FabSwingers.com forum: Your strategy for the drop/back to reality after great sex?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After great sex, I often find the drop in endorphins or even just going back to reality can be difficult sometimes. I am not necessarily meaning sub drop but just the post a great meet, back to normal syndrome.

What strategies do you have, if any?

I tend to treat myself to my favourite things. Something like a lovely hot bubble bath with a glass of red wine. And recall - with the fun of mental images and a smile, the fun time I had.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only quite recently found out this existed. I thought it was just me. I think it was crystal that mentioned it on a thread.

I used to struggle with it, not knowing what was wrong. I don't have a strategy. I'm just glad I know it exists and will happen. I'm ready for it and know it will pass.

Great thread OP. Hope it helps other people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *xoticloverMan
over a year ago

newcastle

"After great sex, I often find the drop in endorphins or even just going back to reality can be difficult sometimes. I am not necessarily meaning sub drop but just the post a great meet, back to normal syndrome.

What strategies do you have, if any?

I tend to treat myself to my favourite things. Something like a lovely hot bubble bath with a glass of red wine. And recall - with the fun of mental images and a smile, the fun time I had.

Its different for a man and woman, i prefer a glass of wine and then sleep.. Thats the best sleep i can get

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find this really tough sometimes especially since there are a lot of feelings for person I have the great sex with. Every guard I have comes down with him. I've no strategy I just tend to focus on the notion it's never the last time and try not to fixate on where he is and what he's doing when he leaves me. Sadly after 10 years of being the other woman its ammost impossible to not think this way. I think it's an exclusively female affliction thoughI've never known any men who go through this.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Because I only really get to meet a couple of times a year and that's usually accompanied by a big event like a huge social it's awful.. There's weeks and months of planning and chatting about the party, outfits, guests plus chat with the person im meeting about what we are going to get up to, then the sat/sun morning.. By Monday im miserable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I just avoid great sex. Mediocre sex doesn't those pitfalls

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just avoid great sex. Mediocre sex doesn't those pitfalls

I like your thinking !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I only quite recently found out this existed. I thought it was just me. I think it was crystal that mentioned it on a thread.

I used to struggle with it, not knowing what was wrong. I don't have a strategy. I'm just glad I know it exists and will happen. I'm ready for it and know it will pass.

Great thread OP. Hope it helps other people.

Yes, the key thing is that it will pass. Plus you end up with some great memories for the memory bank.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its different for a man and woman, i prefer a glass of wine and then sleep.. Thats the best sleep i can get

I know what you mean though, it is a satisfied sleep, if that makes sense!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I find this really tough sometimes especially since there are a lot of feelings for person I have the great sex with. Every guard I have comes down with him. I've no strategy I just tend to focus on the notion it's never the last time and try not to fixate on where he is and what he's doing when he leaves me. Sadly after 10 years of being the other woman its ammost impossible to not think this way. I think it's an exclusively female affliction thoughI've never known any men who go through this. "

Interesting point, I imagine there must be men, that have been - the other man, so to speak.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because I only really get to meet a couple of times a year and that's usually accompanied by a big event like a huge social it's awful.. There's weeks and months of planning and chatting about the party, outfits, guests plus chat with the person im meeting about what we are going to get up to, then the sat/sun morning.. By Monday im miserable. "

Hopefully it won't be too long Hottie before you get to go to another big social.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

This is exactly how I feel too. I tend to watch DVDs or read a good book the next day then, after a couple of days. start plotting the next meet

. I do try and make sure I have lots of things planned - I don't want to be THAT woman, sitting at home mooning.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just avoid great sex. Mediocre sex doesn't those pitfalls

Fantastic idea!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ll-Knight-longMan
over a year ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)

Avoid great sex and save it up for explosive earth shattering sex....oooops was that what caused the earthquake

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

V here.

I love the transition from the hedonism to the normal. Keeps me giggling to myself for days. So for Adam and I both, we can have a great afternoon at a club with others and nip home, collect kids, feed them, go to school events etc etc. I try to keep the "fab" feeling for as long as I can and keep the high going.

Never experienced the drop as you describe it, but do sleep well after

V xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *o_added_sugarWoman
over a year ago

A club not so many miles away

I don't experience the drop as you've explained but I do know when I'm ready for another 'fix' it is definitely very addictive and I try and feed my addiction once a week. I've tried other methods when I've been unable to be on the scene but nothing comes close to the 'high' that you get from it. Regular meets is what keeps me going

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Later on that evening or even the next day I am still quite high on the excitement so rather than a drop I experience a little thrill of "Wow did I really just do that - wonder what I am capable of next?"....and after 2-3days I get a strong urge to start planning another encounter - if my plans are slow to come to fruition then I get a drop and start feeling rejected, dejected and frustrated. Luckily, that hasn't happened too often yet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I quite often like to be on my own after a good fuck.

