FabSwingers.com forum: Party messages

By *Blondnsexy OP Couple
over a year ago

London

So that I am sure of the rules and not upsetting people .... am I allowed to message people in my friend's list about parties? These people have asked me to keep in touch with them and update them about such events. Please advise

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

If someone mails you and asks about the parties you advertise on your profile then you can send it then

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By *Blondnsexy OP Couple
over a year ago

London

These people have messaged me and asked me about the parties and have asked me to keep them informed

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

how else are they going to know about your party unless you let them know...

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

"No

If someone mails you and asks about the parties you advertise on your profile then you can send it then

Useful to know as in the past I have had to block people who sent party invite after party invite ... without being our friend.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"These people have messaged me and asked me about the parties and have asked me to keep them informed"

If they ask you for details then it is fine to send....if you are just sending mails to people on your friends list ( or non friends ) unsolicited then that isn't allowed.

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By *Blondnsexy OP Couple
over a year ago

London

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"No

If someone mails you and asks about the parties you advertise on your profile then you can send it then

Useful to know as in the past I have had to block people who sent party invite after party invite ... without being our friend."

Even if they are your friend they shouldn't be sending them uninvited.

Always report

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand Ruby, I co-host a social and the way we started out was to invite friends of our friends list, advertise through organised events and meets and statuses

however sometimes we know off people that we think would enjoy our social and have sent invites, also our friends don't always read statuses so do you mean we need to wait for people to come to us.We Don't use forums to advertise

I also only meet at partys and have received many invites to various partys and personally I like that as thats what I do lol I say no thankyou if not interested

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

so do you mean we need to wait for people to come to us.

Yes

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By *itTVlondonTV/TS
over a year ago

London

It's best/safest to ask Admin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so do you mean we need to wait for people to come to us.

)

Yes

We promise to be good girls from now on, from our party profile, we will sit and wait

we just stick to status, advertising meets section and organised events.hope my friends don't get stroppy because haven't reminded them and they missed the list

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how else are they going to know about your party unless you let them know...

If they are on the friends list then it would appear on the newsfeed as a meet or a status

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

You can update status or add a meet and your friends will see, if you send messages even to friends they might report you for spamming. If they contact you direct, it's OK to reply

Admin x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this a change to the rules?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can update status or add a meet and your friends will see, if you send messages even to friends they might report you for spamming. If they contact you direct, it's OK to reply

Admin x"

But we only invite our friends to our parties, if we put them on a status update, we'd announce it to the whole site, not something we wish to do...since when has using your friends list to choose who you invite into your home been against the rules? Why would that be any different to just inviting a single person or a couple?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can update status or add a meet and your friends will see, if you send messages even to friends they might report you for spamming. If they contact you direct, it's OK to reply

Admin x

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Is this a change to the rules? "

Don't think so. It's just not often complained about, so doesn't have the high profile of some other rules!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

If someone mails you and asks about the parties you advertise on your profile then you can send it then

Where in the FAQs is this stated? And if thats the case does that mean men that send same generic copy n paste to every woman they see online is also against the rules.

As for unsolicited mail, isn't all mail unsolicited unless receiver wants it, i know 98% my mail i receive unsolicited

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We were planning on having another party but looks like there's no way we can sort it via Fab if we're not allowed to mail people and ask.

Is the site slowly being changed to '4some couple swap only' type swinging?

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

To clarify: If it's not a commercial party and there's no money changing hands, yes you can message your friends

Admin x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To clarify: If it's not a commercial party and there's no money changing hands, yes you can message your friends

Admin x"

Thanks. Hadn't read the OPs profile. I think that clarity should have been given initially but that's a relief.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

If someone mails you and asks about the parties you advertise on your profile then you can send it then

Useful to know as in the past I have had to block people who sent party invite after party invite ... without being our friend."

I have also had lots of party invites which are all unwanted and it drives me mad especially as i am sure some people keep making new profiles once i block them !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To clarify: If it's not a commercial party and there's no money changing hands, yes you can message your friends

Admin x"

our party's are not commercial party's they are socials at a spa(ok people have fun there) however no money comes to me or my co-host.They pay entrance to the spa, some spa's and other venues use fab to advertise there partys, partys have been used to get likeminded people together even before fabswingers existed, it is a bit unfair that hosts can not send people invites that they think would be interested

the list opens a month before the party,sometimes our friends list need a reminding or they miss out on list

as people have said we get spam messages from males wanting private meets, I don't private meet and that's clear on my profile, I can't go round reporting men for unsolicited mail

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

"You can update status or add a meet and your friends will see, if you send messages even to friends they might report you for spamming. If they contact you direct, it's OK to reply

Admin x"

Didn't know this...we often get unsolicited party invites...it's not a big problem though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

If someone mails you and asks about the parties you advertise on your profile then you can send it then

Useful to know as in the past I have had to block people who sent party invite after party invite ... without being our friend.

