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What should i do?

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By *lashpix OP   Man
over a year ago

nottingham

Hello, i am a 68 yr old married man who's wife has a lot of ongoing health problems and is currently in hospital, and could be for quite a while. I do 90% of house work, shopping, and all of the cooking at home, not to mention looking after the garden. We are not intimate together anymore which i miss, and we have talked about me having an affair so at least i could have a little pleasure. She said that she has no objections. Hopefully we will stay together in the long term. What would others do?

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By *ath_Neil_bifunCouple
over a year ago

near cardiff

Sex is not the be all and end all of a relationship..if she's happy for you to have some fun elsewhere then go for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello, i am a 68 yr old married man who's wife has a lot of ongoing health problems and is currently in hospital, and could be for quite a while. I do 90% of house work, shopping, and all of the cooking at home, not to mention looking after the garden. We are not intimate together anymore which i miss, and we have talked about me having an affair so at least i could have a little pleasure. She said that she has no objections. Hopefully we will stay together in the long term. What would others do? "

I think I would soul search for a while to make sure I believed that she genuinely wanted me to go and have sex with other people. Because I'd worry that she was saying it just to make me happy so that I didn't leave her when she needed me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both the above comments are very relevant.

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Also be sure you can trust yourself to not become over attached to a new lover, as that would cause hurt and complications to your situation.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"Hello, i am a 68 yr old married man who's wife has a lot of ongoing health problems and is currently in hospital, and could be for quite a while. I do 90% of house work, shopping, and all of the cooking at home, not to mention looking after the garden. We are not intimate together anymore which i miss, and we have talked about me having an affair so at least i could have a little pleasure. She said that she has no objections. Hopefully we will stay together in the long term. What would others do?

I think I would soul search for a while to make sure I believed that she genuinely wanted me to go and have sex with other people. Because I'd worry that she was saying it just to make me happy so that I didn't leave her when she needed me."

The "Hopefully we will stay together in the long term" bit made me raise an eyebrow.

If you can separate 'sex' and 'love' - it's easier to handle the situation and should not compromise your long-term stability.

If Mrs is genuinely okay with this - then

Sometimes the "don't ask, don't tell" policy works better...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The hopefully stay together comment suggests to me that you are not ready for that kind of relationship

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Is there any possibility of your wife resuming intimacy? I don't mean penetrative sex necessarily but all the other sexual things that can happen between long established couples that lead to closeness and intimate feelings.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

To me an "affair" has emotional connotations, but I think sex is OK if you are sure your wife is OK with it.

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