FabSwingers.com forum: Feelings after full swap

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just need abit of advice before we do our first full swap tonight.

We both really want to do it however i (Mrs) am worried about how I will feel after seeing him with another woman.

Don't know wether I'm over thinking things or I should just try it and if it's not for us then don't do it again?

Did any women that are part of a couple have the same thought before they tried it? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have u talked this through completely with your husband,set limits and boundaries.once you have full swapped theres no going back so you need to be 100% sure its what you both want .

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

It's worth asking yourself what feelings you are afraid of experiencing, and then trying to work out why you are afraid you might feel those things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeh we have talked about it loads and he has reassured me so much that he loves me and it's just horny fun.i know it is to that's why I want to give it a go. It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them. Just wanted to see if anyone else felt like that and then did it and everything was ok x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do thought of it turn u both on then go with the flow no presure and stop means stop if u not happy xx pete

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By *oddamnCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

From a a male point of view, why not start to have fun with the guy first while hubby watches? That way you might get carried away and enjoy it more - difficult to think he might be enjoying it too much if you are enjoying it at the same time

Any man looking for an affair won't be taking his wife along with him. If I wanted to cheat it would be easy, but I would rather have the occasional sexual adventure with Mrs Goddamn in the same room, then you share the secret forever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had the same feelings when we did our first full swop.we talked about our fears before we met up .but the couple we met where so understanding and to be honest we found it such a turn on watching each other as we were all in the same room.my advice go with what makes you both feel comfortable.

Have fun x

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By *exybbw_69Couple
over a year ago

Biggleswade

You could always use separate rooms that way you won't see him with the other lady and vice versa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've not full swapped yet and at first we felt like this 2.

But now we see it as we're enhancing our sexual experience.

for us its about something diffrent not about I wanna fuck someone else or if there better because something new and diffrent will sure be nice,but that doesn't mean there better or he doesn't love you.

Keep reassuring each other how much you love each other make sure you don't go below your standerds,rules are set also fund a couple that understands how your feeling.

Everyone was in our boat at one time or another.

But we wish you the best of luck and be sure to enjoy xxxx

And remember no means no even if you well into it.

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By *uietlyBohemianCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

We weren't sure how we'd feel afterwards, and it was quite a worry that it might damage our relationship, even though we'd talked about it for months, because you just can't know what it's going to be like "afterwards".

Our first full swap was with a lovely couple who took their time with us, everything was gentle and consensual, and everyone had the chance to play so nobody was left out. We were all together so we were able to keep eye contact and squeeze hands occasionally so we never felt apart. Perhaps as a result, the experience for us felt like *adding* to our relationship, not something being taken away or lost.

We were really pleased to find our worries about becoming jealous or possessive were unfounded - and the pleasure of seeing each other delighted was fantastic.

We'd guess that if you have any 'issues' to resolve that full swaps will amplify them, so make sure everything's sorted in advance, but if you've worked through flirting/soft swaps then you've probably figured all that out. The step to full swap wasn't (for us) as big a step as just getting started in the scene at all!

Hope that makes sense and helps!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone.its nice to know I'm not the only one that has felt like that.we are meeting a lovely couple to night in a club.we have been talking to them for a while and I've told them I'm nervous. I think once I'm there and talking to them in person it will be ok x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We weren't sure how we'd feel afterwards, and it was quite a worry that it might damage our relationship, even though we'd talked about it for months, because you just can't know what it's going to be like "afterwards".

We were really pleased to find our worries about becoming jealous or possessive were unfounded - and the pleasure of seeing each other delighted was fantastic.

Hope that makes sense and helps!"

Yeh thanks.that's how I'm feeling now. So glad it worked well for you,hope things go just as well for us xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think no matter at what stage of your relationship or swinging journey there are times you get nervous...

We have for a long time now only met together and we are now talking about meeting separately again like we did when we first met...

I've been very protective and a little concerned about if it will affect us...how I will feel after, how he will feel after so we keep talking and taking baby steps and then talk again.

We have agreed that no matter what we do if we are both in agreement and one of us finds it wasn't a good idea after that there will be no bad feelings we will just 're think it out x

Hope you enjoy yourself and as a couple that have met many couples for first full swaps we can assure you that no one expects you to go through with it if you don't feel right.

