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"I get that... Are you a couple? If so how did ur partner overcome Seeing u with sum1 else? " Maybe it's just not for you? | |||
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"Although she will not tell you, you do realize that she will at some point (if not already) realise others are better/different than you in bed. And her interest in swinging will come not from the fact you re doing together but that she can have other men. You'll regret ever swinging; so many breakups following swinging. Slippery slope and all YOU can do is watch and sigh cos you don t want to lose her so you just have to accept that you are not exclusive anymore; unless your post is pure fantasy and you want us all to feel sorry for you ![]() I'd disregard this post. It's wrong on so many levels and it's such an extremely negative opinion of swinging that it beggars belief why the person posting it is even on this site. There is no comparison between sex with someone you love and sex with a stranger. Most couples don't slip from wanting to swing together into wanting to selfishly get their own fix. It won't inevitably end in tears and break up. But if there's already jealousy arising I'd suggest that it may not be the path for you. As a rule it's a bit like psychedelics... it amplifies what's already there... if your relationship is close, secure and loving it may help to make it closer, more secure and more loving... but if your relationship already has cracks in it... it'll wrench those cracks wide open. There are disasters on this site, and quite frequently, but there are also many success stories too. It's a risky game, yes, but it does not inevitably lead to the trauma this poster suggests it will. As for the jealousy issue... I'd say it's your current roadblock. I sometimes wonder, in this scenario, whether the best thing to do is just pull it off like a band aid... get a gorgeous hunk of a bloke in to fuck her good and proper and force yourself to watch. If you can withstand that then you can eschew your jealousy forever... but of course that could be terrible advice and it could completely backfire on you... leaving you feeling as if you can never sleep with your partner again. Perhaps, all in all, the best advice is for you to cool off the whole thing and try something else. No room for jealousy in swinging whatsoever ![]() | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! " That is insecurity and you should perhaps not be swinging with such insecurities. You know its OK when you get turned on watching your wife get fucked and clearly enjoying herself. If the opposite is true - you have a problem and not really sure what can be done aside from accept that maybe it is not for you. Many guys broach the idea of swinging because they quite fancy the idea of getting their paws on another woman but can't accept that their wives will be attended to by someone else as well.... Cue... wake up call. | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! " Just to say the obvious, in that you must have a very strong relationship, before embarking on swinging. My first time seeing my Husband with another woman was difficult and we didn't play for some time, but we both decided to give it another go and we have never looked back. Always make sure that you have boundaries and stick to them. This is so much fun if you get it right. Good luck! | |||
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"Although she will not tell you, you do realize that she will at some point (if not already) realise others are better/different than you in bed. And her interest in swinging will come not from the fact you re doing together but that she can have other men. You'll regret ever swinging; so many breakups following swinging. Slippery slope and all YOU can do is watch and sigh cos you don t want to lose her so you just have to accept that you are not exclusive anymore; unless your post is pure fantasy and you want us all to feel sorry for you ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I dont know how you can say there is nothing emotional about fucking " Very easily. I have very little if any emotional connection to any of the guys I have fucked. A few I know and like as friends which has nothing to do with sex. Then there are the men I have fucked in clubs, never even knew their name so why should I feel emotional about fucking them? ![]() | |||
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"Although she will not tell you, you do realize that she will at some point (if not already) realise others are better/different than you in bed. And her interest in swinging will come not from the fact you re doing together but that she can have other men. You'll regret ever swinging; so many breakups following swinging. Slippery slope and all YOU can do is watch and sigh cos you don t want to lose her so you just have to accept that you are not exclusive anymore; unless your post is pure fantasy and you want us all to feel sorry for you ![]() . My husband and I have reached a really good point in swinging - yes we know sometimes we will come across someone who is better at something or is more exciting because they are new....but this doesn't mean we love each other less....in fact I am always overwhelmed with love and gratitude towards him whenever we have shared a fulfilling swinging experience... I feel so lucky that he is letting me explore some fantasies and I feel excited and very trusted when he tells me about his fantasies......it takes patience, consideration and unselfish desire to please each other - then swinging can actually work for couples I think. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"It's normal to feel a little jealous to start with - it's new, exciting but also different. My advice just set some clear ground rules that you both adhere too - baby steps! You could be about to embark on an amazing journey that crazily makes you love each other even more x" So true! When you've done things, shared things, explored fantasies with your significant other, things you could never share with any person besides them - it takes the intimacy, trust and love for one another to a whole different dimension | |||
