FabSwingers.com forum: Oral with or without a condom

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hope you can all give me a little advice. I like safe sex (no bareback here). Just wonder why people insist on a condom for vaginal/anal sex but are happy to give a blow job without a condom as you can catch the same diseases. Am I too fussy or do other people think the same as me. All replies greatly received x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hope you can all give me a little advice. I like safe sex (no bareback here). Just wonder why people insist on a condom for vaginal/anal sex but are happy to give a blow job without a condom as you can catch the same diseases. Am I too fussy or do other people think the same as me. All replies greatly received x"

The risk with oral is much lower .

plus oral with condom and dams negates the pleasure so it's a risk worth taking for us .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A point we've made before. Someone who has 'safe' sex with 30 people a year yet gives bear oral has the cheek to be judgemental on someone who plays bareback once or twice a year followed by a full sexual health checkup each time.

Play your own way but the judge types are a little much lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Defo without no point otherwise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The risk from oral sex is much lower... Its still a risk but more than a few cocks and pussys between us ( just pussy for mr lol ) but many Years in the lifestyle without any issues.

We never get in our high horse although me personally I get a bit funny about those that meet weekly bareback as for me there is no way they are getting tested in between but I wouldn't tell them not to play that way.

The risk is actually higher from those that do group play and the guys go from woman to woman without washing their fingers x so I enjoy oral without a condom as its a risk I'm prepared to take. I get tested often and if a guy wanted a bj with a condom on I'd refuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, there is plenty of data on the internet about this and as said above the risks are far lower than vaginal or anal sex.

If you decide to go bare oral then you can always gargle with an antiseptic/antibiotic mouthwash after. The risks are however low and the effect if you catch something tend to be limited and easily dealt with.

You also need to think as you contemplate what to do in your sex life if there is any other activity you take park in, unrelated to sex, that is riskier and has worse consequences. You may decide not to do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The risk from oral sex is much lower... Its still a risk but more than a few cocks and pussys between us ( just pussy for mr lol ) but many Years in the lifestyle without any issues.

Should have added that , we would refuse protected oral too

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By *ertiVogtsMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"A point we've made before. Someone who has 'safe' sex with 30 people a year yet gives bear oral has the cheek to be judgemental on someone who plays bareback once or twice a year followed by a full sexual health checkup each time.

Play your own way but the judge types are a little much lol"

There are people who will give a bear oral?I would pay to see that!

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By *ermaidTWoman
over a year ago

and around..fresh waters

Definitely minus a condom for oral! No enjoyment for either party and I practice safe sex. Condoms every time and I get checked every month for my own peace of mind.

Each to their own though! As long as everyone is safe and happy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't and wouldn't suck a cock with a condom on! I enjoy the natural taste and smell of a man

(clean, washed man).

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

[Removed by poster at 08/06/15 18:29:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I may be wrong but I don't think you can catch AIDS from oral

You can indeed. Well, HIV.

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

"I may be wrong but I don't think you can catch AIDS from oral

You can indeed. Well, HIV."

Was just checking into it as you posted.

You can also catch syphilis from having your nipples licked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you look here http://www.aidsmap.com/Estimated-risk-per-exposure/page/1324038/ you will see that the risk of catching something from oral sex with an already infected person is 1:2,500. This always assumes the HIV positive person does not tell you they are Infected and you can prevent contact.

There are about 1.5:1,000 of UK people living with AIDS.

The Statistical probability of catching HIV/AIDS from Oral sex is therefore 1:1,700,000.

Chance of dying from other things:-

falling off a ladder 1:2,300,000

Drowning in the bath 1:685,000

Train crash 1:500,000

Accident at work 1:43,500

Road accident 1:8,000

Cancer 1:5

Heart attack/Stroke 1:2.5

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you look here http://www.aidsmap.com/Estimated-risk-per-exposure/page/1324038/ you will see that the risk of catching something from oral sex with an already infected person is 1:2,500. This always assumes the HIV positive person does not tell you they are Infected and you can prevent contact.

There are about 1.5:1,000 of UK people living with AIDS.

The Statistical probability of catching HIV/AIDS from Oral sex is therefore 1:1,700,000.

