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"... What would you feel or do in my situation? " Loose weight | |||
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" What would you feel or do in my situation? " No disrespect to your family, but they sound like the kind of people who need to be ignored . What gives them the right to critique you, are they all perfect? I suspect not. You have one life, don't live it to other people's rules. You don't have to fit into a pigeon hole someone else thinks you should be in. f*+k them and be happy. | |||
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"you're old enough to be able to deal with this. if you're still letting other people affect you so much that you abandon your goals, you'll just put the weight back on. sort your head out first. " Thanks for your comment. I haven't said anything about abandoning my goals. I'm losing the weight gradually in my own time and sometimes I have moments of weakness, but because I'm not losing as fast as they would like I'm branded a failure. I use to be a size 16/18... I'm asking what would you do in a situation that you believe you are in control of, but the people closest to you say it's not enough. That's the part that frustrates me. | |||
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"you're old enough to be able to deal with this. if you're still letting other people affect you so much that you abandon your goals, you'll just put the weight back on. sort your head out first. Thanks for your comment. I haven't said anything about abandoning my goals. I'm losing the weight gradually in my own time and sometimes I have moments of weakness, but because I'm not losing as fast as they would like I'm branded a failure. I use to be a size 16/18... I'm asking what would you do in a situation that you believe you are in control of, but the people closest to you say it's not enough. That's the part that frustrates me." Your extremely hot, I'm sure many guys would agree. Me (m) have a mother who often comments I'm fat. It's not nice to hear especially from your family. I know it's easy to say but not so easy to do but try not let it get to you. Lastly I know it doesn't help but I certainly wouldn't turn you down | |||
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"Have they always highlighted "your" negatives?" Yes in almost everything. Compared to my younger sister who is a size 6/8, who is married, who's a doctor (I'm a nurse), etc... It's very hard for me to do something that will make them proud or happy. | |||
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"Have they always highlighted "your" negatives? Yes in almost everything. Compared to my younger sister who is a size 6/8, who is married, who's a doctor (I'm a nurse), etc... It's very hard for me to do something that will make them proud or happy. " Then stop trying . I know its easy for me to say that but if they wont be happy until you have achieved something that for you, at this time, is not achievable for your own sanity stop attempting to please them. You will undeniably fail and feel bad, however if you try to achieve and be happy with your goals rather than the ones they have set up for you will stand a chance of contentment. Hope it works out for you Oh and also size 12/14 is NOT fat | |||
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"So I personally know I've struggled with my weight over many years I'm a UK dress size 14 / 16, or 12 on the bottom and 14 on top. It wasn't till recently, when I joined fab, that I gained more confidence in myself and in my body. But I can never shake off my family's comments about me being fat. My Asian parents are the worse telling me I'm fat constantly and I'll never get married because I won't attract anyone. I do want to get fit and healthy for myself, not because they say I should in their time limit, but the moment I have a weak day I'm called a failure. I'm really frustrated with the whole situation. I'm an Asian girl in a Western world with overbearing Asian parents, so I'm not sure anyone else would understand where I'm coming from... What would you feel or do in my situation? " If you plan your diet a bit (if it fits your macros is a good idea to research although sugars need to be worked a bit vs low gi carbs) then you don't need "weak days" heck large part of my diet is ice cream and biscuits. If you want to lose weight lose it if you don't then don't. Try to stick to 2 lb a week maximum weight loss though. | |||
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"So I personally know I've struggled with my weight over many years I'm a UK dress size 14 / 16, or 12 on the bottom and 14 on top. It wasn't till recently, when I joined fab, that I gained more confidence in myself and in my body. But I can never shake off my family's comments about me being fat. My Asian parents are the worse telling me I'm fat constantly and I'll never get married because I won't attract anyone. I do want to get fit and healthy for myself, not because they say I should in their time limit, but the moment I have a weak day I'm called a failure. I'm really frustrated with the whole situation. I'm an Asian girl in a Western world with overbearing Asian parents, so I'm not sure anyone else would understand where I'm coming from... What would you feel or do in my situation? " Well sorry but we don't agree with your "family" we think you have a great figure, a healthy sexy size, not fat at all. | |||
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"Have they always highlighted "your" negatives? Yes in almost everything. Compared to my younger sister who is a size 6/8, who is married, who's a doctor (I'm a nurse), etc... It's very hard for me to do something that will make them proud or happy. " Their behaviour sounds habitual. It sounds like you'll never win. I know how it feels. The only thing you can change is you, ie your reaction. Learn to accept your qualities and frailties. Let negativity fly over your head. Perhaps revel in the fact you're losing weight, the enthusiasm may be catching. Even if not, you be happy! In time all insults will have less effect. | |||
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"You look lovely, great shape and no problems about your size - a long way from being fat! I would happily explore and honour your beautiful body" Does this kind of overtly creeping approach actually work for you? | |||
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" And be proud of being a real woman. Xxx" Because a woman under a size 14 isn't a real woman? | |||