Personally I adore watching mr with other women and find a sense of pride and just a hint of something I can't describe but it makes me so horny x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeh we have talked about it loads and he has reassured me so much that he loves me and it's just horny fun.i know it is to that's why I want to give it a go. It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them. Just wanted to see if anyone else felt like that and then did it and everything was ok x"

If you're anything like us it'll be you that enjoys it the most - Elle exhausts everybody she plays with!

I think you need to be as sure as possible BEFORE you do it though, it's not a good idea to wait until after.

Nerves are a different thing, and normal. Good luck

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Everyone is nervous the first time so you are not alone. I always advocate talking things through but it sounds like you have already done that and at some point you just need to take the plunge and do it. We did and found that because it was all agreed and consensual, those feelings of jealousy and/or guilt just never materialised and we had a wonderful experience.

There have been some tough times along our journey (we are only new and in the lifestyle since January ) but we have got through them and the good times by far out weigh the bad times

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks.think it's nerves more an anything as we havnt done it before. We have come a long way since we have been together and done so many new things and all have them have gone well. We do things now that we never thought we would be doing whe we started x

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

"Just need abit of advice before we do our first full swap tonight.

We both really want to do it however i (Mrs) am worried about how I will feel after seeing him with another woman.

Don't know wether I'm over thinking things or I should just try it and if it's not for us then don't do it again?

Did any women that are part of a couple have the same thought before they tried it? x"

You have answered your own question i think, i personally don't think you are ready for full swap yet.

You will know when the time is right as the thought of full swap will fill you with excitement rather than worry x.

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By *andeCouple
over a year ago

Bognor area

It's only natural to be bit worried - we both were and actually although we started in same room it was actually better when we went separate rooms - good luck and enjoy

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"Just need abit of advice before we do our first full swap tonight.

We both really want to do it however i (Mrs) am worried about how I will feel after seeing him with another woman.

Don't know wether I'm over thinking things or I should just try it and if it's not for us then don't do it again?

Did any women that are part of a couple have the same thought before they tried it? x

You have answered your own question i think, i personally don't think you are ready for full swap yet.

You will know when the time is right as the thought of full swap will fill you with excitement rather than worry x."

Fully agree - if you have any concerns, don't do it. Have you tried soft swapping? It's a good way of testing the ground. We dud, and enjoyed it, but it was some time before we moved on to full swaps.

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

You need to be absolutely sure it's the next natural step for you. I have seen so many people coming through our club and diving straight in...sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

It's not a race or competition. If you are having worries now, then hang fire a little. Maybe soft swap at first and see how you feel. Talk about it afterwards and set new boundaries only when you are both ready.

I think it's natural to be nervous, but if you are worried that your partner may enjoy having sex with someone else more than you, then I think you should wait a little. Just my thoughts.

At the end of the day, your relationship is the most important thing; swinging is supposed to be extra curricular sex and an additional to an already fantastic sexual relationship. You don't want ANYTHING to jeopardise that.

If it doesn't feel quite right yet, then it probably isn't. Go with your gut and you can't go wrong.

We soft swapped for about 2 years before we moved onto the next stage. Over 10 years our boundaries have changed and evolved but at our pace and only after lots of chatting and soul searching.

Good luck xx

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By *earlyNipsCouple
over a year ago

St Neots

"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them."

Let me give you an analogy:

Mrs likes cooking for me, and I like cooking for her. It's a loving gesture beyond the need to eat. While she's pretty hand in the kitchen, she's by no means a Michelin-star chef (same here).

Now, I've eaten at some of the finest restaurants in the country, with food cooked by some of the best chefs you can get. The food is mind-blowingly good! I mean, the sort of good you would write novels about! Just amazingly good food!

So if I had a choice, would I choose the finest restaurant to eat OR my wife's cooking?

My wife's cooking, every time.

It doesn't matter how tasty and succulent the restaurant food is, because it wasn't made with the same love, care and heart for ME that the restaurant makes, and it never could. While the restaurant food may be otherworldly delicious, my wife's food makes me feel loved, and that is simply priceless.

It doesn't matter if another woman he plays with is the _oddamn blowjob master, or can fuck the cum outa him in 5 seconds flat. He will never ever love her or care for her like he loves and cares for you. To him, the lady he plays with is nothing more than a fun physical expression, just like the restaurant is a fun culinary experience, but both lack the love, care, thought and feeling for him that only you bring.