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"I get that... Are you a couple? If so how did ur partner overcome Seeing u with sum1 else? Maybe it's just not for you?" Wasp Hunter you could be right, maybe its not for them... but I know I have had some jealousy issues before and reading some of your posts on threads made me look at things from another perspective. And really helped a lot. Now I am glad I never just decided it wasnt for me. Maybe the OP should click your green arrow! | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! " Do you really want to overcome this 'barrier' Dean? If you do, then what is your main reason for wanting to do so ? So you can be with other women ( which is totally natural ) ?or so Tracy can be with other men ? Or genuinely and equally both reasons ? See my take on what you've posted ( which could be totally off ) is that you naturally like most men, would like to have the freedom to sleep with other women other than the woman you love.....but maybe, just maybe you have the kind of love for your wife that means you do not want to share her sexually with another / other men. Nothing more or less powerful and true than the love experianced swinging couples have for each other. Maybe this is something that doesn't have to be overcome.....maybe it's just not foryou both.....which is no big deal, swinging is not for the majority of couples in the world anyway. If you both had or potentially could have a fulfilling love life before you both experimented, then why take the risk of splitting up for the sake of something your obviously not too sure about ? Only you and Tracy can work this out between yourselves at the end of the day. Best of luck Dean to you both and I hope you come up with the answers between you. | |||
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"We wouldn't really recognise the 'there's no room for jealousy' statement as for us there absolutely is. Our experience has taught us what we like and don't like and the reality is there can be a fine line between them. We love to share and be shared but it takes the right place, time and people for it to feel right for us. So, knowing we can be jealous, we take away the elements that we know cause it. Understanding the individual subtleties for you can take take time but we simply agree that we only ever go as far as we want. Jealousy is rarely about an act and normally about what may be in people's heads (yours, or the people you play with). Lots of honest talk helps to explore the reasons that doing the things we do actually appeal and, for us at least, can really take away the fear, leaving just the naughty pleasure that brings us back for more. " Yes!! ![]() | |||
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"Although she will not tell you, you do realize that she will at some point (if not already) realise others are better/different than you in bed. And her interest in swinging will come not from the fact you re doing together but that she can have other men. You'll regret ever swinging; so many breakups following swinging. Slippery slope and all YOU can do is watch and sigh cos you don t want to lose her so you just have to accept that you are not exclusive anymore; unless your post is pure fantasy and you want us all to feel sorry for you ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Well put ![]() | |||
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"Although she will not tell you, you do realize that she will at some point (if not already) realise others are better/different than you in bed. And her interest in swinging will come not from the fact you re doing together but that she can have other men. You'll regret ever swinging; so many breakups following swinging. Slippery slope and all YOU can do is watch and sigh cos you don t want to lose her so you just have to accept that you are not exclusive anymore; unless your post is pure fantasy and you want us all to feel sorry for you ![]() This post may seem harsh but sometimes this does happen. For people to disregard it is pretty short sighted and narrow minded. | |||
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"I dont know how you can say there is nothing emotional about fucking Very easily. I have very little if any emotional connection to any of the guys I have fucked. A few I know and like as friends which has nothing to do with sex. Then there are the men I have fucked in clubs, never even knew their name so why should I feel emotional about fucking them? ![]() I agree with this totally ![]() | |||
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"Reading this thread with interest.. as I would still even after all these years be mortified if Mr had someone he said was better than me... I love to watch him with others but do get funny if he wants to play without me physically there. " Exactly why it's one of our rules. We only play with both of us there. Saves any miss-understandings. | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! " If there are any jealously issues, then swinging is not for you ![]() ![]() | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! " You need to get comfortable with concept that sex is not a good barometer of love and affection. If you can then you both can enjoy each other being pleasured by others whilst love and afection is kept to when you are alone together. | |||
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"Maybe it's just not your scene. Sometimes fantasies should just be left as that." ![]() | |||
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"I don't agree with jealousy not having a place in swinging. Jealousy is a guise for other emotions that we don't actively want to process. Many people have a sit down with their jealousy, work out what the real problems are, and become even stronger in their relationships because of that. Jealousy is a good thing if you give it the respect it needs and don't blame others for your jealousy... that's the key thing. " Very good advice! | |||
