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Ex husband help

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So last night Jen got a phone call from her ex husband saying that he has found out we are on fab as someone sent all our pics to him. We were a bit freaked out to start with because we didn't know what to say.

We don't hide what we do , close friends and family are aware we are on here . And we openly had all our photos on show .

It's a bit weird knowing he has seen our photos but hey ho can't change that.

The main problem though is her kids are his and now he's saying he doesn't want me around them as I'm obviously a weirdo and a pervert. And he is going to cause problems for us. He's already joined the site several times and we have currently put our profile to hidden . Anyone else had similar issues ? Any advice ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How awful for you, i don't have any words of wisdom except to say that being a swinger doesn't make you a weirdo or a bad, dangerous person so hold your heads high. Good luck xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

First thing is try and find his profile because if you can show that he's here then he's in the same boat. Then see a solicitor I guess.

Sorry I can't be anymore help hope it works out ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You aren't weird, and for him to say that is wrong......what does he think is happening, singing in front of them....idiot. It sounds like a hint of jealousy on his part.

You are not doing anything wrong, it's your life, live it. let him live his, if he wants to act in an immature way let him!

Hope it works out for you both and he comes to his senses!

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By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

there are some petty closed minded people around

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By *oublethefun696Couple (MM)
over a year ago

Omagh/Belfast

I'm no expert by any means, but being a swinger is not illegal. What consenting adults do is nobody's business as long as it doesn't effect the kids in any way. He wouldn't have a case to stand on if it went to court. If there is fighting over children, court is often the best way to sort it out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

He thinks we must have crazy orgies and stuff at our house all the time . And he called her a slag and a bad mother . And that their kids must be living in an unsafe environment around weirdos and perverts.

We don't ever meet when we have the kids . That was something that we agreed a long time ago . And nearly all our meets are at venues and clubs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"He thinks we must have crazy orgies and stuff at our house all the time . And he called her a slag and a bad mother . And that their kids must be living in an unsafe environment around weirdos and perverts.

We don't ever meet when we have the kids . That was something that we agreed a long time ago . And nearly all our meets are at venues and clubs"

You don't need to explain yourselves to us.

You do need to address this though and you also need to address his concerns. He is their father and hidden under the threats might be genuine worries. If possible a sensible discussion is the way forward but I know that might not be easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You gotta love a wanky ex haven't you?!

You're doing nothing wrong.

Remember that!

It has nothing to do with the kids nor does it affect them in any way. Nor does it reflect upon your ability to be good parents.

If he wasn't kicking off about this no doubt you'd still be going through it for something else?!

Sit tight and ride it out.

He can threaten and intimidate all he likes. But until he actually takes it further they are idle threats. He's just a bully to my mind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You gotta love a wanky ex haven't you?!

You're doing nothing wrong.

Remember that!

It has nothing to do with the kids nor does it affect them in any way. Nor does it reflect upon your ability to be good parents.

If he wasn't kicking off about this no doubt you'd still be going through it for something else?!

Sit tight and ride it out.

He can threaten and intimidate all he likes. But until he actually takes it further they are idle threats. He's just a bully to my mind. "

He is a bully and was always controlling of her . This is one of the reasons we have come on here , as she wants to express herself. She never felt any confidence before coming here . And this site has changed her for the better in so many ways.

We are gonna ride it out but are debating wether to start a new profile or change our names or location .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recently brought my ex to court over him not seeing them when hes supposed to . He tried to bring up me being on here and judge said as long as its not affecting my kids its no1s business .. i dont bring anyone home and nobody but my mum knows im on here ..

even if he brings it up in court its hearsay so nothing he can do

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Hes probably still a bit jealous of your relationship ... and that you see his children more than he does ...

Hes most likely bluffing. . He will need proof of bad parenting if he wants to take it further ...

Just smile sweetly at him ... if hes on fab too ... people in glass houses shouldnt throw stones ...