So don't worry.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them.

Let me give you an analogy:

Mrs likes cooking for me, and I like cooking for her. It's a loving gesture beyond the need to eat. While she's pretty hand in the kitchen, she's by no means a Michelin-star chef (same here).

So if I had a choice, would I choose the finest restaurant to eat OR my wife's cooking?

My wife's cooking, every time.

So don't worry.

I like that.thats a really good way of putting it.thanks

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

just do what you feels right

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By *orshamcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Surrey / Sussex Border

"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them.

Let me give you an analogy:

Mrs likes cooking for me, and I like cooking for her. It's a loving gesture beyond the need to eat. While she's pretty hand in the kitchen, she's by no means a Michelin-star chef (same here).

So if I had a choice, would I choose the finest restaurant to eat OR my wife's cooking?

My wife's cooking, every time.

So don't worry.

Brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them.

Let me give you an analogy:

Mrs likes cooking for me, and I like cooking for her. It's a loving gesture beyond the need to eat. While she's pretty hand in the kitchen, she's by no means a Michelin-star chef (same here).

So if I had a choice, would I choose the finest restaurant to eat OR my wife's cooking?

My wife's cooking, every time.

So don't worry.

best post I've seen in here for a while!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

took us about 18 months until we had our first full swap 4 sum - we started out as a soft swap with bi fem couples at first - then added in single bi fems - we decided we were ok to full swap but when it felt right with the right people - it happened and we never looked back - the couple involved are good friends of ours - we talked with them and even once we were all playing they double checked we were all happy - xxx hope it goes well and remember there is no rush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No the only thing i did regret was not being in the same room watching him.

But the female half was not into the same thing as myself and her husband.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them.

Let me give you an analogy:

Mrs likes cooking for me, and I like cooking for her. It's a loving gesture beyond the need to eat. While she's pretty hand in the kitchen, she's by no means a Michelin-star chef (same here).

So if I had a choice, would I choose the finest restaurant to eat OR my wife's cooking?

My wife's cooking, every time.

So don't worry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think for you to ask the question you may have little doubts already. I hope it all goes ok though guys xxx

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

As others have said, great post NearlyNips, (but is it just me or do others want to try Mrs NearlyNips' cooking now???)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did you get on? Your status update is a little cryptic...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds very much like it's he who is taking the lead on this. Are you going along with things despite your misgivings to please him?

I have to agree with the people who've said that it doesn't sound like you're ready for full swap.

Why don't you just meet the couple with no expectations or promises of how far you or he will actually go and then just take things one step at a time?

Good luck, whatever you decide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always go as fast as the slowest - anything else is a little disrespectful on the part of the others - always talk first and never be scared to say no and stop play at any point - we stress this when we chat with people -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't give advice on how it feels as we haven't done it either, but my OH feels exactly the same. She knows I'm fine with the idea of her and another guy and wants to be able to 'return the favour' as it were playing with another couple, however she is worried about feeling jealous seeing me with another woman. I'd say you've both got to be 100 per cent certain, we're taking it very slowly and as soon as things don't feel right for her/me we'll stop.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

How did it go?

Did you swap?

How do you feel today?

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By *ngels of Sin 69Couple
over a year ago

High Wycombe

"Just need abit of advice before we do our first full swap tonight.

We both really want to do it however i (Mrs) am worried about how I will feel after seeing him with another woman.

Don't know wether I'm over thinking things or I should just try it and if it's not for us then don't do it again?

Did any women that are part of a couple have the same thought before they tried it? x"

I feel exactly the same and we are yet to have a full swap too....hope it goes well

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The couple never showed up and have now come off the site! x

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By *ngels of Sin 69Couple
over a year ago

High Wycombe

"The couple never showed up and have now come off the site! x"

Thats so harsh

sorry to hear that xx

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By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Maybe they spoke and decided the timing wasn't right for them.

They could have, out of courtesy, mailed you tho.

However, don't let it put you off. Enjoy the fun when you get it

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I guess that gives you more time to think about the next steps...and you can work out whether there is more disappointment than relief that they didn't show...

Always best to only do what you really think is okay and you will enjoy.

Good luck in the future i am sure you will both be fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't know how I would feel seeing mr tatts shag another female when it was our first time full swapping. We had tried soft swap first but found out that it wasn't right for us.