I have also had lots of party invites which are all unwanted and it drives me mad especially as i am sure some people keep making new profiles once i block them !"

if people don't like party invites surely they can just block and keep blocking.maybe there are some serial inviters, but there not causing any harm, just like the serial single men wanting meets we can simply say no thankyou or block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/06/15 08:47:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

If someone mails you and asks about the parties you advertise on your profile then you can send it then

Useful to know as in the past I have had to block people who sent party invite after party invite ... without being our friend.

I have also had lots of party invites which are all unwanted and it drives me mad especially as i am sure some people keep making new profiles once i block them !

I get party invites, ussualy from couples, they are always unwanted so i block them. I then get another party invite from another member who happens to have the same profile text and photos as the blocked one. It is very annoying cus blocking doesn'y help.

Although it is ussualy froma couple some also come from single guy and single fem profiles and i can't stop them coming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eh..so someone on your friends list has to invite you to invite them?? It's fab swingers not the masons...seems a bit extreme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No

If someone mails you and asks about the parties you advertise on your profile then you can send it then

Useful to know as in the past I have had to block people who sent party invite after party invite ... without being our friend.

I have also had lots of party invites which are all unwanted and it drives me mad especially as i am sure some people keep making new profiles once i block them !

Although it is ussualy froma couple some also come from single guy and single fem profiles and i can't stop them coming "

I do understand what your saying and maybe those are serial offenders

We don't personnelly like to offend people, we have held two partys so far and people we felt maybe interested or on friends list that deleted invites, we have taken that as no interest as in the rules in general no reply no interest and haven't asked them again.There are alot of party hosts which are not into bothering people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/06/15 09:07:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Eh..so someone on your friends list has to invite you to invite them?? It's fab swingers not the masons...seems a bit extreme

yes friends list have to read status, meets and organised events meets and sit back and wait for people to contact used so we can then send a invite when they said it ok we can do that.

if a man did that wanting private meets they wouldn't meet

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"No

If someone mails you and asks about the parties you advertise on your profile then you can send it then

Where in the FAQs is this stated? And if thats the case does that mean men that send same generic copy n paste to every woman they see online is also against the rules.

As for unsolicited mail, isn't all mail unsolicited unless receiver wants it, i know 98% my mail i receive unsolicited"

The FAQ is more an information thing rather than a list of rules.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"We were planning on having another party but looks like there's no way we can sort it via Fab if we're not allowed to mail people and ask.

Is the site slowly being changed to '4some couple swap only' type swinging?"

It only applies to commerical/ charging parties that may be spamming

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"I do understand what your saying and maybe those are serial offenders

Exactly this, it's what we've been doing and had no idea we were doing anything wrong as there's nothing in the FAQs to say so.

One reason we're having our party is to get to know other people in the area, as the scene around here isn't exactly jumping and we're at least an hour away from a club in any direction.

Didn't realise we weren't allowed to do this and I don't really think it's a big deal. We've received a couple of invites in the past from people we've never met, and not thought anything of it.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"To clarify: If it's not a commercial party and there's no money changing hands, yes you can message your friends

Admin x

the list opens a month before the party,sometimes our friends list need a reminding or they miss out on list

as people have said we get spam messages from males wanting private meets, I don't private meet and that's clear on my profile, I can't go round reporting men for unsolicited mail"

It is commercial though if you are advertising charges.

People ( be that men in your case ) sending you mail is hardly the same thing as a party profile who charges sending anyone unsolicited mails about a paid event.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To clarify: If it's not a commercial party and there's no money changing hands, yes you can message your friends

Admin x

the list opens a month before the party,sometimes our friends list need a reminding or they miss out on list

as people have said we get spam messages from males wanting private meets, I don't private meet and that's clear on my profile, I can't go round reporting men for unsolicited mail

It is commercial though if you are advertising charges.

People ( be that men in your case ) sending you mail is hardly the same thing as a party profile who charges sending anyone unsolicited mails about a paid event.