Chance of dying from other things:-

falling off a ladder 1:2,300,000

Drowning in the bath 1:685,000

Train crash 1:500,000

Accident at work 1:43,500

Road accident 1:8,000

Cancer 1:5

Heart attack/Stroke 1:2.5

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

To be fair though, I'd rather die quickly in the bath or in an accident than slowly, painfully and contagiously from HIV.

Please don't mock people who decide that it's not an acceptable risk for them. It's unkind and it just shows complete intolerance towards others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

And you know.. for the record.. I'd also rather not catch gonorrhoea, genital herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, hepatitis A, hepatitis B or hepatitis C.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are about 1.5:1,000 of UK people living with AIDS.

The Statistical probability of catching HIV/AIDS from Oral sex is therefore 1:1,700,000.

Chance of dying from other things:-

falling off a ladder 1:2,300,000

Drowning in the bath 1:685,000

Train crash 1:500,000

Accident at work 1:43,500

Road accident 1:8,000

Cancer 1:5

Heart attack/Stroke 1:2.5

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

Sorry but the accountant in me has to comment on that. By partaking in swinging and multiple partners you will be opening yourself up to a higher percentage than the 1.5:1000 per population.

The only real stat to use in that calc would be one taken from and appropriate sample. The full UK is not an appropriate sample.

I'm not saying your point isn't valid. I don't know if it is or not but badly calculated stats lead to badly made decisions.

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By *ary_ArgyllMan
over a year ago

Argyll

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

And you know.. for the record.. I'd also rather not catch gonorrhoea, genital herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, hepatitis A, hepatitis B or hepatitis C."

Almost impossible to totally avoid any risk of catching the above unless you become celibate or only have one partner who is never sleeping with anyone else. Second best option is to be careful and get tested regularly.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

its very timesome ...try this attitude ..just do what works for you ..fuk everyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are about 1.5:1,000 of UK people living with AIDS.

The Statistical probability of catching HIV/AIDS from Oral sex is therefore 1:1,700,000.

Chance of dying from other things:-

falling off a ladder 1:2,300,000

Drowning in the bath 1:685,000

Train crash 1:500,000

Accident at work 1:43,500

Road accident 1:8,000

Cancer 1:5

Heart attack/Stroke 1:2.5

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

To be fair though, I'd rather die quickly in the bath or in an accident than slowly, painfully and contagiously from HIV.

Please don't mock people who decide that it's not an acceptable risk for them. It's unkind and it just shows complete intolerance towards others."

I don't see anyone being unkind, mocking people or being intolerant here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are about 1.5:1,000 of UK people living with AIDS.

The Statistical probability of catching HIV/AIDS from Oral sex is therefore 1:1,700,000.

Chance of dying from other things:-

falling off a ladder 1:2,300,000

Drowning in the bath 1:685,000

Train crash 1:500,000

Accident at work 1:43,500

Road accident 1:8,000

Cancer 1:5

Heart attack/Stroke 1:2.5

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

Sorry but the accountant in me has to comment on that. By partaking in swinging and multiple partners you will be opening yourself up to a higher percentage than the 1.5:1000 per population.

The only real stat to use in that calc would be one taken from and appropriate sample. The full UK is not an appropriate sample.

I'm not saying your point isn't valid. I don't know if it is or not but badly calculated stats lead to badly made decisions."

Lies, damned lies and statistics eh?

Nope, sorry Mr Accountant, I cannot agree. You may have more goes at getting it as a Swinger but it will not change the number of people in the UK population with HIV/Aids.

I also have no reason to believe that the proportion of people with HIV/Aids in the swinging community is any greater than in the vanilla world. Unless you do?

The two groups most affected remain gay and bisexual men and black African heterosexuals. 60% of all new cases of HIV in the UK are of course Bi and gay men. HIV positive men are on the whole responsible so a significant proportion are unlikely to offer to have bare oral sex with a woman.

There are also a lot of HIV cases in prison so it would be reasonable to propose that the proportion of Bi or heterosexual HIV men in the UK who are likely to meet a woman on Fab for oral sex is significantly less than 1.5:1000. Especially if she was not into black heterosexual men.

There are about 20,000 deaths from rabies every year in India so no visits to the Taj Mahal guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

To be fair though, I'd rather die quickly in the bath or in an accident than slowly, painfully and contagiously from HIV.

Please don't mock people who decide that it's not an acceptable risk for them. It's unkind and it just shows complete intolerance towards others."

There is no attempt to mock. Everyone is entitled to their own point of view and I fully support that.

