FabSwingers.com forum: What am I doing wrong

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have been on here about a month and haven't even managed to speak to a oerson never mind meet any one. What am I doing wrong. Can some 1 help me ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile isn't exactly selling you and most on here are not going to just want to meet so you can practice your oral skills

Good luck

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

Wow. Just wow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to practise oral for the wifes sake?

God knows what your doing wrong.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most men can wait over a year just to get a meet, it takes time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

most single fellas on here have the same problem..you just have to plod on and keep trying

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/04/15 00:43:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not just practise on your wife? I'm sure she'd be able to give you tips?

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh fuck..i thought you was single..buy a rubber doll and practice on that..

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

So...

We just lay there, you do your thing and we give constructive criticism...

Nope, I can't see where you are going wrong?! Maybe you should upload a flaccid cock shot to help boost your chances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try smiling

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By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

OP...

I've just read your profile and the first thought that came into my head was BLOODY FANTASTIC. I mean it works like magic.

All I did was read out your profile to my misses and she chucked herself on the floor with her legs wide open! And then... oop's sorry, got to go, Kylie Minogue has just come round for a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have been on here about a month and haven't even managed to speak to a oerson never mind meet any one. What am I doing wrong. Can some 1 help me ? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your problem is that you're male looking for a female.... Join the back of the queue (by the way, we're all at the back of the queue....)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your problem is that you're male looking for a female.... Join the back of the queue (by the way, we're all at the back of the queue....)"

Oh dear....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your problem is that you're male looking for a female.... Join the back of the queue (by the way, we're all at the back of the queue....)"

Speak for yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP...

I've just read your profile and the first thought that came into my head was BLOODY FANTASTIC. I mean it works like magic.

All I did was read out your profile to my misses and she chucked herself on the floor with her legs wide open! And then... oop's sorry, got to go, Kylie Minogue has just come round for a shag

LMAO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your problem is that you're male looking for a female.... Join the back of the queue (by the way, we're all at the back of the queue....)

Speak for yourself. "

Ha!! Cheeky fella x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Harsh comments.

OP, I think what you are looking for is perfectly valid, but you may be having trouble as its a bit niche.

I would hazard a guess that most women wouldnt want to feel like a commodity to be used as practice.

Perhaps try re wording it a little, and adding a bit more about yourself. Its great you dont just have pictures of your cock, but a few body pics might be nice to see.

Best of luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not harsh at all...

He's advertising for a practice foo foo!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Well this thread has certainly brightened my evening up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You just sound crass and desperate. Sorry... but just my little take on it. You need to look friendly too! Your pic looks a bit psycho-ish.

Too honest..? yes/no?

Also I agree with what someones e said earlier about practicing on the person that you're actually trying to impress... your wife!

Ok...will stop now. Don't wanna sound mean, just offering my 2ps worth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not harsh at all...

He's advertising for a practice foo foo!"

Foot food lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ahhhhhh shit.... bloody autocorrect!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not harsh at all...

He's advertising for a practice foo foo!"

So?

Arent people entitled to look for whatever kinks they want on here?

Whether they find them or not is a different matter, but its harsh to ridicule what hes looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahhhhhh shit.... bloody autocorrect! "

Foot food...another fetish!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife"

seriously though, do you think it's flattering to women to be used to practice oral? Ffs. If you genuinely want to meet women change your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your problem is that you're male looking for a female.... Join the back of the queue (by the way, we're all at the back of the queue....)

Speak for yourself.

Ha!! Cheeky fella x"

Well.....what a silly sympathy seeking comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your problem is that you're male looking for a female.... Join the back of the queue (by the way, we're all at the back of the queue....)

Speak for yourself.

Ha!! Cheeky fella x

Well.....what a silly sympathy seeking comment."

Indeed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife

seriously though, do you think it's flattering to women to be used to practice oral? Ffs. If you genuinely want to meet women change your profile. "

Pls don't change it!

Ladies should know they're wanted guinea pigs....at least this way he's being honest and will attract exactly what he earns.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/04/15 01:26:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ahhhhhh shit.... bloody autocorrect!

Foot food...another fetish! "

I did think that actually lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont talk just spread your legs and let me eat

Trust me you wont be needing a napkin

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife

seriously though, do you think it's flattering to women to be used to practice oral? Ffs. If you genuinely want to meet women change your profile.

Pls don't change it!

Ladies should know they're wanted guinea pigs....at least this way he's being honest and will attract exactly what he earns....."

Lol

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By *immy2xMan
over a year ago

aberdeen/inverness/ highlands

Op kust do yer thing, all tjis your doing this wrong or that wrong dont mean shit on here really, its a number game here most of the damr woman that mihht look and criticise your profile havr ptobably put in zero fucking effort into there own uet stand here in judgement of others.

If i made a profile on here as a wonan with no photos and no real info i bet i would still get 100s of msgs.

