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Yet Another Thread on Bisexuality

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By *o new Winks OP   Man
over a year ago

BSE

Sorry to do this, but I want a thread I can refer back to as a quote on my thoughts. I have just posted this in one of the endless threads of this ilk, but it is near the bottom and I would like to be able to access it more easily.

You dont have to comment...but if you aren't suffering from "bi fatigue", feel free to do so

"If you enjoy any sexual encounter with someone of the same sex...you are bi.

To what degree, or however you want to measure a sliding scale of bi-ness, is irrelevant. As is what other people think of you. The label is not a negative thing as many appear to think, it is a common noun. That is all.

Why people think admitting you are Bi means you will be a raging gayer in a week confounds me. You are exactly the same person as before.

If a 'Vegetarian' ate meat once a month or a year, but enjoyed it and was happy to do it again, then they would be a 'predominantly vegetarian omnivore'..but an omnivore they would be. No true vegetarian would accept this persons claims to Carni-playfulness.

Admitting this doesn't mean their usual diet is made any less valid; nor will it lead to a carnivorous frenzy where the knowledge of Tofu is discarded and they will cruise Butchers shops with a blood stained mouth

I also have to ask, why do women find it easy to embrace their bi-ness whilst men seem to find any variation on a theme, to water down their like of sausage?

Why does the occasional dalliance by a man (with a man), need a million threads to debate the scale of their activity and then find a word that can blur the idea that they like cock, whilst the female of the couple wears their love of what lies beneath a vejazzle as a badge of honour?

Social acceptability is the only thing I can think of. If it became all the rage to be bi, would more men admit to being flexible in the sexuality of their bed/car/toilet mates? Of course they would.

Also, and please can someone explain this, how on earth does sucking a guys cock/being sucked mean you are not into kissing men?

I mean, to do it properly you or he must be kissing a cock. That is kissing a man isn't it?

I kiss my best mate on the cheek. We love each other and I am comfortable with that. Some people do wonder when they see us meet, although less so now. You can see it in their eyes. But I feel no need to explain we have been friends for 40 yrs....its no one's business.

But I could never touch a guy's cock in a sexual way. I played rugby and have touched other guys cocks as part of forfeits. I once drank a pint that had the guy next to me's balls dangled in them for a minute before hand. We all did it in big daisey chain. I have been in showers and team baths with loads of guys. I have never once looked at or touched any of them and thought anything sexual.

I am straight. I find it restrictive and am envious of those who can enjoy their own sex...to whatever degree, but it leaves me cold and I have no idea why. But I am not going to force myself to try it...like many men do try with women...because I know it repels me. Seeing guys kiss is an instant turn off to me. I don't think I could even do a straight MFM, which is a shame as I have contacted by quite a few couples.

So, all you peeps who are lucky enough to be bi... EMBRACE IT PLEASE.

Fuck what anyone else thinks...but for the clarity of knowing others sexual panorama, put it your profile. You dont have to use the "bisexual" description, but "bi-curious" must be the minimum level of description. Be true to yourself and stop hiding a perfectly acceptable part of your sexuality. Especially on here."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for:

Homoflexible and heteexible.

I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for:

Homoflexible and heteexible.

I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious."

h e t e r o f l e x i b l e.

Stupid, bad, website programming.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry to do this, but I want a thread I can refer back to as a quote on my thoughts. I have just posted this in one of the endless threads of this ilk, but it is near the bottom and I would like to be able to access it more easily.

You dont have to comment...but if you aren't suffering from "bi fatigue", feel free to do so

"If you enjoy any sexual encounter with someone of the same sex...you are bi.

To what degree, or however you want to measure a sliding scale of bi-ness, is irrelevant. As is what other people think of you. The label is not a negative thing as many appear to think, it is a common noun. That is all.

Why people think admitting you are Bi means you will be a raging gayer in a week confounds me. You are exactly the same person as before.

If a 'Vegetarian' ate meat once a month or a year, but enjoyed it and was happy to do it again, then they would be a 'predominantly vegetarian omnivore'..but an omnivore they would be. No true vegetarian would accept this persons claims to Carni-playfulness.

Admitting this doesn't mean their usual diet is made any less valid; nor will it lead to a carnivorous frenzy where the knowledge of Tofu is discarded and they will cruise Butchers shops with a blood stained mouth

I also have to ask, why do women find it easy to embrace their bi-ness whilst men seem to find any variation on a theme, to water down their like of sausage?