It is still however a mystery to me why relatively mild STIs (chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, and the like) are treated with such fear in comparison with the everyday killers we willingly face in our daily lives.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

ground breaking idea ....lets all look after our own sexual health and stop worrying about what others who we will never meet are doing ...i know ...radical ...just an idea !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are about 1.5:1,000 of UK people living with AIDS.

The Statistical probability of catching HIV/AIDS from Oral sex is therefore 1:1,700,000.

Chance of dying from other things:-

falling off a ladder 1:2,300,000

Drowning in the bath 1:685,000

Train crash 1:500,000

Accident at work 1:43,500

Road accident 1:8,000

Cancer 1:5

Heart attack/Stroke 1:2.5

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

Sorry but the accountant in me has to comment on that. By partaking in swinging and multiple partners you will be opening yourself up to a higher percentage than the 1.5:1000 per population.

The only real stat to use in that calc would be one taken from and appropriate sample. The full UK is not an appropriate sample.

I'm not saying your point isn't valid. I don't know if it is or not but badly calculated stats lead to badly made decisions.

Lies, damned lies and statistics eh?

Nope, sorry Mr Accountant, I cannot agree. You may have more goes at getting it as a Swinger but it will not change the number of people in the UK population with HIV/Aids.

I also have no reason to believe that the proportion of people with HIV/Aids in the swinging community is any greater than in the vanilla world. Unless you do?

There are about 20,000 deaths from rabies every year in India so no visits to the Taj Mahal guys.

It's Miss not Mr accountant. And I didn't say your point was wrong, I don't have the data nor the inclination to find it, but the sample group was not appropriate.

Given the population is made up of those you have mentioned and also non sexually active e.g. children (yes I understand that sex isn't the only way of contracting this) then the only appropriate sample is a group of sexually active. And yes I'm going to guess they are more likely to have sti than non sexually active.

The main point of this is its all only stats that can be manipulated and by judging your next sexual health decision on a sample population of the entire of the UK seems bizarre to me.

If you want to talk risk though you are only assessing part of this by looking at probability. Judgements on risk usually prefer to assess the local relevant data and where possible and/or necessary put in place things to lower it. Also risk is usually judged by the probability, the consequences and the ability to mitigate or retire it. So even if the risk is small if the consequences are high and the cost (in time,money,effort etc.) is minimal then usually the best course of action is to mitigate a high consequence action.

If a company used only a UK population probability analysis to keep an employee safe in any other area of health or even the health service with these exact risk factors with blood transfer then they would have no case legally to stand up with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Saliva kills 99.9% of HIV virus It's like domestos for hiv. but they don't like to make it too well known as it will encourage people not to use condoms and of course the other diseses will go through the roof.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use confirms for inter course anal and vaginal.

I don't use them for the blow jobs.

No one is ever safe of safe sex. The only way would've to not to have any.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Saliva kills 99.9% of HIV virus It's like domestos for hiv. but they don't like to make it too well known as it will encourage people not to use condoms and of course the other diseses will go through the roof."

Feel free to cite your source...

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By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

Feel free to cite your source..."

Cool....it shall be spit as a lube and bareback...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9989543

Well blow me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mind you I'm reluctant to trust anything with "pub med" in its web address!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all know that oral, vaginal and anal sex are all far, far better without condoms.

It's all down to the individual to choose whether they want to take the (low) health risks.

Why can't this site just leave it at that, and let everybody make up their own minds and not judge?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and if you're genuinely avoiding unprotected ORAL sex due to HIV fears, you should really research HIV transmission rates. You're more likely to get struck by lighting on the way to a meet than you are to get HIV through oral sex.

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By *oon-lightWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

U are atill at risk of getting an STI with oral it's not just unprotected sex that can give u a sexual transmitted disease google it tells u all about it and I know it truely has has happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are about 1.5:1,000 of UK people living with AIDS.

The Statistical probability of catching HIV/AIDS from Oral sex is therefore 1:1,700,000.

Chance of dying from other things:-

falling off a ladder 1:2,300,000

Drowning in the bath 1:685,000

Train crash 1:500,000

Accident at work 1:43,500

Road accident 1:8,000

Cancer 1:5

Heart attack/Stroke 1:2.5

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

Sorry but the accountant in me has to comment on that. By partaking in swinging and multiple partners you will be opening yourself up to a higher percentage than the 1.5:1000 per population.

