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Taking the plunge

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By *aggieAdam OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Been on here a while now and met a few people who have been a lot of fun. Only social meets because the Mrs is too nervous to take the plunge. Any advice that might give her a nudge in the right direction?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I felt the same a couple of years ago, was a fantasy to have another guy join us but I was scared the reality wouldn't live up to the fantasy - we were lucky to find a real gent for our first meet and we've never looked back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We were incredibly nervous at first. Found the right people for us and it just happened. We still get a little nervous when meeting new people but can usually tell within 5 minutes if we're going to the bedroom with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After a visit to a local pub for a social, we left saying we'd be in touch (the nerves got to me) the guy involved had already asked us back to his , but muggins here said no. . He drove his way,we drove ours,after about 5 mins I rang him,told him I'd changed my mind. luckily he knew the score. . Sometimes you've just gotta take the bull by the horns . I did

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By *aggieAdam OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Thanks guys. I have thought about surprising her with a guest as I think that could work but think I could pick the wrong guy and make it worse! A minefield!

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Yeah a surprise meet might not be the best idea!

We went to a club as our first toe dip into the lifestyle. Just getting naked in front of others to get into the hot tub was a huge rush for us. That night we just played together but had a fantastic time

We did a couple of club visits and then a house party before finally swapping on a private meet with another couple who we met for a drink and then they came back to ours. For us it was the right time and we loved it.

I always say this is a journey, not a race, so there is no need to rush anything. We agreed at the start that if ever a situation didn't feel right, we would walk away and live to swing another day and that has served us well.

So after all that prep work, eventually you have to dive in. Just make sure she knows you're diving with her and holding her hand the whole way. At the end of the day she is only worried because she loves you status scared of losing you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Been on here a while now and met a few people who have been a lot of fun. Only social meets because the Mrs is too nervous to take the plunge. Any advice that might give her a nudge in the right direction? "

Why is she nervous? You two will have discussed this at length of course and you will know what her fears are.

Mr N and I talked about every detail for a long time, he patiently listened to and discussed with me every fear I had. Now we are some years down the line we still discuss feelings, concerns etc just as much as fantasies and fun.

A nudge in the right direction on the advice of strangers is very possibly the second worst thing you could do with surprising her with a stranger right up there at the top of the list of very bad ideas. Imagine how the man would feel for a start.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Yeah a surprise meet might not be the best idea!

We went to a club as our first toe dip into the lifestyle. Just getting naked in front of others to get into the hot tub was a huge rush for us. That night we just played together but had a fantastic time

We did a couple of club visits and then a house party before finally swapping on a private meet with another couple who we met for a drink and then they came back to ours. For us it was the right time and we loved it.

I always say this is a journey, not a race, so there is no need to rush anything. We agreed at the start that if ever a situation didn't feel right, we would walk away and live to swing another day and that has served us well.

So after all that prep work, eventually you have to dive in. Just make sure she knows you're diving with her and holding her hand the whole way. At the end of the day she is only worried because she loves you status scared of losing you."

With respect you can't know that is why she's nervous, it could be that deep down she doesn't actually want to do it.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge


"

With respect you can't know that is why she's nervous, it could be that deep down she doesn't actually want to do it."

True, I suppose guessing the thought process of a third party based on a single forum post from their husband might be a bit beyond me. But at least I tried

My next thread will be "guessing next weeks lottery numbers"

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed

I think the first thing is to understand why she is hesitant to take the plunge.

Once you know that, then the rest is simple.

She may not want to actually act out the fantasy.

She may want to act out her fantasies, but not yours.

She may want to have some fun but with limitations.

She may not like the look of the people she has seen.

She maybe enjoys keeping you begging for it.

She maybe having some fun with people she has met and not told you as she likes cuckolding you.

Anyway you get the point.

It's all about communication between the two of you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"

With respect you can't know that is why she's nervous, it could be that deep down she doesn't actually want to do it.

True, I suppose guessing the thought process of a third party based on a single forum post from their husband might be a bit beyond me. But at least I tried

My next thread will be "guessing next weeks lottery numbers" "

Its no bloomin good guessing them! I want the actual numbers

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By *aggieAdam OP   Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Lol! Sorry for the lack of info! I know exactly why she's nervous and it's not that she doesn't want to. Simply put it's just she feels inexperienced compared to a lot here. But maybe I was wrong asking here, I just thought someone may have been in a similar position once

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

We were all inexperienced once, it's not something to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Lol! Sorry for the lack of info! I know exactly why she's nervous and it's not that she doesn't want to. Simply put it's just she feels inexperienced compared to a lot here. But maybe I was wrong asking here, I just thought someone may have been in a similar position once "

We all were. It was the way you phrased it.

I imagined that I would be expected to be like a porn star but the truth couldn't have been further from that. Explain to anybody you are going to meet, most will understand and those that don't aren't worth meeting. Good luck.

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