The worst one required 2 large vodkas and a valium. That was a mind-blowing 4sum - I woke up with a smile on my face for three days after that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I quite often like to be on my own after a good fuck.

The worst one required 2 large vodkas and a valium. That was a mind-blowing 4sum - I woke up with a smile on my face for three days after that. "

Sounds like it was well worth it !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"V here.

Never experienced the drop as you describe it, but do sleep well after

V xxx

I get what you mean about the transition . You can be back in normal world and your mind is still thinking about your secret world.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

Knowing about 'The Drop' is the best way to deal with it in my opinion, so thanks OP for the post, as it may help a few new readers!!

I have known about it for years, but only really experienced it about 2 months ago. Luckily, a regular playmate was involved, so we were both at hand to text eachother and help both of us for the couple of days dropping.

I also found my xbox helped.. shooting stuff in the face was a nice distraction and got my brain thinking about something completely different for the couple of days it took the 'comedown' to wear off and ease me back into reality

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

I have never heard of this!

This one is an education....

I mean, why not, I suppose it's possible with any activity?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Nice post OP.

Lucky for me, I just change back to my male half appearance and routine; and everything about fabs is forgotten.

I guess it's because I have 2 separate identities for normal and fabs life.

Maybe having an alternate identity (dominatrix, a blonde if you're dark haired, or change the way you do your make up etc) for fabs helps?

Just an opinion.

** I hope it's not a Multiple Personality Disorder though..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven't experienced the drop yet I always have the opposite feelings. The thrill of reliving the meet and playing back in your mind the events always gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that lasts until the next time fortunately.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm normally to knackered to give a shit, think if I got down after every meet, if stop meeting, I normally feel very relaxed, very privileged and a bit smug, and it lasts till the next time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Yep I've had that today, doesn't happen all the time but it's murder when it does

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/06/15 20:17:07]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post has been so helpful for me.

If nothing else it's good to know it's not just me that feels a crash afterwards

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yep I've had that today, doesn't happen all the time but it's murder when it does

I hope you feel better today. x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This post has been so helpful for me.

If nothing else it's good to know it's not just me that feels a crash afterwards "

I think it's good to know that you are not alone, in feeling like that sometimes. x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nice post OP.

Lucky for me, I just change back to my male half appearance and routine; and everything about fabs is forgotten.

I guess it's because I have 2 separate identities for normal and fabs life.

Maybe having an alternate identity (dominatrix, a blonde if you're dark haired, or change the way you do your make up etc) for fabs helps?

Just an opinion.

** I hope it's not a Multiple Personality Disorder though..

I think it's a good strategy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so glad it's not just me who feels this. I wish I had some words of wisdom or inspiration to offer. All I know is that it does pass xc

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

[Removed by poster at 07/06/15 09:32:31]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"think if I got down after every meet, if stop meeting."

As _ustcutie stated, it doesn't happen every time, else I'd probably stop meeting too. It does tend to be the more earth shattering meets that makes me feel a bit lost afterwards.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally get where your coming from lovely..I tend to indulge in the moment in my head ,I've been known to go back to bed and hug the pillow where's he's been , smell his aftershave and recall the debauchery with a smile and a throbbing vagina. The next day I'm still high , the messages don't help me down from the high either and then we plan our next exploration. Only happens with the one guy because I've known him long enough to let the barriers down and he knows me probably better than I know myself.

Hoping to find a few more who can get me this high thru sex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Immediately afterwards, I need a cuddle and a giggle with the person. Sometimes crisps.

After that, I usually need a lot of sleep and just general relaxation, which doesn't always happen unfortunately!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Yep I've had that today, doesn't happen all the time but it's murder when it does

I hope you feel better today. x"

I do thank you, always helps when you know your going to do it all again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think being aware that it can happen helps a lot, first few times I experienced it I got mixed emotions and was concerned I was getting emotionally attached. Now it's just like I've had therapy and I look forward to the next experience

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know this explains a few times when Mr and I have had an amazing weekend and then something on a Sunday will just set us off into a bit of a spat

As sometimes we have had the best time... And I sudddntly get quite down and edgy x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After any fuck. I treat myself to a bag of haribos, the cola bottles are my fav, its like a well done job kinda thing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paracetamol. Muscles aching all over today.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What strategies do you have, if any?