When the first full swap happened I was shocked by the amount it turned me on seeing him enjoying another female and taking part of that enjoyment myself ( three sum ).

The sex between us after the meet was so intense.

To be honest you never know how you're going to feel until you try it. Well that's the mindset I went with at the time.

Good luck with your next meet.

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By *aneandpaulCouple
over a year ago

cleveleys

you both have got to be 100% sure we all like the pillow talk turning each other on telling each other our fantasies.

But when it,s reality it,s different.

We have been swinging many year,s it,s worked for us had plenty of fun made our marriage very strong and happy happier than any of our friend,s most have played away or been married 1-3 time,s

Paul was my first we got married very young i was 17 Paul 19 i just wanted to see what another cock felt like it was just going to be the once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love watching my hubby with another woman lol as long I get to join in to xx my advice is go for it and enjoy yourselves xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"always go as fast as the slowest - anything else is a little disrespectful on the part of the others - always talk first and never be scared to say no and stop play at any point - we stress this when we chat with people - "

I think the never feel you have to carry on once started is very important... We did that once and it really knocked us both xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the never feel you have to carry on once started is very important... We did that once and it really knocked us both xx"

we came close - lets just say one of us altered the way it was going sharpish - if that hadnt worked we would have stopped - also saw very quickly the other side to the woman involved and has made us wary on first meets -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if there isn't a case to be made for not going too fast on this kind of thing i.e. having a soft swap with a couple before moving onto a full swap with them. This way you can develop more of a respectful relationship before first venturing off the beaten track. We haven't gone there yet... so it's just a thought really

Good luck

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"I wonder if there isn't a case to be made for not going too fast on this kind of thing i.e. having a soft swap with a couple before moving onto a full swap with them. This way you can develop more of a respectful relationship before first venturing off the beaten track. We haven't gone there yet... so it's just a thought really

Good luck

I always say "swinging is a journey not a race". For us we had done so much prep work (couple of club visits, house party, listening to podcasts, reading articles and talking talking talking ) that We were ready to go full swap straight away. It worked for us, but everyone is different and should do what they are comfortable with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had this same chat and came to the conclusion that the people we meet should be viewed as " live sex toys" in no way damaging to our relationship but mearly an extention of " our" sex lifestyle, the focus is always on us and our needs. And we make sure we have proper loved up time together after!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We had this same chat and came to the conclusion that the people we meet should be viewed as " live sex toys" in no way damaging to our relationship but mearly an extention of " our" sex lifestyle, the focus is always on us and our needs. And we make sure we have proper loved up time together after!!"

yes agree about the follow up session afterwards but wouldn't refer to the other couple as live sex toys...bit disrespectful in my eyes...its about safe sexy fun and socializing too.

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By *epper123Woman
over a year ago

London

yes agree about the follow up session afterwards but wouldn't refer to the other couple as live sex toys...bit disrespectful in my eyes...its about safe sexy fun and socializing too.

That is why I would never meet a couple as a single fem. Only would meet a couple with my partner. Too many potential pitfalls for me. When we go to clubs, though, we often play alone, possibly as we are both bi. We take the memories home with us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just need abit of advice before we do our first full swap tonight.

We both really want to do it however i (Mrs) am worried about how I will feel after seeing him with another woman.

Don't know wether I'm over thinking things or I should just try it and if it's not for us then don't do it again?

Did any women that are part of a couple have the same thought before they tried it? x"

Maybe he will not be feeling great about it when you have both left and the other guy is still dribbling down your leg on to the car seat/couch etc x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put your big girl pants on,take a deep breath,chillax and just go with the flow. Chances are youll enjoy it xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put your big girl pants on,take a deep breath,chillax and just go with the flow. Chances are youll enjoy it xxxx"

But what if he enjoys it more with the other woman?

The blasé/just get on with it attitude isn't going to help if it turns out the other woman can fuck like a pornstar and leaves him wanting more x

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Put your big girl pants on,take a deep breath,chillax and just go with the flow. Chances are youll enjoy it xxxx

But what if he enjoys it more with the other woman?