Lets hope he gets some meet s soon ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You gotta love a wanky ex haven't you?!

You're doing nothing wrong.

Remember that!

It has nothing to do with the kids nor does it affect them in any way. Nor does it reflect upon your ability to be good parents.

If he wasn't kicking off about this no doubt you'd still be going through it for something else?!

Sit tight and ride it out.

He can threaten and intimidate all he likes. But until he actually takes it further they are idle threats. He's just a bully to my mind.

He is a bully and was always controlling of her . This is one of the reasons we have come on here , as she wants to express herself. She never felt any confidence before coming here . And this site has changed her for the better in so many ways.

We are gonna ride it out but are debating wether to start a new profile or change our names or location . "

I speak from experience. So I do completely understand. Sounds like the lady did good funding you. High 5 to you both.

But as I do speak from experience. You and I both know that whatever you do to try and stop him finding you on here now. He'll find you regardless. It's futile. And it is allowing him to still control you both. You're better than that. Stick together and he'll realise eventually that his demands and actions have no effect.

Back down now and he'll find something else to create agg over anyway.

His behaviour is neither reasonable nor acceptable. But no doubt that'll never change.

But why should you change because of someone else's inability to just be reasonable?!

Tell him 'Bring it on!!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex husband is same - has now several times tried to "black mail" me over first one other site and now fab (some one told him).

However as one reply says "The courts will tell him to "f** off" as it does not concern children at all; it's private and none of his concern". We are both over age of consent so can do what ever we want to do in our spare time.

My new hubby had a little chat with him 2 weeks ago, since then he's a changed man; as my hubby pointed out to him, since he was on Fab and trying to blackmail me "Who was the bigger ***"...

To make certain, that he got the message a nice letter from my hubby's solicitors made him think again..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely speak to a solicitor. Her ex could cause trouble with your friends, family, school. Swinging may not be illegal but general society do think it's odd. Hence why many people won't publicly have face pics. Who wants to be the subject of gossip...

Good luck. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Definitely speak to a solicitor. Her ex could cause trouble with your friends, family, school. Swinging may not be illegal but general society do think it's odd. Hence why many people won't publicly have face pics. Who wants to be the subject of gossip...

Good luck. x"

Particularly the chat with a solicitor.

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

That sounds like a difficult situation that you do need to be careful with. take care...

I agree with most of what is said in replies but doesn't make it easier to deal with

The scenario is one of the many that lead to genuine people on here not being overly public with pictures and information... I am sorry your openness has caused an issue, but it would seem doubtful that he would carry forward any threats.

Best wishes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Won't do any harm talking to the police saying he is harassing you. Get it on record

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh that's awful thing he is doing.

Here's my advice because I do have first hand experience of this as my ex wife obviously had something like this on me as she once let it slip she knew I was a swinger. Fortunately I didn't bite back and my own kids have grown up quite well adjusted and don't seem to resent anything I may have done.

Try to stay calm. Don't get excited about it and call his bluff. Once he realises the free baby sitting has dried up he might change his mind.

Mrs N ex husband used their children as weapons constantly too and one of them has turned into a right fucked up little shit and the other 2 are carrying alot of baggage. There probably isn't a lot you can do about it as. The best thing to do is let it run it's course as best you can, try not to get into huge rows as they can become quite corrosive in your own relationship and that is what he wants.

Good luck with it and sorry to see of your troubles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If ive said it once, ive said it a million times...face pic+on public+swingers site = terrible idea. All the more so if you have kids. Im aware this is no help whatsover to the op but feel it still pertinent

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He thinks we must have crazy orgies and stuff at our house all the time . And he called her a slag and a bad mother . And that their kids must be living in an unsafe environment around weirdos and perverts.

We don't ever meet when we have the kids . That was something that we agreed a long time ago . And nearly all our meets are at venues and clubs

You don't need to explain yourselves to us.