The only real stat to use in that calc would be one taken from and appropriate sample. The full UK is not an appropriate sample.

I'm not saying your point isn't valid. I don't know if it is or not but badly calculated stats lead to badly made decisions.

Lies, damned lies and statistics eh?

Nope, sorry Mr Accountant, I cannot agree. You may have more goes at getting it as a Swinger but it will not change the number of people in the UK population with HIV/Aids.

I also have no reason to believe that the proportion of people with HIV/Aids in the swinging community is any greater than in the vanilla world. Unless you do?

There are about 20,000 deaths from rabies every year in India so no visits to the Taj Mahal guys.

It's Miss not Mr accountant. And I didn't say your point was wrong, I don't have the data nor the inclination to find it, but the sample group was not appropriate.

The main point of this is its all only stats that can be manipulated and by judging your next sexual health decision on a sample population of the entire of the UK seems bizarre to me.

You are right where high impact is involved it is often better to avoid the risk.

It is a sad fact that the HIV stats include not only pensioners and those no longer sexually active because of their condition but also HIV positive children. So to just include those that are of sexually active age (16 to 70?) would be excluding some affected people.

Anyway, the fact remains whatever the stats say you could contract it on your first contact. So nothing is safe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all know that oral, vaginal and anal sex are all far, far better without condoms.

That's simply not true. Many men and women prefer the feel of condoms to naked flesh.

Or can't tell the difference...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be fair though, I'd rather die quickly in the bath or in an accident than slowly, painfully and contagiously from HIV.

Please don't mock people who decide that it's not an acceptable risk for them. It's unkind and it just shows complete intolerance towards others."

It appears you are one of the very few on here that has a most sensible approach to sex and common sense, many who practice unprotected oral sex may already have caught something and do not know it, whether it be herpes which is sitting quietly until it decides to tingle away or whether it is something of much more concern

Good on you for having a sensible approach to sex, especially on first meet

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By *ncutgemMan
over a year ago

Bath ish

I use confirms for inter course anal and vaginal.

I don't use them for the blow jobs.

No one is ever safe of safe sex. The only way would've to not to have any.

Is KAT coming out to play

i have a fab place to show off her costumes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all know that oral, vaginal and anal sex are all far, far better without condoms.

That's simply not true. Many men and women prefer the feel of condoms to naked flesh.

Or can't tell the difference..."

Really? I've never known a man with this opinion. Of the men I've spoken to about this (friends, colleagues, men at group meets, men on fab etc)which is probably about 50, I've never ever heard of a man who prefers the feel of condoms. Sure, a lot wear them (including me) because of pregnancy and STD concerns. But without fail they're seen as a necessary evil.

Women are different, because the pleasure isn't reduced as much with condoms. However, again, about half of the girls I know prefer not to use condoms due to the increased intamacy and because it feels either 'more natural' or 'dirtier'. The other half is split 50/50 into 'don't feel a difference' and 'prefer condoms so I don't have to clean myself up'.

Still, each to their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all know that oral, vaginal and anal sex are all far, far better without condoms.

That's simply not true. Many men and women prefer the feel of condoms to naked flesh.

Or can't tell the difference..."

I want to just simply say bollocks, but I'll say I doubt it's that's many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said... it's best to go take a look at the stats for yourselves... and then balance the risks vs. pleasures balance. For most of us that rules out bareback because enough pleasure can be had with condoms and the risks seem quite considerable. When it comes to oral however, the risks do seem to be significantly smaller, indeed mountains out of molehills comes to mind, plus the pleasure is significant. I wouldn't want to lick a sheet of plastic and I can't say I'd get much from having my sheet of plastic licked either. So you get informed and make your own choices

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As others have said... it's best to go take a look at the stats for yourselves... and then balance the risks vs. pleasures balance. For most of us that rules out bareback because enough pleasure can be had with condoms and the risks seem quite considerable. When it comes to oral however, the risks do seem to be significantly smaller, indeed mountains out of molehills comes to mind, plus the pleasure is significant. I wouldn't want to lick a sheet of plastic and I can't say I'd get much from having my sheet of plastic licked either. So you get informed and make your own choices

I should add that you should never lick or fuck anything that doesn't look right to you... but that's just taken for granted right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all know that oral, vaginal and anal sex are all far, far better without condoms.

