FabSwingers.com forum: local privacy threat

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just looking for advice. We haven't been on this site very long and believe our profile is quite discrete.

But we have had a message from someone reasonably local to us who has decided to guess our names. We don't know who this but it has made us incredibly uncomfortable. Seriously thinking of shutting our account down as our privacy is really important.

Has this happened to anyone before and what did you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some real discusting individuals on here who will do anything for their own personal gain. You have some lovely pictures but I would be setting them to private to take some control of your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With your hair - anyone in your close local area could quite possibly recognise you.

Your face is also on show in a public pic.

I know I'm blocked from viewing a couple of local profiles for that very reason - same as I have blocked a couple....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think of it as clues to who you are, for example if you put your names on your profile, face pictures, or outside a distinctive house, etc.

These pictures and profile details can be hidden / altered, that is what I'd suggest for you. A lot of people have worries of local people they know finding out, but in a lot of cases it's fine and respectful. I'd block anyone I felt was too close to home.

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By *exybifemcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Preston

Never put your face public for this very reason !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a face pic on show so you would be recognised!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did they make threats to out you or were they being friendly in message?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Block the person, put most of your pictures in private, change your user name and location. People occasionally message us saying they know us, they think it means we'll meet them but like you I find it creepy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was worried the first thing I would do is put all my pics into private, why have you not done this? Especially as your face is visible. Then block the person. Job done. Anyone else asks, deny.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

What everyone else has said

If you have face pictures in public prepare to be recognised

If your privacy is that important then you need to hide them,if you're on here then what's to stop everyone who knows you being on here too

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

Echo all the above. If you want the photo with your face in, blur the detail but the hair is also telling ....

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

We've had this a couple of times but in both cases they were wrong and we saw it as people trying to get "personal" which we didn't like, so although we didn't actually know them we still blocked them for that reason. Flik also had someone in the chat room pushing for personal detail as he was local....again he was blocked.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice everyone.

The face picture is a new photo and had slipped through the net it should have been private.

The message wasn't threatening or anything it just asked us to confirm who we were. We have immediately blocked them but I feel very nervous now. I wouldn't want to be approached by someone I knew about this.

I'm not sure what to do about the whole hair being recognised bit. I would have thought we needed photos on as a couple. Could we really put them all in private?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thanks for the advice everyone.

The face picture is a new photo and had slipped through the net it should have been private.

I'm not sure what to do about the whole hair being recognised bit. I would have thought we needed photos on as a couple. Could we really put them all in private?"

Up to you entirely.

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"Block the person, put most of your pictures in private, change your user name and location. People occasionally message us saying they know us, they think it means we'll meet them but like you I find it creepy."

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

You still have a face pic on your profile

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By *itTVlondonTV/TS
over a year ago

London

No offence meant but I often wonder how on earth small-town people keep their anonymity/privacy??? Sooooooo glad to be in the capital of the world where my men can be super discreet; but you ve been given very good advice and I hope all goes well for you two

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Like others have said block that profile and take steps to make your profile less identifiable.

Some people are just nasty and don't know the meaning of discreet.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

"You still have a face pic on your profile"

This.

Use of the crop facility for pics mYbe a good idea and the uncropped in friends, keeping those who have access to your friends pics very selective.

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By *iker boy 69Man
over a year ago

midlands

if your able to travel then why not privatise pics and do searches for ppl who you could get to or if accom then search ppl who could travel to you from outide really local area

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just looking for advice. We haven't been on this site very long and believe our profile is quite discrete.

Has this happened to anyone before and what did you do?"

Just block the person sadly idiots galore on fab.

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I can see why this is troubling you...It is another reason why asking for discretion and privacy on here should not always be seen as a sign of not being genuine...The threads that go on about 'everyone should have a face pic and we are all here for same reason' don't always seem to recognise that we aren't all coming from the same place.

i hope you get things sorted out and stay here...

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live in a small village.

Someone messaged me with the village name as the title, it freaked me out completely.

I sent a friendly reply neither confirming or denying anything and blocked him.

I now have a saved search that is for local people and I routinely block new profiles. I also use the "near me" on the mobile app to identify others that don't come up on the search and block them.

As others have said, Keep your photos private. Have a generic none recognisable image as a public one, share others after you've chatted with people.

The person who contacted you may fancy you already and not be doing it for malicious reasons. I mean he needs to be discreet too. That being said I would quickly unblock him, take screen dumps of his profile and block him again, just incase you think he is going to hassle you further.

If you think there was any attempt at malice remove this profile and start again, with him blocked from the beginning. If someone comes up to you on the street just pretend you had them stolen.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many people use a different postcode from their own. Don't assume that because they show as 20 miles away that it's true. They could be your next door neighbour.

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By *UNCHBOXMan
over a year ago

folkestone

"Just looking for advice. We haven't been on this site very long and believe our profile is quite discrete.

Has this happened to anyone before and what did you do?"

Err on the side of caution with face pics if you are bothered about local people trying to guess who you are. I did know a woman who's work colleague was on another site and he worked out from her name, location and age who it was and the tosser told all her work colleagues.

Genuine swingers will understand your reasons why. I get couples demanding i send a face pic but haven't got any themselves, so as genuine as they may be, i turn them down, as they can then see who i am but i can't them.

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