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"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for: Homoflexible and heteexible. I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious." h e t e r o f l e x i b l e. Stupid, bad, website programming. | |||
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"Sorry to do this, but I want a thread I can refer back to as a quote on my thoughts. I have just posted this in one of the endless threads of this ilk, but it is near the bottom and I would like to be able to access it more easily. You dont have to comment...but if you aren't suffering from "bi fatigue", feel free to do so "If you enjoy any sexual encounter with someone of the same sex...you are bi. To what degree, or however you want to measure a sliding scale of bi-ness, is irrelevant. As is what other people think of you. The label is not a negative thing as many appear to think, it is a common noun. That is all. Why people think admitting you are Bi means you will be a raging gayer in a week confounds me. You are exactly the same person as before. If a 'Vegetarian' ate meat once a month or a year, but enjoyed it and was happy to do it again, then they would be a 'predominantly vegetarian omnivore'..but an omnivore they would be. No true vegetarian would accept this persons claims to Carni-playfulness. Admitting this doesn't mean their usual diet is made any less valid; nor will it lead to a carnivorous frenzy where the knowledge of Tofu is discarded and they will cruise Butchers shops with a blood stained mouth I also have to ask, why do women find it easy to embrace their bi-ness whilst men seem to find any variation on a theme, to water down their like of sausage? Why does the occasional dalliance by a man (with a man), need a million threads to debate the scale of their activity and then find a word that can blur the idea that they like cock, whilst the female of the couple wears their love of what lies beneath a vejazzle as a badge of honour? Social acceptability is the only thing I can think of. If it became all the rage to be bi, would more men admit to being flexible in the sexuality of their bed/car/toilet mates? Of course they would. Also, and please can someone explain this, how on earth does sucking a guys cock/being sucked mean you are not into kissing men? I mean, to do it properly you or he must be kissing a cock. That is kissing a man isn't it? I kiss my best mate on the cheek. We love each other and I am comfortable with that. Some people do wonder when they see us meet, although less so now. You can see it in their eyes. But I feel no need to explain we have been friends for 40 yrs....its no one's business. But I could never touch a guy's cock in a sexual way. I played rugby and have touched other guys cocks as part of forfeits. I once drank a pint that had the guy next to me's balls dangled in them for a minute before hand. We all did it in big daisey chain. I have been in showers and team baths with loads of guys. I have never once looked at or touched any of them and thought anything sexual. I am straight. I find it restrictive and am envious of those who can enjoy their own sex...to whatever degree, but it leaves me cold and I have no idea why. But I am not going to force myself to try it...like many men do try with women...because I know it repels me. Seeing guys kiss is an instant turn off to me. I don't think I could even do a straight MFM, which is a shame as I have contacted by quite a few couples. So, all you peeps who are lucky enough to be bi... EMBRACE IT PLEASE. Fuck what anyone else thinks...but for the clarity of knowing others sexual panorama, put it your profile. You dont have to use the "bisexual" description, but "bi-curious" must be the minimum level of description. Be true to yourself and stop hiding a perfectly acceptable part of your sexuality. Especially on here." " I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to. People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others. As long as play parameters are respected - who cares? | |||
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"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to. People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others. As long as play parameters are respected - who cares? " The problem is that on here you can't 'hide' your sexuality. There is no 'not applicable' option, so people right 'straight'. It reinforces that 'straight' is the status quo and everyone else is an outsider or 'other'. It's a bit like saying 'if you don't want to disclose your gender, just put male' or 'if you don't want to disclose your race, just put caucasian'. | |||
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"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to. People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others. As long as play parameters are respected - who cares? The problem is that on here you can't 'hide' your sexuality. There is no 'not applicable' option, so people right 'straight'. It reinforces that 'straight' is the status quo and everyone else is an outsider or 'other'. It's a bit like saying 'if you don't want to disclose your gender, just put male' or 'if you don't want to disclose your race, just put caucasian'." Straight's quite an adequate option for any orientation, as a starting point. Because when you think about it - what does straight actually mean when it comes to sex?? Straight really just means straightforward - it could apply to any sexuality, could just indicate you're not very adventurous in the sack - with whatever gender. I suppose the only advantage of having labels, is that it helps with searches. That's all really. | |||
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"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for: Homoflexible and heteexible. I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious." What about the poor biflexibles? | |||
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"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to. People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others. As long as play parameters are respected - who cares? " Sorry, but I can't let that statement slide. We both give blood so we need to know the truth, especially with the news today. If we ask a question, we expect an honest answer. We have nothing against gay or bi-sexual people, but we definitely don't like dishonesty. Mr ddc | |||