You do need to address this though and you also need to address his concerns. He is their father and hidden under the threats might be genuine worries. If possible a sensible discussion is the way forward but I know that might not be easy."

I really like your comments on a lot of threads they always make a lot of sense x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He thinks we must have crazy orgies and stuff at our house all the time . And he called her a slag and a bad mother . And that their kids must be living in an unsafe environment around weirdos and perverts.

We don't ever meet when we have the kids . That was something that we agreed a long time ago . And nearly all our meets are at venues and clubs

You don't need to explain yourselves to us.

You do need to address this though and you also need to address his concerns. He is their father and hidden under the threats might be genuine worries. If possible a sensible discussion is the way forward but I know that might not be easy.

I really like your comments on a lot of threads they always make a lot of sense x"

They do and we are following her advice . Jen is going round to talk to him about what we do later.

Like i said we have nothing to hide. Turns out the person that told him was a very good friend of ours . So I'll be going round to talk to him as well to find out why .

As for the face photos in this instance it wouldn't have mattered as this person was on our friends list.

We have no shame of having our face on our profile and didn't expect this to happen as he lives in a different area from us .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"He thinks we must have crazy orgies and stuff at our house all the time . And he called her a slag and a bad mother . And that their kids must be living in an unsafe environment around weirdos and perverts.

We don't ever meet when we have the kids . That was something that we agreed a long time ago . And nearly all our meets are at venues and clubs

You don't need to explain yourselves to us.

You do need to address this though and you also need to address his concerns. He is their father and hidden under the threats might be genuine worries. If possible a sensible discussion is the way forward but I know that might not be easy.

I really like your comments on a lot of threads they always make a lot of sense x"

Oh, thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From personal experience one thing i have learned about control freaks is they are extremely manipulative. This is his way of manipulating your ex.

He won't actually care about you or even be jealous, he just wants to control her, and by controlling the way she interacts with you is his way of controlling her. He's also trying to control her sex life as well, which is mainly you but also other swingers.

She, not you, is going to have to be the one who makes it clear to him that she won't put up with his controlling behaviour. It can take ages, years even, for a control freak to get the hint that they are not allowed to control your life, and even then they will still try occasionally. But the more obvious you are about it the more likely they are to actually realise you don't care what they say to you, when it comes to your life.

Best way i found to stop my ex from trying to control my life was to cut him dead completely. He would start going on at me, telling me i can't do this or that etc, an argument would happen coz obviously i'd get angry at someone telling me what to do, and he'd get something from the arguing- mainly he'd know i was actually hearing what he was telling me to do and i was taking what he said seriously because it provoked an emotional response from me. Also, he got to continue telling me what he wanted me to do despite me not agreeing to it.

This is advice for her. Every interaction she has with him from now on needs to be calm, and kept as brief as possible. Keep every sentence brief and concise. He can have his say so long as he stays calm too, and so long as he understands that when you say no to something then no means no. He is not allowed to argue or quibble with you after you've made your point, he is not allowed to demand anything from you as you are separated and your adult lives are separate.

So firstly, calmly and briefly make it clear that he is nothing to do with you any more, that he has no right to a say in your life as an adult at all.

Also, although he has a right to a say in his childrens life, when the kids are in your care then what happens is also nothing to do with him, unless he actually believes it is causing them harm, and he has to back up anything he claims with facts.

You should be able to discuss things with him, if you can both keep everything brief and he understands that he has no right to control you. I had to have my say with my ex, and if he started arguing back i would just cut him dead and not continue discussing anything at all with him to let him know that i was not interested in what he had to say at all, because he was talking about things that were nothing to do with him and he had no say in them.

Unfortunately with my ex i just cannot talk to him at all now, not even to be civil because he takes being civil as a sign that i am interested in anything he has to say and it always ends up that he is obsessed with my life somehow, despite not being a part of it for over 10 years (apart from picking up his kids occasionally). This isn't a problem though as my kids with him are now 15 and 18 and they are able to interact with him without my input. Last time i interacted with him was last year and he slagged me off in front of my kids and made my then 17 year old cry in my arms because he hated his dad and loved me. I'd hardly interacted with him for years before then but that was the last straw for me.

