pong. It's just my preference. Everyone is different. Others prefer minutely detailed conversation beforehand and that's ok too - but not generally for me." I agree with this. I regularly session at events with Doms that are recommended for play. We have a brief chat and then I sub for them. My submission isn't a special precious gift. My submission is natural and switches on when it's stimulated. I can trust many Doms. Quite quickly. I also have different levels of play. Of course I will trust MY dom and play harder with no safe word and no limits because we know each other so well and if I am doing a scene with a dom at a club, then my limits will be lists and lists and a safe word used. | |||
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"The best way to learn to dom IMHO, learn with the person who wishes to submit to you, everyone is very different, and every D/S relationship is different in my experience too - he is my third dominant, and they have all been very unique. ^^ Yes, this. Very much this. Nobody could have ever taught me how to be dominant to my boy. It's an instinctive process that we've refined over time by sessioning together. You can learn and play with people all within 30 minutes though, can't you? Your earned trust and respect and learnt your subs needs and pushed boundaries with little correspondance didn't you???? I don't profess to know everything about a person after 30 minutes, no. If you read what I actually wrote, I said I can learn more about someone sexually in 30 minutes of play than 30 emails. I generally exchange some messages laying out some brief likes and dislikes, discuss some potential ideas, and then play lightly within some basic and established boundaries rather than playing endless email ping-pong. It's just my preference. Everyone is different. Others prefer minutely detailed conversation beforehand and that's ok too - but not generally for me. I agree with this. I regularly session at events with Doms that are recommended for play. We have a brief chat and then I sub for them. My submission isn't a special precious gift. My submission is natural and switches on when it's stimulated. I can trust many Doms. Quite quickly. I also have different levels of play. Of course I will trust MY dom and play harder with no safe word and no limits because we know each other so well and if I am doing a scene with a dom at a club, then my limits will be lists and lists and a safe word used. " Events specially organised is somewhat different though to meeting some stranger from the net. So long as it's safe and fun, the rewards speak for themselves. | |||
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"I am a guy who likes to take be in charge, but I have never really released my Dom side. Any advice on how to start?" Subservience and submission are different things. As you can see from the debates some people hold very strong inflexible views. I would suggest that you steer clear of advice from people who claim there is a such a thing as a true Dom a true sub or just one way to do things. A D/s relationship is as unique as any other relationship, maybe even more so. It's between you and your sub to work on what you need and want. That may well change over time. As always communication is the key. There are sites that are much more heavily BDSM based, there are kink and fetish events (munches and play) where you can get to chat to people and read about things. Explore together. Find your own path. Oh and others have said, don't read 50 shades for any sort of guide | |||
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"I am a guy who likes to take be in charge, but I have never really released my Dom side. Any advice on how to start?" 1. Don't ask for advice on a swinging site ask on a BDSM Fet orientated site. Pick the people carefully and look at their previous post history and see if you respect what they say in general or not. 2. Communicate, communicate, communicate and communicate some more with the person that wishes to be submissive to you about what their needs and desires are. Consider a submissive's questionnaire. 3. Set a framework for how that may work and consider a contract depending on how far you want to go. 4. Pick one thing of interest regarding submission and Dominance. Learn everything you can about it starting with safety aspects and potential hazards and then start off slow and try it. 5. I agree with above posters. Trust cannot be gained through emails or messages on here to many are just full of it to be honest. To easy to lie and make all sorts of outrageous claims when the person is not sitting in front of you. Find your local munch and go to it. Talk to people and find those you respect and try and learn from them. 6. If you really are serious about being a good Dom there is a mountain to learn and it is on going. You are born with a Dominant nature that's it. To become a Dominant is a whole other thing. Some relationships don't involve pain at all and require a whole other skill set, some involve extreme pain you may not be comfortable at all in dishing out or learning how to do that safely. And most are somewhere inbetween both of those. 7. I don't believe there is true Doms or Subs. Every single D/s relationship is different, every single scene is different. Everyone Dominates or submits in different ways. There are bad Dominants a plenty though. Try your hardest not to be one of those
If a submissive offers submission on the otherhand I don't believe there is a bad sub because a good Dominant will direct the sub wherever she/he needs to go and Dominate the situation, lifestyle, scene or whatever. If the sub fucks up its on the Domiant for losing control and you will fuckup. Just try and focus on minimising those times.
8. There is big difference between being a good Dominant and having a little
Kink in your relationship. Find out the differences and consider them....
That should give you plenty to mull over | |||
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"I have a workmans belt in the garage lol.. Any other advise please?dont forget you must wear a poets shirt under a leather waiscoat with leather trousers .also adress every female as the third person aswell they will be falling at your feet "This | |||
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