Why does the occasional dalliance by a man (with a man), need a million threads to debate the scale of their activity and then find a word that can blur the idea that they like cock, whilst the female of the couple wears their love of what lies beneath a vejazzle as a badge of honour?

Social acceptability is the only thing I can think of. If it became all the rage to be bi, would more men admit to being flexible in the sexuality of their bed/car/toilet mates? Of course they would.

Also, and please can someone explain this, how on earth does sucking a guys cock/being sucked mean you are not into kissing men?

I mean, to do it properly you or he must be kissing a cock. That is kissing a man isn't it?

I kiss my best mate on the cheek. We love each other and I am comfortable with that. Some people do wonder when they see us meet, although less so now. You can see it in their eyes. But I feel no need to explain we have been friends for 40 yrs....its no one's business.

But I could never touch a guy's cock in a sexual way. I played rugby and have touched other guys cocks as part of forfeits. I once drank a pint that had the guy next to me's balls dangled in them for a minute before hand. We all did it in big daisey chain. I have been in showers and team baths with loads of guys. I have never once looked at or touched any of them and thought anything sexual.

I am straight. I find it restrictive and am envious of those who can enjoy their own sex...to whatever degree, but it leaves me cold and I have no idea why. But I am not going to force myself to try it...like many men do try with women...because I know it repels me. Seeing guys kiss is an instant turn off to me. I don't think I could even do a straight MFM, which is a shame as I have contacted by quite a few couples.

So, all you peeps who are lucky enough to be bi... EMBRACE IT PLEASE.

Fuck what anyone else thinks...but for the clarity of knowing others sexual panorama, put it your profile. You dont have to use the "bisexual" description, but "bi-curious" must be the minimum level of description. Be true to yourself and stop hiding a perfectly acceptable part of your sexuality. Especially on here."

"

I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to.

People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others.

As long as play parameters are respected - who cares?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like everything in life, it's all about pigeon holing, giving everything a tag. Why does everything have to be labelled, or admitted to? People are free to do and call themselves what they wish. People just get too hung up on trying to define everything to an absolute pinpoint.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to.

People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others.

As long as play parameters are respected - who cares?

"

The problem is that on here you can't 'hide' your sexuality. There is no 'not applicable' option, so people right 'straight'.

It reinforces that 'straight' is the status quo and everyone else is an outsider or 'other'.

It's a bit like saying 'if you don't want to disclose your gender, just put male' or 'if you don't want to disclose your race, just put caucasian'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to.

People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others.

As long as play parameters are respected - who cares?

The problem is that on here you can't 'hide' your sexuality. There is no 'not applicable' option, so people right 'straight'.

It reinforces that 'straight' is the status quo and everyone else is an outsider or 'other'.

It's a bit like saying 'if you don't want to disclose your gender, just put male' or 'if you don't want to disclose your race, just put caucasian'."

Straight's quite an adequate option for any orientation, as a starting point. Because when you think about it - what does straight actually mean when it comes to sex?? Straight really just means straightforward - it could apply to any sexuality, could just indicate you're not very adventurous in the sack - with whatever gender.

I suppose the only advantage of having labels, is that it helps with searches. That's all really.

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for:

Homoflexible and heteexible.

I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious."

What about the poor biflexibles?

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By *o new Winks OP   Man
over a year ago

BSE

I thought that straight was an unfortunate side effect of 'bent' to describe homosexuality.

As such it is a very exact term in that it means no homosexuality tendencies at all.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to.

People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others.

As long as play parameters are respected - who cares? "

Sorry, but I can't let that statement slide.

We both give blood so we need to know the truth, especially with the news today.

If we ask a question, we expect an honest answer. We have nothing against gay or bi-sexual people, but we definitely don't like dishonesty.

Mr ddc

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for:

Homoflexible and heteexible.

I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious.

h e t e r o f l e x i b l e.

Stupid, bad, website programming."

Sorry.

That just made me .

A

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire


"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for:

Homoflexible and heteexible.

I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious.

h e t e r o f l e x i b l e.

Stupid, bad, website programming."

I love what it did with the 'r o f l'

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By *o new Winks OP   Man
over a year ago

BSE


"Like everything in life, it's all about pigeon holing, giving everything a tag. Why does everything have to be labelled, or admitted to? People are free to do and call themselves what they wish. People just get too hung up on trying to define everything to an absolute pinpoint."

That is the point though. Bi sexual is such an all-encompassing term, that it is only straight people who aren't.

As such it is useless for pinpointing anything. However, I wouldn't expect a straight guy to suck my cock in the middle of a group play session.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thought that straight was an unfortunate side effect of 'bent' to describe homosexuality.