Kids aren't stupid, they know who is being reasonable and who isn't. Sadly their immaturity also means they will love both parents and arguing between them causes them a lot of internal conflict, a lot of pain and they often can't deal with this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear about all this op, it is crap when stuff like this happens.

From a personal point of view - negotiating with her ex sounds like it is putting the power in the hands of a bully. He might try and do damage to the pair of you.

From a professional point of view -

1. I would get a children's advocacy service involved (google NYAS). The children's voice needs to be heard, it might turn out they hate daddy or it might turn out they know you have lots of people over for sex. Either way if you do it now the three of you should be able to talk over what is best for the kids with dad making it a power struggle.

2. Ask dad to ask the police to do a background check on you. If there is nothing to worry about then the police will tell him that and to jog on.

3. Ask advice of Social Services about the swinging, and ask them to record everything including the NYAS report. This is important as if it goes to court it will come out anyway, this way you have taken steps to protect yourselves.

Social Services as part of a public body have to abide by your right to a private life under Human Rights Act 1998, but can override it if children are in danger. So you could say we only swing when kids are not there or we use clubs only, the house is not involved.

Good luck and hope it helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If ive said it once, ive said it a million times...face pic+on public+swingers site = terrible idea. All the more so if you have kids. Im aware this is no help whatsover to the op but feel it still pertinent"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From personal experience one thing i have learned about control freaks is they are extremely manipulative. This is his way of manipulating your ex.

He won't actually care about you or even be jealous, he just wants to control her, and by controlling the way she interacts with you is his way of controlling her. He's also trying to control her sex life as well, which is mainly you but also other swingers.

She, not you, is going to have to be the one who makes it clear to him that she won't put up with his controlling behaviour. It can take ages, years even, for a control freak to get the hint that they are not allowed to control your life, and even then they will still try occasionally. But the more obvious you are about it the more likely they are to actually realise you don't care what they say to you, when it comes to your life.

Best way i found to stop my ex from trying to control my life was to cut him dead completely. He would start going on at me, telling me i can't do this or that etc, an argument would happen coz obviously i'd get angry at someone telling me what to do, and he'd get something from the arguing- mainly he'd know i was actually hearing what he was telling me to do and i was taking what he said seriously because it provoked an emotional response from me. Also, he got to continue telling me what he wanted me to do despite me not agreeing to it.

This is advice for her. Every interaction she has with him from now on needs to be calm, and kept as brief as possible. Keep every sentence brief and concise. He can have his say so long as he stays calm too, and so long as he understands that when you say no to something then no means no. He is not allowed to argue or quibble with you after you've made your point, he is not allowed to demand anything from you as you are separated and your adult lives are separate.

So firstly, calmly and briefly make it clear that he is nothing to do with you any more, that he has no right to a say in your life as an adult at all.

Also, although he has a right to a say in his childrens life, when the kids are in your care then what happens is also nothing to do with him, unless he actually believes it is causing them harm, and he has to back up anything he claims with facts.

You should be able to discuss things with him, if you can both keep everything brief and he understands that he has no right to control you. I had to have my say with my ex, and if he started arguing back i would just cut him dead and not continue discussing anything at all with him to let him know that i was not interested in what he had to say at all, because he was talking about things that were nothing to do with him and he had no say in them.

Unfortunately with my ex i just cannot talk to him at all now, not even to be civil because he takes being civil as a sign that i am interested in anything he has to say and it always ends up that he is obsessed with my life somehow, despite not being a part of it for over 10 years (apart from picking up his kids occasionally). This isn't a problem though as my kids with him are now 15 and 18 and they are able to interact with him without my input. Last time i interacted with him was last year and he slagged me off in front of my kids and made my then 17 year old cry in my arms because he hated his dad and loved me. I'd hardly interacted with him for years before then but that was the last straw for me.