That's simply not true. Many men and women prefer the feel of condoms to naked flesh.

Or can't tell the difference...

Still, each to their own

Two of my partners have enjoyed the feel of condoms over bareback.

But I understand that many people feel it's somehow shameful to admit this - and threads like this don't help with people expressing their personal preferences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For the record though, one of my current partners also couldn't tell I was wearing a female condom. He was blindfolded and tied down, and thought we'd bad bareback sex (which made him unhappy).

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

To be fair though, I'd rather die quickly in the bath or in an accident than slowly, painfully and contagiously from HIV.

Please don't mock people who decide that it's not an acceptable risk for them. It's unkind and it just shows complete intolerance towards others.

There is no attempt to mock. Everyone is entitled to their own point of view and I fully support that.

Chlamydia can make you sterile if not caught and treated.

Hardly not serious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bit difficult to put a condom on a vagina as well as tasting awful in the process lol

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

Regarding some men preferring the feel of condoms there's one right here unless it's with a trusted partner who has been tested.

The piece of mind from using one beats the increased risk of not using one even if it does feel better in a strictly physical sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the record though, one of my current partners also couldn't tell I was wearing a female condom. He was blindfolded and tied down, and thought we'd bad bareback sex (which made him unhappy)."

That sounds a bit crappy. Sorry to say but it sounds a bit like rape... although obviously afterwards he realised it wasn't...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the record though, one of my current partners also couldn't tell I was wearing a female condom. He was blindfolded and tied down, and thought we'd bad bareback sex (which made him unhappy).

That sounds a bit crappy. Sorry to say but it sounds a bit like rape... although obviously afterwards he realised it wasn't... "

I think it would have been part of a 'kink ' ... No harm done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

To be fair though, I'd rather die quickly in the bath or in an accident than slowly, painfully and contagiously from HIV.

Please don't mock people who decide that it's not an acceptable risk for them. It's unkind and it just shows complete intolerance towards others.

There is no attempt to mock. Everyone is entitled to their own point of view and I fully support that.

Chlamydia can make you sterile if not caught and treated.

Hardly not serious

Maybe the point is that we should all be getting tested regularly so they aren't serious as they will be detected and treated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chlamydia can make you sterile if not caught and treated.

Hardly not serious

So get tested and treated when necessary!!

Anyone who leaves any of their diseases untreated deserves what they get. You cannot have one rule for STIs and another for other diseases.

So, would you rather have influenza or chlamydia? "Neither" is not an option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

rarely comment on these topics as generally assume that most people swinging seem to be of an age that defines they should know the risks and accept them accordingly.

However, I find it odd that some of the most prolific diseases in life have fuck all to do with sex. As an amputee via someone else's error, and having had a fairly interesting few years, it seems bizarre that this subject seems to come up daily, if not hourly. Its like a day cannot pass without an STI/Bareback thread so all the bottle throwing rioters can have their fill.

Live life, understand that risk is everywhere, deal with it in the best way you see fit and dont be surprised when it goes wrong, just make it right as soon as possible..Its not difficult surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chlamydia can make you sterile if not caught and treated.

Hardly not serious

So get tested and treated when necessary!!

Anyone who leaves any of their diseases untreated deserves what they get. You cannot have one rule for STIs and another for other diseases.

So, would you rather have influenza or chlamydia? "Neither" is not an option."

Im afraid ''neither'' is an option as I would genuinely prefer to have neither. If however I had the misfortune to have ''either'' then chlamydia is far less intrusive so I would have this and treat effectively.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

To be fair though, I'd rather die quickly in the bath or in an accident than slowly, painfully and contagiously from HIV.

Please don't mock people who decide that it's not an acceptable risk for them. It's unkind and it just shows complete intolerance towards others.

There is no attempt to mock. Everyone is entitled to their own point of view and I fully support that.

Chlamydia isn't mild though, untreated it can destroy fertility in a woman...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So don't bath, drive, travel by train, fly, eat, work but do stay healthy and hope. And trust me on this, you can climb ladders with no worries.

To be fair though, I'd rather die quickly in the bath or in an accident than slowly, painfully and contagiously from HIV.

Please don't mock people who decide that it's not an acceptable risk for them. It's unkind and it just shows complete intolerance towards others.

There is no attempt to mock. Everyone is entitled to their own point of view and I fully support that.

