Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
![]() | Back to forum list |
![]() | Back to Swinging Support and Advice |
Jump to newest | ![]() |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We weren't sure how we'd feel afterwards, and it was quite a worry that it might damage our relationship, even though we'd talked about it for months, because you just can't know what it's going to be like "afterwards". Our first full swap was with a lovely couple who took their time with us, everything was gentle and consensual, and everyone had the chance to play so nobody was left out. We were all together so we were able to keep eye contact and squeeze hands occasionally so we never felt apart. Perhaps as a result, the experience for us felt like *adding* to our relationship, not something being taken away or lost. We were really pleased to find our worries about becoming jealous or possessive were unfounded - and the pleasure of seeing each other delighted was fantastic. We'd guess that if you have any 'issues' to resolve that full swaps will amplify them, so make sure everything's sorted in advance, but if you've worked through flirting/soft swaps then you've probably figured all that out. The step to full swap wasn't (for us) as big a step as just getting started in the scene at all! Hope that makes sense and helps!" Yeh thanks.that's how I'm feeling now. So glad it worked well for you,hope things go just as well for us xx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yeh we have talked about it loads and he has reassured me so much that he loves me and it's just horny fun.i know it is to that's why I want to give it a go. It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them. Just wanted to see if anyone else felt like that and then did it and everything was ok x" If you're anything like us it'll be you that enjoys it the most - Elle exhausts everybody she plays with! I think you need to be as sure as possible BEFORE you do it though, it's not a good idea to wait until after. Nerves are a different thing, and normal. Good luck | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just need abit of advice before we do our first full swap tonight. We both really want to do it however i (Mrs) am worried about how I will feel after seeing him with another woman. Don't know wether I'm over thinking things or I should just try it and if it's not for us then don't do it again? Did any women that are part of a couple have the same thought before they tried it? x" You have answered your own question i think, i personally don't think you are ready for full swap yet. You will know when the time is right as the thought of full swap will fill you with excitement rather than worry x. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just need abit of advice before we do our first full swap tonight. We both really want to do it however i (Mrs) am worried about how I will feel after seeing him with another woman. Don't know wether I'm over thinking things or I should just try it and if it's not for us then don't do it again? Did any women that are part of a couple have the same thought before they tried it? x You have answered your own question i think, i personally don't think you are ready for full swap yet. You will know when the time is right as the thought of full swap will fill you with excitement rather than worry x." Fully agree - if you have any concerns, don't do it. Have you tried soft swapping? It's a good way of testing the ground. We dud, and enjoyed it, but it was some time before we moved on to full swaps. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them." Let me give you an analogy: Mrs likes cooking for me, and I like cooking for her. It's a loving gesture beyond the need to eat. While she's pretty hand in the kitchen, she's by no means a Michelin-star chef (same here). Now, I've eaten at some of the finest restaurants in the country, with food cooked by some of the best chefs you can get. The food is mind-blowingly good! I mean, the sort of good you would write novels about! Just amazingly good food! So if I had a choice, would I choose the finest restaurant to eat OR my wife's cooking? My wife's cooking, every time. It doesn't matter how tasty and succulent the restaurant food is, because it wasn't made with the same love, care and heart for ME that the restaurant makes, and it never could. While the restaurant food may be otherworldly delicious, my wife's food makes me feel loved, and that is simply priceless. It doesn't matter if another woman he plays with is the _oddamn blowjob master, or can fuck the cum outa him in 5 seconds flat. He will never ever love her or care for her like he loves and cares for you. To him, the lady he plays with is nothing more than a fun physical expression, just like the restaurant is a fun culinary experience, but both lack the love, care, thought and feeling for him that only you bring. So don't worry. ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them. Let me give you an analogy: Mrs likes cooking for me, and I like cooking for her. It's a loving gesture beyond the need to eat. While she's pretty hand in the kitchen, she's by no means a Michelin-star chef (same here). Now, I've eaten at some of the finest restaurants in the country, with food cooked by some of the best chefs you can get. The food is mind-blowingly good! I mean, the sort of good you would write novels about! Just amazingly good food! So if I had a choice, would I choose the finest restaurant to eat OR my wife's cooking? My wife's cooking, every time. It doesn't matter how tasty and succulent the restaurant food is, because it wasn't made with the same love, care and heart for ME that the restaurant makes, and it never could. While the restaurant food may be otherworldly delicious, my wife's food makes me feel loved, and that is simply priceless. It doesn't matter if another woman he plays with is the _oddamn blowjob master, or can fuck the cum outa him in 5 seconds flat. He will never ever love her or care for her like he loves and cares for you. To him, the lady he plays with is nothing more than a fun physical expression, just like the restaurant is a fun culinary experience, but both lack the love, care, thought and feeling for him that only you bring. So don't worry. ![]() I like that.thats a really good way of putting it.thanks ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them. Let me give you an analogy: Mrs likes cooking for me, and I like cooking for her. It's a loving gesture beyond the need to eat. While she's pretty hand in the kitchen, she's by no means a Michelin-star chef (same here). Now, I've eaten at some of the finest restaurants in the country, with food cooked by some of the best chefs you can get. The food is mind-blowingly good! I mean, the sort of good you would write novels about! Just amazingly good food! So if I had a choice, would I choose the finest restaurant to eat OR my wife's cooking? My wife's cooking, every time. It doesn't matter how tasty and succulent the restaurant food is, because it wasn't made with the same love, care and heart for ME that the restaurant makes, and it never could. While the restaurant food may be otherworldly delicious, my wife's food makes me feel loved, and that is simply priceless. It doesn't matter if another woman he plays with is the _oddamn blowjob master, or can fuck the cum outa him in 5 seconds flat. He will never ever love her or care for her like he loves and cares for you. To him, the lady he plays with is nothing more than a fun physical expression, just like the restaurant is a fun culinary experience, but both lack the love, care, thought and feeling for him that only you bring. So don't worry. ![]() Brilliant! ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them. Let me give you an analogy: Mrs likes cooking for me, and I like cooking for her. It's a loving gesture beyond the need to eat. While she's pretty hand in the kitchen, she's by no means a Michelin-star chef (same here). Now, I've eaten at some of the finest restaurants in the country, with food cooked by some of the best chefs you can get. The food is mind-blowingly good! I mean, the sort of good you would write novels about! Just amazingly good food! So if I had a choice, would I choose the finest restaurant to eat OR my wife's cooking? My wife's cooking, every time. It doesn't matter how tasty and succulent the restaurant food is, because it wasn't made with the same love, care and heart for ME that the restaurant makes, and it never could. While the restaurant food may be otherworldly delicious, my wife's food makes me feel loved, and that is simply priceless. It doesn't matter if another woman he plays with is the _oddamn blowjob master, or can fuck the cum outa him in 5 seconds flat. He will never ever love her or care for her like he loves and cares for you. To him, the lady he plays with is nothing more than a fun physical expression, just like the restaurant is a fun culinary experience, but both lack the love, care, thought and feeling for him that only you bring. So don't worry. ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them. Let me give you an analogy: Mrs likes cooking for me, and I like cooking for her. It's a loving gesture beyond the need to eat. While she's pretty hand in the kitchen, she's by no means a Michelin-star chef (same here). Now, I've eaten at some of the finest restaurants in the country, with food cooked by some of the best chefs you can get. The food is mind-blowingly good! I mean, the sort of good you would write novels about! Just amazingly good food! So if I had a choice, would I choose the finest restaurant to eat OR my wife's cooking? My wife's cooking, every time. It doesn't matter how tasty and succulent the restaurant food is, because it wasn't made with the same love, care and heart for ME that the restaurant makes, and it never could. While the restaurant food may be otherworldly delicious, my wife's food makes me feel loved, and that is simply priceless. It doesn't matter if another woman he plays with is the _oddamn blowjob master, or can fuck the cum outa him in 5 seconds flat. He will never ever love her or care for her like he loves and cares for you. To him, the lady he plays with is nothing more than a fun physical expression, just like the restaurant is a fun culinary experience, but both lack the love, care, thought and feeling for him that only you bring. So don't worry. ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Yeh we have talked about it loads and he has reassured me so much that he loves me and it's just horny fun.i know it is to that's why I want to give it a go. It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them. Just wanted to see if anyone else felt like that and then did it and everything was ok x" It sounds very much like it's he who is taking the lead on this. Are you going along with things despite your misgivings to please him? I have to agree with the people who've said that it doesn't sound like you're ready for full swap. Why don't you just meet the couple with no expectations or promises of how far you or he will actually go and then just take things one step at a time? Good luck, whatever you decide | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just need abit of advice before we do our first full swap tonight. We both really want to do it however i (Mrs) am worried about how I will feel after seeing him with another woman. Don't know wether I'm over thinking things or I should just try it and if it's not for us then don't do it again? Did any women that are part of a couple have the same thought before they tried it? x" I feel exactly the same and we are yet to have a full swap too....hope it goes well ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The couple never showed up and have now come off the site! x" Thats so harsh ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"always go as fast as the slowest - anything else is a little disrespectful on the part of the others - always talk first and never be scared to say no and stop play at any point - we stress this when we chat with people - " I think the never feel you have to carry on once started is very important... We did that once and it really knocked us both xx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"always go as fast as the slowest - anything else is a little disrespectful on the part of the others - always talk first and never be scared to say no and stop play at any point - we stress this when we chat with people - I think the never feel you have to carry on once started is very important... We did that once and it really knocked us both xx" we came close - lets just say one of us altered the way it was going sharpish - if that hadnt worked we would have stopped - also saw very quickly the other side to the woman involved and has made us wary on first meets - | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wonder if there isn't a case to be made for not going too fast on this kind of thing i.e. having a soft swap with a couple before moving onto a full swap with them. This way you can develop more of a respectful relationship before first venturing off the beaten track. We haven't gone there yet... so it's just a thought really ![]() ![]() ![]() I always say "swinging is a journey not a race". For us we had done so much prep work (couple of club visits, house party, listening to podcasts, reading articles and talking talking talking ) that We were ready to go full swap straight away. It worked for us, but everyone is different and should do what they are comfortable with. ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We had this same chat and came to the conclusion that the people we meet should be viewed as " live sex toys" in no way damaging to our relationship but mearly an extention of " our" sex lifestyle, the focus is always on us and our needs. And we make sure we have proper loved up time together after!!" yes agree about the follow up session afterwards but wouldn't refer to the other couple as live sex toys...bit disrespectful in my eyes...its about safe sexy fun and socializing too. ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We had this same chat and came to the conclusion that the people we meet should be viewed as " live sex toys" in no way damaging to our relationship but mearly an extention of " our" sex lifestyle, the focus is always on us and our needs. And we make sure we have proper loved up time together after!! yes agree about the follow up session afterwards but wouldn't refer to the other couple as live sex toys...bit disrespectful in my eyes...its about safe sexy fun and socializing too. ![]() ![]() That is why I would never meet a couple as a single fem. Only would meet a couple with my partner. Too many potential pitfalls for me. When we go to clubs, though, we often play alone, possibly as we are both bi. We take the memories home with us. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just need abit of advice before we do our first full swap tonight. We both really want to do it however i (Mrs) am worried about how I will feel after seeing him with another woman. Don't know wether I'm over thinking things or I should just try it and if it's not for us then don't do it again? Did any women that are part of a couple have the same thought before they tried it? x" Maybe he will not be feeling great about it when you have both left and the other guy is still dribbling down your leg on to the car seat/couch etc x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Put your big girl pants on,take a deep breath,chillax and just go with the flow. Chances are youll enjoy it xxxx" But what if he enjoys it more with the other woman? The blasé/just get on with it attitude isn't going to help if it turns out the other woman can fuck like a pornstar and leaves him wanting more x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Put your big girl pants on,take a deep breath,chillax and just go with the flow. Chances are youll enjoy it xxxx But what if he enjoys it more with the other woman? The blasé/just get on with it attitude isn't going to help if it turns out the other woman can fuck like a pornstar and leaves him wanting more x" This isn't what swinging is about, or what swinging in reality is like. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Put your big girl pants on,take a deep breath,chillax and just go with the flow. Chances are youll enjoy it xxxx But what if he enjoys it more with the other woman? The blasé/just get on with it attitude isn't going to help if it turns out the other woman can fuck like a pornstar and leaves him wanting more x This isn't what swinging is about, or what swinging in reality is like. " Some people dont get it though do they.. For me no one will ever give me as much as I get with MR... its not about having better.. its about variety.. and for me I have no interest in me and one other guy as Its about the things I cant do just me and Mr..Like a guy each end.. Or a woman and us... Or watching him while he watches me have an amazing time with others.. Some women may be able to do things I cant... but they can never give the whole package that I can... And same in reverse.. I dont fuck other men because Mr isnt enough.. because if he said to me lets have just each other.. I would never be bored as he just does what others cant. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We had this same chat and came to the conclusion that the people we meet should be viewed as " live sex toys" in no way damaging to our relationship but mearly an extention of " our" sex lifestyle, the focus is always on us and our needs. And we make sure we have proper loved up time together after!! yes agree about the follow up session afterwards but wouldn't refer to the other couple as live sex toys...bit disrespectful in my eyes...its about safe sexy fun and socializing too. ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well my wife told me something similar not long before she ran off on me with 4 midgets that i invited over for a bukake party. Just be careful is all I'm saying. X" It actually comes across as you are saying "don't try swinging". Which is a strange thing to say on a swingers site. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not at all, i have caught 3 STDs this year, only two more to go!" I am not sure how to take your posts.. as I cant really see them as being serious.. as that must be some serious bad luck as in over a decade of swinging and being a bit of a slut before that.. I have not caught a thing. ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I kind of have a bareback fetish, comes with the territory xox" Why does it.... Some silly comments on here. We know quite a few people that choose to play bare and still manage to make choices that have meant they don't catch anything Those that play bare I would imagine would be more careful. And certainly wouldn't want to pass anything on to others | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Put your big girl pants on,take a deep breath,chillax and just go with the flow. Chances are youll enjoy it xxxx But what if he enjoys it more with the other woman? The blasé/just get on with it attitude isn't going to help if it turns out the other woman can fuck like a pornstar and leaves him wanting more x This isn't what swinging is about, or what swinging in reality is like. Some people dont get it though do they.. For me no one will ever give me as much as I get with MR... its not about having better.. its about variety.. and for me I have no interest in me and one other guy as Its about the things I cant do just me and Mr..Like a guy each end.. Or a woman and us... Or watching him while he watches me have an amazing time with others.. Some women may be able to do things I cant... but they can never give the whole package that I can... And same in reverse.. I dont fuck other men because Mr isnt enough.. because if he said to me lets have just each other.. I would never be bored as he just does what others cant. " ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We weren't sure how we'd feel afterwards, and it was quite a worry that it might damage our relationship, even though we'd talked about it for months, because you just can't know what it's going to be like "afterwards". Our first full swap was with a lovely couple who took their time with us, everything was gentle and consensual, and everyone had the chance to play so nobody was left out. We were all together so we were able to keep eye contact and squeeze hands occasionally so we never felt apart. Perhaps as a result, the experience for us felt like *adding* to our relationship, not something being taken away or lost. We were really pleased to find our worries about becoming jealous or possessive were unfounded - and the pleasure of seeing each other delighted was fantastic. We'd guess that if you have any 'issues' to resolve that full swaps will amplify them, so make sure everything's sorted in advance, but if you've worked through flirting/soft swaps then you've probably figured all that out. The step to full swap wasn't (for us) as big a step as just getting started in the scene at all! Hope that makes sense and helps!" ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them." I think you need to look at the reasons you are doing this. If we have a meet I (Steve) want Debs to enjoy it, and vice versa. Otherwise what's the point? Swinging isn't for everyone and maybe you need to look at the reasons you are going ahead. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them. " you need to be strong together before starting this - take small steps and feel your way - pardon the pun | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not at all, i have caught 3 STDs this year, only two more to go! I am not sure how to take your posts.. as I cant really see them as being serious.. as that must be some serious bad luck as in over a decade of swinging and being a bit of a slut before that.. I have not caught a thing. ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top | ![]() |