And the guy that said you might need to wait a year before getting a meet says it all really. There are far better places than here meet woman where the odds are not so unevenly stacked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife

seriously though, do you think it's flattering to women to be used to practice oral? Ffs. If you genuinely want to meet women change your profile.

Pls don't change it!

Ladies should know they're wanted guinea pigs....at least this way he's being honest and will attract exactly what he earns....."

Isn't that called learning the hard way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife

seriously though, do you think it's flattering to women to be used to practice oral? Ffs. If you genuinely want to meet women change your profile.

Pls don't change it!

Ladies should know they're wanted guinea pigs....at least this way he's being honest and will attract exactly what he earns.....

Isn't that called learning the hard way?

No.

It's called not lying to get what your really looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Op kust do yer thing, all tjis your doing this wrong or that wrong dont mean shit on here really, its a number game here most of the damr woman that mihht look and criticise your profile havr ptobably put in zero fucking effort into there own uet stand here in judgement of others.

If i made a profile on here as a wonan with no photos and no real info i bet i would still get 100s of msgs.

And the guy that said you might need to wait a year before getting a meet says it all really. There are far better places than here meet woman where the odds are not so unevenly stacked. "

Cripes who rattled your cage pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife

seriously though, do you think it's flattering to women to be used to practice oral? Ffs. If you genuinely want to meet women change your profile.

Pls don't change it!

Ladies should know they're wanted guinea pigs....at least this way he's being honest and will attract exactly what he earns.....

Isn't that called learning the hard way?

No.

It's called not lying to get what your really looking for. "

So you really think his profile will attract lots of clunge?

Hahaha it'd be funny if it did

amazingly so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife

seriously though, do you think it's flattering to women to be used to practice oral? Ffs. If you genuinely want to meet women change your profile.

Pls don't change it!

Ladies should know they're wanted guinea pigs....at least this way he's being honest and will attract exactly what he earns.....

Isn't that called learning the hard way?

No.

It's called not lying to get what your really looking for.

So you really think his profile will attract lots of clunge?

Hahaha it'd be funny if it did

amazingly so."

I don't think it will.....but if that's what he's after, he'll get exactly what's his....and that may well be nothing....

I dare say most would prefer the truth rather than being lied to just so they can be test subjects for a wife who probably doesn't know he's on here.

What he's looking for won't attract much attention....so be it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife

seriously though, do you think it's flattering to women to be used to practice oral? Ffs. If you genuinely want to meet women change your profile.

Pls don't change it!

Ladies should know they're wanted guinea pigs....at least this way he's being honest and will attract exactly what he earns.....

Isn't that called learning the hard way?

No.

It's called not lying to get what your really looking for.

So you really think his profile will attract lots of clunge?

Hahaha it'd be funny if it did

amazingly so.

I don't think it will.....but if that's what he's after, he'll get exactly what's his....and that may well be nothing....

I dare say most would prefer the truth rather than being lied to just so they can be test subjects for a wife who probably doesn't know he's on here.

What he's looking for won't attract much attention....so be it. "

Indeed. Well it's worked out so far hasn't it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that some weird German in the 1st paragraph???

Or just bad grammar?

Maybe put autocorrect on, even when it's wrong it can be funny.

If i made a profile on here as a wonan with no photos and no real info i bet i would still get 100s of msgs.

And the guy that said you might need to wait a year before getting a meet says it all really. There are far better places than here meet woman where the odds are not so unevenly stacked.

Cripes who rattled your cage pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooooooo do love a good mass debate

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By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Thanks OP...For putting a big

on my face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife

seriously though, do you think it's flattering to women to be used to practice oral? Ffs. If you genuinely want to meet women change your profile.

Pls don't change it!

Ladies should know they're wanted guinea pigs....at least this way he's being honest and will attract exactly what he earns.....

Isn't that called learning the hard way?

No.

It's called not lying to get what your really looking for.

So you really think his profile will attract lots of clunge?

Hahaha it'd be funny if it did

amazingly so.

I don't think it will.....but if that's what he's after, he'll get exactly what's his....and that may well be nothing....

I dare say most would prefer the truth rather than being lied to just so they can be test subjects for a wife who probably doesn't know he's on here.

What he's looking for won't attract much attention....so be it.

Indeed. Well it's worked out so far hasn't it

Perfectly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

guess it makes a change from the guys all claiming to be amazing at it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"guess it makes a change from the guys all claiming to be amazing at it...

For hours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you might have a mild sub fetish?

Would you like the lady you're meeting to spank you if you get it wrong, at all?

Just wondering?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most men can wait over a year just to get a meet, it takes time

Sorry Shag, but this is just so far from the truth.....

But given the OPs profile he could be waiting a decade or more. Just wants a "pussyvto practice on"..... What an amazing offer!

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

If I woman were to take you up on your offer OP (I doubt it), you do realise the 'tips' she gives you are on.how to please her doing it, as sweet FA to do with what pleases your wife when doing it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most men can wait over a year just to get a meet, it takes time

Sorry Shag, but this is just so far from the truth.....