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"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for: Homoflexible and heteexible. I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious. h e t e r o f l e x i b l e. Stupid, bad, website programming." Sorry. That just made me . A | |||
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"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for: Homoflexible and heteexible. I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious. h e t e r o f l e x i b l e. Stupid, bad, website programming." I love what it did with the 'r o f l' | |||
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"Like everything in life, it's all about pigeon holing, giving everything a tag. Why does everything have to be labelled, or admitted to? People are free to do and call themselves what they wish. People just get too hung up on trying to define everything to an absolute pinpoint." That is the point though. Bi sexual is such an all-encompassing term, that it is only straight people who aren't. As such it is useless for pinpointing anything. However, I wouldn't expect a straight guy to suck my cock in the middle of a group play session. | |||
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"I thought that straight was an unfortunate side effect of 'bent' to describe homosexuality. As such it is a very exact term in that it means no homosexuality tendencies at all. " It may have began as an indication of that, but hardly applicable nowadays. I mean, who uses the word bent to describe homosexuality now? I've not actually heard it in that context since the 80s, Dialogues have evolved | |||
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"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to. People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others. As long as play parameters are respected - who cares? Sorry, but I can't let that statement slide. We both give blood so we need to know the truth, especially with the news today. If we ask a question, we expect an honest answer. We have nothing against gay or bi-sexual people, but we definitely don't like dishonesty. Mr ddc" Where did I say I like dishonesty? Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer. Set your play parameters and stick with them. | |||
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" Where did I say I like dishonesty? Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer. Set your play parameters and stick with them. " If we ask someone if they are bisexual, and they chose to 'hide' it, presumably by saying 'no', are you saying you don't think that is dishonest? | |||
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" Where did I say I like dishonesty? Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer. Set your play parameters and stick with them. If we ask someone if they are bisexual, and they chose to 'hide' it, presumably by saying 'no', are you saying you don't think that is dishonest?" What...? | |||
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" Where did I say I like dishonesty? Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer. Set your play parameters and stick with them. If we ask someone if they are bisexual, and they chose to 'hide' it, presumably by saying 'no', are you saying you don't think that is dishonest?" This is actually funny...and nothing to with the OP... | |||
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" Where did I say I like dishonesty? Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer. Set your play parameters and stick with them. If we ask someone if they are bisexual, and they chose to 'hide' it, presumably by saying 'no', are you saying you don't think that is dishonest? This is actually funny...and nothing to with the OP..." Thank you. I will take your evasion as your answer. | |||
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"I do struggle to get my head around why there is such a drama about it at times... it is not as if people are walking around Tesco's with a banner "I suck cock", it is on a site where people are looking for the best compatibility with people to maximise their sexual enjoyment. " Exactly. People should feel free to lay out the whole smorgasbord of their sexual desires here, where we are all consenting and of a similar open mindset. If not here, then where? | |||
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" Where did I say I like dishonesty? Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer. Set your play parameters and stick with them. If we ask someone if they are bisexual, and they chose to 'hide' it, presumably by saying 'no', are you saying you don't think that is dishonest? This is actually funny...and nothing to with the OP... Thank you. I will take your evasion as your answer. " You're welcome | |||
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"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for: Homoflexible and heteexible. I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious. h e t e r o f l e x i b l e. Stupid, bad, website programming." Nah...you've just got hands like cows tits! | |||
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"I thought that straight was an unfortunate side effect of 'bent' to describe homosexuality. As such it is a very exact term in that it means no homosexuality tendencies at all. It may have began as an indication of that, but hardly applicable nowadays. I mean, who uses the word bent to describe homosexuality now? I've not actually heard it in that context since the 80s, Dialogues have evolved" I do, when I'm talking to my lover. But only because I know I can get away with it. But like it or not, straight does mean heterosexual. To use it any other way is just not something most people will recognise. | |||
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"I thought that straight was an unfortunate side effect of 'bent' to describe homosexuality. As such it is a very exact term in that it means no homosexuality tendencies at all. It may have began as an indication of that, but hardly applicable nowadays. I mean, who uses the word bent to describe homosexuality now? I've not actually heard it in that context since the 80s, Dialogues have evolved" Me, I use the Term and others like it. Gimp | |||