Kids aren't stupid, they know who is being reasonable and who isn't. Sadly their immaturity also means they will love both parents and arguing between them causes them a lot of internal conflict, a lot of pain and they often can't deal with this."

Fantastic post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah but how many people seriously do blind dates on here. Not many I bet. there's no simple answer is there to this question about face pix or no face pix.

We don't meet people without a face piccy haven't got caught out on our very first date by peeps who were to say the least economical with the truth about their appearance. so that rules out all the no face pickers for us.

But this sidetracks the issue of the couple here doesn't it. Sorry. just saying that's all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"From personal experience one thing i have learned about control freaks is they are extremely manipulative. This is his way of manipulating your ex.

He won't actually care about you or even be jealous, he just wants to control her, and by controlling the way she interacts with you is his way of controlling her. He's also trying to control her sex life as well, which is mainly you but also other swingers.

She, not you, is going to have to be the one who makes it clear to him that she won't put up with his controlling behaviour. It can take ages, years even, for a control freak to get the hint that they are not allowed to control your life, and even then they will still try occasionally. But the more obvious you are about it the more likely they are to actually realise you don't care what they say to you, when it comes to your life.

Best way i found to stop my ex from trying to control my life was to cut him dead completely. He would start going on at me, telling me i can't do this or that etc, an argument would happen coz obviously i'd get angry at someone telling me what to do, and he'd get something from the arguing- mainly he'd know i was actually hearing what he was telling me to do and i was taking what he said seriously because it provoked an emotional response from me. Also, he got to continue telling me what he wanted me to do despite me not agreeing to it.

This is advice for her. Every interaction she has with him from now on needs to be calm, and kept as brief as possible. Keep every sentence brief and concise. He can have his say so long as he stays calm too, and so long as he understands that when you say no to something then no means no. He is not allowed to argue or quibble with you after you've made your point, he is not allowed to demand anything from you as you are separated and your adult lives are separate.

So firstly, calmly and briefly make it clear that he is nothing to do with you any more, that he has no right to a say in your life as an adult at all.

Also, although he has a right to a say in his childrens life, when the kids are in your care then what happens is also nothing to do with him, unless he actually believes it is causing them harm, and he has to back up anything he claims with facts.

You should be able to discuss things with him, if you can both keep everything brief and he understands that he has no right to control you. I had to have my say with my ex, and if he started arguing back i would just cut him dead and not continue discussing anything at all with him to let him know that i was not interested in what he had to say at all, because he was talking about things that were nothing to do with him and he had no say in them.

Unfortunately with my ex i just cannot talk to him at all now, not even to be civil because he takes being civil as a sign that i am interested in anything he has to say and it always ends up that he is obsessed with my life somehow, despite not being a part of it for over 10 years (apart from picking up his kids occasionally). This isn't a problem though as my kids with him are now 15 and 18 and they are able to interact with him without my input. Last time i interacted with him was last year and he slagged me off in front of my kids and made my then 17 year old cry in my arms because he hated his dad and loved me. I'd hardly interacted with him for years before then but that was the last straw for me.

Kids aren't stupid, they know who is being reasonable and who isn't. Sadly their immaturity also means they will love both parents and arguing between them causes them a lot of internal conflict, a lot of pain and they often can't deal with this.

Fantastic post. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are probably going to get some real shite over this. It's the same stuff Gays suffered until recently.

Swinging is just not accepted however fucking about is ! Go figure!

I've never met a swinger who swings with kids in the house and I never would do it with kids in someone's house.

Yet most single men will tell you one night stands have taken us home to find (sometimes after the fact) they have a teen kid upstairs.

It's not a nice feeling and if I was a kid I'd be gutted.