I've already said I will behave above and not send invites I just don't see a problem with it as we are not personally charging them, we are giving them information of the cost to get in the spa.we have people in the party profile friends list awaiting invites.i will have to put in status 'we can't invite friends due to fabs rules of unsolicited mail. remember to message us to give us permission to invite you lol

yeah single men are to me with there spaming messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So to clarify what the op asked we are not allowed to send invites to anyone on our friends lists or to anyone we think that may be interested

if we are commercial party organisers eg have entrance fee's to venues

so we can still advertise on statuses, in meets/organised events sections which go in the local updates and news feeds.however sit back and wait for people to contact us (not contact them)

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

I can see why Fab has to set restrictions on party invites as it can be annoying when loads of invites come through from random people. BUT, it does feel like more and more restrictions are being imposed and it's spoiling the fun on here. Not sure what the solution is.

What some of our friends do, is start small, invite people who they know will want to go to the party and when they attend, ask them for an email address for future invites. They also ask them to spead the word to their other swinging friends and pass on the organiser email to be contacted directly.

It's a bit long winded but it only took 3 parties for it to be well attended by loads of people, a lot of whom weren't even on Fab. It bypasses the need to use Fab and be at risk of breaking rules!

Good networking at parties and passing on a 'play' email address will get you more wanted invites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To clarify: If it's not a commercial party and there's no money changing hands, yes you can message your friends

Admin x"

Thank you for the clarification. That's great.

Apologies for sounding snooty in my earlier post, no excuse but I'd just woken up.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

[Removed by poster at 16/06/15 12:58:59]

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Most people won't fall foul of any restrictions Admin place on the site, it is only the people who spam their paid event constantly that would.

Admin have found that members don't like being spammed commercially so why they restrict what you can do.

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

"Most people won't fall foul of any restrictions Admin place on the site, it is only the people who spam their paid event constantly that would.

Admin have found that members don't like being spammed commercially so why they restrict what you can do.

I wouldn't want your 'job' for a big clock!!!! lol

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I assume by 'commercial' you mean people who want to make money from it, rather than those splitting the costs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/06/15 13:38:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most people won't fall foul of any restrictions Admin place on the site, it is only the people who spam their paid event constantly that would.

Admin have found that members don't like being spammed commercially so why they restrict what you can do.

we are new this year to hosting and didn't know these rules we got the party profile so our friends and new people can keep updated, never realised its spamming when they are friends already have interest in our partys, doubt very much they would report us as they didn't the last two party's we held

Its rare I invite randoms who think may be interested

hope this rule Doesn't make people lose out

swinging parties are very popular and I Wouldn't know about them if I had not been invited by hosts originally and hope that I still get invites.i go to london partys but don't live near there so getting invites I personally like

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Hopefully these rules and others that aren't listed in the FAQs can be added so everyone knows for the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I assume by 'commercial' you mean people who want to make money from it, rather than those splitting the costs? "

We don't make money those that do use here to advertise only as have websites etc.

its because we hold the events at a spa its considered commercial

at the moment I have a meet up for spa to meet me/friends i know there not a party lol so in affect im advertising a place that has a entrance fee so I can't win really

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Ok, so what about those who may not accommodate and would need to hire somewhere? If they asked attendees to help cover the cost, is that classed as commercial?

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By *ouise_essexWoman
over a year ago

basildon

Well i'm confused to say the least.

Ive been on this site for many of years, I'm a well known party host, I was told once not to send party invites to those I dont know which is fine, I was then told by admin I can only send invites to those who have contacted me before.. so now its all changed???

I have a party page I'm also have a clubs page so I can advertise my events on my profiles.

Unlike others profile I don't just add people to my friends list unless we have spoken before, I also don't add anyone whom I don't have anything in common with, thats the whole idea of having friends is it not, so I should be able to tell "MY FRIENDS" that i'm holding a party, after all is swinging all about having "FUN" and not about being told off like a naughty child.. lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am sure there are lots of sites around that have no rules but Admin have decided to have some on here.

I personally think Admin are clear in what they ask but I will quote their posts for anyone who is unsure.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"You can update status or add a meet and your friends will see, if you send messages even to friends they might report you for spamming. If they contact you direct, it's OK to reply

Admin x"

For commercial adverts

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"To clarify: If it's not a commercial party and there's no money changing hands, yes you can message your friends

Admin x"

For private parties ( sharing expenses doesn't count as commercial )

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