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"I thought that straight was an unfortunate side effect of 'bent' to describe homosexuality. As such it is a very exact term in that it means no homosexuality tendencies at all. It may have began as an indication of that, but hardly applicable nowadays. I mean, who uses the word bent to describe homosexuality now? I've not actually heard it in that context since the 80s, Dialogues have evolved I do, when I'm talking to my lover. But only because I know I can get away with it. But like it or not, straight does mean heterosexual. To use it any other way is just not something most people will recognise." You said the other day - just because someone has a penis, it doesn't mean they're male. That wouldn't compute with most people either. My point is, we're free to disclose (or not) whatever we want about ourselves. A label to you - could mean something completely different to someone else. That's why they're pretty much pointless. | |||
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"Fit into a pigeon hole or be accused of been confusing? You are who you are and it's nobodies business but yours. " Really? On a swinging going website? I agree it is not everyone's business, but this is a site for you to find 'like minded' playmates. How can you do this if you do not disclose the basics of your sexual mindset? | |||
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"Be proud of who you are embrace who you are only then will you truly be happy " Your profile certainly does that and is a credit to you. | |||
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" My point is, we're free to disclose (or not) whatever we want about ourselves. A label to you - could mean something completely different to someone else. That's why they're pretty much pointless." You're talking about two different things there and missing the point somewhat. But basically it boils down to: if you don't use words that people commonly understand then nobody will understand you. If I walk up to the Tesco's employeeand say 'Can you show me where your apples are please?' they will take me to those green and red fruits that come off of English trees. Imagine how confused they would be if I pointed at the yellow citrus fruits and went 'No, that's what I wanted! Those yellow ones are apples!' they'd look at you like you were batty. If you want to call stuff by different names to everyone else that's fine. But don't be surprised when people don't understand you. If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm). | |||
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"Fit into a pigeon hole or be accused of been confusing? You are who you are and it's nobodies business but yours. Really? On a swinging going website? I agree it is not everyone's business, but this is a site for you to find 'like minded' playmates. How can you do this if you do not disclose the basics of your sexual mindset?" Because it's nobody's business but ones own. You seem to think you can define people because of things they do by your standards. You don't decide how people define themselves just because you don't get it. Sexuality is complicated and personal and not definable by labels and boxes just because you think it should be. | |||
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" My point is, we're free to disclose (or not) whatever we want about ourselves. A label to you - could mean something completely different to someone else. That's why they're pretty much pointless. You're talking about two different things there and missing the point somewhat. But basically it boils down to: if you don't use words that people commonly understand then nobody will understand you. If I walk up to the Tesco's employeeand say 'Can you show me where your apples are please?' they will take me to those green and red fruits that come off of English trees. Imagine how confused they would be if I pointed at the yellow citrus fruits and went 'No, that's what I wanted! Those yellow ones are apples!' they'd look at you like you were batty. If you want to call stuff by different names to everyone else that's fine. But don't be surprised when people don't understand you. If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm)." You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit. | |||
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"Fit into a pigeon hole or be accused of been confusing? You are who you are and it's nobodies business but yours. Really? On a swinging going website? I agree it is not everyone's business, but this is a site for you to find 'like minded' playmates. How can you do this if you do not disclose the basics of your sexual mindset? Because it's nobody's business but ones own. You seem to think you can define people because of things they do by your standards. You don't decide how people define themselves just because you don't get it. Sexuality is complicated and personal and not definable by labels and boxes just because you think it should be." | |||
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" If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm). You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit." Clearly. However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'. | |||
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" If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm). You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit. Clearly. However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'." Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards. | |||
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"Thing is with some people the bi-curious could be growing and should the label change when you think it or try it?" Should people who think they are straight call themselves straight-curious before they have sex? Gay-curious? Asexual-curious? | |||
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"Thing is with some people the bi-curious could be growing and should the label change when you think it or try it? Should people who think they are straight call themselves straight-curious before they have sex? Gay-curious? Asexual-curious?" People - can call themselves whatever they like | |||