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"My hubby felt a bit insecure when he saw the other fellas cock pleasuring me, it was bigger and harder then he gets....but later on back at home I kept reassuring him that love and sexual pleasure can be kept totally seperate.....we are exploring different scenarios, talking alot about our feelings, checking things out with each other as we go along to make sure that swinging is a positive experience for both of us. Good luck with it, keep communicating, be patient, go at a pace you are both comfortable with - maybe agree soft swap for a few times? x ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"We've got an ok home, its got a garden, catches the sun, and is quite near the coast. But damn there are tonnes of other houses which are far better than ours... stately houses with 20 bedrooms and rolling gardens... penthouse suites with rooftop swimming pools and views over Paris... bumbling old country cottages overlooking beautiful rustic scenes. But if I went off alone and visited them... pretty soon I'd want to go back to my crummy little ok home where my love is, where my family is, where my life is ![]() Well said ![]() | |||
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"I don't agree with jealousy not having a place in swinging. Jealousy is a guise for other emotions that we don't actively want to process. Many people have a sit down with their jealousy, work out what the real problems are, and become even stronger in their relationships because of that. Jealousy is a good thing if you give it the respect it needs and don't blame others for your jealousy... that's the key thing. Very good advice!" Thank you ![]() | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! " Are you sure you should be doing this? It might come back and haunt you | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! " You will not overcome that barrier because as you say you enjoyed yourself but didn't like the Mrs getting her rocks off Gimp | |||
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"Jealously such an ugly emotion to feel and to witness. OP you need to talk & talk some more with your partner, discuss what brings on your feelings, work out whether you can over come them, is it an insecurity? Is it the thought that someone else is giving your partner pleasure? All of this really needs to be ironed over before you bring others into the state of play. If you think that you can't overcome it, then maybe swinging isn't really for you. " Now this I agree with. I think that jealousy is useful but it is not nce to feel nor is it nice for others to see. Good advice, it needs to be talked about. See if you can work out exactly what caused it. | |||
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"Try being cuffed to a chair and blindfolded! ![]() Yes please - oh sorry forgot what thread I was on for a minute! Seriously, I got jealous once, at the start - but I thought it through very carefully, alone. Then spoke to Will, who knew something was off obviously, but gave me time and space. Appreciate that internalising is not for everyone, but it normally works for me. If it doesn't whatever it is gets talked through, and if necessary gets added to the 'no' list! Communication is the key. Jealousy is seldom rational x Sara | |||
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"Jealously such an ugly emotion to feel and to witness. OP you need to talk & talk some more with your partner, discuss what brings on your feelings, work out whether you can over come them, is it an insecurity? Is it the thought that someone else is giving your partner pleasure? All of this really needs to be ironed over before you bring others into the state of play. If you think that you can't overcome it, then maybe swinging isn't really for you. Now this I agree with. I think that jealousy is useful but it is not nce to feel nor is it nice for others to see. Good advice, it needs to be talked about. See if you can work out exactly what caused it. " ![]() | |||
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"Although she will not tell you, you do realize that she will at some point (if not already) realise others are better/different than you in bed. And her interest in swinging will come not from the fact you re doing together but that she can have other men. You'll regret ever swinging; so many breakups following swinging. Slippery slope and all YOU can do is watch and sigh cos you don t want to lose her so you just have to accept that you are not exclusive anymore; unless your post is pure fantasy and you want us all to feel sorry for you ![]() Thank you, Scarlet; and I ve noticed this denial of - some - couples is couched in the usual "we know each other better now", "we can tell each other everything" " we are stronger now" "there is more trust" and such clichéd utterances; wake up, smell the coffee - there are some halves of couples who just stay with the other half cos they are afraid to be left solo and wold rather have their other half enjoying sex with another. Let s get off some of our high horses and accept that some of our husbands/wives/partners DO prefer being in bed with others rather than their other halves which they just end up tolerating but not daring to leave; basically - get real ![]() | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! " Remember - there is difference between love and sex. Meeting others is for sex only. If cou can learn to be pleased that your partner is having a double dose of fun - you are half way there. | |||