But given the OPs profile he could be waiting a decade or more. Just wants a "pussyvto practice on"..... What an amazing offer!"
lol a decade and I know what you mean, well I could already have had 10 meets if I was prepared to travel thruout uk, it depends how far your willing to travel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What the actual fuck??

What's wrong with practicing on your wife? Does she even know youre here asking advice on how to muff her? Bet she would be mortified! Jesus!

...and to all you "its a numbers game"er's and "boo hoo I can't get a meet"er's then why don't you volunteer ya bunch of pussies

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

...and to all you "its a numbers game"er's and "boo hoo I can't get a meet"er's then why don't you volunteer ya bunch of pussies

Because most of the boo hooers have a cock so unfortunately arent what the OPs looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Conversely if there are any ladies here who would like to practice their oral skills for the benefit of their husbands/boyfriends I REALLY don't mind being a guinea pig.

To be honest I'd dress up as any animal you wanted.

Well, maybe not a llama......

I love the forums. Pure comedy gold. It's better than live at the apollo.. .......

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

...and to all you "its a numbers game"er's and "boo hoo I can't get a meet"er's then why don't you volunteer ya bunch of pussies

Because most of the boo hooers have a cock so unfortunately arent what the OPs looking for. "

On god now i feel like i twat. I got the joke after i posted FFS. If anyon wants me im in the corner wearing the dunce hat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...and to all you "its a numbers game"er's and "boo hoo I can't get a meet"er's then why don't you volunteer ya bunch of pussies

Because most of the boo hooers have a cock so unfortunately arent what the OPs looking for. "

It's a numbers game = How many women would slap a man who asked them this question in the street? Op could start rimming his gf, then would have plenty of boo hooers to practice on.

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By *inkylouiseWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

Do you realy have to ask . The answer is your profile. Simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just read your profile OP, and for one fleeting moment I just cannot imagine what could be wrong ... honest guv'ner I just cannot even begin to think what it could be that's preventing woman not writing to you by the cart load ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all know its ok for women to cheat but when a man does it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, you need a clit test dummy, like a crash test dummy but a little more advanced

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may be wrong.........

But it may have something to do with your profile write up mate!!

....I may be wrong though!

Its either that or they don't like the wallpaper in your house!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just when I thought I'd seen everything on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quick everyone use your notes facility before he changes it to the usual generic crap on here. This has to be the funniest profile ever!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick everyone use your notes facility before he changes it to the usual generic crap on here. This has to be the funniest profile ever! "

Its a joke profile surely??!

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"If I woman were to take you up on your offer OP (I doubt it), you do realise the 'tips' she gives you are on.how to please her doing it, as sweet FA to do with what pleases your wife when doing it."

Very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick everyone use your notes facility before he changes it to the usual generic crap on here. This has to be the funniest profile ever! "

Miss, your comment has tickled my fancy,,, I cant stop giggling like a little girl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick everyone use your notes facility before he changes it to the usual generic crap on here. This has to be the funniest profile ever!

Miss, your comment has tickled my fancy,,, I cant stop giggling like a little girl

lol love the profile! The king of alliteration

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick everyone use your notes facility before he changes it to the usual generic crap on here. This has to be the funniest profile ever! "
That's right its the generic ones that's boring lol, but this one is fun

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

Judging by the status message he hangs out at some classy rendezvous spots too....

I wonder if his wife accompanies him...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Change of profile will help a whole lot.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

"We are on here to be pleasured not as test cases for your wife

seriously though, do you think it's flattering to women to be used to practice oral? Ffs. If you genuinely want to meet women change your profile.

Pls don't change it!

Ladies should know they're wanted guinea pigs....at least this way he's being honest and will attract exactly what he earns.....

Isn't that called learning the hard way?

No.

It's called not lying to get what your really looking for.

So you really think his profile will attract lots of clunge?

Hahaha it'd be funny if it did

amazingly so.

I don't think it will.....but if that's what he's after, he'll get exactly what's his....and that may well be nothing....

I dare say most would prefer the truth rather than being lied to just so they can be test subjects for a wife who probably doesn't know he's on here.

What he's looking for won't attract much attention....so be it. "

Very right. Nobody likes to be lied to.

But OP ffs - what made you think that profile would work!?!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lynch the OP! Lynch him!!! Hang the bastard!!!" Sorry, just jumping on the band wagon!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Wow, just wow.

To the OP...welcome to the forum, please don't be put off by some of the comments, not everyone on the forum tries to humiliate people.

I am going to stop the thread now but before I do I will quote a post that gives the best advice for you.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Harsh comments.

OP, I think what you are looking for is perfectly valid, but you may be having trouble as its a bit niche.

I would hazard a guess that most women wouldnt want to feel like a commodity to be used as practice.

Perhaps try re wording it a little, and adding a bit more about yourself. Its great you dont just have pictures of your cock, but a few body pics might be nice to see.

Best of luck

Thanks Owl, you have shown how it can be done polite and civil.

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