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" If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm). You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit. Clearly. However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'. Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards. " Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no. | |||
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"Be proud of who you are embrace who you are only then will you truly be happy Your profile certainly does that and is a credit to you. " Thanks, i don't hide who iam everyone should be proud of who they are, im not everyone's cup of tea but i would never hide who i am to "fit in"..... Everyone is beautiful and is equal no matter there what there sexuality is | |||
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"I am at a loss to understand that a 'label' is so restricting. We all know roughly what a bird watcher is. I certainly don't assume they are all the same. I can't imagine they all look at all types of birds. Nor do I imagine they all look at one type of bird. Their varied choices and interests from ornithology to the very occasional 'twitcher' allows a wide description of all those that enjoy this hobby, or treat it as a science. But they all watch birds. Surely a bisexual has some sort of sex with someone of their own sex? What kind, how often and for what reason is not included in the definition. Why do people get so sensitive about this?" Labels are restrictive because because they don't allow for fluidity. A bird watcher is unlikely to decide they never want to watch another bird again for as long as they live I could change my orientation to full-on bi but then in a few months decide I never want to go near a woman sexually again, ever. If I were to change my orientation back to straight or bi curious - how duplicitous would that look? Sexuality is enormously complex | |||
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" If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm). You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit. Clearly. However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'. Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards. Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no." In their minds they're straight. So they state they're straight. You'll believe they are, because that's what it says on their profile. See? Labels prove nothing. | |||
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" If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm). You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit. Clearly. However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'. Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards. Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no. In their minds they're straight. So they state they're straight. You'll believe they are, because that's what it says on their profile. See? Labels prove nothing. " Don't quite understand that....I am straight, it says straight on our profile, there is no "but"....if someone has a "but" then they aren't straight....I know people are complex but for the purposes of this site surely this isn't difficult...either that or I'm missing something here?? | |||
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" If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm). You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit. Clearly. However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'. Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards. Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no. In their minds they're straight. So they state they're straight. You'll believe they are, because that's what it says on their profile. See? Labels prove nothing. Don't quite understand that....I am straight, it says straight on our profile, there is no "but"....if someone has a "but" then they aren't straight....I know people are complex but for the purposes of this site surely this isn't difficult...either that or I'm missing something here??" Yes you're missing the point - there is no "but" option on profiles...clearly we're talking about a face to face, verbal encounter | |||
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" If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm). You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit. Clearly. However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'. Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards. Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no. In their minds they're straight. So they state they're straight. You'll believe they are, because that's what it says on their profile. See? Labels prove nothing. Don't quite understand that....I am straight, it says straight on our profile, there is no "but"....if someone has a "but" then they aren't straight....I know people are complex but for the purposes of this site surely this isn't difficult...either that or I'm missing something here?? Yes you're missing the point - there is no "but" option on profiles...clearly we're talking about a face to face, verbal encounter " ok, I guess I must be in the minority then...if I had a face to face verbal encounter I would say Im straight...and mean it...I guess that makes my life simple...which suits me just fine. | |||
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" If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm). You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit. Clearly. However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'. Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards. Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no. In their minds they're straight. So they state they're straight. You'll believe they are, because that's what it says on their profile. See? Labels prove nothing. Don't quite understand that....I am straight, it says straight on our profile, there is no "but"....if someone has a "but" then they aren't straight....I know people are complex but for the purposes of this site surely this isn't difficult...either that or I'm missing something here?? Yes you're missing the point - there is no "but" option on profiles...clearly we're talking about a face to face, verbal encounter ok, I guess I must be in the minority then...if I had a face to face verbal encounter I would say Im straight...and mean it...I guess that makes my life simple...which suits me just fine." Yes, and with some men there would be a "but" after. And their lives are simple too, no more complicated than yours. | |||