Chlamydia isn't mild though, untreated it can destroy fertility in a woman..."

BUT!! A million and one things UNTREATED are bad. How many people have trench mouth and bleeding gums yet do fuck all about it?

The point is, the OP asked a pertinent question, the answer was and had nothing to do with anything being untreated, it was whether risks were greater unprotected. Yes they are greater at catching something, but those somethings are easily treated. You can catch herpes from kissing, yet not come across a mouth condom yet....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

without for me please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the record though, one of my current partners also couldn't tell I was wearing a female condom. He was blindfolded and tied down, and thought we'd bad bareback sex (which made him unhappy).

That sounds a bit crappy. Sorry to say but it sounds a bit like rape... although obviously afterwards he realised it wasn't... "

Blindfolding and tying a partner up during consensual sex is rape now?

Really?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"For the record though, one of my current partners also couldn't tell I was wearing a female condom. He was blindfolded and tied down, and thought we'd bad bareback sex (which made him unhappy).

That sounds a bit crappy. Sorry to say but it sounds a bit like rape... although obviously afterwards he realised it wasn't...

Blindfolding and tying a partner up during consensual sex is rape now?

Really?"

I think it's the part where he thought you'd barebacked without his consent which then caused him distress that they are referring to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the record though, one of my current partners also couldn't tell I was wearing a female condom. He was blindfolded and tied down, and thought we'd bad bareback sex (which made him unhappy).

That sounds a bit crappy. Sorry to say but it sounds a bit like rape... although obviously afterwards he realised it wasn't...

Blindfolding and tying a partner up during consensual sex is rape now?

Really?

I think it's the part where he thought you'd barebacked without his consent which then caused him distress that they are referring to."

Well, quite. But it serves to illustrate how good condoms are and how some blokes talk shit about them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chlamydia can make you sterile if not caught and treated.

Hardly not serious

So get tested and treated when necessary!!

Anyone who leaves any of their diseases untreated deserves what they get. You cannot have one rule for STIs and another for other diseases.

So, would you rather have influenza or chlamydia? "Neither" is not an option.

Have you never had flu? Good choice though considering the number of people who die each year from flu.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Couldn't and wouldn't suck a cock with a condom on! I enjoy the natural taste and smell of a man

(clean, washed man). "

Excellent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the record though, one of my current partners also couldn't tell I was wearing a female condom. He was blindfolded and tied down, and thought we'd bad bareback sex (which made him unhappy).

That sounds a bit crappy. Sorry to say but it sounds a bit like rape... although obviously afterwards he realised it wasn't...

Blindfolding and tying a partner up during consensual sex is rape now?

Really?

I think it's the part where he thought you'd barebacked without his consent which then caused him distress that they are referring to.

Well, quite. But it serves to illustrate how good condoms are and how some blokes talk shit about them..."

Just to clarify... my definition of rape is when someone is made to do a sex act they definitely don't want to do. In particular...

Man forces woman to have penetrative sex with him against her wishes

Woman forces man to have bareback sex with her so that she can get pregnant against his wishes

What you did to him would be the equivalent of some dude jumping out of the bushes with a balaclava on, forcing you to have sex with him, and then afterwards pulling off his balaclava and revealing that it was your lovely boyfriend all along... not rape at all.

In short. If you hadn't been wearing a condom and you had been ovulating then I'd class what you did as rape. The blind fold and the tying up have nothing to do with it at all... although it does mean you incapacitated him... which is how you were able then to perform a sex act on him that he didn't want to do. Making light of it as evidence of how good condoms doesn't really make it any better imo

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"For the record though, one of my current partners also couldn't tell I was wearing a female condom. He was blindfolded and tied down, and thought we'd bad bareback sex (which made him unhappy).

That sounds a bit crappy. Sorry to say but it sounds a bit like rape... although obviously afterwards he realised it wasn't...

Blindfolding and tying a partner up during consensual sex is rape now?

Really?

I think it's the part where he thought you'd barebacked without his consent which then caused him distress that they are referring to.

Well, quite. But it serves to illustrate how good condoms are and how some blokes talk shit about them..."

But a male condom and a female condom are different. They look different, they fit differently etc I can't see how they are comparable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The risk with oral is much lower .

plus oral with condom and dams negates the

pleasure so it's a risk worth taking for us .