I tend to treat myself to my favourite things. Something like a lovely hot bubble bath with a glass of red wine. And recall - with the fun of mental images and a smile, the fun time I had.

This is exactly what I do. Bath running right now (ahem)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just smile for days

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it must be the same feeling as after any adrenaline rush...I feel the same after I've done a rally...takes a couple of days to "come down" but don't have a particular strategy for dealing with it..perhaps having great sex would be it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"think if I got down after every meet, if stop meeting.

As _ustcutie stated, it doesn't happen every time, else I'd probably stop meeting too. It does tend to be the more earth shattering meets that makes me feel a bit lost afterwards."

YeAh I find this too! If it happens after every meet - then you're simply not cut out for fab!!

I liken a really great meet to a 'relationship fix' - all the good things about a great relationship (great sex, good conversation, giggles and intimacy!) but none of the hassles! When all those happy hormones this creates have subsided then you're left with come-down.

Once you've accepted it for what it is though - rather than thinking you have real/strong feelings for your meet - then you can accept it for what it is and be kind to yourself!!

Big hugs to all you ladies - as it's usually ladies who get it!! Xxxxxxxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah so this is what I'm experiencing? Helpful post ... Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mean to contradict you at all but rather what I am about to write is intended to comfort or even enlighten. After a meet I would like to think that I don't have to share her the next day or day after with someone else but the reality of this site is exactly that and sadly I havn't discovered the solution for coping with that just yet. Equally, is it an issue for others about feeling awkward/regretful/shy/embarrassed or anything like that when the sex is over and arousal has vanished? Do you dress quickly in almost silence and disappear like a lightning bolt...because the connection you have of arousal is temporarily removed...or lie naked confidently talking about what just happened and still feeling aroused?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ah so this is what I'm experiencing? Helpful post ... Thank you

Not every time BTW, just recently with one incredible guy haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ingle Beds LassWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

"I think being aware that it can happen helps a lot, first few times I experienced it I got mixed emotions and was concerned I was getting emotionally attached. Now it's just like I've had therapy and I look forward to the next experience

This is me too to a large degree, but my therapy is to crawl back under my rock.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensoriaCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

I have Haribo on hand during a meet to keep sugar levels up. The lack of sugar is often what causes the drop. So some fruit and veg, washed down with water is the best thing afterwards. A cuddle or skin on skin contact the next day will also help you feel grounded.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've experienced this quite a number of times and it has almost stopped me playing completely (only almost). I find it has decreased in severity the longer we've been active and planning the next adventure is often the best way to minimise the post coital downer.

I'm glad to know it's so common. Thought I was a bit unstable

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ermaidTWoman
over a year ago

and around..fresh waters

It's awful. ..you spend ages chasing the next high so to speak. You cannot beat great sex and often I'm grumpy after as no definite that there will be a repeat performance. I often find new meets just don't live up to the expectations after great sex.

I've still not figured out what to do following it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've experienced this quite a number of times and it has almost stopped me playing completely (only almost). I find it has decreased in severity the longer we've been active and planning the next adventure is often the best way to minimise the post coital downer.

I'm glad to know it's so common. Thought I was a bit unstable

Your not the only one that's glad it's so common.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just avoid great sex. Mediocre sex doesn't those pitfalls

"
At last someone who thinks the same as me !!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *earboynottinghamMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

Something to eat or smoke is always welcome.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg I thought it was just me. So glad to hear that others experience this to. I have about 48 feeling low after a really intense meet and more so after a first one. Once it passes I'm fine and ready for more fun x. I think just knowing others suffer the same will help me deal with it xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't mean to contradict you at all but rather what I am about to write is intended to comfort or even enlighten. After a meet I would like to think that I don't have to share her the next day or day after with someone else but the reality of this site is exactly that and sadly I havn't discovered the solution for coping with that just yet. Equally, is it an issue for others about feeling awkward/regretful/shy/embarrassed or anything like that when the sex is over and arousal has vanished? Do you dress quickly in almost silence and disappear like a lightning bolt...because the connection you have of arousal is temporarily removed...or lie naked confidently talking about what just happened and still feeling aroused?"

I only meet people that I have spoken to for quite a while, so I have some kind of connection before we meet. So, yes we would lie naked chatting about all sorts of stuff.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread