FabSwingers.com forum: "Being ruined"

By *its The Spot Alot OP Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

Both myself and the other half play on Fab. she is meeting some guy soon who possibly has the largest cock she has ever had.

We were fucking the other night and chatting about what he wanted to do too her.

She said he wanted to "ruin her" when they fuck, we can both guess what this means but wondered if we are right??

We are not into Cuck /sub/dom and both play equally as much, now and then having great sex but deff not into humiliation.

I've no problem her cumming on his big cock as much as they like and hope she comes home well fucked. just making sure we've the right Definition.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mate says "ruin it" to every girl he walks by..

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

Ask the person she is meeting - only he can tell you what he means and if you don't like it say so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Basically means he's gonna destroy her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'.

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By *its The Spot Alot OP Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

Lol I think to be fair it was part of a exchange on the phone winding each other up and she has met him once as a social to check him out and just sucked him off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always sounds ignorant,hamfisted and aggressive to me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds a little bit rapey if I'm honest. I wouldn't choose to have sex with someone who used such aggressive and forceful language to talk about sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its only an expression x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Urban Dictionary

ruin (top definition)

To have sex with another in such a manner so the partner is never quite the same. Emotional counselling is typically required after the fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I find it a bit Keith Lemon,childishly laughable before I think hang on....I don't want to fuck a Keith Lemon wannabe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone says they are going to ruin me i take they mean fuck me to the point i wont be able to fuck again that night... A few decent orgasms does that so dont read into it too much and just feel assured he aims to put effort into the meet x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't bear that phrase. Instant block and delete for me TBH

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

I cant help but say it in a Stewie Griffin voice

sooo any bloke that says it to me will just get laughed at. A lot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpTXW8IsDBM

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

If she enjoys rough, forceful sex and being used then it'll probably be all good

If she doesn't though, I'd be walking away because to me that saying is about the bloke using and taking for his own needs

Some women like that... I don't

Does your partner?

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By *its The Spot Alot OP Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

Hmmmm well I thought it meant he wanted to pound her as to not be the same ever again with me,

which we both know that aint going to happen lol but she is turned on at the thought of him trying

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By *its The Spot Alot OP Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

Yes she likes to be held down and fucked hard now and then so think it will be ok

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Its only an expression x"

everything is only an expression, doesn't make it innocuous though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would never want to 'ruin' something so perfect, fuck long and hard, slow and gentle, but 'ruin' .......

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

[Removed by poster at 25/05/15 22:00:09]

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'."

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

"Yes she likes to be held down and fucked hard now and then so think it will be ok "

If you only 'think' it will be ok, then you need to check out exactly what he has in mind before your lady meets him. You need to be 100% sure that it will be ok....'think' is not good enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he intends to give her some bad financial advice ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes she likes to be held down and fucked hard now and then so think it will be ok "

It doesnt sound like you are too bothered what happens to her tbh. If I had a partner, id want him to check out what was going on and make sure I was going to be looked after. Maybe im a bit naive here but sex is supposed to be fun, not sound like she is going to be hurt

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By *iss-PinkWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

I'd take it that he wants to play hard until she can't take any more that night - a 'sore but in a good way' feeling the next day kind of way.

P x

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By *nigmatic1Woman
over a year ago

A seaside town near you!

"I would never want to 'ruin' something so perfect, fuck long and hard, slow and gentle, but 'ruin' .......

This

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By *id unviciousMan
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Maybe he intends to give her some bad financial advice ..."

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By *earlyNipsCouple
over a year ago

St Neots

It's the sort of childish nonsense you hear from a teenager. I don't know how much, but it's definitely some insight into his personality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would put me off someone if they said that.

However I met someone once who was so mind blowing he ruined me for everyone else in that it couldn't quite live up to that experience x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Comes across to me as the whole "lad culture" where he talks to his mates in the pub about the birds he's ruined

Jay from the inbetweeners springs to mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my various chats with women over the years...guys who large it that way don't tend to deliver....

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By *its The Spot Alot OP Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

I'm sure she will be fine she has met him once before.

Just was interested in what the phrase meant and what she might be in for or what he thinks he can achieve.

I cant see her feeling everyone is second best after him esp me lol

but if she gets a real good night out of it all is good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

instant turn off for me if a guy says this, over inflated ego/needs to big himsel up, all talk and wont last 2mins, and overly aggressive/selfish all spring to mind.

I love rough sex, im generally submissive and like a guy in control, but i dont like the implication of harm.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to block if a guy says that.. Mr says I should go and let them try lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

basically a red raw fanny, gaping cum soaked arse, and filler-esque lips

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I tend to block if a guy says that.. Mr says I should go and let them try lol x"

so does mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My take on it is more bravado talk.

Like saying my cum will be squirting out of your ears.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

That kind of talk normally comes from a man who can just about manage to stay hard long enough to cum once.

Its childish bravado, to make up for lack of skill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its only an expression x

everything is only an expression, doesn't make it innocuous though."

I would suggest context is everything in understanding an expression. In some urban cultures exaggeration is a way of expression. I.e.I had massive night out, or we killed them at football. Even in metaphor, he stabbed me in the back. Better than judging it may be better to ask the guy what he meant. I would have assumed he merely meant that he would satisfy her till she would want no more. Also given the size of his appendage and depending on his skill that may or may not happen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sure she will be fine she has met him once before.

Just was interested in what the phrase meant and what she might be in for or what he thinks he can achieve.

I cant see her feeling everyone is second best after him esp me lol

but if she gets a real good night out of it all is good.

I wouldn't over analyse the term to be honest. It depends on the trust between the person saying it and the intended recipient. I say it to my male 'prospects' all the time and I love it if a guy (who I've vetted already) says it to me.

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

However I met someone once who was so mind blowing he ruined me for everyone else in that it couldn't quite live up to that experience x"

That's my understanding of what it means

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sure she will be fine she has met him once before.

Just was interested in what the phrase meant and what she might be in for or what he thinks he can achieve.

I cant see her feeling everyone is second best after him esp me lol

but if she gets a real good night out of it all is good.

I agree its been said to me and i wasnt offended its sexy in the right context x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

However I met someone once who was so mind blowing he ruined me for everyone else in that it couldn't quite live up to that experience x

That's my understanding of what it means"

I don't think that's the common understanding of the term.

When most guys I've encountered have said it, they mean that they want to fuck someone so hard it might hurt them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe he intends to give her some bad financial advice ..."

Funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't bear that phrase. Instant block and delete for me TBH

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would never want to 'ruin' something so perfect, fuck long and hard, slow and gentle, but 'ruin' .......

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By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby

Considering Vaginas are designed to deliver a baby I think the phrase is just aggressive bragging and like some have said lad culture.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In porn 'ruined' generally means fucked to a state where you can't go back to 'normal'. So someone that does repeated anal play with large toys would 'ruin' their ass. Someone who only does very large vaginal insertions would be making 'ruin' porn. It means someone is damaged. Broken.

Hence why many people don't like that phrase.

(It's also pretty laddish and kind of sexist. For a few reasons.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'."

Fantastic !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My take on it is more bravado talk.

Like saying my cum will be squirting out of your ears.

Do people say that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My take on it is more bravado talk.

Like saying my cum will be squirting out of your ears.

Do people say that?

I do not think they understand biology.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol I think to be fair it was part of a exchange on the phone winding each other up and she has met him once as a social to check him out and just sucked him off."

That's a new definition of social lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love a good ruining

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He could always just "fuck her brains out"

Just as disrespectful in my mind but for some reason seems to have been accepted as appropriate to say over the years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'."

This. At least find a man whom has respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He could always just "fuck her brains out"

Just as disrespectful in my mind but for some reason seems to have been accepted as appropriate to say over the years"

Plenty of us don't see that as appropriate language anymore.

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By *earboynottinghamMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

They're only words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're only words.

Sure, they are only words. But words are one of the main ways that we convey our attitudes and preferences to the outside world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're only words.

Sure, they are only words. But words are one of the main ways that we convey our attitudes and preferences to the outside world."

Spot on. Attitude is important to me. Like I wouldn't want to play with someone who calls black people niggers or people with a learning disability spastics.

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By *oconut2Woman
over a year ago

Nether regions of the back of beyond

"Urban Dictionary

ruin (top definition)

To have sex with another in such a manner so the partner is never quite the same. Emotional counselling is typically required after the fact.

Ha ha yeah right lol I've been "ruined" a few times and never needed counselling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They're only words.

Sure, they are only words. But words are one of the main ways that we convey our attitudes and preferences to the outside world.

Spot on. Attitude is important to me. Like I wouldn't want to play with someone who calls black people niggers or people with a learning disability spastics.

QED it is not the words that are important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes its fine to use, it means they just wanna fuck her hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mate says "ruin it" to every girl he walks by.."

He's got balls! I'd suck his dick if he said that to me just coz he's so cocky!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol I think to be fair it was part of a exchange on the phone winding each other up and she has met him once as a social to check him out and just sucked him off."

A blow job just for a social? Love how blowjobs have become the new handshake!

Oh wait! I do that too!

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By *abcouple11Couple
over a year ago

Truro

"ruining my cunt" is a familiar term on BDSM / kink. The outcome of a session is often offered for comment, with invitation-messages entitled things like "rate my gape".

Typically ladies like to use objects like huge dildos, butt-plugs intended for gay men, large vegetables, being fisted, sex with several excessively hung men who have difficulty finding partners normally, etc, etc.

The term "ruining" is probably a play on conventional aesthetics and the commercially desirable norm of "a nice tight vagina". In the same way that we say "I'm having a quick perv" in order to send-up that idea that erotic material and kink is somehow bad when any reasonable and well-formed person knows it's actually a good thing.

If that's what the guy's offering and that's what the lady's up for (and you OP are fine with your partner doing it) - I hope it goes well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just like to talk dirty.

If your wife is meeting him for a second time then maybe she likes getting ruined

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By *eshzMan
over a year ago

0151

"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/05/15 15:09:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its the same as saying. I am gonna destroy your Pussey lol.

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By *eshzMan
over a year ago

0151

& how is that sexy or respectful to a lady?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone's been watching celebrity juice and seen that the ladies laugh and respond to Keith Lemmon.

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By *its The Spot Alot OP Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

Well I will soon find out she is meeting him later this evening, so wished her a good time and I'm sure she will and I can't wait to hear all the details later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He sounds like an immature knob who is disrespectful and will probably shoot his load in 2 seconds. Is that what you and your lady want? Next he'll be saying he's gonna 'smash her backdoors in'."

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

Oh come on!!!

I say this, I have met women who say this and destroyed and ravaged, devoured... And yes forced...

It's all about context....

But if you say it, you have to deliver, I know a fair few ladies who would be completely disappointed if they didn't feel "ruined" for the rest of the week...

A Finnish lady once said to me "sex is just adults playing".

And this is just the language of play....

But no I would never say.... Ugh!!!.... "Smash your back doors in"....

I have far worse language for that!

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

Context is everything.

Sure as an opening line it would be in pretty poor taste. But the context of their sex chat it maybe exactly what she wanted.

This does not make him either immature, a 1 minute wonder or aggressive. It means he can play a role.

On another meet use of language and the type of sex maybe completely different.

Women are allowed to enjoy mind games and aggressive sex to. There is nothing wrong with a woman getting what she wants from sex.

For example if this was a cuckolded man being verbally objectified. People would have far less concerns. Is it not slightly sexist to assume if a woman did not want 'ruining' then she could speak for herself and not need a big strong man to step in for her?

If I enjoy being called a slut then very few would complain as I'm a man. Same if my wife treats me roughly.

But if that's reversed it's then an issue.

But with other people and at other times ( most of the time) sex is of a completely different nature.

It about finding was turns you on and enjoying it. Even if it would not turn everyone on.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"always sounds ignorant,hamfisted and aggressive to me..."

This!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Context is everything.

Sure as an opening line it would be in pretty poor taste. But the context of their sex chat it maybe exactly what she wanted.

This does not make him either immature, a 1 minute wonder or aggressive. It means he can play a role.

On another meet use of language and the type of sex maybe completely different.

Women are allowed to enjoy mind games and aggressive sex to. There is nothing wrong with a woman getting what she wants from sex.

If I enjoy being called a slut then very few would complain as I'm a man. Same if my wife treats me roughly.

But if that's reversed it's then an issue.

But with other people and at other times ( most of the time) sex is of a completely different nature.

It about finding was turns you on and enjoying it. Even if it would not turn everyone on."

Totally.... What people forget is they tie people up, get spanked, suck cock, eat pussy, have anal, are gay or lesbian.

Somewhere in the world all of which are considered disgusting.

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By *itTVlondonTV/TS
over a year ago

London

Can t you (all) see that the OP is getting off on a fantasy??? A MA ZING LY naive!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I will soon find out she is meeting him later this evening, so wished her a good time and I'm sure she will and I can't wait to hear all the details later "

So OP how did it go?

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By *entleman JackMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

Well I like to please and pleasure a girl..... try my very best to make our time together as intensely erotic as possible, with my hands, my tongue, my fingertips and of course my cock. I like to take my time, making the girl the centre of attention, listening to her responding to my touch, and enjoying her time with me. I want to know that she had the best time possible, and that she was left with a big smile and a tingling pussy afterwards!

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

"Can t you (all) see that the OP is getting off on a fantasy??? A MA ZING LY naive!!!!"

Someone once has a fantasy about flying....

They discussed it and the people they laughed...

Eventually, somebody in a far off distant land, that didn't exist at the time of the original conversation, decided to explore this idea further.

Did it really matter what were the motives behind the original conversation?

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By *itTVlondonTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"Can t you (all) see that the OP is getting off on a fantasy??? A MA ZING LY naive!!!!

Someone once has a fantasy about flying....

They discussed it and the people they laughed...

Eventually, somebody in a far off distant land, that didn't exist at the time of the original conversation, decided to explore this idea further.

Did it really matter what were the motives behind the original conversation?"

No it did/does not and all I was doing was commenting so your message is clearly levelled at Yourself Duh

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"Lol I think to be fair it was part of a exchange on the phone winding each other up and she has met him once as a social to check him out and just sucked him off."

I like these versions of socials, where you meet for a drink

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By *its The Spot Alot OP Man
over a year ago

Plymouth

Well it all went fine folks but due to time and location she just gave him two Blow jobs but there are arrangements for more soon.

It does sound like the comment of "ruining" was in context with horny chat leading up to meeting again and in reply to a comment "getting off on it" of course I do same as my other half gets of on me meeting someone we are a couple that like to have our fun and chat about it after usually when fucking.

The main reason for post was to define what's likely to be the meaning of the phrase "ruined" she gets the loving sex off me the harder more animalistic sex is perhaps what she wants from another if he and what he's offering stacks up

It's up to her I'm only watching out for her and happy to hear how it goes.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

Was going to meet a guy he started talking filth said he would fuck my arse till it bleeds that was the end of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Was going to meet a guy he started talking filth said he would fuck my arse till it bleeds that was the end of it "

Lol

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

"Well it all went fine folks but due to time and location she just gave him two Blow jobs but there are arrangements for more soon.

It's up to her I'm only watching out for her and happy to hear how it goes."

Lol...well after all that build up HE got two blow jobs??!! What did she get out of it? Not the hard animalistic sex she was looking for then?

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By *fcdTV/TS
over a year ago

Southend

"They're only words.

Sure, they are only words. But words are one of the main ways that we convey our attitudes and preferences to the outside world."
This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are both happy and he's happy then that's all that matters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Both myself and the other half play on Fab. she is meeting some guy soon who possibly has the largest cock she has ever had.

We were fucking the other night and chatting about what he wanted to do too her.

She said he wanted to "ruin her" when they fuck, we can both guess what this means but wondered if we are right??

We are not into Cuck /sub/dom and both play equally as much, now and then having great sex but deff not into humiliation.

I've no problem her cumming on his big cock as much as they like and hope she comes home well fucked. just making sure we've the right Definition.

I guess he is meaning that he will give her such a good time and such an amazing experience with his huge cock that she will never want or need small cock again, from the first time she feels him deep inside her she will know how amazing a big cock feels and want big from then on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are both happy and he's happy then that's all that matters

It would be interesting to hear from the lady herself, to see if she enjoyed herself, just giving blow jobs and getting nothing in return, ruined or otherwise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you are both happy and he's happy then that's all that matters

It would be interesting to hear from the lady herself, to see if she enjoyed herself, just giving blow jobs and getting nothing in return, ruined or otherwise."

It wouldn't do it for me but she might be perfectly happy with that

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By *tallionExoticaMan
over a year ago

Islington

"Its only an expression x

everything is only an expression, doesn't make it innocuous though.

I would suggest context is everything in understanding an expression. In some urban cultures exaggeration is a way of exprcession. I.e.I had massive night out, or we killed them at football. Even in metaphor, he stabbed me in the back. Better than judging it may be better to ask the guy what he meant. I would have assumed he merely meant that he would satisfy her till she would want no more. Also given the size of his appendage and depending on his skill that may or may not happen!"

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