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"On the days when you have a slip. think of a bunch of flowers, if one dies do you throw out the whole bunch?? No you discard the one dead flower and enjoy the rest. So have one bad day and then go back to doing what is right for you. As long as your GP says you are a healthy size then you are fine and your parents aren't helping. But talk to your parents, suggest to them that their negative attitude is not helpful and the best way they can help is by encouraging you when you have attained a goal. Xxx" I like that flower analogy | |||
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"Have they always highlighted "your" negatives? Yes in almost everything. Compared to my younger sister who is a size 6/8, who is married, who's a doctor (I'm a nurse), etc... It's very hard for me to do something that will make them proud or happy. " The wind.does.not try to go.through the mountain, it.flows around it. If there is no pleasing them, stop.trying and instead focus.on what makes.you happy and.proud. And I am convinved there are many aspects of.your life you can ne.proud of. | |||
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"I wish I was as 'fat' as you! and me!" Me too!! Miss C. Xx | |||
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"On the days when you have a slip. think of a bunch of flowers, if one dies do you throw out the whole bunch?? No you discard the one dead flower and enjoy the rest. So have one bad day and then go back to doing what is right for you. As long as your GP says you are a healthy size then you are fine and your parents aren't helping. But talk to your parents, suggest to them that their negative attitude is not helpful and the best way they can help is by encouraging you when you have attained a goal. Xxx I like that flower analogy " can't claim it as mine. I did my time at Slimming world and it was the motivational phrase that helped me the most xx | |||
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"You look lovely, great shape and no problems about your size - a long way from being fat! I would happily explore and honour your beautiful body Does this kind of overtly creeping approach actually work for you?" giggidy | |||
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"If your parents aren't happy with your weight? Tell them to live with being unhappy. If you're not happy with your weight? You have the choice to act on your feelings. The decision is yours - not theirs. Good luck. A" This, although I know it's easier said than done. A parent's job is to be supportive of their child. If they're tearing you down on a daily basis, then they have problems. Those problems are not your problems. Speak to them and explain how their comments make you feel and give them a chance to rectify their behaviour. If they don't care about the upset they are causing you, perhaps you need to distance yourself from them a bit. You only have one life, don't waste it. And you certainly are not fat! | |||
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" And be proud of being a real woman. Xxx Because a woman under a size 14 isn't a real woman?" | |||
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"On the days when you have a slip. think of a bunch of flowers, if one dies do you throw out the whole bunch?? No you discard the one dead flower and enjoy the rest. So have one bad day and then go back to doing what is right for you. As long as your GP says you are a healthy size then you are fine and your parents aren't helping. But talk to your parents, suggest to them that their negative attitude is not helpful and the best way they can help is by encouraging you when you have attained a goal. Xxx" | |||
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"Have they always highlighted "your" negatives? Yes in almost everything. Compared to my younger sister who is a size 6/8, who is married, who's a doctor (I'm a nurse), etc... It's very hard for me to do something that will make them proud or happy. " Just be "you" - you're unique! My sister has always been slim too. She's one of the people though that has never commented on my weight, as she knows I've always struggled with it. She hates her collar bones as she says they stick out - so we all are our own worst critics ! You don't sound overweight to me, size 12 /14 is not big! You've done great already to get down from a size 16/18. I've always found that pressure from others makes me want to eat more. So do what makes you happy rather than other people. Easier said than done , I know ! | |||
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"So I personally know I've struggled with my weight over many years I'm a UK dress size 14 / 16, or 12 on the bottom and 14 on top. It wasn't till recently, when I joined fab, that I gained more confidence in myself and in my body. But I can never shake off my family's comments about me being fat. My Asian parents are the worse telling me I'm fat constantly and I'll never get married because I won't attract anyone. I do want to get fit and healthy for myself, not because they say I should in their time limit, but the moment I have a weak day I'm called a failure. I'm really frustrated with the whole situation. I'm an Asian girl in a Western world with overbearing Asian parents, so I'm not sure anyone else would understand where I'm coming from... What would you feel or do in my situation? " id be 100% proud to have u either as a gf or fb ur a stunner | |||
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"Have they always highlighted "your" negatives? Yes in almost everything. Compared to my younger sister who is a size 6/8, who is married, who's a doctor (I'm a nurse), etc... It's very hard for me to do something that will make them proud or happy. " I wouldn't call you fat, I'd say you have curves in the right places and you look incredibly sexy. If you really want to lose weight, I can recommend the couch to 5k running plan to get you running for exercise. You can download the audio files from the nhs website and once you get the running bug, there's no stopping. I've lost 4 stone in 6 months just by eating smaller portions and s balanced diet and running regularly as I was in a similar situation to yourself. If you were closer then I would be willing to help you plan meals and do exercise with you. | |||
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"So I personally know I've struggled with my weight over many years I'm a UK dress size 14 / 16, or 12 on the bottom and 14 on top. It wasn't till recently, when I joined fab, that I gained more confidence in myself and in my body. But I can never shake off my family's comments about me being fat. My Asian parents are the worse telling me I'm fat constantly and I'll never get married because I won't attract anyone. I do want to get fit and healthy for myself, not because they say I should in their time limit, but the moment I have a weak day I'm called a failure. I'm really frustrated with the whole situation. I'm an Asian girl in a Western world with overbearing Asian parents, so I'm not sure anyone else would understand where I'm coming from... What would you feel or do in my situation? " Sod them. I've fabbed a couple of your pics. You've got a great figure and your very pretty. I'd happily get jiggy with you lol. | |||