The blasé/just get on with it attitude isn't going to help if it turns out the other woman can fuck like a pornstar and leaves him wanting more x"

This isn't what swinging is about, or what swinging in reality is like.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put your big girl pants on,take a deep breath,chillax and just go with the flow. Chances are youll enjoy it xxxx

But what if he enjoys it more with the other woman?

The blasé/just get on with it attitude isn't going to help if it turns out the other woman can fuck like a pornstar and leaves him wanting more x

This isn't what swinging is about, or what swinging in reality is like. "

Some people dont get it though do they.. For me no one will ever give me as much as I get with MR... its not about having better.. its about variety.. and for me I have no interest in me and one other guy as Its about the things I cant do just me and Mr..Like a guy each end.. Or a woman and us... Or watching him while he watches me have an amazing time with others..

Some women may be able to do things I cant... but they can never give the whole package that I can... And same in reverse..

I dont fuck other men because Mr isnt enough.. because if he said to me lets have just each other.. I would never be bored as he just does what others cant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well my wife told me something similar not long before she ran off on me with 4 midgets that i invited over for a bukake party.

Just be careful is all I'm saying. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes agree about the follow up session afterwards but wouldn't refer to the other couple as live sex toys...bit disrespectful in my eyes...its about safe sexy fun and socializing too.

No disrespect to the people whom we have met but we set out stall out from the get go. We ate nit harsh people but our relationship comes first. I'm sure there Are plenty of people who meet couples and females and treat them like objects, fuck leave etc, this is not about lasting friendships for us but something we tap into. But we understand people are different, however we have friends outside of fab for social interaction. This is purely about sex for us.

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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

"Well my wife told me something similar not long before she ran off on me with 4 midgets that i invited over for a bukake party.

Just be careful is all I'm saying. X"

It actually comes across as you are saying "don't try swinging". Which is a strange thing to say on a swingers site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all, i have caught 3 STDs this year, only two more to go!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not at all, i have caught 3 STDs this year, only two more to go!"

I am not sure how to take your posts.. as I cant really see them as being serious..

as that must be some serious bad luck as in over a decade of swinging and being a bit of a slut before that.. I have not caught a thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I kind of have a bareback fetish, comes with the territory xox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I kind of have a bareback fetish, comes with the territory xox"

Why does it.... Some silly comments on here.

We know quite a few people that choose to play bare and still manage to make choices that have meant they don't catch anything

Those that play bare I would imagine would be more careful. And certainly wouldn't want to pass anything on to others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Careful shmareful

Going bb is always going to have risks, all it takes is once.

The prostitutes told me they were careful too, didn't do me much good xox

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By *er himWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"Put your big girl pants on,take a deep breath,chillax and just go with the flow. Chances are youll enjoy it xxxx

But what if he enjoys it more with the other woman?

The blasé/just get on with it attitude isn't going to help if it turns out the other woman can fuck like a pornstar and leaves him wanting more x

This isn't what swinging is about, or what swinging in reality is like.

Some women may be able to do things I cant... but they can never give the whole package that I can... And same in reverse..

I dont fuck other men because Mr isnt enough.. because if he said to me lets have just each other.. I would never be bored as he just does what others cant. "

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By *ipswingCouple
over a year ago

portrush

We were really pleased to find our worries about becoming jealous or possessive were unfounded - and the pleasure of seeing each other delighted was fantastic.

Hope that makes sense and helps!"

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them."

I think you need to look at the reasons you are doing this. If we have a meet I (Steve) want Debs to enjoy it, and vice versa. Otherwise what's the point?

Swinging isn't for everyone and maybe you need to look at the reasons you are going ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's just I worry that he's going to enjoy it more with them.

you need to be strong together before starting this - take small steps and feel your way - pardon the pun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not at all, i have caught 3 STDs this year, only two more to go!

I am not sure how to take your posts.. as I cant really see them as being serious..

as that must be some serious bad luck as in over a decade of swinging and being a bit of a slut before that.. I have not caught a thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately if there are any weaknesses of

Jealousy swinging isn't for you I am afraid !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goid this topic has come up. Been and seeb couples in my time. And walked away due to male in relationship got funny due to cant perform or got moody when I am with his partner. Look why have a three if you have not thought about it. I am nit gona run away with the female its fun only hence why I do this NSA. So couples please carfully think please before you swing. If I am spending £200+ on luxury hotels to spoil the lucky couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You will be fucking another guy too not just him with the woman

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