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"I am at a loss to understand that a 'label' is so restricting. We all know roughly what a bird watcher is. I certainly don't assume they are all the same. I can't imagine they all look at all types of birds. Nor do I imagine they all look at one type of bird. Their varied choices and interests from ornithology to the very occasional 'twitcher' allows a wide description of all those that enjoy this hobby, or treat it as a science. But they all watch birds. Surely a bisexual has some sort of sex with someone of their own sex? What kind, how often and for what reason is not included in the definition. Why do people get so sensitive about this? Labels are restrictive because because they don't allow for fluidity. A bird watcher is unlikely to decide they never want to watch another bird again for as long as they live I could change my orientation to full-on bi but then in a few months decide I never want to go near a woman sexually again, ever. If I were to change my orientation back to straight or bi curious - how duplicitous would that look? Sexuality is enormously complex " I beg to differ. That would look totally honest and also always accurate. Well, straight would. You couldn't argue curious as you would have done extensive research and reached a conclusion at the time | |||
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"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to. People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others. As long as play parameters are respected - who cares? Sorry, but I can't let that statement slide. We both give blood so we need to know the truth, especially with the news today. If we ask a question, we expect an honest answer. We have nothing against gay or bi-sexual people, but we definitely don't like dishonesty. Mr ddc" I am bisexual but I ain't gonna tell you whether you like it or not; okey dokey; what you goin' to do? Have me arrested? | |||
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"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to. People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others. As long as play parameters are respected - who cares? Sorry, but I can't let that statement slide. We both give blood so we need to know the truth, especially with the news today. If we ask a question, we expect an honest answer. We have nothing against gay or bi-sexual people, but we definitely don't like dishonesty. Mr ddc I am bisexual but I ain't gonna tell you whether you like it or not; okey dokey; what you goin' to do? Have me arrested? " | |||
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"I If we ask a question, we expect an honest answer. We have nothing against gay or bi-sexual people, but we definitely don't like dishonesty. Mr ddc I am bisexual but I ain't gonna tell you whether you like it or not; okey dokey; what you goin' to do? Have me arrested? " I suspect Mrs ddc would be able to tell, you women are clever like that But just in case, we do have handcuffs... | |||
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"The serious point is simply we are not ready for penetrative sex with a bisexual male. That doesn't mean we might not do anything, just that that is currently one of our particular 'play boundaries'. Therefore, when someone says it's okay to lie about their sexuality in order to 'get around' our boundaries, I'm sorry if I come across a bit or It does however raise the issue of 'Conditional Consent' though..." I hope this isn't aimed at us - we had a brief PM message exchange with you around a year ago, messages of a purely friendly nature - we never asked you to play and vice versa. I didn't even remember talking to you until checking your profile after your outburst yesterday Trust me - nobody is so special that we'd try to get around boundaries. We've more than enough meets and offers | |||
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" I hope this isn't aimed at us - we had a brief PM message exchange with you around a year ago, messages of a purely friendly nature - we never asked you to play and vice versa. I didn't even remember talking to you until checking your profile after your outburst ryesterday Trust me - nobody is so special that we'd try to get around boundaries. We've more than enough meets and offers" Certainly not at you personally, (I am not aware that Marcus has EVER hidden his sexuality) though perhaps at your original comment yesterday. We are relatively laid-back about some things, but slightly neurotic about others. I am fully aware that it is not possible to catch ghey just by meeting for drinks (so long as we dont inadvertently sit on the same bench, obviously), but somehow I doubt either of us would click. | |||
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"Attention seeker" Pretty positive now! | |||
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" I hope this isn't aimed at us - we had a brief PM message exchange with you around a year ago, messages of a purely friendly nature - we never asked you to play and vice versa. I didn't even remember talking to you until checking your profile after your outburst ryesterday Trust me - nobody is so special that we'd try to get around boundaries. We've more than enough meets and offers Certainly not at you personally, (I am not aware that Marcus has EVER hidden his sexuality) though perhaps at your original comment yesterday. We are relatively laid-back about some things, but slightly neurotic about others. I am fully aware that it is not possible to catch ghey just by meeting for drinks (so long as we dont inadvertently sit on the same bench, obviously), but somehow I doubt either of us would click. " I know for definite we wouldn't. | |||