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"Thanks for all your comments. It's just hard to filter negative energy from people you're so close to. Owwww life is so funny sometimes " Google 'emotional abuse'. Look after yourself. Hugs xx | |||
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"you're old enough to be able to deal with this. if you're still letting other people affect you so much that you abandon your goals, you'll just put the weight back on. sort your head out first. Thanks for your comment. I haven't said anything about abandoning my goals. I'm losing the weight gradually in my own time and sometimes I have moments of weakness, but because I'm not losing as fast as they would like I'm branded a failure. I use to be a size 16/18... I'm asking what would you do in a situation that you believe you are in control of, but the people closest to you say it's not enough. That's the part that frustrates me." My other half tried that and it can be frustrating if you let it. I simply said it took years to put the weight on and it'll take years to come off: if you can't be supportive I'd rather you not comment (highly sanitised version). | |||
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"Thanks for all your comments. It's just hard to filter negative energy from people you're so close to. Owwww life is so funny sometimes Google 'emotional abuse'. Look after yourself. Hugs xx" | |||
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"Have they always highlighted "your" negatives? Yes in almost everything. Compared to my younger sister who is a size 6/8, who is married, who's a doctor (I'm a nurse), etc... It's very hard for me to do something that will make them proud or happy. " You're not here to make your parents proud or happy. You need to do that for yourself. Do whatever you think YOU need to do to be happy. For what it's worth you look great. Don't be too hard on yourself. There's enough people in this world who will try to beat you down without you doing it to yourself. | |||
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" If you choose to change your shape eat healthy, little and often, and exercise. I'm a health coach so if you would like a few tips please feel free to PM me. " why can't you post the tips on the thread so everyone can benefit from them ? | |||
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" If you choose to change your shape eat healthy, little and often, and exercise. I'm a health coach so if you would like a few tips please feel free to PM me. why can't you post the tips on the thread so everyone can benefit from them ?" He can't give his contact details on the forum. | |||
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" And be proud of being a real woman. Xxx Because a woman under a size 14 isn't a real woman?" My post was meaning she looks good and to be proud of her body no matter what size. It definitely wasn't implying any criticism of women under size 14, especially considering I'm a size 10/12 myself. I mean we are not all supermodels. We are all real women who eat, bloat sometimes, have lumps bumps and spots. (sorry for hijacking thread op) x | |||
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"Have they always highlighted "your" negatives? Yes in almost everything. Compared to my younger sister who is a size 6/8, who is married, who's a doctor (I'm a nurse), etc... It's very hard for me to do something that will make them proud or happy. " Dont worry its part of being asian parents say a lot dont taje it to heart you are beautiful and not everyone can be a dr or wants to be a dr. Everyone is beautiful in there own way | |||
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"Thanks all I'm back on the wagon. Doing it low carb and cutting unnecessary sugar out. I will admit that was one of the reasons I put weight back on () and not the light or diet stuff either. Mum is still being a bother, happy that I'm not eating rice anymore, but still telling me to still lessen my already small portions. I just ignore her now and my sister chimed in and said leave her alone lol. It's a struggle to be patient. Lol " Coke zero is a god send for when you get cravings for something sweet. Up your protien intake it will keep you feeling full so helps with will power. | |||
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"Thanks all Coke zero is a god send for when you get cravings for something sweet." its full of aspartame ..avoid !! have a banana or some something thats healthy | |||
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"Thanks all I'm back on the wagon. Doing it low carb and cutting unnecessary sugar out. I will admit that was one of the reasons I put weight back on () and not the light or diet stuff either. Mum is still being a bother, happy that I'm not eating rice anymore, but still telling me to still lessen my already small portions. I just ignore her now and my sister chimed in and said leave her alone lol. It's a struggle to be patient. Lol " Basically, you are not fat. Listen to advice yes, but as you are eating small portions already, I wouldnt change that. Good luck | |||
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"Thanks all Coke zero is a god send for when you get cravings for something sweet. its full of aspartame ..avoid !! have a banana or some something thats healthy" except out side of invitro studies or studies where they injected mice with literally thousands of times the yearly consumption of a human noone has ever found an issue with aspartame, and so help me god if you say it causes insulin spikes. | |||
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"So I personally know I've struggled with my weight over many years I'm a UK dress size 14 / 16, or 12 on the bottom and 14 on top. It wasn't till recently, when I joined fab, that I gained more confidence in myself and in my body. But I can never shake off my family's comments about me being fat. My Asian parents are the worse telling me I'm fat constantly and I'll never get married because I won't attract anyone. I do want to get fit and healthy for myself, not because they say I should in their time limit, but the moment I have a weak day I'm called a failure. I'm really frustrated with the whole situation. I'm an Asian girl in a Western world with overbearing Asian parents, so I'm not sure anyone else would understand where I'm coming from... What would you feel or do in my situation? " You are beautiful, no matter what anyone says x | |||
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