Point I'm making however is Swingers are more responsible in my experience than many single adults playing the "normal" field.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just wanted to say thank you for everyone that has posted on here and sent us private messages. This thread alone proves that swingers aren't bad people.

We have decided to keep a low profile on here til the weekend then we are putting our page back online . We have way to many friends to be pushed off the site.

Hopefully things will settle down and we will be able to carry on as before .

Bruce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/04/15 14:47:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just wanted to say thank you for everyone that has posted on here and sent us private messages. This thread alone proves that swingers aren't bad people.

We have decided to keep a low profile on here til the weekend then we are putting our page back online . We have way to many friends to be pushed off the site.

Hopefully things will settle down and we will be able to carry on as before .

Bruce"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If that is the case then he must be a weirdo and a pervert for joining too !!

Hope all gets sorted soon . Can't be a nice situation .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fantastic post. "

Thanks both. Took me a while to figure out how to deal with him but i figured it out eventually. You just have to test things out with them until you get your desired result.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He thinks we must have crazy orgies and stuff at our house all the time . And he called her a slag and a bad mother . And that their kids must be living in an unsafe environment around weirdos and perverts.

We don't ever meet when we have the kids . That was something that we agreed a long time ago . And nearly all our meets are at venues and clubs

You don't need to explain yourselves to us.

You do need to address this though and you also need to address his concerns. He is their father and hidden under the threats might be genuine worries. If possible a sensible discussion is the way forward but I know that might not be easy.

I really like your comments on a lot of threads they always make a lot of sense x

Oh, thank you "
its an Eastbourne thing??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a bloke stands on a bridge taking photos of lorry's as we go past......That's weird.

Swinging ain't a crime and your doing nothing wrong.

Swap your photos to (I hate the term) normal dressed ones then the rest private. Then tell him to go duck himself as your to busy to care lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does this threat constitute blackmail? In taking your pictures isn't he indulging in revenge porn? If he has a problem with your lifestyle in relation to his children then he should see social services.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's blackmail

contact the police! Jot down all phone calls and what he has been saying to you!

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle


"From personal experience one thing i have learned about control freaks is they are extremely manipulative. This is his way of manipulating your ex.

He won't actually care about you or even be jealous, he just wants to control her, and by controlling the way she interacts with you is his way of controlling her. He's also trying to control her sex life as well, which is mainly you but also other swingers.

She, not you, is going to have to be the one who makes it clear to him that she won't put up with his controlling behaviour. It can take ages, years even, for a control freak to get the hint that they are not allowed to control your life, and even then they will still try occasionally. But the more obvious you are about it the more likely they are to actually realise you don't care what they say to you, when it comes to your life.

Best way i found to stop my ex from trying to control my life was to cut him dead completely. He would start going on at me, telling me i can't do this or that etc, an argument would happen coz obviously i'd get angry at someone telling me what to do, and he'd get something from the arguing- mainly he'd know i was actually hearing what he was telling me to do and i was taking what he said seriously because it provoked an emotional response from me. Also, he got to continue telling me what he wanted me to do despite me not agreeing to it.

This is advice for her. Every interaction she has with him from now on needs to be calm, and kept as brief as possible. Keep every sentence brief and concise. He can have his say so long as he stays calm too, and so long as he understands that when you say no to something then no means no. He is not allowed to argue or quibble with you after you've made your point, he is not allowed to demand anything from you as you are separated and your adult lives are separate.

So firstly, calmly and briefly make it clear that he is nothing to do with you any more, that he has no right to a say in your life as an adult at all.

Also, although he has a right to a say in his childrens life, when the kids are in your care then what happens is also nothing to do with him, unless he actually believes it is causing them harm, and he has to back up anything he claims with facts.

You should be able to discuss things with him, if you can both keep everything brief and he understands that he has no right to control you. I had to have my say with my ex, and if he started arguing back i would just cut him dead and not continue discussing anything at all with him to let him know that i was not interested in what he had to say at all, because he was talking about things that were nothing to do with him and he had no say in them.