I agree its a pleasure killer but the risk of hepatitis is much higher than other sexual acts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oral with a condom....yuck....no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the record though, one of my current partners also couldn't tell I was wearing a female condom. He was blindfolded and tied down, and thought we'd bad bareback sex (which made him unhappy).

That sounds a bit crappy. Sorry to say but it sounds a bit like rape... although obviously afterwards he realised it wasn't...

Blindfolding and tying a partner up during consensual sex is rape now?

Really?

I think it's the part where he thought you'd barebacked without his consent which then caused him distress that they are referring to.

Well, quite. But it serves to illustrate how good condoms are and how some blokes talk shit about them...

Just to clarify... my definition of rape is when someone is made to do a sex act they definitely don't want to do. In particular...

Man forces woman to have penetrative sex with him against her wishes

Woman forces man to have bareback sex with her so that she can get pregnant against his wishes

I'm sterile.

My partner knows this.

He did not at any point believe I was trying to 'rape' him. He just felt I had been careless. He then realised I wasn't careless and it was all fine.

I'd really appreciate an apology for you suggesting I might have raped the person that I care about most I the world. Thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For the record though, one of my current partners also couldn't tell I was wearing a female condom. He was blindfolded and tied down, and thought we'd bad bareback sex (which made him unhappy).

That sounds a bit crappy. Sorry to say but it sounds a bit like rape... although obviously afterwards he realised it wasn't...

Blindfolding and tying a partner up during consensual sex is rape now?

Really?

I think it's the part where he thought you'd barebacked without his consent which then caused him distress that they are referring to.

Well, quite. But it serves to illustrate how good condoms are and how some blokes talk shit about them...

But a male condom and a female condom are different. They look different, they fit differently etc I can't see how they are comparable. "

My point was in response to a gentleman stating that everyone knows bareback sex is more pleasurable. I was pointing out that actually that's not always the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sterile.

My partner knows this.

He did not at any point believe I was trying to 'rape' him. He just felt I had been careless. He then realised I wasn't careless and it was all fine.

I'd really appreciate an apology for you suggesting I might have raped the person that I care about most I the world. Thanks."

Not gonna happen. For a start... I never accused you of rape but said it sounded close... which it does. You wrote what you wrote. It sounded rape-like and I explained how that was. Now you've added some more details... which don't add up imo. Why would your partner think you were being careless and be upset about it if he knew you were sterile?

The simple fact is... as you described when you first mentioned it... you had sex with your partner in a way he didn't want, and without his full compliance, which upset him and, whilst that may not be rape per se, it certainly sounded pretty nasty and rape-like. All it would've took is for you to tell him you were wearing a condom.

Transparency and communication in the act of sex are VITAL. Women get rightfully freaked out when guys wearing condoms do it doggy style but secretly slip their condoms off in between. You didn't do this... but your guy thought you had. Perhaps this is just a sub/dom humiliation gone wrong thing that's flying over my head here?

Not one of your proudest moments I'd say... so I wouldn't bother trying to defend it. I reserve the right to consider it borderline rape and to not send the message out to Fabbers that such things are OK in the world of swinging... they're not. That doesn't mean I've formulated all sorts of terrible judgments about you... we all make mistakes. We just have to own them and try and make up for them when we get the chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sterile.

My partner knows this.

He did not at any point believe I was trying to 'rape' him. He just felt I had been careless. He then realised I wasn't careless and it was all fine.

I'd really appreciate an apology for you suggesting I might have raped the person that I care about most I the world. Thanks.

Yes, in actual fact it is a sub/dom thing. He is my slave and we like to play headfuck games. We enjoy consensual non-consent as a large part of our (well-established) relationship.

Why didn't I tell him that I was wearing a female condom? Because over the years men have consistently assured me that they are horrid things that feel like plastic bags. And that sex was deeply unpleasant with them on. In actual fact this was the reason I wore it, to spoil his enjoyment. Turns out that actually all those men were talking shit and that female condoms feel really good. So good, in fact, that he thought I wasn't wearing one and was concerned that I had broken our trust agreement to always perform protected sex.

I didn't know until afterwards he was upset. But it really does make my point very clear - it is not a universal fact that all sex without protection feels better.

Nothing went 'wrong' as you put it above. It was a humiliation scene - that ended up with a slightly different type of humiliation than the one that was planned.

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