As such it is a very exact term in that it means no homosexuality tendencies at all. "

It may have began as an indication of that, but hardly applicable nowadays.

I mean, who uses the word bent to describe homosexuality now? I've not actually heard it in that context since the 80s,

Dialogues have evolved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to.

People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others.

As long as play parameters are respected - who cares?

Sorry, but I can't let that statement slide.

We both give blood so we need to know the truth, especially with the news today.

If we ask a question, we expect an honest answer. We have nothing against gay or bi-sexual people, but we definitely don't like dishonesty.

Mr ddc"

Where did I say I like dishonesty?

Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer.

Set your play parameters and stick with them.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"

Where did I say I like dishonesty?

Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer.

Set your play parameters and stick with them. "

If we ask someone if they are bisexual, and they chose to 'hide' it, presumably by saying 'no', are you saying you don't think that is dishonest?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 05/06/15 08:18:18]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I do struggle to get my head around why there is such a drama about it at times... it is not as if people are walking around Tesco's with a banner "I suck cock", it is on a site where people are looking for the best compatibility with people to maximise their sexual enjoyment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Where did I say I like dishonesty?

Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer.

Set your play parameters and stick with them.

If we ask someone if they are bisexual, and they chose to 'hide' it, presumably by saying 'no', are you saying you don't think that is dishonest?"

What...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Where did I say I like dishonesty?

Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer.

Set your play parameters and stick with them.

If we ask someone if they are bisexual, and they chose to 'hide' it, presumably by saying 'no', are you saying you don't think that is dishonest?"

This is actually funny...and nothing to with the OP...

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"

Where did I say I like dishonesty?

Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer.

Set your play parameters and stick with them.

If we ask someone if they are bisexual, and they chose to 'hide' it, presumably by saying 'no', are you saying you don't think that is dishonest?

This is actually funny...and nothing to with the OP..."

Thank you.

I will take your evasion as your answer.

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By *o new Winks OP   Man
over a year ago

BSE


"I do struggle to get my head around why there is such a drama about it at times... it is not as if people are walking around Tesco's with a banner "I suck cock", it is on a site where people are looking for the best compatibility with people to maximise their sexual enjoyment.

"

Exactly.

People should feel free to lay out the whole smorgasbord of their sexual desires here, where we are all consenting and of a similar open mindset.

If not here, then where?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Where did I say I like dishonesty?

Just because you ask a question - doesn't mean you'll get an honest answer.

Set your play parameters and stick with them.

If we ask someone if they are bisexual, and they chose to 'hide' it, presumably by saying 'no', are you saying you don't think that is dishonest?

This is actually funny...and nothing to with the OP...

Thank you.

I will take your evasion as your answer.

"

You're welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for:

Homoflexible and heteexible.

I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious.

h e t e r o f l e x i b l e.

Stupid, bad, website programming."

Nah...you've just got hands like cows tits!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thought that straight was an unfortunate side effect of 'bent' to describe homosexuality.

As such it is a very exact term in that it means no homosexuality tendencies at all.

It may have began as an indication of that, but hardly applicable nowadays.

I mean, who uses the word bent to describe homosexuality now? I've not actually heard it in that context since the 80s,

Dialogues have evolved"

I do, when I'm talking to my lover. But only because I know I can get away with it.

But like it or not, straight does mean heterosexual. To use it any other way is just not something most people will recognise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thought that straight was an unfortunate side effect of 'bent' to describe homosexuality.

As such it is a very exact term in that it means no homosexuality tendencies at all.

It may have began as an indication of that, but hardly applicable nowadays.

I mean, who uses the word bent to describe homosexuality now? I've not actually heard it in that context since the 80s,

Dialogues have evolved"

Me, I use the Term and others like it.

Gimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fit into a pigeon hole or be accused of been confusing?

You are who you are and it's nobodies business but yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I thought that straight was an unfortunate side effect of 'bent' to describe homosexuality.

As such it is a very exact term in that it means no homosexuality tendencies at all.

It may have began as an indication of that, but hardly applicable nowadays.

I mean, who uses the word bent to describe homosexuality now? I've not actually heard it in that context since the 80s,

Dialogues have evolved

I do, when I'm talking to my lover. But only because I know I can get away with it.

But like it or not, straight does mean heterosexual. To use it any other way is just not something most people will recognise."

You said the other day - just because someone has a penis, it doesn't mean they're male. That wouldn't compute with most people either.

