FabSwingers.com forum: Is it even fair...

By *orwenglish OP Couple
over a year ago

Webster

I like others playing with me, giving me attention, touching me. But I'd rather do as little as possible to others... What's wrong with me? This goes for my husband and anyone else. Sure, I like pleasuring my husband, i love seeing him happy in every way. But, it's still true that I prefer sex over giving oral or a hand job... Why? Why can't I love giving head? What's wrong with me?

How would it be playing with others..? When I don't really WANT to do anything past touching them, and having them pleasure me...

How can I get over myself and start enjoying others pleasure more?

I feel like it would be unfair to expect someone to give us oral, but I/we don't give any back... So that makes me feel that pressure of getting into it... But how?!? Why? Just to be fair? To be unselfish.....?

I don't want it to be like this.....

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

As long as you make this clear before any clothes come off and the other party/parties agree then no problem.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

As long as you know what it is that you'd like with partners, you can look for others who have complementary needs.

I don't think it's right to force or condition yourself to engage in stuff that you don't really like to want to do. If you're somewhat interested, then engagement in activities can increase your pleasure from them, as you lose your rustiness or any awkward feelings.

But, plenty of people to choose from, so I just find others that can deliver what I need and don't care about any norms out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

actually it would be rather nice for someone to 'just let me do my thing' and pleasure them. All too often the sex can be a bit formulaic whereby one starts sucking, then other licks, then other fucks, then other rides, then hand job and so on. The greatest thing you can give back is by having an orgasm. The feeling you get thinking that you gave that to her is incredible.

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

How would it be playing with others..? When I don't really WANT to do anything past touching them, and having them pleasure me...

How can I get over myself and start enjoying others pleasure more?

I don't want it to be like this.....

You're just selfish, most likely has some psychological roots that only a psychologist /sexual health expert can he you with.

Failing that just suck it up (ba dum tsss) and make the effort even if it's not all about you.

you can't make yourself enjoy something but you can get over your guilty feelings by reciprocating pleasure.

There must be guilt or this post wouldn't exist.

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

Op, swinging should always be about fun and doing what you like.

Totally agree with other posts (except one above about you being selfish!) that if you make it clear and others chose to play , grEat.

I know, as another poster said, a lot of mean REALLY enjoy giving and pleasing women with nothing in return. I've done it myself many times and it's great.

Good to you for being honest and do what pleases you.

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

"Op, swinging should always be about fun and doing what you like.

Totally agree with other posts (except one above about you being selfish!) that if you make it clear and others chose to play , grEat.

I know, as another poster said, a lot of mean REALLY enjoy giving and pleasing women with nothing in return. I've done it myself many times and it's great.

Good to you for being honest and do what pleases you.

D "

If you only enjoy receiving pleasure and not giving it what would you class that as if not selfish?

I'm not having a go at you or the op but they've asked for advice/help in not being that way and the first step with any problem is to admit you have one and identify it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A refreshing honest honest postfor a change on here.

O p by being upfront as you are people can make informed decision whether to meet and this is best way.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Like others have said make sure you are clear about this when arranging a meet .Some will still meet you ,but it would quite rightly put many off who are here for mutual pleasure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It could feel like they are used for your own gain, anyone in it like most are for mutual pleasure, may find it selfish.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the same as you in that seeing somebody else's pleasure is an ego boost but doesn't do anything for me sexually. I'd rather they cum as soon as possible when I'm giving oral or a hand job. To be fair, I'd rather cum as soon as possible when I'm receiving too. I think a lot of it is based on the fact I have M.E. and Fibromyalgia so want to expend as little energy as possible while still getting the desired result! As for trying to become less selfish. For me it's a case of forcing myself to start giving oral etc and then I usually find once I get into it I'm ok. For years I barely did it but that led to quite a bit of resentment on my husband's part who is a very giving lover. I think that represents us in our relationship too, he's so thoughtful. I think you just have to make a conscious effort to be more giving whereas for others it just cones naturally x

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

How would it be playing with others..? When I don't really WANT to do anything past touching them, and having them pleasure me...

How can I get over myself and start enjoying others pleasure more?

I don't want it to be like this.....

I am sure if you are thrusting yourself on the man's cock as he is penetrating you you will be giving him extreme pleasure.

There is no reason why you should give oral or a hand job life would be boring if we were all the same.

Do what you enjoy and do it well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How would it be playing with others..? When I don't really WANT to do anything past touching them, and having them pleasure me...

How can I get over myself and start enjoying others pleasure more?

I don't want it to be like this.....

Nothing is wrong with you. It's called personal preference. I don't particularly like giving head or hand jobs either. If they want that, they can go elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what you like and like what you do f**k everyone else

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By *cd and scruffCouple
over a year ago

Rochester

Do what you enjoy.as much as you enjoy recieving you will find people who like giving. We are all different and cannot condemn others, or reply negatively because we do not understand it. Is a person who enjoys giving pleasure being selfish? - they are only satisfying their own needs by giving pleasure.

stop worrying, as long as everybody knows what they are getting in to it's not a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the OP I'm the opposite and like you think what's wrong with me.. I've accepted that Much of it stems from things in my past and while with mr I've learned its ok to relax and enjoy and that getting pleasure is important...

With anyone else I still really struggle...

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

"Op, swinging should always be about fun and doing what you like.

Totally agree with other posts (except one above about you being selfish!) that if you make it clear and others chose to play , grEat.

I know, as another poster said, a lot of mean REALLY enjoy giving and pleasing women with nothing in return. I've done it myself many times and it's great.

Good to you for being honest and do what pleases you.

If you only enjoy receiving pleasure and not giving it what would you class that as if not selfish?

I'm not having a go at you or the op but they've asked for advice/help in not being that way and the first step with any problem is to admit you have one and identify it. "

It's ok, I'm not taking it as having a go

All I'd say is, how many people eat out... Doesn't meant they don't cook at home, just means they prefer it.

Don't see anyone calling them selfish.

Being selfish to me is going into a scenario when someone may reasonably expect something in return but you've not said from the outset you have no intention of fulfilling.

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