FabSwingers.com forum: FF flirting in the vanilla world

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's easier when someone's flirting with you in chat, or even on the forum here... but in the 'real' world when you don't know who's bi/gay/trans etc, how do ladies know when another woman is flirting with you?

I ask because I have no clue!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's easier when someone's flirting with you in chat, or even on the forum here... but in the 'real' world when you don't know who's bi/gay/trans etc, how do ladies know when another woman is flirting with you?

I ask because I have no clue!! "

Ooh interesting one this. I'd have no idea - other than they'd be overly complimentary/touchy feely, maybe?

It's pretty easy to spot when guys are flirting - would it be any different, I wonder. Maybe you have to be fully open to picking up signals to receive them?

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Can't really answer your question but maybe girls are more subtle flirters than guys....Flik has to almost draw pictures for me when women flirt as I never notice a thing.....that might just be me though.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"Can't really answer your question but maybe girls are more subtle flirters than guys....Flik has to almost draw pictures for me when women flirt as I never notice a thing.....that might just be me though."

Nope that's not just you! I thought I was alone!! Hurrah!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess you have to be a little braver in the real world as we inconveniently don't walk around with labels. I tend to only flirt when in the gay part of town and even then it's probably no more than a smile to see if I get one back.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah, there's no doubt that women are far more subtle in the art of flirting... I can tell when a woman is flirting with my boyfriend, but I can never tell when they're flirting with me!

Guess I need to try to pay more attention and make eye contact more.

How does that work for you, smiling and see if you get one back?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think women are more subtle, I've always been quite oblivious to flirting from either sex.

Recently though a lady who works for another department at work has commented on my boobs, gives me compliments daily and the other day she started stroking my hair. Work makes it more complicated - so I'm choosing to think she's just being friendly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I flirt with men and women all the time - it's in my nature to want them to like me m x

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I think women are more subtle, I've always been quite oblivious to flirting from either sex.

choosing to think she's just being

friendly. "

She is being very friendly.

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I haven't got a clue. If anyone finds out, can they tell me please? Mind you, I can rarely tell when guys are flirting either.

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By *o30Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

I can't even tell if a guy is flirting, I definitely won't be able to tell if a woman was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bugger subtle...just let them know u fancy them lol...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A smile, a little prolonged eye contact and see if I get the same back. It's not something I'm practised at though! Like you say, very subtle and perhaps we do ourselves no favours by it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is flirtatious body language not similar when a woman flirts with a man to when she flirts with another woman? Pupil dilation, eye contact, slightly coy, playing with her hair? To name a few.... When more confident some women overtly flirt by taking the piss and insulting men. Not sure that would be the same with women though. Interesting question though.

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By *ouple_SpondonCouple
over a year ago

Spondon

In fairness I (Rob) probably wouldn't believe someone was flirting with me even if they got naked and begged me to pleasure them....

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By *verReadyAndMinxyCouple
over a year ago

Blackpool

good question Lily. Like in the clubs how do you tell if a girl is bi or not, unless you see her in action of course!

Unfortunately you could quite easily offend the extreme anti- bi group.

I think it has to be more in the conversation that you strike up. Along the lines, is it your first time here, are you on fab, what are you looking for - males, females, or couples.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can tell when men are flirting.... but someone said that women are confidently flirting with men they jokingly insult men etc... I do that for banter :P

You're right Pip, asking directly can offend the anti-bi group... but at the same time I think people can get bored of that same old conversation haha. Maybe I'll just have to throw in a good wink here and there and be prepared to eat rejection haha.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"I think women are more subtle, I've always been quite oblivious to flirting from either sex.

What happens if she starts stroking other parts? How you going to handle that one

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

I really was hoping someone would have to answer ......

I've had a d*unk fondle with a barmaid in a local pub and she does compliment me on my boobs occasionally but other times just about ignores me , I did tell her once that I was interested in another woman that comes in the pub and the barmaid told me she thinks she is bi and to go for it , tbh I was hoping for an offer from her ....

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey, I think you're hot and I was wondering if you'd like to get to know each other over a drink?"

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Unless there's six foot high pink neon letters saying 'I fancy you' I'm oblivious to any signals. Mr eventually had to say "bloody hell, just give me your number!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""Hey, I think you're hot and I was wondering if you'd like to get to know each other over a drink?""

Well, yeah, that would be a good start. I was wondering about signals though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Hey, I think you're hot and I was wondering if you'd like to get to know each other over a drink?"

Well, yeah, that would be a good start. I was wondering about signals though. "

I don't do signals. I just ask them.

You can't say "all gay women do X" because there is no hive mind.

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By *randMrs T90Couple
over a year ago

Chester

I (Mrs) totally understand this! like you, I'm not sure about females flirting with females in the non-fab world. I tend to shy away from it, But I always clock the sexy ladies and just watch see if they take a fancy to my other half.

Totally missed the flirting when I was about 17 and my boyfriends lesbian friends shut me in a toilet with them and asked if I fancied joining them in a 3some. I turned them down simply because I was shocked, believe me, it has always been on my mind ever since.........

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

Think I might just bite the bullet next time I see her , just a tad worried if she isn't and I come across too strong and she decides it would be more fun to tell everyone rather than have me ....

Jo x

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

"Think I might just bite the bullet next time I see her , just a tad worried if she isn't and I come across too strong and she decides it would be more fun to tell everyone rather than have me ....

Jo x"

Just do what we guys do. Ask out for a drink. Get her d*unk, then bundle into her home when she gets there and refuse to leave til she kisses you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

""Hey, I think you're hot and I was wondering if you'd like to get to know each other over a drink?"

Well, yeah, that would be a good start. I was wondering about signals though.

I don't do signals. I just ask them.

You can't say "all gay women do X" because there is no hive mind."

Why would you think I'd say that?

I understand your hesitation Jo... but I doubt it'd be much of a problem if word did get out, maybe a few comments from colleagues about threesomes, but nothing a laugh can't shrug off!

Yeah, I think it's all about just having the guts to ask.

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

Thanks LadyLily I'll go for it but I think I'll try getting a tad tipsy too .....

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same as with men really. Body language, eye contact etc. Tho I find once you tell women you are bi that can sometimes make then curious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same as with guys, subtle smile, length of eye contact, body position mirroring; legs cross same way, hand gestures the same etc, gentle touch on arm or knee, raised eyebrows.

I was in a training session and someone said that body language was bollocks so I told all 6 people what their attitude/line of thought was and how interested they where in me... all 6 gasped and where speechless.

Another tip, the expression someone is wearing for the first 1/2 second is what they where thinking about before they saw you, watch their eyes change as they catch up with their brain.

I learned it for business use and dating (I am bi). If you are subtle how you use it and the other person does not respond it means they have not noticed/not interested.

Now for Neuro-linguistic programming to change their point of view, see wikipedia

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

rubbish at it...in clubs i dont like to assume anything...

im also very respectful of boundaries of others..wouldnt like to be seen to be anything different...

being honest i just think people in those situations are just being nice and welcoming and friendly...they kind of have to get the sledgehammer out...lolol

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