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"Although she will not tell you, you do realize that she will at some point (if not already) realise others are better/different than you in bed. And her interest in swinging will come not from the fact you re doing together but that she can have other men. You'll regret ever swinging; so many breakups following swinging. Slippery slope and all YOU can do is watch and sigh cos you don t want to lose her so you just have to accept that you are not exclusive anymore; unless your post is pure fantasy and you want us all to feel sorry for you ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! Remember - there is difference between love and sex. Meeting others is for sex only. If cou can learn to be pleased that your partner is having a double dose of fun - you are half way there." ![]() | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! " You will never overcome it. Sorry but it's the way you are | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! You will never overcome it. Sorry but it's the way you are " That is rubbish... And also from his first post I wouldn't say he was jealous... Just unsure. But you can get over jealously. You have to work out why... And yes some people suffer with morbid jealousy... But morbid jealousy is not something you could do this lifestyle and suffer with x | |||
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"Jealousy is often a mix of other feelings... so the first step is to own your jealousy and sit down with it,to figure out what you're actually feeling. " Very true, I'm part of a couple too with a couple profile. And a lot of deep thought was needed to overcome my thoughts and feelings | |||
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"I see many many men and never ever want them to tell me about who else they've seen/like/etc; if they do via message or in person, I show them the door; it has happened once only so I must be doing something right ![]() You do everything right ![]() | |||
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" Main think is to talk and if you really want to swing see what it works best for both. Communication is the key. " Definitely communication, and within that reassurance, lots of it, and from both of you too. Even when you get to a point when you feel comfortable dont get complacent, it's important to show your partner she (or he) is still the one you want and is better for you than anyone else. That should go for any relationship, whether swinging or not! | |||
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" Main think is to talk and if you really want to swing see what it works best for both. Communication is the key. Definitely communication, and within that reassurance, lots of it, and from both of you too. Even when you get to a point when you feel comfortable dont get complacent, it's important to show your partner she (or he) is still the one you want and is better for you than anyone else. That should go for any relationship, whether swinging or not!" ![]() | |||
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"I get that... Are you a couple? If so how did ur partner overcome Seeing u with sum1 else? Maybe it's just not for you?" My thoughts exactly. Think hard about it. It might just not be in you to be able to accept it or enjoy it. | |||
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"Embrace your jealousy and become a cuckold. Enjoy the feeling of jealousy and humilation and take the positives from it as you must learn to endure the fact that your wife now needs bigger cocks. You've opened that pandora's box already now. Do you think she will want to stop now. I suspect not if she is now enjoying herself. Get rid of your control freakery and you will learn to be the man she really wants. " What terrible advice. | |||
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"Embrace your jealousy and become a cuckold. Enjoy the feeling of jealousy and humilation and take the positives from it as you must learn to endure the fact that your wife now needs bigger cocks. You've opened that pandora's box already now. Do you think she will want to stop now. I suspect not if she is now enjoying herself. Get rid of your control freakery and you will learn to be the man she really wants. " guess we all entitled to offer advice but i fail to see that this is good advice sorry (posted by Fem) ![]() | |||
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"Embrace your jealousy and become a cuckold. Enjoy the feeling of jealousy and humilation and take the positives from it as you must learn to endure the fact that your wife now needs bigger cocks. You've opened that pandora's box already now. Do you think she will want to stop now. I suspect not if she is now enjoying herself. Get rid of your control freakery and you will learn to be the man she really wants. " Well each to their own but being part of a cuck couple (the cuck) has nothing to do with anything you have said. It takes time commitment trust and honesty to be able to give yourself 100%. I have jealousy often, but part of the joy of the lifestyle is being pacified and made to feel truly needed. To advise someone unsure about themselves to enter into an extremely complex series of emotions cannot be seen as good advice. As a fellow cuck I find the way that portrays us particularly offensive. ![]() | |||
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"My wife and i want to swing, we have had a very brief play with another couple and enjoyed it however I found it difficult to come to terms with especially seeing her with another man, how can I overcome this barrier? Any ideas would be appreciated! " Before you can overcome your jealosy you have to understand what is causing it. Do you feel insecure? If so talk to your wife about your fears. Marriage is about communication and mutual enjoyment. Do you feel you have lost power over your wife? That is good learn to live with it and become one with your wife rather than your wife being another object you own. Talk to her tell her how you felt when you watched her with another man. If you love your wife you will want to give her oppertunities of enjoyment. Do you do thing your wife enjoys but you find boring, if not why not? Does your wife do thing you enjoy but she finds boring, if not why not? Marriage is as much about giving as taking. Are you jealos of your wife in other aspects of your life? If so perhaps you need professional help. Jealsousy is complex and cannot be cured by a quick question on a forum, it is often a symptom of a bigger problem. | |||
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