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"Sorry to do this, but I want a thread I can refer back to as a quote on my thoughts. I have just posted this in one of the endless threads of this ilk, but it is near the bottom and I would like to be able to access it more easily. You dont have to comment...but if you aren't suffering from "bi fatigue", feel free to do so "If you enjoy any sexual encounter with someone of the same sex...you are bi. To what degree, or however you want to measure a sliding scale of bi-ness, is irrelevant. As is what other people think of you. The label is not a negative thing as many appear to think, it is a common noun. That is all. Why people think admitting you are Bi means you will be a raging gayer in a week confounds me. You are exactly the same person as before. If a 'Vegetarian' ate meat once a month or a year, but enjoyed it and was happy to do it again, then they would be a 'predominantly vegetarian omnivore'..but an omnivore they would be. No true vegetarian would accept this persons claims to Carni-playfulness. Admitting this doesn't mean their usual diet is made any less valid; nor will it lead to a carnivorous frenzy where the knowledge of Tofu is discarded and they will cruise Butchers shops with a blood stained mouth I also have to ask, why do women find it easy to embrace their bi-ness whilst men seem to find any variation on a theme, to water down their like of sausage? Why does the occasional dalliance by a man (with a man), need a million threads to debate the scale of their activity and then find a word that can blur the idea that they like cock, whilst the female of the couple wears their love of what lies beneath a vejazzle as a badge of honour? Social acceptability is the only thing I can think of. If it became all the rage to be bi, would more men admit to being flexible in the sexuality of their bed/car/toilet mates? Of course they would. Also, and please can someone explain this, how on earth does sucking a guys cock/being sucked mean you are not into kissing men? I mean, to do it properly you or he must be kissing a cock. That is kissing a man isn't it? I kiss my best mate on the cheek. We love each other and I am comfortable with that. Some people do wonder when they see us meet, although less so now. You can see it in their eyes. But I feel no need to explain we have been friends for 40 yrs....its no one's business. But I could never touch a guy's cock in a sexual way. I played rugby and have touched other guys cocks as part of forfeits. I once drank a pint that had the guy next to me's balls dangled in them for a minute before hand. We all did it in big daisey chain. I have been in showers and team baths with loads of guys. I have never once looked at or touched any of them and thought anything sexual. I am straight. I find it restrictive and am envious of those who can enjoy their own sex...to whatever degree, but it leaves me cold and I have no idea why. But I am not going to force myself to try it...like many men do try with women...because I know it repels me. Seeing guys kiss is an instant turn off to me. I don't think I could even do a straight MFM, which is a shame as I have contacted by quite a few couples. So, all you peeps who are lucky enough to be bi... EMBRACE IT PLEASE. Fuck what anyone else thinks...but for the clarity of knowing others sexual panorama, put it your profile. You dont have to use the "bisexual" description, but "bi-curious" must be the minimum level of description. Be true to yourself and stop hiding a perfectly acceptable part of your sexuality. Especially on here." I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to. People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others. As long as play parameters are respected - who cares? " | |||
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" I hope this isn't aimed at us - we had a brief PM message exchange with you around a year ago, messages of a purely friendly nature - we never asked you to play and vice versa. I didn't even remember talking to you until checking your profile after your outburst ryesterday Trust me - nobody is so special that we'd try to get around boundaries. We've more than enough meets and offers Certainly not at you personally, (I am not aware that Marcus has EVER hidden his sexuality) though perhaps at your original comment yesterday. We are relatively laid-back about some things, but slightly neurotic about others. I am fully aware that it is not possible to catch ghey just by meeting for drinks (so long as we dont inadvertently sit on the same bench, obviously), but somehow I doubt either of us would click. " Marcus doesn't use the forums, so don't bring him in to anything. Thanks | |||
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"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for: Homoflexible and heteexible. I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious. h e t e r o f l e x i b l e. Stupid, bad, website programming." That's exactly the term I used, and I've a feeling I pinched it from the same fetish website. Made much more sense to me and felt like it fit far more than 'bisexual' and especially 'bi-curious,' which never ever made much sense to me. | |||
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"Another thread about labels.Just enjoy x" Amen...ummm..ummm...I concur. I suppose I'm a carbon based life form, but what does that mean? A label? So much of our action depends on or is the result of context. In June I was in Sicily watching a male policeman be approached by a female policeman/policewoman. With wide smiles they embraced and kissed each other on the cheek. Then a male policeman approached the two and kissed both of them with full embrace. Society, religion, and other confining forces create context. An imagined or learned or enforced or natural context. For some people it takes a lifetime to unwrap these confining layers of imagined or enforced context so they can be who they are. Some people need these frameworks or social norms or never feel a need to ignore them. Labels are only labels. Life is Wicked Good ~ LOVE ~ | |||
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"If I was forced to have a label on me it would be Heinz baked beans " I'd label you "Shugga" instead of baked beans. | |||
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