My point is, we're free to disclose (or not) whatever we want about ourselves. A label to you - could mean something completely different to someone else. That's why they're pretty much pointless.

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By *o new Winks OP   Man
over a year ago

BSE


"Fit into a pigeon hole or be accused of been confusing?

You are who you are and it's nobodies business but yours. "

Really? On a swinging going website?

I agree it is not everyone's business, but this is a site for you to find 'like minded' playmates. How can you do this if you do not disclose the basics of your sexual mindset?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be proud of who you are embrace who you are only then will you truly be happy

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By *o new Winks OP   Man
over a year ago

BSE


"Be proud of who you are embrace who you are only then will you truly be happy "

Your profile certainly does that and is a credit to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

My point is, we're free to disclose (or not) whatever we want about ourselves. A label to you - could mean something completely different to someone else. That's why they're pretty much pointless."

You're talking about two different things there and missing the point somewhat.

But basically it boils down to: if you don't use words that people commonly understand then nobody will understand you.

If I walk up to the Tesco's employeeand say 'Can you show me where your apples are please?' they will take me to those green and red fruits that come off of English trees. Imagine how confused they would be if I pointed at the yellow citrus fruits and went 'No, that's what I wanted! Those yellow ones are apples!' they'd look at you like you were batty.

If you want to call stuff by different names to everyone else that's fine. But don't be surprised when people don't understand you.

If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fit into a pigeon hole or be accused of been confusing?

You are who you are and it's nobodies business but yours.

Really? On a swinging going website?

I agree it is not everyone's business, but this is a site for you to find 'like minded' playmates. How can you do this if you do not disclose the basics of your sexual mindset?"

Because it's nobody's business but ones own. You seem to think you can define people because of things they do by your standards. You don't decide how people define themselves just because you don't get it. Sexuality is complicated and personal and not definable by labels and boxes just because you think it should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

My point is, we're free to disclose (or not) whatever we want about ourselves. A label to you - could mean something completely different to someone else. That's why they're pretty much pointless.

You're talking about two different things there and missing the point somewhat.

But basically it boils down to: if you don't use words that people commonly understand then nobody will understand you.

If I walk up to the Tesco's employeeand say 'Can you show me where your apples are please?' they will take me to those green and red fruits that come off of English trees. Imagine how confused they would be if I pointed at the yellow citrus fruits and went 'No, that's what I wanted! Those yellow ones are apples!' they'd look at you like you were batty.

If you want to call stuff by different names to everyone else that's fine. But don't be surprised when people don't understand you.

If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm)."

You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fit into a pigeon hole or be accused of been confusing?

You are who you are and it's nobodies business but yours.

Really? On a swinging going website?

I agree it is not everyone's business, but this is a site for you to find 'like minded' playmates. How can you do this if you do not disclose the basics of your sexual mindset?

Because it's nobody's business but ones own. You seem to think you can define people because of things they do by your standards. You don't decide how people define themselves just because you don't get it. Sexuality is complicated and personal and not definable by labels and boxes just because you think it should be."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm).

You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit."

Clearly.

However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm).

You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit.

Clearly.

However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'."

Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thing is with some people the bi-curious could be growing and should the label change when you think it or try it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thing is with some people the bi-curious could be growing and should the label change when you think it or try it?"

Should people who think they are straight call themselves straight-curious before they have sex?

Gay-curious?

Asexual-curious?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thing is with some people the bi-curious could be growing and should the label change when you think it or try it?

Should people who think they are straight call themselves straight-curious before they have sex?

Gay-curious?

Asexual-curious?"

People - can call themselves whatever they like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us Mrs is bi but Mr is wondering what it would be like and wonder if we should try it before we buy it lol x

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By *o new Winks OP   Man
over a year ago

BSE

I am at a loss to understand that a 'label' is so restricting.

We all know roughly what a bird watcher is. I certainly don't assume they are all the same. I can't imagine they all look at all types of birds. Nor do I imagine they all look at one type of bird.

Their varied choices and interests from ornithology to the very occasional 'twitcher' allows a wide description of all those that enjoy this hobby, or treat it as a science.

But they all watch birds.

Surely a bisexual has some sort of sex with someone of their own sex?

What kind, how often and for what reason is not included in the definition.

Why do people get so sensitive about this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/06/15 09:55:43]

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"

If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm).

You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit.

Clearly.

However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'.

Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards.