Unfortunately with my ex i just cannot talk to him at all now, not even to be civil because he takes being civil as a sign that i am interested in anything he has to say and it always ends up that he is obsessed with my life somehow, despite not being a part of it for over 10 years (apart from picking up his kids occasionally). This isn't a problem though as my kids with him are now 15 and 18 and they are able to interact with him without my input. Last time i interacted with him was last year and he slagged me off in front of my kids and made my then 17 year old cry in my arms because he hated his dad and loved me. I'd hardly interacted with him for years before then but that was the last straw for me.

Kids aren't stupid, they know who is being reasonable and who isn't. Sadly their immaturity also means they will love both parents and arguing between them causes them a lot of internal conflict, a lot of pain and they often can't deal with this."

I would find it difficult to disagree with anything you say here...It is hard to manage this technique, as it takes courage, nerve, guts and support from whoever you can get good support from, but you are completely right...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had very similar through the new partner og my ex, I telephoned the Police and said he was attempting to blackmail me. Went quiet very quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG what a horrible situation, i sympathise with you both, the clearest thing you could do is start your profile over and hide photo's, but i think it is unfair that he has any sway over what you do, i hope an acceptable solution is found for you both soon and you can move on from him basically stalking you.

The few weeks i have been on the forums you have been nothing but nice to me, it would be a real shame if you were forced too leave by his insecurities.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Dick.

Don't worry, he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Let him make his empty threats and try and cause trouble.

You said you don't play with the kids in the house so unless he can prove you put your children at risk, he'll be wasting police and court time if he tries anything.

I would take note and screenshots of his threats to "cause trouble" for you for future reference and then if anything does come up you have something to say he's a bitter ex trying to shit-stir.

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire


"So last night Jen got a phone call from her ex husband saying that he has found out we are on fab as someone sent all our pics to him. We were a bit freaked out to start with because we didn't know what to say.

We don't hide what we do , close friends and family are aware we are on here . And we openly had all our photos on show .

It's a bit weird knowing he has seen our photos but hey ho can't change that.

The main problem though is her kids are his and now he's saying he doesn't want me around them as I'm obviously a weirdo and a pervert. And he is going to cause problems for us. He's already joined the site several times and we have currently put our profile to hidden . Anyone else had similar issues ? Any advice ?

"

Had the same thing. He took his as far as he could go and outed me to everyone. Even contacted the police with concerns that I was a risk to public safety. Final result. I'm doing nothing wrong and it backfired on him for acting like a crazy stalker. Just ride it out. Try not to paranoid and remember, it's sheer jealousy on his part.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Glad to hear you won't be pushed off the site by this bully. He clearly needs therapy for his control issues.

Hold your head high, if he continues to threaten and push a call to the police or a solicitors letter sounds like a good plan.

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol


"

If he wasn't kicking off about this no doubt you'd still be going through it for something else?!

"

how do you know that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So last night Jen got a phone call from her ex husband saying that he has found out we are on fab as someone sent all our pics to him. We were a bit freaked out to start with because we didn't know what to say.

We don't hide what we do , close friends and family are aware we are on here . And we openly had all our photos on show .

It's a bit weird knowing he has seen our photos but hey ho can't change that.

The main problem though is her kids are his and now he's saying he doesn't want me around them as I'm obviously a weirdo and a pervert. And he is going to cause problems for us. He's already joined the site several times and we have currently put our profile to hidden . Anyone else had similar issues ? Any advice ?

"

So you're a weirdo and a pervert yet it is perfectly acceptable for him to join Fab?

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By *tehereMan
over a year ago

manchester

invite him round for a fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/11/19 06:06:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/11/19 14:13:53]

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

I think I'd seek legal advice. You're not perverts, and its a bit hypocritical if he's on here too. Can argue if he's doing the same, but I would seek advice, specialist maybe that deals with children's rights.

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