"

Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Be proud of who you are embrace who you are only then will you truly be happy

Your profile certainly does that and is a credit to you. "

Thanks, i don't hide who iam everyone should be proud of who they are, im not everyone's cup of tea but i would never hide who i am to "fit in"..... Everyone is beautiful and is equal no matter there what there sexuality is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am at a loss to understand that a 'label' is so restricting.

We all know roughly what a bird watcher is. I certainly don't assume they are all the same. I can't imagine they all look at all types of birds. Nor do I imagine they all look at one type of bird.

Their varied choices and interests from ornithology to the very occasional 'twitcher' allows a wide description of all those that enjoy this hobby, or treat it as a science.

But they all watch birds.

Surely a bisexual has some sort of sex with someone of their own sex?

What kind, how often and for what reason is not included in the definition.

Why do people get so sensitive about this?"

Labels are restrictive because because they don't allow for fluidity.

A bird watcher is unlikely to decide they never want to watch another bird again for as long as they live

I could change my orientation to full-on bi but then in a few months decide I never want to go near a woman sexually again, ever.

If I were to change my orientation back to straight or bi curious - how duplicitous would that look?

Sexuality is enormously complex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm).

You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit.

Clearly.

However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'.

Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards.

Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no."

In their minds they're straight. So they state they're straight. You'll believe they are, because that's what it says on their profile. See? Labels prove nothing.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"

If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm).

You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit.

Clearly.

However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'.

Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards.

Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no. In their minds they're straight. So they state they're straight. You'll believe they are, because that's what it says on their profile. See? Labels prove nothing.

"

Don't quite understand that....I am straight, it says straight on our profile, there is no "but"....if someone has a "but" then they aren't straight....I know people are complex but for the purposes of this site surely this isn't difficult...either that or I'm missing something here??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm).

You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit.

Clearly.

However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'.

Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards.

Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no. In their minds they're straight. So they state they're straight. You'll believe they are, because that's what it says on their profile. See? Labels prove nothing.

Don't quite understand that....I am straight, it says straight on our profile, there is no "but"....if someone has a "but" then they aren't straight....I know people are complex but for the purposes of this site surely this isn't difficult...either that or I'm missing something here??"

Yes you're missing the point - there is no "but" option on profiles...clearly we're talking about a face to face, verbal encounter

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"

If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm).

You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit.

Clearly.

However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'.

Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards.

Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no. In their minds they're straight. So they state they're straight. You'll believe they are, because that's what it says on their profile. See? Labels prove nothing.

Don't quite understand that....I am straight, it says straight on our profile, there is no "but"....if someone has a "but" then they aren't straight....I know people are complex but for the purposes of this site surely this isn't difficult...either that or I'm missing something here??

Yes you're missing the point - there is no "but" option on profiles...clearly we're talking about a face to face, verbal encounter

"

ok, I guess I must be in the minority then...if I had a face to face verbal encounter I would say Im straight...and mean it...I guess that makes my life simple...which suits me just fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

If you tell someone you are straight, they will assume that you are *only* interested in the opposite sex (assuming bigender paradigm).

You've missed a vital point. We're discussing complex humans. Not fruit.

Clearly.

However I wonder how many men a guy would manage to have sex with if they said 'so, are you gay?' and he replied 'no mate, I'm straight'.

Actually, I suspect quite a few. Sometimes there's a 'but' afterwards.

Then they aren't straight....I think whether we like the labels or not it helps with understanding who people contact on here...surely that's all we are talking about...nothing more complex than that and avoids the "time waster" issues when people say no. In their minds they're straight. So they state they're straight. You'll believe they are, because that's what it says on their profile. See? Labels prove nothing.

Don't quite understand that....I am straight, it says straight on our profile, there is no "but"....if someone has a "but" then they aren't straight....I know people are complex but for the purposes of this site surely this isn't difficult...either that or I'm missing something here??

Yes you're missing the point - there is no "but" option on profiles...clearly we're talking about a face to face, verbal encounter

ok, I guess I must be in the minority then...if I had a face to face verbal encounter I would say Im straight...and mean it...I guess that makes my life simple...which suits me just fine."

Yes, and with some men there would be a "but" after. And their lives are simple too, no more complicated than yours.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I would refer the honorable gentleman to my previous reply to his same question and put it to the house that....oh sorry...we've had many political threads too.

I'm bisexual. It's no big deal. *looks down*....yup, definately no big deal.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

i see and feel people as beings in an earth suit...maybe i connect with their mind, their humour or maybe i feel attracted to them..

i dont jump on anyone, unless they feel the same way i do...i dont fancy all women just like i dont fancy all men

but its mainly to do with their 'personality' than their form..

ive put bi curious as a level of experience i feel i am at...

so many terms for expression and such a large spectrum of debate over labels that really try and categorize people into being separate...not really into separatism..but that's me..

different levels of expression maybe, but underneath it all we are all just atoms held together by an electromagnetic field...some people jiggle my field in a sexual way and some dont..simplez x

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

One thing I've learned since trying to find another suitable bi guy is that people are still prejudiced. I've had men tell me they now won't touch me because I've been with a bi guy,I was told they are 'minging' in his words!

I understand people have preferences,but just because I feel different doesn't make it wrong or disgusting.

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By *o new Winks OP   Man
over a year ago

BSE


"I am at a loss to understand that a 'label' is so restricting.

We all know roughly what a bird watcher is. I certainly don't assume they are all the same. I can't imagine they all look at all types of birds. Nor do I imagine they all look at one type of bird.

Their varied choices and interests from ornithology to the very occasional 'twitcher' allows a wide description of all those that enjoy this hobby, or treat it as a science.

But they all watch birds.

Surely a bisexual has some sort of sex with someone of their own sex?

What kind, how often and for what reason is not included in the definition.

Why do people get so sensitive about this?

Labels are restrictive because because they don't allow for fluidity.

A bird watcher is unlikely to decide they never want to watch another bird again for as long as they live

I could change my orientation to full-on bi but then in a few months decide I never want to go near a woman sexually again, ever.

If I were to change my orientation back to straight or bi curious - how duplicitous would that look?

Sexuality is enormously complex

"

I beg to differ. That would look totally honest and also always accurate. Well, straight would. You couldn't argue curious as you would have done extensive research and reached a conclusion at the time

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By *he horny kinkstersCouple
over a year ago

North West

Thank you for taking the time to explain your rules of bi-ness.

I am no longer curious about it...

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

It's quite a long-winded way to say 'I'm secure in my sexuality'

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By *o new Winks OP   Man
over a year ago

BSE

I don't have rules for it, the English language does.

As for my sexuality, I am secure but disappointed that I am not into both sexes. As I have explained.

The post is really about the fear many have of being called bisexual and the stigma that is attached which makes this reluctance so prevalent.

But if you want to paint it that way, fill your boots.

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By *apillonNoirWoman
over a year ago

There...

As a woman I find the whole labelling issue difficult. In certain scenarios and if I find her attractive (in the physical and personality stakes), then I will play but only if there's a man involved too - ff play only doesn't do much for me. Bisexual men that I have known over the years have often described themselves as straight on their profile for fear of turning off the ladies and couples which I find duplicitous at best and scary at worst.

For me, the only way of truly finding out about a potential playmate is face to face meetings where sexual preferences can be discussed - cyber chat is difficult to work out for me and I much prefer to meet someone to test alchemy in the flesh.

Someone's sexual preferences stated on their profile are at best only an indication and whilst they are helpful to begin with in making the decision to chat or not, they require further exploration before I would make a move towards play.

There are tens of thousands of profiles on here and whilst I admit it can be difficult to find a compatible playmate at times, give it a few weeks and a new lot turn up - usually asking the same questions in the forums incurring the wrath of the regulars!

Honesty is never going to be offered 100% on a site like this. Some will be totally honest and others will bend their profile to suit their needs. I guess the biggest difficulty is trying to work out who might be a compatible playmate but then life is like that too. To be honest I don't fret about it. If it works for them then that's fine. I just try never to get caught in their web...!

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By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to.

People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others.

As long as play parameters are respected - who cares?

Sorry, but I can't let that statement slide.

We both give blood so we need to know the truth, especially with the news today.

If we ask a question, we expect an honest answer. We have nothing against gay or bi-sexual people, but we definitely don't like dishonesty.

Mr ddc"

I am bisexual but I ain't gonna tell you whether you like it or not; okey dokey; what you goin' to do? Have me arrested?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to.

People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others.

As long as play parameters are respected - who cares?

Sorry, but I can't let that statement slide.

We both give blood so we need to know the truth, especially with the news today.

If we ask a question, we expect an honest answer. We have nothing against gay or bi-sexual people, but we definitely don't like dishonesty.

Mr ddc

I am bisexual but I ain't gonna tell you whether you like it or not; okey dokey; what you goin' to do? Have me arrested? "

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"I

If we ask a question, we expect an honest answer. We have nothing against gay or bi-sexual people, but we definitely don't like dishonesty.

Mr ddc

I am bisexual but I ain't gonna tell you whether you like it or not; okey dokey; what you goin' to do? Have me arrested? "

I suspect Mrs ddc would be able to tell, you women are clever like that

But just in case, we do have handcuffs...

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

The serious point is simply we are not ready for penetrative sex with a bisexual male. That doesn't mean we might not do anything, just that that is currently one of our particular 'play boundaries'.

Therefore, when someone says it's okay to lie about their sexuality in order to 'get around' our boundaries, I'm sorry if I come across a bit or

It does however raise the issue of 'Conditional Consent' though...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I'm Bi and there are two consequences on this site that really annoy me...

1 - people assume this means that I'm usually straight and just like an occasional gay dabble with other women - Wrong!!!

2 - people assume this means that I need a man and a woman at the same time - Wrong!!!

I am Bi - that means that I've had live-in relationships with men and with women - and I now much prefer women when it comes to love. But I do still enjoy occasional funtimes with a man...

So please people, don't come to me claiming to be Bi if all you do is play at it - I want people who know what they're doing!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The serious point is simply we are not ready for penetrative sex with a bisexual male. That doesn't mean we might not do anything, just that that is currently one of our particular 'play boundaries'.

Therefore, when someone says it's okay to lie about their sexuality in order to 'get around' our boundaries, I'm sorry if I come across a bit or

It does however raise the issue of 'Conditional Consent' though..."

I hope this isn't aimed at us - we had a brief PM message exchange with you around a year ago, messages of a purely friendly nature - we never asked you to play and vice versa. I didn't even remember talking to you until checking your profile after your outburst yesterday

Trust me - nobody is so special that we'd try to get around boundaries. We've more than enough meets and offers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Attention seeker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm (kat) just attracted to whoever stimulates my brain first wether that be man, woman or dog (joke on dog but you get my drift).

Apparently I am sapiosexual so not gay, straight or bi and I figure that must be true as some of the people I have fancied like mad have been nothing to look at but damn!! When words come out I'm hotter than a volcano for them.

Fancy who you want and don't worry x

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"

I hope this isn't aimed at us - we had a brief PM message exchange with you around a year ago, messages of a purely friendly nature - we never asked you to play and vice versa. I didn't even remember talking to you until checking your profile after your outburst ryesterday

Trust me - nobody is so special that we'd try to get around boundaries. We've more than enough meets and offers"

Certainly not at you personally, (I am not aware that Marcus has EVER hidden his sexuality) though perhaps at your original comment yesterday.

We are relatively laid-back about some things, but slightly neurotic about others.

I am fully aware that it is not possible to catch ghey just by meeting for drinks (so long as we dont inadvertently sit on the same bench, obviously), but somehow I doubt either of us would click.

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"Attention seeker"

Pretty positive now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I hope this isn't aimed at us - we had a brief PM message exchange with you around a year ago, messages of a purely friendly nature - we never asked you to play and vice versa. I didn't even remember talking to you until checking your profile after your outburst ryesterday

Trust me - nobody is so special that we'd try to get around boundaries. We've more than enough meets and offers

Certainly not at you personally, (I am not aware that Marcus has EVER hidden his sexuality) though perhaps at your original comment yesterday.

We are relatively laid-back about some things, but slightly neurotic about others.

I am fully aware that it is not possible to catch ghey just by meeting for drinks (so long as we dont inadvertently sit on the same bench, obviously), but somehow I doubt either of us would click. "

I know for definite we wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry to do this, but I want a thread I can refer back to as a quote on my thoughts. I have just posted this in one of the endless threads of this ilk, but it is near the bottom and I would like to be able to access it more easily.

You dont have to comment...but if you aren't suffering from "bi fatigue", feel free to do so

"If you enjoy any sexual encounter with someone of the same sex...you are bi.

To what degree, or however you want to measure a sliding scale of bi-ness, is irrelevant. As is what other people think of you. The label is not a negative thing as many appear to think, it is a common noun. That is all.

Why people think admitting you are Bi means you will be a raging gayer in a week confounds me. You are exactly the same person as before.

If a 'Vegetarian' ate meat once a month or a year, but enjoyed it and was happy to do it again, then they would be a 'predominantly vegetarian omnivore'..but an omnivore they would be. No true vegetarian would accept this persons claims to Carni-playfulness.

Admitting this doesn't mean their usual diet is made any less valid; nor will it lead to a carnivorous frenzy where the knowledge of Tofu is discarded and they will cruise Butchers shops with a blood stained mouth

I also have to ask, why do women find it easy to embrace their bi-ness whilst men seem to find any variation on a theme, to water down their like of sausage?

Why does the occasional dalliance by a man (with a man), need a million threads to debate the scale of their activity and then find a word that can blur the idea that they like cock, whilst the female of the couple wears their love of what lies beneath a vejazzle as a badge of honour?

Social acceptability is the only thing I can think of. If it became all the rage to be bi, would more men admit to being flexible in the sexuality of their bed/car/toilet mates? Of course they would.

Also, and please can someone explain this, how on earth does sucking a guys cock/being sucked mean you are not into kissing men?

I mean, to do it properly you or he must be kissing a cock. That is kissing a man isn't it?

I kiss my best mate on the cheek. We love each other and I am comfortable with that. Some people do wonder when they see us meet, although less so now. You can see it in their eyes. But I feel no need to explain we have been friends for 40 yrs....its no one's business.

But I could never touch a guy's cock in a sexual way. I played rugby and have touched other guys cocks as part of forfeits. I once drank a pint that had the guy next to me's balls dangled in them for a minute before hand. We all did it in big daisey chain. I have been in showers and team baths with loads of guys. I have never once looked at or touched any of them and thought anything sexual.

I am straight. I find it restrictive and am envious of those who can enjoy their own sex...to whatever degree, but it leaves me cold and I have no idea why. But I am not going to force myself to try it...like many men do try with women...because I know it repels me. Seeing guys kiss is an instant turn off to me. I don't think I could even do a straight MFM, which is a shame as I have contacted by quite a few couples.

So, all you peeps who are lucky enough to be bi... EMBRACE IT PLEASE.

Fuck what anyone else thinks...but for the clarity of knowing others sexual panorama, put it your profile. You dont have to use the "bisexual" description, but "bi-curious" must be the minimum level of description. Be true to yourself and stop hiding a perfectly acceptable part of your sexuality. Especially on here."

I think it's okay to 'hide' a sexuality should one choose to.

People don't have to disclose every facet of themselves to others.

As long as play parameters are respected - who cares?

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I hope this isn't aimed at us - we had a brief PM message exchange with you around a year ago, messages of a purely friendly nature - we never asked you to play and vice versa. I didn't even remember talking to you until checking your profile after your outburst ryesterday

Trust me - nobody is so special that we'd try to get around boundaries. We've more than enough meets and offers

Certainly not at you personally, (I am not aware that Marcus has EVER hidden his sexuality) though perhaps at your original comment yesterday.

We are relatively laid-back about some things, but slightly neurotic about others.

I am fully aware that it is not possible to catch ghey just by meeting for drinks (so long as we dont inadvertently sit on the same bench, obviously), but somehow I doubt either of us would click. "

Marcus doesn't use the forums, so don't bring him in to anything. Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you won't meet bi men, is it ok for you to meet all those straight guys who meet tv's/ts's?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I miss the guy that says 'giddigy' at inopportune moments.

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By *partaKrisMan
over a year ago

Lowton


"There's a popular fetish website that I'm on, which has options for:

Homoflexible and heteexible.

I always felt they were more useful than the silly 'bi-curious' which doesn't indicate if you're mostly-straight-and-curious or mostly-gay-and-curious.

h e t e r o f l e x i b l e.

Stupid, bad, website programming."

That's exactly the term I used, and I've a feeling I pinched it from the same fetish website. Made much more sense to me and felt like it fit far more than 'bisexual' and especially 'bi-curious,' which never ever made much sense to me.

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By *artinichilled1TV/TS
over a year ago

Bedford

Another thread about labels.Just enjoy x

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By *artinichilled1TV/TS
over a year ago

Bedford

If I was forced to have a label on me it would be Heinz baked beans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Another thread about labels.Just enjoy x"

Amen...ummm..ummm...I concur.

I suppose I'm a carbon based life form, but what does that mean? A label?

So much of our action depends on or is the result of context.

In June I was in Sicily watching a male policeman be approached by a female policeman/policewoman. With wide smiles they embraced and kissed each other on the cheek.

Then a male policeman approached the two and kissed both of them with full embrace.

Society, religion, and other confining forces create context. An imagined or learned or enforced or natural context.

For some people it takes a lifetime to unwrap these confining layers of imagined or enforced context so they can be who they are.

Some people need these frameworks or social norms or never feel a need to ignore them.

Labels are only labels.

Life is Wicked Good ~ LOVE ~

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I was forced to have a label on me it would be Heinz baked beans "

I'd label you "Shugga" instead of baked beans.

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